Something New
by darkclocks
Summary: Olivia Benson had a tough year since Sgt. Dodds death. A surprising breakup with Tucker & a recent case that rocked NYC has her in need for a change & a vacation. Something new. Enter Alex Cabot, an old friend. Background: Canon thru S18; No prior AO romance, but will be. Tucker happened & I'm ok with it, however, this WILL NOT be a love triangle with Liv/Ed/Alex. Breathe easy.
1. Vacation

_A/N: End of Season 18. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but it'll at least be a few chapters. Rated T for now. M for later chapters._

 _A few notes if you've never read my fics before: I like angst. I'm sorry. I struggle with happy/no drama all the time, but I try to balance it out; You'll probably see minor typos/gramma mistakes. If I spend too much time editing, I'll keep editing and never finish. I promise, it'll be readable. But for this, I go for quickness over perfect; I try to update regularly, especially when I'm working through a particular storyline. Usually late at night each night, with a night off here and there when I'm in the middle of something. If I stop, there is a reason or we're at a good pausing place (applies more to longer fics); I try not to demonize any characters. I know some hate Elliot/Tucker/Any One Else who Olivia could be paired with. You won't see that with me. I respect other ships, I hope people respect mine; I read all reviews and take things to heart/suggestions. I can't always work things in, or I have a specific story to tell, but I do appreciate tactful feedback; Finally, I try to make things as real life as possible, but with the understanding this is fiction...there has to be some crazy/angst/drama otherwise, what's the point of reading about two women sitting on a couch reading books and binge watching the new season of Twin Peaks? I incorporate that mundane stuff, but there has to be some action somewhere. Also, I hate writing smut scenes, but I try to work them in when appropriate (because I love reading other peoples)._

* * *

 **VACATION**

Olivia Benson was tired.

Physically.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

The emotions of the city had finally calm after the attacks on the Muslim family, and everything that proceeded it, including a mosque being set on fire. But the effects had taken a toll on Olivia.

She was put in a position to do things she never imagined she would do; things she hated. She wasn't sure if she'd have actually went through with calling ICE on a suspect's wife to get her to testify, but she wasn't sure she wouldn't have either. As a detective, she would have never considered it and would have pitched a fit if it had been suggested. However, she was in charge now and that meant looking out for the overall best interest of the city, even if it went against her personal beliefs. And tensions were high; they remained high, too, even after the case.

But the one line should wouldn't cross was perjury; not again. Hiding the truth never had worked out for her. And even if she felt pressure from Dodds and Barba, she wasn't going down the road again.

She still had her integrity and she'd do what she had to in order to keep it. Besides, she was setting an example for Noah every day. Even if he was too young to understand, she wanted to be able to tell him that despite all the bad in the world, and all the shortcuts, it was possible to keep your integrity. That's all she could hope for Noah.

Now that things were settled down at work, Dodds had insisted she and Noah take a vacation. His surprise offer still running through her head as she decided whether to take up his offer.

" _Leave the city. I have a buddy with a place in the Hamptons. He hasn't even been there in two years. I'm looking after it. Go. Take Noah and stay for the week. You'll have all the privacy you and Noah need, and I promise not to bother you."_

" _I don't know. Things could pop up here at any time again."_

" _Things are settled now, Liv. And things could always pop up. Please, go and spend time with your son. This time is precious for the two of you. I still remember Mike at that age. Anyway, I've already arranged for Yvette from Bronx SVU to check in over here. Your squad, they're well oiled, right?"_

He wasn't wrong. They were well-oiled and she trusted their decision-making. She also trusted Yvette from the Bronx. And, a vacation did sound nice.

After bath time, Olivia put Noah down for bed and read him a story. When they were done, she tucked him in.

"Noah, what would you think of going on a vacation? You and Mommy going on a trip?" she asked him.

"Like the plane with Tuck?" he asked innocently.

 _Paris. Tucker. Noah still remembered. So did she._ Tucker was another chapter to the long year she'd faced since Mike had died. It had been wonderful, and Olivia was forever grateful she had Ed during that time. But it was more than that. She loved him, and he loved her, but somehow it fell apart. She couldn't really explain it other than their timing was just off. She didn't regret it, though; she never would.

But Olivia was looking for new roads. She was ready for a change and a freedom she hadn't felt for the past year.

"Well, kind of, sweetie. But we won't be going on an airplane, and it will just be you and Mommy. No Ed. We'll just go in the car for a short drive. You like the ocean, right?"

Noah nodded eagerly. They had taken a few weekends and gone to the beach, and Lucy had taken him once. Aside from the cold water, he was a fan, especially of making sand castles

Olivia leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "Ok, sweet boy. You and I will go to the beach in a few days. For a whole week."

Noah's eyes glowed as he gave Olivia one last hug. She wasn't entirely sure telling him about the beach right before bed was the best idea. It was possible he'd be too excited to sleep. But she wanted to get back to Chief Dodds sooner rather than later.

When she left Noah's room, she pulled out her phone to text Dodds.

 _Chief, Noah and I will take you up on your offer. I'll make some arrangements at work and you can let me know what days are best._

 _Olivia, I'll tell the housekeeper than checks in on it to expect you and Noah tomorrow. I've already taken care of things at SVU. I'll email directions in a bit. You'll get the key at the gate. Go, have fun. And I don't want to hear from you for at least a week!_

Olivia rolled her eyes a little bit. _Tomorrow?_ She would have to let Lucy know and pack, but she wasn't going to argue. She was a little uncertain as to how fancy this place was, it had a gate and was in the Hamptons, after all. She just hoped there wasn't too much Noah could destroy.

#

The following afternoon, Olivia and Noah arrived at their vacation home for the week. It was even nicer than Olivia had imagined. It wasn't the kind of place she normally vacationed, but it was a generous offer and she certainly wasn't going to complain. It was beautiful and had access to the beach that only a few other homes could access. A mostly private beach for a week with her son didn't sound terrible.

Dodds really had taken care of everything. Before she could even call her squad the next morning or Yvette, they were already fully briefed and assured her not to worry. Even things worked out with Lucy. Olivia was still going to pay her of course, and asked her to check in on her apartment. But Lucy seemed genuinely excited to spend some much-needed time with her mother. Everything really was working out.

As Olivia was unpacking and figuring out what her and Noah would do their first evening, the housekeeper Claire stopped in to check on her.

"Ms. Benson?" the older woman asked. "Mr. Dodds asked me to check in and make sure you were getting settled in. Is there anything you need? I stocked the fridge and while it may not be the most toddler-proof home, I made sure to lock away anything dangerous."

"Oh, wow," Olivia said. "Thank you so much. You can call me Olivia. I prefer it. And this is Noah. Anyway, we seem to have everything we need. We're just happy to be here for a chance to relax."

"Olivia, it's nice to meet you and Noah," she said. "I'm Claire. I live in the guest home next door, if you do need anything or have any questions. My phone number is on the fridge with some recommendations for dining. I hope you and your son have a good vacation."

"Thank you," Olivia said. "We were actually just figuring out what to do tonight. Is there anything going on nearby or kid-friendly places we could get some dinner and explore?"

"If you and Noah like pizza, Federico's is the best around – in my opinion," Claire said. "And it's very kid-friendly. It's a family-run business, so family-friendly it is."

Olivia chuckled and smiled. "You must have children or been around them," she said.

"Four children and nine grandchildren," Claire said. "With another grandbaby on the way."

"You're blessed," Olivia said. "Thank you for checking in on me and for all your help."

"Any time," Claire said. "I can check in tomorrow if you want, but if you want privacy, I understand that as well."

"We should be ok, but if you want to stop by, it'll be nice to see you again," Olivia said.

"Well, Ms. Olivia, it's been a pleasure meeting you," Claire said. "I'll let you and Noah finish getting settled. If you go to Federico's, tell them you're a friend of Claire's."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you."

She had been in the Hamptons less than a few hours, a place she wasn't expecting to feel totally comfortable, and already felt right at home.

This was going to be a good week. She had a good feeling about it.

#

"We'll have a small pepperoni and green pepper pizza and a Caesar salad," Olivia said when the server came to take her order. "I'll have a merlot to drink and this guy will have milk."

"In a cup with a lid, I presume?" the young girl asked.

"Oh, yes, please," Olivia said.

"I'll be right back with your drinks," the server said.

When she returned a few minutes later, she sat Noah's milk in front of him, as well as crayons and a coloring mat. Noah immediately started coloring.

"And your wine," the girl said. "By the way, I understand you're a friend of Claire?"

"How did you?" Olivia began.

"It's not that big of a place," she said. "Claire called and said a friend of hers and her young son would maybe be coming by. Most everyone else in here are locals, so it wasn't hard to figure out you were the friend."

Olivia laughed. "Claire is kind."

"She really is the best," the girl said. "I'll be right back with your salad and your pizza shouldn't take too long."

Olivia colored along with Noah while they waited on their food. Olivia was glad there was a lid for his cup, as he almost immediately picked it up – two hands- and tilted it back, even if he was drinking from a straw.

"Careful, Noah," Olivia said. "Just leave it on the table and drink through the straw, ok buddy?"

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said. He focused his attention back on coloring until their food came. Then Olivia had to hold him back so she could cut his slice up and let it cool off. Of course, the eager boy popped in a piece that was still too hot right away, burning the roof of his mouth.

"Baby, it's just like home," Olivia said. "We have to let it cool for a minute."

"But I hungry," Noah said.

"I know, but you don't want to burn your mouth again do you?" Olivia said gentle. "Here, take a drink of milk. It'll help your mouth. You can eat some of my salad while we wait on the pizza to cool."

After a few minutes, the temperature had cooled, so both Noah and Olivia could start eating the pizza. As Olivia was mid-bite, however, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Let me guess, pepperoni and green peppers."

Olivia froze for second, then finished her bite and quickly pulled the slice away, trying not to let the cheese drip down on her chin. She turned to her side to see the person who was now standing next to her table.

"Alex," Olivia said. She was surprised to see the former SVU ADA standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, except I prefer mushrooms to green peppers," Alex joked. Olivia chuckled and motioned for Alex to sit down across from her and Noah. "Actually, my dad has a place out here and I decided to come for a few days before the madness of summer gets here."

"Oh, that's right. Of course," Olivia said. "We are staying at –"

"Bob Bryant's place?" Alex said.

"How did you?" Olivia found herself saying for the second time that evening.

"It's not that big of a place," Alex said. "And people are pretty nosey."

"I'm getting that," Olivia said.

"I actually didn't know when I saw you," Alex said. "It took me a minute to put it together. I know Bob and Dodds are tight, and I saw you all had a pretty tough case going on lately. Is this a mandatory vacation?"

"Well, kind of, but not the kind Cragen used to send me on," Olivia said. The two women shared a laugh and stared intently. It had been a long time since they had seen each other.

"What's it been?" Olivia said.

"Well, how old is Noah?" Alex said.

"Three and a half," Olivia said. "And I saw you after the adoption, so I guess it's been a couple of years."

"Too long," Alex said.

"Agreed," Olivia said. "Are you here with someone? Your dad?"

"Oh, no," Alex said. "It's just me. He's not out here with me."

"Well, I don't know if you've ordered or not, but you're welcome to join us," Olivia said. "I mean, if you can tolerate my green peppers."

"I was going to get my food to-go, but…," Alex paused, uncertain if she wanted to interrupt family time. "I'd hate to impose on your time with Noah. Besides, I could eat one of those small pizzas myself. Rookie move, Liv."

Olivia laughed. "Noah isn't quite eating me out of house and home yet," Olivia said. "And Claire apparently stocked the fridge at the house."

"Oh, isn't Claire the best?" Alex said.

"You know Claire, too?" Olivia said. Alex tilted her head down and raised her eyes. "Of course, you do. Everyone knows each other here. All the same, you wouldn't be imposing at all."

"I'll tell you what," Alex said. "Let me order a salad and some garlic sticks for us. I'm surprised Claire didn't give you that tip. The garlic sticks are the best. We call them crack sticks in my family."

"Deal," Olivia said. "Is it ok with you if Alex joins us, Noah?" Olivia realized Noah had become quiet, intently watching the interaction between her and Alex.

"Your friend?" Noah asked.

"Yes, Noah," Olivia said. "Alex is my friend. We used to work together."

"It's very nice to meet you Noah," Alex said, offering her hand to him across the table. Noah's small hand reach out and shook it as a 3-year-old would.

"Is she your friend like Tuck?" Noah asked, turning to Olivia. Olivia blushed and avoided eye contact with Alex. Alex smirked. She hadn't seen Olivia in two years, but she knew enough from the courthouse rumor mill to know that "Tuck" meant Ed Tucker. Alex had to admit, she was surprised when she heard they were dating – even unbelieving – but she also heard from a number of people how happy Olivia had been with Tucker. How they made an unlikely, but fitting pair. She'd seen the change in Tucker firsthand over the years.

Alex silently wondered what happened.

"Um, no, not quite like Tucker," Olivia said. "But Alex and Mommy used to be good friends."

 _Used to be._

The words stung – both of them. It wasn't that anything had happened to cause them to drift apart. Just a series of things. Witness protection – twice. The Congo. The revolving door of ADA at the SVU – at least until Barba had arrived. And of course, their jobs were also the number one priority to them. It was easy to go weeks, months, and eventually years without talking.

Somehow, they had just drifted apart. She couldn't really explain it other than life just got in the way.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	2. Lex

_A/N: Glad you all enjoyed the first chapter. Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate it. (more notes at bottom)_

* * *

 **LEX**

The following day Olivia spent time with Noah. They had a busy day planned. Alex had given her a list of all the fun things for kids Noah's age and the two of them had made a day of it.

Olivia invited Alex to join them, but she insisted Olivia enjoy her time with Noah without distractions. However, she did agree to join them for dinner again. Noah was usually pretty mellow after dinner and a bath. It would give them time to catch up and Olivia had to admit, as much as she was enjoying time with Noah, a full week without any other adult interaction was a little daunting.

Luckily, when they got home from a full day, Noah was worn out. Olivia put him down for a nap and it gave her a chance to see what Claire's version of a stocked fridge looked like.

Olivia peered through the fridge and freezers, then the cupboards. Claire really had done a good job and the food was healthy. Olivia was thankful for that after a night of pizza. She didn't mind Noah having treats and junk food on the rare occasion, but she was trying to instill healthy eating happens for him a young age. That mean she had made several changes herself and felt better for it. She still loved Chinese take-out as much as she did in her 20s, but she couldn't live on leftover take-out and beer like she did for many years.

 _Grilled salmon. Asparagus. Wild rice._ Olivia couldn't have picked a better dinner if she tried. She wasn't sure what Alex's eating habits were like these days, but the ADA had always eaten a bit healthier than her. Unless she was a vegetarian now, she figured it would suit Alex as well.

Olivia opened up a bottle of pinot grigio she had been chilling in the fridge. She had picked it up in town earlier before Noah and she came home. She poured a half glass of wine and set aside a small amount in a measuring cup to flavor the salmon before she put it on the grill. The house had nearly a full kitchen on the back patio, completely covered and screened in. Grilling wasn't something Olivia had much opportunity to do in the city, so she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

When Noah woke up, she put out some toys from him to play with on the patio while she cooked dinner – a routine they were familiar with. Once Olivia had the fish and asparagus on the grill and the rice on, she heard the doorbell ring. She figured it must be Alex.

"Noah, why don't you come with me to let Alex inside?" She reached for his hand and the two of them walked to the front door. "Do you remember what we practiced today?"

"Hi, Lex," Noah said. Olivia smiled at the shortened name. She was sure Alex would hate it if an adult called her that, but she figured Noah just may get a pass. "Good Noah. It's Al-lex, but we'll try it again when we get the door open.

She stepped forward and opened the door to find Alex waiting, smile on her face and bottle of white wine in her hand.

"Alex, good to see you," Olivia said. "Come in."

Noah just stared at the tall blonde woman, growing shy and clearly forgetting his instructions.

"Noah, what do you tell Al-lex?" Olivia stressed Alex's name again, hoping just maybe he'd get it right this time.

"Hi Lex," Noah said. He stuck his hand out to hand her hand like she had done the previous night. Alex's face lit up when he said her name, or tried, too. Olivia was relieved.

Alex bent down to Noah's level to shake his hand. "Hi, Noah. Did you and your Mom have fun today?"

"Yes," he said. "We play with paint."

"Ah," Alex said. She stood back up and looked at Olivia. "I see you went to the art studio today like I suggested."

"We did," she said. "And by the time we leave we'll have two interestingly decorated coin bowls to take home with us."

"A future family heirloom, I'm sure," Alex teased. "Something smells good."

"Oh!" Olivia said. "Yes, I need to get back to dinner before I burn the salmon."

Alex gave her an amused look, but followed the Olivia and Noah to the back patio where she saw Olivia checking the food on the grill and moving the rice off the stove.

"Wow," Alex said.

"I know," Olivia said. "I'd love to have a kitchen like this."

"Well, the outdoor kitchen is nice, too, but I was referring to Olivia Benson cooking something that didn't require a microwave," Alex teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'll have you know, I've turned into a pretty good cook, if I say so myself," Olivia said. "I had to learn once Noah started eating solid foods or else he'd think the delivery boy from the Chinese restaurant downstairs was his father."

Alex let out a hearty laugh, then found a seat nearby where Noah returned to playing. "Well, if it tastes half as good as it smells, I'll buy that," Alex said. "But until then, I'm reserving judgement." The two women laughed as Olivia moved to take the food off the grill.

"There is some pinot in the fridge, if you like," Olivia said. "I should be ready here in just a minute. Ok to eat on the table out here?"

"Of course," Alex said. "I'll get us some plates and silverware and bring the wine bottle. It looks like you could use a refill, too."

"Thank you," Olivia said. "And make sure you grab one of the plastic plates for Noah. There is one drying in the sink rack."

"Noah, do you want to go with me and help me with your plate and drink?" Alex asked the boy.

"Ok," he said, looking at Olivia.

"That ok?" Alex asked her.

"Of course," Olivia said. She went back to checking the fish to make sure it was done and set the rice on the table. She could hear parts of Alex and Noah's conversation in the house. She was asking him which drinking up he wanted and he of course, was having trouble settling on one.

A couple minutes later, Alex and Noah returned with the plates and Noah was carrying the blue sippy cup with dinosaurs.

"I poured him milk since that's what I think he was having at dinner last night," Alex said. "I hope that was right."

"It is," Olivia said. "Thank you. I see he decided on the dinosaur cup."

Alex smiled. "Well, he wasn't sure at first if he wanted that one, the puppy dog cup or the plain red one. But I told him how much I liked dinosaurs as a kid and he decided to go for that one."

"Dinosaurs? Alex Cabot liked dinosaurs?" Olivia questioned.

"Hey! I'll have you know I was quite the nerd," Alex said.

"Now that I can believe," Olivia said. "At least until you hit puberty. Then I'm sure you were the most popular kid in school."

Alex blushed at the subtle compliment and Olivia looked down. She wasn't sure where that came from, but with how easily they fell back into their routine and banter, it just seemed fitting. And it's not like Alex didn't already know she was beautiful. All of New York knew it.

"Let's eat," Olivia said, changing the subject and killing the awkwardness.

#

After dinner, Olivia excused herself to give Noah a bath, promising to return soon. While she was gone, Alex busied herself by cleaning up the dinner dishes. When she was done, she poured another glass of wine and grabbed a seat on the couch.

She had been as surprised as Olivia how natural everything was between them. It shouldn't be a surprise, she thought. They were almost always able to do that with all the comings and goings in and out of each other's' lives.

The only exception was the three-year period after witness protection when Alex didn't reach out to Olivia and Elliot or return their calls once they found out she was home. It had hurt Olivia more than Alex cared to remember, but eventually, they worked through it and the detective began to understand just how traumatized Alex felt after the Velez incident – even after she returned to her life.

"Lex!"

Alex turned around to see Noah running toward her. His hair was wet and combed to the side. He was also wearing dinosaur pajamas.

"Apparently, you've made quite the impression on him the last couple of days," Olivia said. "He insisted on wearing the dinosaur pajamas because 'Lex like dinosaurs.'"

"That's sweet," Alex said. "He's made quite an impression on me."

"Eventually, I'm sure he'll learn to say Alex and not Lex," Olivia said. "I'm sure that drives the Alexandra in you crazy."

"Actually…I don't mind it," Alex confessed. "My dad used to call me Lex when I was a kid. Or Lexie. He still throws it out there sometimes, but it's usually followed by a death glare."

"Ah yes," Olivia said. "The ice princess stare. I know it well."

Alex attempted to give it to Olivia just then, but failed because she couldn't stop smiling.

"Anyway, for someone as cute as Noah, I think I can make an exception," Alex said. "I never actually hated it. I kind of like it. But don't ever tell my dad that."

"I think your secret is safe with us…Lex," Olivia teased. She was immediately hit with a flying couch pillow. "I'm getting ready to put him to bed. Then I promise we can catch up. I'll take care of the dinner dishes later."

"Already done," Alex said. "You were busy and cooked such as amazing meal, I figured it was the least I could do."

"Oh, no jokes about my cooking skills now, huh?" Olivia said.

Alex shook her head. "Nope, never again."

#

After two bedtime stories, which Noah insisted Alex join them for, the two women retreated back to the living room and curled up on opposite ends of the couch facing each other.

"How have you been, Liv?" Alex asked once they were settled down and each had some wine in hand.

"Oh, what a loaded question," Olivia replied.

"I know you all caught the Muslim hate crime case," Alex said. "That must have been challenging."

"Oh, you have no idea," Olivia said. "Maybe we can talk more about it some other time, but for now, I just want to forget it for a while."

"I understand that feeling," Alex said.

"What about you? I hear rumors sometimes about your running for DA or for a judge seat," Olivia said. "I'm sure you'd be great at both, but I admit, I'd love to have someone like you in the DA city."

"I think about it," Alex said. "But everything you've heard is just rumors. Aside from conversations with my father, everything else is just speculation. I don't ever talk about it at the office. And yeah, I'm torn sometimes. I've always wanted to be DA, but sometimes I'd like to avoid the high-profile of the position. Not that judges get to hide under a rock, but for the most part, they get to operate more low-key."

"Well, either way, when the day comes, you'll have my vote," Olivia said.

They both sat quietly in silence for a bit. It wasn't uncomfortable for them; it never had been. However, finally Olivia spoke up.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Alex Cabot preferred the low-profile life to the high-profile life," Olivia said.

"Well, sometimes our priorities change," Alex said. "Ultimately, it won't be about what I want, but more about where I think I can make the most change for the good."

Olivia nodded and they shared another pause.

"So…can I ask a question?" Alex said slowly.

Olivia was sure she already knew the question, just based on Alex's careful tone. It was the careful questioning people, especially her squad, had done anytime they asked about Tucker.

"Tucker?" Olivia asked. Alex smiled and nodded. "Well, we dated for a while. About a year actually. Maybe a little longer. It's hard to say when it happened exactly. We didn't talk about it for a while until we were sure, and well, our hand was kind of forced."

"Oh, the sex-ring thing with the priest, right?" Alex asked. She'd heard that much.

Olivia nodded. "Anyway, I thought it was going somewhere. And I know Ed wanted it to. We went to Paris last summer. But, ultimately, we ended up being in different places. He was ready for retirement, and I still feel like I'm far from that. I mean, there's no reason it couldn't have worked, things just seemed off, and had been. So, we broke up. And well, that's that."

Alex was quiet, nodding along as Olivia walked.

"I'm sorry, you probably didn't want that full story," Olivia said. "I just, well, I don't really have many people to talk about it with and you just make things easier, talking, that is."

Alex smiled. "I have to say, I was quite surprised when I heard you were dating Tucker. I thought for sure I'd misunderstood what I was being told."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah, you're not the only one. But he's changed a lot. Heck, I've changed a lot. I guess that's part of getting older, huh? He's a good man, though. It just wasn't meant to be."

"Well, maybe you'll still find your happy ending," Alex said.

"I hope so," Olivia said. "But, I can't complain. I have a wonderful son. A meaningful job. Good friends. Good squad. I've been blessed."

Alex nodded and the two of them toasted to Olivia's blessed life.

"What about you? Has anyone swept you off your feet yet?" Olivia said.

"Oh, a bunch of failed relationships," Alex said. "I mean, there was the disastrous engagement to Robert, something I'd rather forget. But so far, I haven't yet found that person. But, like you, I have a lot to be thankful for. You know, I feel like a complete, content person, but I'd still like someone to share it all with. Whether I _need_ it or not, you know?"

"I do know," Olivia said.

After another hour of catching up and Alex hearing stories about Noah, she looked at the time and realized she should be getting home.

"I should let you get to bed and get home," Alex said.

"Are you ok to drive?" Olivia said. "There are like 1,500 bedrooms in this place. I'm sure we can find one for you."

"I'm actually just three houses down from you," Alex said. "I guess I forgot to tell you that. I walked here, so I'll walk home."

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Olivia said.

Alex reached out and touched Olivia's hand. "We're not in the city, Liv," Alex said. "It's a well-lit path and I'll text you as soon as I get there. It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes."

Olivia relaxed a little, but noticed the charge that went through her hand when Alex touched it. She wasn't used to physical contact unless it was with Noah or providing a hug to victim – at least since Tucker.

"Ok," Olivia said. "I had a really good time tonight. I'm so glad I ran into you last night."

"Likewise, Liv," Alex said. "Thanks for dinner. It was really great."

"Could I interest you in the beach tomorrow?" Olivia said. "Noah is now officially a beach bum."

"Are you sure I wouldn't be imposing?" Alex said.

"Not at all," Olivia said. "In fact, you'd be doing me a bit of a favor. I mean, Noah is smitten with you."

"Well, I'm smitten with him. His mom is pretty great, too," Alex said, giving Olivia a grin. The brunette blushed.

"Meet us about 11 tomorrow? I'll pack a picnic for us," Olivia said.

"It sounds perfect," Alex said.

Olivia walked Alex to the door and Alex turned to give her a goodbye hug. It lingered a little longer than normal. It felt good. Olivia had missed Alex and hadn't even realized how much.

"Goodnight, Liv," Alex said when she turned to leave.

"Goodnight, Lex," Olivia teased. Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes as she started out the door. "Don't forget to text when you get home."

#

 _Liv, thanks again for a wonderful evening. I'm home safely._

Olivia smiled and responded in-kind. Telling Alex she would see her tomorrow. She then went and laid down. She wasn't sure if it was from having too much wine, or what, but she began to think about the hug with Alex, and the hand touch. It made her feel…something.

It wasn't a completely unfamiliar feeling. Olivia was self-aware enough to realize she had feelings back when they worked together after Alex joined SVU the first time. That chemistry had always kind of followed them. She was also pretty sure Alex had felt something, too. But Olivia had never dated a woman, not really at least. That said, she'd never been opposed to it. She definitely found women attractive. But in her limited dating history, dating a woman just hadn't happened. She wasn't sure what Alex's history was, but to her knowledge, she was straight.

"Get it together, Benson," Olivia said to herself. She pushed aside the old feelings and memories, and chalked whatever she was feeling tonight to the wine.

Still, she couldn't help but smile when she thought about spending the next day with Noah and 'Lex.'

* * *

 _A/N:_ _I try to write these characters age-appropriate, so even though most of my stories are angst-filled, given that Liv and Alex are pushing 50 in this fic (canon says they were both born in 1968ish), you can assume there won't be as much of the hard-headedness of what one could expect from a much younger Olivia and Alex._

 _I expect this to be a smoother, more mature relationship. But, you know, I hope I'll at least keep you on your toes. But for now, they are getting reacquainted, moving slow. But, they'll get there...otherwise, what's the point of the story, right? :-)_

I will get back to Noah series, and the prequel to it, but needed a break from the Maggie stuff. New season coming, so fresh ideas.

 _# As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	3. Storm Coming

_A/N:Glad you're still enjoying this. Thanks for feedback. Still moving slow, but progressing._

* * *

 **STORM COMING**

Alex woke up early the next morning. It had taken her longer than usual to fall asleep because she was thinking about her evening with Olivia and Noah.

Of course, she'd had a good time getting reacquainted with an old friend, but there was something more than that. She thought about how easy it was for them to fall back into their casual banter or even to talk about serious things. Alex didn't have many friends like that, but had always appreciated that about Olivia.

Seeing Olivia with Noah, though, brought out this entirely new side of her. Alex always knew Liv wanted to be a mother, and knew she would be great at it. She was so protective of victims. But watching her gentleness with Noah, the smile the boy put on Olivia's face, blew Alex away. Olivia was finally happy, at least mostly. Alex knew she deserved it, too. After everything she had been through – her rapist father, her mother's addiction, the things she experienced working SVU, William Lewis, losing a squad member – Olivia Benson deserved happiness more than anyone Alex knew.

As Alex sipped her coffee, still in her robe and thumbing through the newspaper, she tried not to think of what Olivia had meant to her at one point in their lives. How head-over-heels she had been for the young Detective Benson. How, even after her return to SVU after witness protection, even the more seasoned detective knew just how to push every one of her buttons and still make Alex weak in the knees.

Love? Alex wasn't sure about that. But had she not been such a coward about being openly gay when she was younger, she would have pursued it and found out. Now was different, though. Alex hadn't had a reason to publicly broadcast her sexuality, but she wasn't afraid of it anymore, of what it would do to her career. She no longer cared.

But if there had ever been anything between Olivia and her, Alex figured that window had long since closed. And even if Alex felt Olivia was the kind of person who would be open to dating a woman, recent history had established her has straight. That wasn't something Alex wanted to fight with.

Alex finished her coffee and pushed the thoughts from her head. It was all crazy thoughts anyway. She'd seen Olivia twice in the past two years. Catching up was great, but she assumed when they returned to the city, life would go back to like it was before – two women who could have had something a long time ago, going about their separate lives in a city of more than 8 million.

#

"Ok, Noah, don't wander too far away," Olivia said. "I don't want you too close to the water unless I'm there with you."

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said, scooping sand in his pail and finding a spot next to Olivia's blanket.

"We'll go splash in the water in just a little while," Olivia said.

Noah didn't look up, he just kept his head down, focused on moving sand from one pile to another pile three inches away.

Alex had texted and said she was running a few minutes later, so Olivia grabbed one of the books she had packed. She anticipated Alex would be late. It was something about the ADA only people who spent time with her outside of work knew about her – she was always late. Maybe not always, but often enough it had become a joke between them. Olivia had even been known to tell Alex to meet her 15 minutes earlier than she needed to so that when Alex got there about 10 minutes later, they would still be on time for the movies or a dinner reservation.

Alex was never late at work and definitely not to court. But outside of the office, Olivia could always expect Alex to run about 10 to 15 minutes behind, usually with a phone call and good excuse, though.

Olivia was a few pages deep in her when she heard Noah's voice.

"Lex!" he yelled to Olivia.

Olivia turned her head saw Alex walking toward her in a bright blue bikini, a sheer cover-up over top of it. The brunette didn't even notice that her jaw had dropped several inches as she took in the beauty of Alex – even at "almost 50." Of course, the smile that ran across Alex's face from ear to ear on hearing Noah yell her name was the final nail in the coffin for Olivia.

"Sweet Jesus," Olivia muttered to herself, then tried to regain her composure.

"Hey, Noah, Olivia," Alex said. "I'm sorry I'm running late."

"I'm building sand castle," Noah said, pointing to the mounds of sand below him.

"I see that," Alex said. "You look like you're doing a good job, too."

Noah returned to his building and Olivia grinned before looking at her watch, then up at Alex.

"11:10," Olivia said. "I see somethings haven't changed."

"Hey! I'll have you know I was early last night," Alex said. "I've gotten…betterish."

Olivia chuckled. "So, what was the excuse this time?"

"I uh, got distracted and time slipped away," Alex said. "No good excuse this time."

"Uh huh," Olivia said.

Alex had been distracted, but it was less that time slipped away and more that she spent it trying to figure out what to wear. She put on the blue bathing suit, then though maybe she should wear a one-piece suit, after all, she wasn't trying to impress Olivia or anyone else. Low-key was good.

She put on the one-piece black bathing suit, but had forgotten how had some padding in the breast area, making her breasts look much bigger than they were. That wasn't the message she wanted to send either.

Then she changed into a tank top and shorts. She just wouldn't get in the water. That would be completely fine, she thought. But then she remembered Olivia saying how much Noah loved the water. She knew he'd want to get in, and if he asked her to come in, she didn't want to spend the afternoon in wet clothes, or not get in and let the boy down.

Eventually, she returned to the blue suit. It would be what she would wear if she was going to the beach alone, so it's what she should wear. She didn't want to put too much effort into her attire, even though she'd spend the better part of 45 minutes doing just that.

Alex took a seat in the beach chair next to Olivia and pulled out her Kindle. Olivia gave her a strange look.

"I would have never pegged you for a Kindle girl," Olivia said. "What happened to 'I just love the feel and smell of real books?'"

Alex shook her head. "I do, but you know I'm also very indecisive about what I want to read," she said. "The older I get, the less inclined I am to carry around half a dozen books with me when I go away. Besides, I can increase the text on the Kindle screen."

"That would be helpful," Olivia said. "I'm struggling between the need to keep my reading glasses on and put on my nonprescription sunglasses."

"What book are you reading?" Alex asked, nodding to the book in Olivia's hand.

" _Against All Odds,_ " Olivia said. "It's the new Danielle Steele book."

"Wait. Stop," Alex said quickly. "Olivia Benson. Lieutenant Olivia Benson reasons Danielle Steele books? Cheese romance novels? Am I hearing this right?"

"Oh, shut up," Olivia said. "We all have our vices. But, in the case of these books, I always buy the new one and read it. My mom was a huge fan. Read them for as long as I could remember until she died. I never read them until several years ago, when I was going through some of her books, some of the few things I kept of hers besides family stuff. Anyway, I sat down and read one and I didn't hate it. It kind of made me feel connected to her. So, I just kept reading. I'll probably never get through them all, but when she has a new one out, I'll buy it and read it, because I know my mom would have."

"That's…wow," Alex said. "I can understand that. I do the same thing with things my mom did. I even took up crochet for a while in witness protection after my mom died because it was something she did to relax. I was terrible at it, but it helped."

"I still find it a little amusing that my mother, the English professor, read these books, but I guess we all need an escape sometimes," Olivia said. "What about you? What are you reading?"

"Ah, I'm reading _Lilac Girls_ ," Alex said. "It's about these three women during World War II."

"So serious, Cabot," Olivia teased. "Do you ever relax these days?"

"I'll have you know I read the entire Harry Potter series for the first time last year," Alex said. "It was my secret weekend pleasure."

"I don't know if I'm more shocked you've never read them or that you found time to read all of them last year on top of all of your work," Olivia said.

"Hey, when I put my mind to something, look out," Alex said. "J.K. Rowling's 900 page books has nothing on me."

Olivia laughed. "Don't I know it."

#

The three of them got in the water for a while before having a late lunch, then did more playing until Noah was completely worn out and cranky. His mood had been good most of the day except for when he got salt water in his eyes and cried momentarily until Alex took him to the beach shower area and let him rinse it out.

Olivia's hands were full, but Noah was pitching a fit because he said he was too tired to walk.

"Honey, Mommy and Alex both have our hands full," Olivia said. "Can you walk just for a bit? It's not far."

Noah whined more and dragged his feet alone.

"How about this," Alex offered. "If you can take this bag, I think I can strap this one around me and carry him."

"You don't have to do that," Olivia said. "He's not that light."

"It's not that far, remember?" Alex grinned. "Besides, after all that fruit and big sandwich for lunch, I could use the exercise."

"Yeah, right," Olivia said. "Ok, fine. But I'm warning you. If he's too heavy, I'll take him."

#

Olivia was right. Noah was heavier than he looked, but Alex didn't complain. Noah had his arms wrapped around her neck, holding on as they made their way back to the house. When they got inside, Olivia insisted, despite Noah's protest, he have a bath before he takes a nap. At least enough to shower off all the sand. She knew he probably had it in every nook and crazy and she was right – he did.

"If you want to hang around for a bit, I shouldn't be too long," Olivia said.

"Only if you want," Alex said. "I know you're probably tired, too."

"I'd like it if you stayed," Olivia said.

Those words made Alex a little weak as she nodded in agreement. It took her right back to the place she had been last night and this morning, the place she didn't want to go.

A few minutes later, Noah and Olivia returned. "He wanted to tell you goodnight before he took a nap," Olivia said. "Even though I told him I hoped you'd still be here when he woke up. I mean, unless you have plans, we'd love for you to join us for dinner, too."

"No plans," Alex said. She gave Noah a hug and for him to have a good nap. She promised she'd see him when he woke up later.

Olivia put Noah to bed and returned to the living room where Alex had poured them both a glass of wine. She had changed into some shorts and a t-shirt she packed in her back exactly for this scenario.

"He'll probably sleep for a while," Olivia said. "He was pretty worn out from the playing, the water and the sun."

"You look pretty tired yourself," Alex said. "I was thinking, if I'm staying for dinner, why don't you let me cook tonight since you cooked last night?"

"You sure about that?" Olivia said. "I mean, you're the guest here."

"And you're on vacation," Alex said. "Besides, when my place is three houses down, I don't think it constitutes as a guest. Please, let me cook for you, Liv. I haven't caught a kitchen on fire in years."

Olivia laughed. "Ok, dinner is all yours."

#

After a short time of talking while watching the news and flipping through channels, Alex started dinner and Noah woke up shortly before it was done. Once again, the three of them ate outside as the watched storm clouds roll in and listened to thunder off in the distance.

When the rain and wind started, and it began blowing in through the screen on the patio, they moved their conversation inside to finish dessert. Noah watched outside carefully. He didn't like storms – never had. Olivia wasn't sure why. The kid could sleep through a nuclear explosion, she was sure of it. He certainly had grown used to the sounds of the city. But the first clap of thunder and lightning and he always tensed up. It was something that was foreign to Olivia as she loved storms, as long as people were safe and nothing was damaged.

Olivia looked over and saw Alex scrolling through weather alerts on her phone. She remembered Alex hated storms, too. She didn't like them before witness protection, but after she returned, Olivia remembered Alex telling her how much she hated them.

After Wisconsin, when she was relocated to another new identity, she was sent to Georgia. Just a month after Alex had been in New York, testifying against Connors, she was witness to a deadly tornado outbreak that spanned the southeast part of the country. The two-day period saw 26 tornados and one death. Alex happened to be living in the part of Georgia that got the worst of it, near Donalsonville, on the Alabama, Florida border. She was in a brand-new place with no friends, no support system, and dealing with something she'd rarely had to deal with living in New York, at least not to that intensity.

"You gonna be ok?" Olivia asked as the thunder and wind intensified.

"Yeah, I keep telling myself I'm not in Georgia or Wisconsin," Alex said.

"Mommy, why is it storming'?" Noah asked.

"Sometimes the sky has to get some bad stuff out," Olivia said. "You know how sometimes you get sick and we have to blow your nose and all that gross stuff out of your nose?"

"Uh huh," Noah said.

"Well, let's just say it's kind of like that," Olivia said.

Alex was cracking up listening to Olivia try to explain it to him, even if it was ridiculous. High pressures and low pressures wouldn't make sense to a kid anyway. Heck, Alex didn't even understand it all. She just knew, like Noah, she didn't like storms.

"I'm scared of storms, too," Alex said gently.

"You are?" he asked, wide eyed.

"Yep," Alex said. "But I'm not worried because, just like you, I know your mommy is here to keep us safe. As long as we stay inside, I think we'll be fine."

"Mommy lets me sleep with her when I'm scared of storms," Noah said.

"Speaking of sleep, it's your bedtime, young man," Olivia said. "You had a full day and I'm sure we'll have a big day tomorrow, too."

"Aww," Noah said. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, but I'll tell you what," Olivia said. "Since it's storming, you can sleep in my room tonight. But, you have to go to bed now and I'll come in later when it's my bedtime."

Noah was agreeable and after a bedtime story from Alex, he drifted right off to sleep with no whining or complaining.

"When do you have to get back to the city?" Olivia asked after Noah was all tucked in and asleep.

"Unfortunately, I have to leave around lunch time tomorrow for an afternoon meeting," Alex said.

"Oh." Olivia was disappointed and it was apparent, even if it wasn't Alex's fault. "Um, maybe we could have breakfast before you go?"

"That sounds good," Alex said. "I…um…I've enjoyed our time this week, Liv. I was actually thinking, I don't technically have to be in the office the rest of the week after my meeting. Most of what I have to do can be done anywhere and the DA's office owes me some time off. Maybe, I could come back for a few days until you leave. I mean, I don't want to hijack your vacation—."

"You're not," Olivia said quickly before Alex could finish. "I would love that. And well, Noah would love that, too." Olivia wasn't sure what was happening or what it meant, she just knew she enjoyed Alex's company and didn't want them to drift apart like they had before.

"Then it's settled," Alex said. "I'll go to my meeting and either drive back tomorrow night or the next morning. And…thank you, Liv. I've really enjoyed our time together this week."

"Me, too," Olivia said.

No sooner were the words out of Olivia's mouth than a clap of lightning and thunder came. The lights flickered for a moment before going out completely. Alex jumped slightly and Olivia reached out for her hand in the dark to calm her.

"I'm ok," Alex said. "I'm sorry. I was just startled."

"It's ok," Olivia said. "I should check on Noah."

"While you do that, I'll look for some candles," Alex said. "We don't lose power out here often, but when we do, it usually takes a while to come back on unless it comes right away."

When Olivia returned from checking on Noah, Alex had some candles lit and on the coffee table. She also was able to find a flashlight.

"He must be completely worn out," Olivia said. "He looks like he hasn't moved since he fell asleep. That's a good thing. I figured as loud as the rain is, it would keep him awake."

The two women sat in the candlelit room and talked. The time passed by quickly. What seemed like minutes was a couple of hours before they realized it. The power was still out and it was still raining.

"I hope the rain calms down soon," Alex said. "Otherwise I'm going to get drenched going home."

"Oh! I forgot you walked to the beach and then came back here," Olivia said.

"I had forgotten, too," Alex laughed.

"Well, you can't go in the rain and it's getting late," Olivia said. "I can drive you."

"Um, Noah?"

"Oh, of course," Olivia said. "I mean, I could probably pack him to the car. He may not even wake up."

"Nonsense," Alex said. "I'll either walk or call an Uber."

"You're going to call an Uber to take you three doors down?" Olivia said, amused at the thought.

"Well, you told me I couldn't walk in the rain," Alex said, smirking. "Apparently, I'm so sweet I might melt."

Olivia nearly melted at Alex's words and flirty tone.

"Do you have a better idea?" Alex continued.

"Well, you could…stay here," Olivia said, cautiously.

She had made the same offer the previous night when she thought Alex was driving home after several glasses of wine, not realizing Alex had walked because it was close enough. But tonight, the offer seemed to be riskier, almost. The air between them was different somehow.

"I mean, we are having breakfast, and there's no sense in you getting wet," Olivia said.

Alex pursed her lips at the word _wet._ She'd probably had too much wine again, and couldn't stop her thoughts from the brunette, but she managed to contain any emotion hiding the thoughts the word had conjured up. It had been a long time since she thought of Olivia like that, and Alex wasn't sure it was a road she was prepared to wander down – at least in thought – again.

"Ok," Alex whispered. "I'll stay."

* * *

 _A/N: I know someone will ask - NO - they're not hopping in bed right away. Remember, mature Liv and Alex :-) I'll have another chapter or so on vacation, then we'll see what becomes when they're back in the city and life gets busier._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	4. Taking Chances

_A/N: This chapter is about 3,800 words; a little longer than most in this fic. But we get through a lot, and I think you'll like this one :-)_

 _Thanks all the reviews. This story is making me happy._

* * *

 **TAKING CHANCES**

About two hours into the night, there was still no power in the house, but a loud boom woke everyone up – including Noah.

"Mommy, what is that?" he asked.

"It's thunder, baby," she said. "Just try to go back to sleep." More thunder rang out and Oliva saw weather alerts blowing up her phone. A few moments later, there was a tap on the bedroom door.

"Come in," Olivia said.

Alex opened the door slightly. "I thought I heard voices," she said. "Did the storm wake you all, too?"

"It sure did," Olivia said. "And based on what my phone is telling me, it's not going to be stopping anytime soon."

"Mommy, can Lex sleep with us?" Noah asked. "So she's not scared."

"Buddy, I think I'll be ok," Alex said, smiling, but Noah whined in returned.

"Pleassssseeeee, Mommy?" Noah said. Alex gave Olivia a grimace, unsure how to respond.

"Noah, adults usually don't share beds like you and Mommy do sometimes," Olivia said. "Alex probably wants her own bed."

"But you and Tuck share bed," Noah said. Olivia's eyes got wide and Alex's face fell. It was one thing she hadn't really considered much.

"Well, Noah, that was …" Olivia paused. She was going to say different, and it was…but, something stopped her. "You know how when Lucy stays with us, she sleeps on the couch and not in Mommy's bed." That was a good example, Olivia thought to herself. "It's like that."

"But Lucy is my friend. Lex is Mommy's friend," Noah said.

"Three year olds," Olivia said as an uncomfortable Alex looked on. "What can you do?"

Alex laughed a little, and continued to stay quiet and let Olivia handle the situation. All of a sudden, her face lit up.

"I have a great idea, Noah," Olivia said. "How about me, you and Alex make a bed in the living room. That way we all have enough space."

It was a little less like sharing a bed, Olivia thought. She looked to Alex, who nodded in agreement.

"Okay!" Noah exclaimed and rolled out of bed, running past Alex to the living room.

Alex stepped and helped Olivia gather up some blankets and pillows. "I think I saw an air mattress in the closet," Olivia said. "But, just so you know, you can sleep in your bed if you want. I'm sure he'll be back to sleep in no time."

"Liv, it's fine," Alex said. "It'll be fun; like a slumber party."

"Have you ever had a slumber party with a toddler?" Olivia asked, rolling her eyes. "It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"I'm good with it, I promise," Alex said. "In fact, I was getting a little freaked out by the storms anyway, so it'll probably make me feel safer, too, knowing you are there." She gave Olivia a soft smile. Generally, she would qualify that statement, make it sound like she didn't quite mean it like it could be taken. But she didn't. For once, Alex just let her words speak for her.

"Well, then, I'm glad I can help," Olivia said. They took the armloads of pillows and blankets and headed toward the door. "Hey, Alex, I'm sorry about Noah bringing up Ed like that. He liked Ed a lot."

"It's ok, Liv," Alex said. "He's three. I'm sure he doesn't understand a lot of different types of relationships yet."

"Yeah…maybe," Olivia said. _Or maybe Noah saw something we haven't yet_. "Anyway, I can't believe how much he's taken to you. He has never done this with anyone."

"Even Tucker, er, I mean Ed," Alex asked.

"He warmed up to him pretty quickly," Olivia said. "Surprisingly, Ed is really good with kids. Who'd have thought? Anyway, they bonded pretty quickly, but it still took him a few times of meeting him to start asking about him."

"Well, he would have been younger then, too," Alex offered.

"Yeah, or maybe you have something Ed doesn't have," Olivia said smiling, almost flirting again.

#

Once a bed was made in the living room, Olivia and Noah laid on the air mattress and Alex laid right behind them on the couch. Olivia had been right, it didn't take long for Noah to fall asleep again. The storm had calmed, but Olivia knew the worst of it wasn't over yet.

About an hour and a half later, a loud bolt of lightning, followed by thunder, send Alex jumping off the couch and onto the air mattress, landing right on Olivia. Noah laughed when he understood what happened.

"I want Lex to sleep next to me," Noah said as Alex was sitting back up. "Ok, Mommy."

Olivia shrugged. "If she wants to, that is ok," Olivia said. "I'll take her spot on the couch and keep an eye on the two of you."

"No, Mommy," Noah said. "I want you to sleep with me, too."

Alex watched as Olivia's mouth opened to come up with a good reason why, in a way Noah could understand. But before Olivia could speak, Alex did.

"Liv, it's ok," Alex said. "I'm not uncomfortable at all if you aren't."

Olivia relaxed a little bit. "No, I'm not," she said. Everyone agreed and Alex laid down on one side of Noah, Olivia on the other.

It wasn't exactly the way Olivia imagined her first time sharing a bed with Alex Cabot would be – not that she had imagined that in a very long time. However, for this particular moment, it was perfect.

#

The following morning, Alex woke up to Noah's arm draped across her. Olivia was already up and cooking breakfast, at least that's what it smelled like. Alex carefully pulled away from Noah and made her way to the kitchen. She stopped before she got there and took everything in.

Olivia was in the kitchen, hair was messy, wearing pajamas. Sipping coffee and sleepily flipping pancakes. Noah was zonked out in the living room. All of a sudden, Alex had a vision of a life she never knew she wanted. A life she never really imagined – even back in the day with Olivia.

She stood speechless watching the brunette cooking breakfast. A woman she had known 17 years and who had always been more beautiful than she gave her own self credit for. Alex was breathless. Olivia - the mother, the cook, the Lieutenant, the almost 50 but still a badass, the champion for victims, the fearless woman standing in the kitchen – was the most stunning and beautiful thing Alex had ever laid eyes on.

In one instant, what took months, years even, getting over, all came flooding back to Alex in a single second. Everything Alex had felt for Olivia in the past, the feelings she pushed away, came rushing to the forefront, perhaps even stronger than before.

Their lives had changed drastically.

Olivia was now the commander of SVU. She was known throughout the NYPD and throughout the country for her work advocating for victims and against sex crimes. She was a mother. She had put herself out there in relationships. She had been through hell and back, and survived it all. She could go anywhere and do anything she wanted, but NYC was where Olivia had chosen to stay, despite it all when others would have fled.

Alex was an Executive ADA and bureau chief. She was one of the top contenders to run for the DA seat next go-round. She had worked in the Congo for ICC. She knew she could have a job anywhere she wanted – U.S. Attorney – whatever it was. She had done all of that, things she never imagined, despite having her life ripped away by Cesar Velez and Liam Connors. She too decided NYC was her home. She didn't want to work in Albany or D.C. or anywhere else. She wanted to fight her justice in her own backyard – even if everyone in the city knew every detail about the most horrible experience of her life in getting shot.

They were completely different people than when they met. Their roads both went in ways they didn't expect or even could have imagined. Yet, after all of that, here they were, 17 years later still surviving storms.

"Alex?"

Alex shook her head. She hadn't realized Olivia was talking to her. When Olivia finally realized she had her attention, she smiled at the blonde.

"Something sure had you deep in thought," Olivia teased. "I was asking if you like chocolate chips in your pancakes like Noah."

"Sure," Alex said. "Sorry, I was still asleep."

"Really? Cause the smile you had on your face said otherwise," Olivia teased.

"Maybe I smile when I sleep," Alex joked backed.

"Hm, well, if Noah has his way, I may get another chance to find out if you end up driving back tonight," Olivia said. "We're supposed to get another round of storms."

"You and Noah, so presumptuous," Alex teased. "Anyway, what can I do to help?"

"Well, there is coffee ready for you," Olivia said. "And if you want some fruit with your pancakes, I think there is some in the fridge. I was going to cut up some bananas."

#

After breakfast, Alex set on her way back to the city for a meeting. She was planning to drive back out after it was over, depending on how the weather was.

Olivia cleaned up the makeshift beds from the night before and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Her and Noah had just started to watch some cartoons when there was a knock on the door, and the sound of Claire's voice. It was a rainy day, so they had plans to stay inside for the day.

"Claire, good to see you," Olivia said, greeting her at the door. Claire had stopped by for a couple minutes each day just to check in on Olivia and Noah.

"Did you and Noah survive the storms ok?" Claire asked.

"We did," Olivia said. "Alex Cabot actually stayed with us, too. She got caught here in the rain and it never did let up." Olivia had already mentioned to Claire about running into Alex their first night there. Claire was happy Olivia had a friend in town.

"Alex is such a sweetheart," Claire said. "I'm glad the two of you have had an opportunity to spend time together then. How long did you say you'd know each other?"

"Oh, about 17 years I guess," Olivia said. "We hadn't really talked or seen each other in a while before. Life gets in the way sometimes."

"Well, I imagine you and Alex have experienced more of dark side of life than most," Claire said. Olivia presumed Claire was talking about Mike Dodd's death, since she was close with the Chief. Of course, everyone knew about the ADA who came back from the dead. It was possible, Olivia figured, Claire could know about William Lewis, too, due to the publicity of it.

"Yeah, I guess we have," Olivia said.

"And you're still friends," Claire said. "Even if you don't see each other every day, that's important. I saw the two of you at the beach yesterday for a bit, you seemed very comfortable together."

"We are," Olivia said.

"I always hoped Alex would find a nice woman, someone who could make her smile and want to enjoy life instead of fighting all the time," Claire said. She didn't explain her comment, and Olivia was a little caught off guard by the mention of Alex finding a woman.

In all the years they had known each other, it was the one thing they hadn't discussed about themselves personally. Though, for Olivia, she never mentioned it because it was almost the elephant in the room. That somehow, if she brought it up, she would have had to admit her feelings for Alex. And back then, Olivia wasn't ready for something like that.

"Maybe you both will…find someone, that is," Claire said, then she shook her head. "Look at me, talking about things that aren't my business."

"No, it's fine," Olivia said.

"Anyway, if you don't need anything, I'm going to get going," Claire said. "I will see you tomorrow, Lord willing."

When she left, Olivia sat down and tried to process the new information.

If Claire knew Alex was gay, it couldn't be a huge secret. Olivia supposed, career-wise, it wouldn't matter as much to Alex now as it would have then. That was another reason, for both of them, Olivia never mentioned it to Alex back before witness protection. It would have been uncomfortable for them both – and for something they had no way of knowing would even be worth it.

But here they were, over a decade later and things had changed.

Olivia understood why Alex hadn't said anything. She'd never told Alex about the times she dated women. It had been a long time, but it just never quite came up since. She wondered if Alex knew how she felt back then – or what she had been fighting off now.

It had only been a few days. Olivia couldn't know if she had feelings for Alex, or likewise. And, of course, dating – if Alex was even interested – wasn't something Olivia took lightly anymore, not with Noah in the picture.

But they did have a history. Not a romantic history per se, but a history. The flirty banter. The desperate stares. The hugs that lasted a bit too long. It wasn't like they were strangers.

Alex had been a road not taken for Olivia, but she had looked down that path. It didn't look anything like their lives now.

At 48, Olivia knew far too well how short life was. She had learned that even more during the past few years, especially after Mike's death. It's why she encouraged Nick to go to LA to be near his kids. It's why she gave a shot at her and Ed Tucker. It's why she didn't hesitate to shoot the former police officer who held a gun to Carisi's head. She hated doing it, but she wasn't going to wait and risk losing another squad member. Yes, the older Olivia took far more chances than younger Olivia. Not risky behavior ones, but chances on people and chances on happiness.

When Alex got back from her trip to the city, Olivia was going to take a chance. She didn't know how it would turn out, but she did know that doors long-closed didn't usually reopen themselves. Maybe there was a reason for it, this time. She wasn't going to pass it up.

#

Alex texted after her meeting. It was supposed to storm, but she should miss the worst of it. Olivia told her to come on over when she got back, that she would save some dinner for them. Alex said she'd be there once she got into town and stopped at her Dad's to change out of "lawyer clothes." She would have normally changed after her meeting, before the drive, but she wanted to miss the storm.

Alex had made up her mind on her drive into the city that morning, and was still settled on her drive back. She was going to talk to Olivia. She had no idea if Olivia would be interested in dating a woman, much less her. They had their friendship to consider, but Alex was going to put it out there. No longer would the elephant be in the room. If Olivia rejected her, so be it, but at least she would know.

Of course, Alex hadn't settled on when and how she was going to talk to Olivia. There was Noah to consider, and their friendship. Also, the fact that all this had come up so suddenly for Alex. She didn't want to rush Olivia. She would let the week play out and when they got back in the city, she'd invite Olivia out and talk to her.

The drive back didn't go as smoothly as Alex wanted. The rain caused slower drivers, debris in the road and a few fender benders. By the time she got back to the Hamptons, she was sure the dinner Olivia cooked for her was long since cold. She sent a text to Olivia while stopped at the last accident, to let her know where she was and so Olivia wouldn't worry, since the brunette had already sent a couple of texts checking on her; all with the disclaimer that she knew she was driving and not to text and drive.

Alex smiled when she finally read it. It was a good feeling to know someone besides her dad was worried about her. She went ahead and went straight to Olivia's when she arrived, hoping she'd catch Noah before his bedtime.

When Olivia opened the door, Alex was drenched from just the short walk to the door. She had left her umbrella in New York.

"I thought you were going to change," Olivia questioned, when she saw Alex in what looked like court attire. "Not that I'm complaining. You look great."

Alex blushed. "Thank you," she said. "I wouldn't normally wear this unless I was in court, but the meeting today was with the DA and some city officials. Anyway, I wanted to catch Noah before bedtime. Am I too late?"

"Well, I just finished his story and turned the light out," Olivia said. "But chances are, he's still awake. Feel free to tell him goodnight. He was disappointed he didn't see you tonight."

Alex's heart melted thinking about Noah missing her. She set her bag down and hurried down the hallway to Noah's room. She quickly told him goodnight and promised she'd see him the next day. When she returned to the living room, Olivia had heated up her dinner and brought it out, with a glass of wine.

"I figured you would be hungry after a long drive," Olivia said. "And after driving through this mess, you deserve some wine."

"I could drink the whole bottle," Alex said. "Though, I can't, otherwise I won't be able to drive home tonight."

Olivia felt a little twinge at the realization Alex wasn't staying again. Of course, it made sense she wouldn't be. She decided to play it off.

"You mean you didn't have fun at our living room sleepover last night?" Oliva said, feigning hurt.

"I actually had a blast, minus the storms," Alex said.

"We may be in for another round," Olivia said. "So, I mean, in all seriousness, if you want, drink up. I know I wouldn't mind the company."

"Ok," Alex said. "But only if you have a glass with me." Olivia agreed and retrieve a glass for herself.

"How was your meeting? It was with the DA you said?" Olivia asked when she returned. She hadn't quite worked up the courage to talk to Alex yet. She was hoping the wine would help.

Alex nodded. "Yes, and the mayor and several other leaders," Alex said. "It was all about the opioid epidemic. People are overdosing left and right. In one city in the south, there was over 150 in a 4-day period. It's being laced with stuff. It's just harder to know here because there are so many people in New York City, even in Manhattan, it's hard to see spikes when there are so many people scattered out through so many hospitals. But, we have some stats now and hospital workers are seeing it more and more. Often in spurts, which means a shipment or something that was laced, has just come in."

"Wow. Yeah, I've been reading about it," Olivia said. "It's scary. Why exactly did the DA pull you in on it?"

"Well, he's considering a new task force between our office, the NYPD, the hospitals, nonprofit groups. Something to specifically target where the stuff is coming from," Alex said.

"Alex, that sounds…" Olivia wanted to say dangerous, but she also knew that was part of both of their jobs.

"It's not as dangerous as it sounds," Alex said. "And I promise, it's not going to be a repeat of Cesar Velez. I learned my lesson and I think so did the DA's office. While we're going to be working with the city resources, all the prosecution and arrests are going to be handled through DEA, FBI and the U.S. Attorney's office. My role is more strategic and counsel."

"Ok," Olivia said. "That makes me feel better."

"There will probably be an announcement in the coming weeks, or month, I'm not sure yet," Alex said. "But, I guess it's a good sign the DA picked me, of everyone, to head this up. I would have thought one of the ADAs who worked more with vice would do it."

"It just goes to show he trusts you," Olivia said. "And he should. You're brilliant."

"No need to flatter me, Liv," Alex said. "I'm already spending the night with you."

Both women blushed at Alex's comment. She hadn't meant to say it out loud, but again she wasn't going to qualify it or make excuses.

Olivia took a deep breath and sat her wine glass down.

"Actually, that kind of is a good segue into something I wanted to talk to you about," Olivia said.

Alex set her wine glass down, too, and took a deep breath. She hoped she hadn't crossed a line, but she was nervous.

"Alex, I…I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it," Olivia started it. "I think I am developing feelings for you."

"You...what?" Alex said. She was thrilled, but it wasn't what she was expecting.

"I'm sorry if this makes things weird. I know we're friends. I know we rarely see each other. I know I just got out of a relationship a few months back. But, these past few days have been great," Olivia said. "In fact, I think they kind of rekindled old feelings I had for you. Feelings that took me awhile to get over."

"You…wait, you had feelings for me? You do now?" Alex said.

Now it was Olivia's turn to panic as Alex hadn't said one way or the other how she felt. She just kept asking questions. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe it was too soon."

Alex quickly reached out for Olivia's hand, sensing the brunette was about to get up and pace – something Alex knew Olivia did when she was nervous.

"Liv, it's ok," Alex said. "I'm just surprised. And…I feel the same way. About all of it."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	5. Let's Try

_A/N: Super short update here, but just wanted them to finish their conversation and not leaving you hanging. I'll have more time Monday for a more full update. We'll get back to the city in the next chapter I think, where the real test will begin._

 _Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you all are enjoying it, and especially happy to see new readers/commenters._

* * *

 **LET'S TRY**

" _Liv, it's ok," Alex said. "I'm just surprised. And…I feel the same way. About all of it."_

"You…you do?" Olivia asked.

"I do," Alex said. "It's all I've been thinking about the past day or so. And I also had some feelings I buried from long ago."

Olivia started laughing suddenly and Alex gave her a confused look.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked.

"I'm just thinking…after all this time, I had no idea how you felt back them. I mean, I thought about it, hoped about it, but I never in a million years believed it was real," Olivia said.

"Well, I was too chicken shit to say anything," Alex said. "I wasn't even sure if you were interested in women."

"Likewise," Olivia said. "Aren't we a mess?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Alex said. "I mean, sometimes things work out like they are supposed to. Maybe back then it would have been a disaster."

"Who's not to say it still won't be?" Olivia teased.

"Good point," Alex smiled and laughed.

"But, no, in all seriousness," Olivia said "I think you're right. Maybe we both had to grow, go through some stuff to get here. I mean, 17 years later and we're still able to do this, talk, so effortlessly."

"You're probably right," Alex said. "So…what does that mean for us now?"

"Well, I have a son," Olivia said.

"And you have to be careful with relationships around him," Alex said.

"Yes," Olivia said. "I mean, as you can tell, he still talks about Ed. It was hard on Noah, but we both made an effort there. Ed made a point to see him, hang out, and eventually, slowly, kind of tapered off. But I mean, he's still someone who was important to Noah. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I don't want him to get used to someone in his life that won't be there. I want to be cautious."

"I understand that, Liv," Alex said. "And I will do whatever I need to do."

"I mean, he's already pretty attached to you," Olivia said. "So, I guess we'll have to come up with a plan for when we're back in the city. Time for us to figure out…well, us before we bring Noah into the mix too much."

"I would like that very much," Alex said. "And I think it's a wise plan. You and I need to figure out what these feelings mean separate from Noah. Don't get me wrong, he's adorable, but I agree, we should figure out us, first."

"So, when we're back in the city we'll go on a date," Olivia said. "Without Noah."

"I can't believe this is actually happening, Liv," Alex said. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been surer," Olivia said. "I'm tired of not taking the chances in front of me. I'm ready for a new chapter, whatever that looks like." She reached out and took one of Alex's hands. "I ready to do this, to see what could have been."

Alex stared into Olivia's dark brown eyes, seeing the sincerity and intensity. All she could think about was kissing the brunette, but slow and steady was best. She knew that.

"I'm ready, too," Alex whispered. Olivia's eyes never left Alex's lips. Alex could tell Olivia was thinking the same thing she was, trying to balance her desire with reason. She squeezed Olivia's hand and pulled it back, getting up from the couch, as much as she didn't want to.

"So, I guess I should get ready for bed," Alex said. "Is it still ok if I sleep in the guest room?"

"Um, oh, yeah, of course," Olivia said, pulling herself out the moment they were just having.

"I'll go back to my dad's place tomorrow," Alex said. "I know we've made some big decisions, and I don't want you to feel rushed."

"I appreciate the gesture, Alex," Olivia said. "And you can if you want, but don't do it on my account. I kind of like having you here in the mornings." She smiled softly at Alex, who blushed. "Besides, at my age, I'm pretty sure I can control myself – even if there is a beautiful woman sleeping down the hall."

Alex laughed and tossed her head back as she headed down the hall to her room. "Naked."

"What?"

"A beautiful naked woman sleeping down the hall," Alex said, smirking, continuing in the bedroom.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Ugh," she moaned to herself. "That woman is going to be the end of me."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	6. Sun

_A/N: Left a note below. Thanks, thanks, thanks, for reading. Hope you enjoy this chapter where they are settling back in._

* * *

 **SUN**

Olivia woke early the next morning with a smile on her face. She wasn't sure if she had dreamed the night before, but she was sure hoping she didn't.

After putting a pot of coffee on, she began working on breakfast. Pancakes and fruit again, and some mimosas for her and Alex.

When Alex woke up, she too wondered if it had been a wonderful dream. She figured a cup of coffee would help her remember, even if the uncontrollable smile on her face told her everything she needed to know.

For the second morning in a row, she stopped the admire the sight in front of her in the kitchen, watching as Olivia poured pancake batter in the skillet. Olivia looked happy and Alex was hoping she had something to do with the smile on her face.

As Alex started into the kitchen, Olivia, wearing on her robe, raised her arms above her head to stretch out. The movement caused the loosely tied belt to come undone, and so did the front of her robe – something Olivia seemed to not care about, nor did she seem aware of the blonde watching from the living room.

Alex's mouth dropped open as she saw just a glance of Olivia's bare breasts and she momentarily forgot to breath.

A smirk creeped up on Olivia's face – a dead give-away she knew full well Alex was watching her.

"Oh, you are such a tease," Alex said. She watched into the kitchen to join Olivia.

"I'm a tease? I'm a tease? Really, miss 'I sleep naked,'" Olivia said, laughing at the blonde.

Alex stepped closer to Olivia. "So, last night wasn't a dream. We're…doing this whole 'us' thing still, right?"

"We are," Olivia said. "Unless you're having second thoughts."

"Not for a second," Alex said.

"Good," Olivia said. She moved closer to Alex and put her hands around the blonde's waist, pulling her against her body.

Alex smiled and whispered. "I thought we were going to take this slow?"

"We are, but…I've waited 17 years to kiss you," Olivia said.

"Mommy?"

The small voice startled both women who had been lost in nothing but each other for a few moments. They immediately pulled away and Olivia walked over to where Noah was standing.

"Hey, buddy," she said. "I was just about to wake you. Breakfast is almost done."

"Chocolate cakes?" Noah asked, referring to the pancakes.

"Yes, more chocolate chip pancakes," Olivia said. "But, when we get back to the city, you're back to oatmeal and fruit every day."

Noah laughed, as if he didn't believe her. "Lex, you gonna eat, too?"

"I am," Alex said. "In fact, why don't you help me get some plates out and we'll set the table for breakfast while Mommy finishes up."

Olivia smiled as she returned her attention to flipping pancakes. Alex grabbed three plates and some silverware and went to the dining room with Noah.

"Noah, can you put the napkins on the left side of the plates and I'll put the forks out?" Alex asked.

Noah took the stack of napkins and stared at the plate for a minute. Alex watched him studying the napkins and the plate. She walked over beside him.

"How about this, Noah?" Alex said. "Can you show me which hand you color with?"

Noah looked down, then raised his left hand. She hadn't realized he was left handed, so she looked to the kitchen were Olivia was watching them.

"Yep, he's a lefty," Olivia said.

"Ok Noah, it seems you are left handed just like me," Alex said. "I color with my left hand, too."

"You do?" Noah asked.

"Yep," Alex said. "Ok, now when you put the napkins down, look at the plate and put them on the same side as the hand you color with."

"Ok," he said. He walked over to the plate, lifted the napkin with his left hand, looked at it, then put it down. Alex smiled as she watched Noah go around the table to all three plates doing the same. She went behind him placing a fork on the napkin.

"Good job, Noah," Alex said. She put out her left hand to give him a high-five. Or high to him at least. "How about we go wash our hands before Mommy brings the food out?"

Noah took off for the bathroom with Alex following behind. Olivia brought the food out and put it on the table. Soon after, everyone was sitting at the table filling themselves with pancakes and fruit.

While Alex was eating, she noticed Olivia staring at her.

"What is it? Do I have syrup on my face?" Alex asked, using her napkin to wipe her face down.

Olivia shook her head. "No," she said. "I was just thinking about how great you are with Noah. You'd make a great mother, Alex."

Alex stopped mid-bite and Olivia realized how her words could be taken.

"Oh, no, I mean, I don't mean…shoot, I didn't mean to Noah specifically. I just meant in general," Olivia said.

Alex laughed. "I know, Liv," she said. "It's ok. It just startled me for a moment because of…well everything going on. And I think you give me more credit than I deserve. Noah makes it easy on me."

"Hm," Olivia said. "Maybe he could try making it easy on me once." She laughed and glanced over at Noah, whose face was covered in chocolate and syrup.

"Looks like someone is going to need a bath soon," Alex said.

"Yes. Motherhood tip number one: Never get the kids dressed before breakfast," Olivia said.

"I'll keep that in mind," Alex said. "You know, in case I ever have kids."

The two women laughed. They both know both of them were likely past the normal child-bearing age, even if not entirely impossible. Olivia would have liked to have had more children, but with her job, she knew Noah was enough for her. She was blessed to even have him and knew it.

But the weight of the conversation stayed around in both their minds, knowing, if things went smoothly, Alex could very well become a mother to Noah. Something about the thought of that made Olivia smile, even if she was way ahead of herself.

#

The last few days kept them busy. The weather had improved so they kept Noah on the go all day, followed by dinner, some playing and then they'd spend the evening watching tv and just talking.

They had kept them G-rated, with the exception of some teasing. Olivia desperately wanted to kiss Alex, but she also didn't want their first kiss to be interrupted by a toddler. At night, after Noah was in bed would have been fine, but Olivia was certain – in that setting – if she kissed Alex, she wouldn't stop. It may be old fashioned, but she wanted them to at least go on a real date, just the two of them, before the relationship turned physical. And she didn't want vacation-brain to be affecting their judgement.

Of course, she shared all of that with Alex, who agreed. They both felt confident in their feelings, but knew reality of work and the city would be hitting them soon.

Their final morning, Alex had to leave earlier than Noah and Olivia. After she'd packed up her things from her Dad's place – things she had barely used – she came back over to tell Olivia and Noah goodbye.

"Will we see Lex again?" Noah asked. He was a bit confused as to why she was leaving. In his 3-and-a-half-year-old brain, he thought she lived there.

"You definitely will, little man," Alex said, squatting down to his level. "I live in the city like you and your Mommy. So, I'm not sure when yet, but I will definitely come for a visit." She looked up and Olivia to see the brunette smiling at her. Then she gave Noah a hug, who wrapped his arms tightly around her neck.

"Bye, Lex," Noah said.

"Noah, why don't you go pick a movie from the living room that you can watch while I finish packing us up," Olivia said. "I'm just going to be right here to talk to Alex for a minute and tell her goodbye."

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said, running off to the living room.

"So," Alex said.

"So," Olivia said.

"Vacation is over," Alex said.

"It seems it is," Olivia said. "Alex, I've had a great week. I was unsure about coming, but…I'm really glad I ran into you."

"Me, too," Alex said. "So, you'll be back later today?"

"Yes," Olivia said. "Perhaps I can text you and we can find a night for our date?"

"That sounds wonderful, Liv," Alex said. "I can't wait."

Olivia gave Alex a hug, holding her tightly. "Goodbye, Alex."

Alex, not wanting to break the rules, but wanting to leave Olivia something to think about, turned her head and kissed her on the cheek. "Bye, Liv. I'll see you soon."

With that, she turned and left; leaving Olivia standing there with her hand on her cheek where Alex had kissed her and a goofy grin on her face.

#

"Hey, Liv. We Montez's alibi checks out. He's not our perp," Fin said, popping his head into Olivia's office. She had been back to work for just two days and was overwhelmed. The squad had handled everything in her absence, but the sheer level of emails she had to respond to was enough to keep her behind her desk most of the day.

She and Alex had texted since they were both back in the city. Alex was also knee deep in work, but they two of them decided Friday night was their best opportunity for a date, as long as nothing major happened between now and then. However, the ADA did say she was going to be near the 1-6 later that day and might stop by.

"Alright, well, have Carisi and Rollins re-canvass the neighborhood," she said. "Someone had to have saw or heard something. A teenager girl doesn't get raped in broad daylight without someone seeing something suspicious."

"We're on it, Liv," Fin said. "They're already on their way to do that now. I'm expecting the video footage anytime now.'

Olivia nodded. "Good," she said. "Oh, and Fin, thanks for helping to keep things running smoothly here while I was gone."

"Not a problem, Liv. You know we got your back," he said. "You should take more vacations."

"You like being in charge, huh?" Olivia grinned.

"I've always been the boss of Rollins and Carisi," he joked. "Besides, I wouldn't want your job. Yvette check in every day. She's the one who really did the work."

"That's not what she told me," Olivia said.

"Anyway, I'm glad you had a chance to get away," he said. "You deserve it. And you look happy. I haven't seen that face in…well, a while."

"It was a good trip…revealing," Olivia said.

"Well, if that's what it takes, maybe I'll take me a vacation," Fin said, laughing. "I'll keep you posted on the video footage and with the re-canvass."

"Thank, Fin," she said. "If you can keep people out while I finish up these billion emails, unless something comes up, that would be good."

"On it, L-T," he said. He closed the door behind him and went back to his desk.

Olivia let out a breath before diving back into her emails and CompStat, her mind wandering between the work in front of her and her upcoming date with Alex.

About 30 minutes later, there was a light knock on the door before Fin opened it.

"I know you said you didn't want visitors, but I figured you'd make an exception for this one," he said, then moved so Alex could slide in. "It was good seeing you Cabot. Don't be a stranger. Liv, I've got that video now. I'll let you know if I find anything."

"Thanks, Fin," Olivia said.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting," Alex said, taking a seat in front of Olivia's desk.

"No," she said. "Just responding to emails for stats and follow up on some old cases. In fact, I probably needed a break."

"I figured as much," Alex said. She dug in her bag and pulled out a brown bag with a sandwich, and a water. "If your week has been anything like mine, I figure you haven't had much time to eat lunch either."

Olivia took the bag and pulled out the sandwich. "Thank you, Alex. And you remembered one of my favorite."

"Well, when I texted you, I was right outside of Luigi's," she said. "I figured if I was coming by anyway, we may as well eat."

"You are a god-send," Olivia said before taking a bite.

They chatted as they quickly ate their lunch. Both only had a few minutes to spare, but it was nice to see each other. Olivia realized she had already began to miss not seeing Alex every day once they got back to the city.

Alex left the office and stopped by Fin's desk on the way out.

"I hear you are on the sergeant's list," she said.

"Well, I'm pretty far down the list, but you heard right," he said.

"Either way, congratulations," she said. "I know the test isn't easy. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Alex," he said. "You been on vacation, too?"

"Huh?" Alex asked, quickly feeling nervous about his question.

"Just mean it looks like you got some sun," he said.

"Oh, um, I was in the sun this weekend, yeah," Alex said. Her fair skin was such a dead give-away, even when she wore sunscreen. "I'll, uh, see you later Fin. It was good seeing you."

Alex hurried out of the squad room before Fin could ask any more questions. She didn't plan on keeping her relationship with Olivia private – even if a young Alex would have wanted to – but she also hadn't talked to Olivia about it yet either. She figured they should at least have their first date at the very least before anyone knew about them.

#

Rollins and Carisi had turned up a few leads that connected with what Fin found on the video footage. It led them straight to a Rabbi's son, who was conveniently out of town for the next day. Olivia asked a patrol unit to keep an eye on the Rabbi to make sure he didn't try to "help" out his son. They had accomplished a lot that day and Olivia ordered them all home. As soon as their suspect was back, it could be long, messy days.

"You taking off soon, Liv?" Fin said, poking his head in her office door.

"Yeah, I'm heading out right now," she said. "Everyone else gone?"

"Yeah, and I'm heading out, too," he said. "I'll walk you down."

Olivia grabbed her bag and walked along side Fin to the elevator.

"Was surprised to see Cabot today," he said casually as they rode the elevator. "What brought her by?"

"Um, she was in the neighborhood," Olivia said.

"Hm," Fin said. "Well, she looked good. I mean, we're all getting up there, and I know you and I look good, but, Cabot, I don't think she ages."

Olivia smiled real big and nodded as she thought of Alex in a bikini last week. He wasn't wrong.

"Looks like you got some sun last week, too," Fin said.

"Too?" Olivia questioned.

"Well, I just commented on Cabot getting some sun," he said. "That fair skin of hers was looking a little pink. Seems like she must've had a vacation, too."

"Ah," Olivia said, unsure how to respond.

"Well, here we are," Fin said, holding back a grin. "I'll let you get going home to Noah."

"Uh, yeah, goodnight, Fin," Olivia said. She stepped off the elevator and the two of them headed opposite directions for him.

Of all the things Olivia had thought about over the past week and figuring out her and Alex, she hadn't thought about how it would play out at work. Disclosing was one thing, and they would do that if and when the time came. But in the meantime, Olivia would need to somehow explain Alex's sudden reappearance in her life and figure out how to explore things with the ADA privately without having an audience watching – including her squad.

* * *

 _A/N: The next chapter will be aptly titled "The Date." So yes, we're getting there next._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	7. The Date

_A/N: So, I went ahead and changed the rating of this to M. Not all chapters will be M of course, but we're gonna get there eventually ;-)_

 _Also, I think you'll like this one. A lot. And wow, the feedback on this so far is great. Thanks again. I wrote a lot today, it's late and I'm tired. I could have waited, but I wanted to get it out, since work comes tomorrow. I gave this a couple of spell checks and once over, but if there is anything egregious. I'm sorry. Feel free to let me know._

* * *

 **THE DATE**

After what seemed like the longest week in the history of long weeks – and after the longest work day in the history of long work days – it was finally Friday night.

Lucy was at Olivia's apartment, having agreed to keep Noah for the evening. She also asked Olivia if she minded if she just stayed over, so she didn't have to go home late, and made some excuse about her roommate having company.

Olivia of course agreed, but what she didn't know was that Lucy didn't need to spend the night. She was just happy Olivia had a date with whoever had put the smile on her face for the past week – something she hadn't seen since well before Olivia and Tucker had broken up. Lucy just didn't want Olivia to feel the need to rush home from her date, or even stay gone all night if she was so inclined.

"Ok, the restaurant information is here. You know his medical stuff. He's been going to bed pretty good this week," Olivia was listing off all the things she could think of to tell Lucy, as if Lucy didn't already know. It was apparent she was nervous. "I'll probably be home right after dinner, so if you change your mind about staying, or want to go out, you can. I hate to take up your Friday night."

"Olivia, it's fine," Lucy said. "I'll probably study once Noah is in bed. Please, go out and enjoy yourself with whoever is making you this nervous."

Olivia froze. She hadn't realized she was acting so nervous. "Oh, do I look nervous?"

"You seem happy and like this person is pretty special," Lucy said. "Look, you're fine. You look beautiful and that dress is amazing. Trust me, your date is going to be drooling."

Olivia let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders. "Thank you, Lucy," Olivia said. "For everything."

"You're welcome and it's not a problem," Lucy said. "Now go."

"Ok. Call if you need anything," Olivia said.

"I highly doubt I'll need anything…except for you to go," Lucy said.

Olivia shook her head and laughed and Lucy nearly pushed her out the front door.

Olivia had insisted on picking Alex up, like a proper date. When she arrived at Alex's building, the doorman greeted her. "Ms. Benson?" the doorman, John, asked. Olivia nodded, unsure how he knew who she was. "Ms. Cabot is expecting you."

"Thank you," she said. She started in, but stopped. "Can I ask a question?"

"How did you know who I was?" Olivia asked.

"Well, she told me there would be a beautiful brunette coming," he said. "And someone as beautiful as you must be here to see the beautiful Ms. Cabot."

Olivia blushed. "You're kind," she said, then looked at her empty hands. "Can I ask you another question?"

"She prefers wildflowers to roses and there is a shop right across the street," he said, not even waiting on her question.

"How did you…"

"I've been doing my job a long time, Ms. Benson," he said. "I can tell when someone is smitten. But next time, think about the flowers before you get here."

Olivia put her head down, smiling and slightly embarrassed. "Thank you…" she looked for his name tag.

"John," he said.

"It's nice to meet you," she said. "I'm Olivia."

"It's my pleasure," he said. "Anyone that can put the smile on Ms. Cabot's face that she's had this week must be pretty special."

"I hope so," Olivia said. "I'll be right back." She nodded to him and quickly made her way across the street to the flower shop. It didn't take her long to find the perfect bouquet of wildflowers and make her way back to Alex's building.

John simply nodded, indicating for her to go on through. "Lovely choice, Olivia."

Olivia and headed to the elevator.

#

Upstairs Alex was pacing around the living room, although she didn't realize that's what she was doing. She picked at a piece of dark chocolate, then scolded herself for spoiling her dinner. It was 6:50. Olivia was 5 minutes late.

It wasn't that the 5 minutes was a big deal, but Olivia was never later. Of course, something could have come up with Noah that made her late. Alex realized her history of knowing whether Olivia was on time or not was pre-Noah. She looked at her watch. As each second ticked by, she began to wonder if Olivia was getting cold feet. She grabbed her phone to see if Olivia had sent her a message. _No messages._

Alex took a deep breath then grabbed another piece of chocolate – bigger this time – and shoved it in her mouth. About the time she swallowed, there was a knock at the door.

Her heart skipped a few beats.

Another breath and Alex made her way to the door. She didn't even look before opening it – she was too excited.

As soon as the door swung open, both women stood speechless. Their moment was there.

"Hi," Alex squeaked, then smiled.

"Hi," Olivia said.

Their greeting was simple, but it worked as neither of them had any other words to say.

"Oh, these are for you," Olivia awkwardly said, handing the flowers to Alex.

"Liv, they're beautiful," Alex said. "The colorful ones are my favorite, actually."

Olivia smiled. She'd tell Alex someday about the tip she got from John, but for now, she was going to take the credit.

Alex stood there holding the flowers, not moving to put them in water. Olivia was unsure what was happening next. "Liv, you look beautiful. I mean…wow, that dress." The dress did look good on Olivia and she knew it. Short. Red. No shoulder on one side. Diamond designs running diagonal from her shoulder to bottom.

Olivia smirked. "Well, Ms. Cabot, you are quite stunning yourself." Olivia let her eyes wander as she admired the royal blue dress on Alex, trimmed with a cream color. The dress was longer than Olivia's, but the slit on the side of the dress…well, it left little to Olivia's imagination.

"Let me put these in some water and we'll go," Alex said.

#

Dinner went smoothly. Olivia only checked her phone once to see if Lucy had called or texted, but half-way expected either a Noah emergency or SVU emergency. So far, nothing. Things going this smoothly made Olivia nervous, though.

"Could I interest you in a walk in the park?" Alex asked as they exited the restaurant. "I ate too much, but wow, it was so good."

Olivia nodded yes to the walk. "That was hands down the best braised lamb I've ever had," she said.

"I think it was the chocolate soufflé that did me in," Alex said.

As they headed in the direction of the park, Olivia reached out and took Alex's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Is this ok?" she whispered. They still hadn't talked about how public they were going to be at this phase.

"It's very ok," Alex said, moving in closer to Olivia as they walked.

Both women had big smiles on their face. The very thought of them being about to do this years ago, never even crossed their mind. Even if they would have pursued a relationship, it would have likely had to stay somewhat private then.

They strolled hand in hand through a well-lit portion of Central Park, stopping occasionally to admire the city. It was dark outside, and a few clouds rolling in, but the building and the lights was one of Alex's favorite things. Olivia began to wonder what time it was supposed to start raining. She had checked the weather earlier in the day, but was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to start until after midnight. They still had some time, and Lucy had been pretty insistent about her staying out.

The two women saw a park bench and Olivia nodded to it. "You know, it's funny how most people come into the park and have all of these happy memories with family or friends. Their kids playing. A romantic moment."

"This bench. It's where you found that homeless woman who was sexually assaulted," Alex said. She remembered that case. She tugged Olivia's hand so they would keep walking, someplace away from the bad memory.

"I've tried the past few years to look for those happy moments; to not see everything through the darkness we see in SVU every day," Olivia said. "And you know, it's started to work. I can go places with Noah and start to form new memories in bad places."

"I guess the bad can be found anywhere if you know where to look," Alex said. "I still can't walk by the pub where I was shot."

"Me either," Olivia said.

Finally, Alex stopped walking and took Olivia's other hand, the brunette facing her. "Olivia, I know this is date one, but I hope you and I can…work on making happy memories, together."

Olivia looked into Alex's blue eyes. They shone even brighter against her dress and the wave of emotion took over the detective. A feeling she wasn't sure she had ever felt, not this soon. She moved her hand to Alex's cheek.

"I'm going to kiss you," Olivia said. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to announce it, but Alex thought it was adorable and nodded. Olivia immediately pushed their lips together, letting her hand slide to the back of Alex's neck and not wasting anytime to let it grow deeper as soon as she felt Alex kissing her back.

Both women pulled back for a breath, only for a second before Alex began kissing Olivia again Within seconds, they heard thunder and large drops of rain began to fall.

"I guess the rain started early," Olivia said.

"We should probably get a cab," Alex said, still holding tight to Olivia.

"We should," Olivia said.

Alex turned to walk back toward the street, but Olivia pulled her hand back and spun her back around to face her. She put her hand around her back and kissed Alex again, not caring about the raining pouring down on their head.

When they finished, Alex cocked her head to the side and smirked. "Wow. Now there's a memory for you."

#

It was a short cab ride back to Alex's apartment. Olivia got out with Alex, but told the cab driver to wait. She intended to go home as much as she may not have wanted to.

She walked Alex to the door, standing under the awning so they were out of the rain.

"I had a great night, Alex," Olivia said. "And I hope you still want to do this again."

"Do you want to come upstairs?" Alex asked.

"I…um…"

"You told me Lucy was staying the night, so you don't have a curfew," Alex teased. "Come on, at least let me get you out of those wet clothes." She smirked at Olivia.

Olivia blushed at the words and laughed. "You are SUCH a tease," she said.

Alex leaned forward and put her lips right next to Olivia's ear, whispering. "Who said I was teasing?"

Olivia felt her breath catch and her eyes widened as she looked into Alex's eyes. The blonde wasn't kidding. "I'll be right back."

She turned, ran over to the cab driver, gave him some money for the ride and tip, then gave him more money just for waiting. She didn't even look to see how much before running back to Alex's door and following her inside.

#

When they were inside Alex's apartment, the door had barely shut before Olivia was backing Alex up against the wall next to it, lips and body pressed hard against Alex, who tangled her hand in Olivia's hair, letting it be known she enjoyed every second of it.

"Are you ok?" Olivia whispered in Alex's ear as her tongue found its way to the blonde's neck.

"God, yes, Liv," Alex said. "Don't you dare think of stopping."

It was all the encouragement Olivia needed. She began peppering kisses down to Alex's collarbone while her left hand founded that insanely high slit in Alex's dress. Alex gasped as Olivia's hand touched her bare thigh, caressing the outside of it.

Olivia's own thigh pressed hard between Alex's legs; her own nipples grew hard against Alex's body.

"Liv, I need you to take me to bed now," Alex said. "Our clothes aren't the only thing wet anymore."

Olivia felt a rush between her legs and her knees go a little weak at Alex's words. She turned and took Alex's hand as she led the brunette to the bedroom. Once inside, things became less hurried, but no less desperate.

"Turn around," Alex said, motioning to Olivia, who did as she asked.

Alex put her hand on the top of the zipper, slowly pulling it down to reveal Olivia's tan and toned back. Her eyes wandered all the way down to Olivia's ass, but resisting the urge to touch it…yet.

Once Olivia was unzipped, she turned around and remained still as Alex slid her dress off, watching it crumple to the floor. Olivia stepped out. She then turned Alex around and mimicked the same behavior. Slowly unzipping the blonde, but not before grabbing Alex's hips and pressing her nearly naked body against her. She saw the blonde's skin go flush at the contact.

Within moments, both dresses were crumpled on the floor, and neither of them seemed the least bit interested in taking the time to hang them up. When they were both naked, aside from bras and panties, Alex pulled Olivia into an embrace, kissing her gently and caressing her.

"Liv, are you sure you want to do this? That you're ready?" Alex asked sincerely. She didn't want Olivia to feel pressured or rushed.

Olivia smiled. "Come here. Lay down with me," she said, leading the blond over to the bed. She laid down next to Alex, facing her.

"Alex, do I know if we're ready for this? I don't," Olivia said. "I haven't slept with anyone on a first date in well…forever. And, if this really was a first date, I would say we're not ready, that we're moving too fast. That I wasn't sure.

"But, you're not just anyone. You're not a first date, even if technically it is. I trust you completely, with my body, with my emotions, and I trust you'll be gentle with my heart. I know you, and you know me. We're two consenting adults fully aware of the consequences…and the benefits. So, are we ready? Maybe, maybe not. But what I do know is that I'm sure I want this more than anything right now. And that's not my hormones talking. I've wanted this forever, Alex."

Tears began to fill Alex's eyes as Olivia was talking. "You're not supposed to make me cry before we make love for the first time," Alex said.

"Well, then maybe we should stop talking about this and whether it's too soon or we're ready and just do what feels right," Olivia said. "I promise, no matter what happens, I'll never regret giving us a chance."

Alex smiled. "Me either."

Olivia rolled on top of Alex, leaning down to kiss her again. She couldn't believe this was happening, that a naked Alex Cabot was beneath her, her hands running down her back.

There was no more talking that night – at least no conversation.

Alex's hands made their way to Olivia's breasts, tracing her thumb along the brunette's nipples as she felt Olivia's tongue on her neck. When she felt Olivia's mouth move to the nape of her neck, she subconsciously squeezed Olivia's breast and ass at the same time.

When Olivia slid down her body, her tongue tracing the tip of Alex's very perky breasts, goosebumps broke out over Alex's body. She felt the temperature in the room go up quickly. Alex wrapped her legs around Olivia's thigh, intensifying the grinding as the warmth between her legs grew.

Alex was ready to feel Olivia. Not her leg or her body. She wanted to feel Olivia inside her, between her. Alex reached down and pulled Olivia up toward her, taking Olivia's hand and guiding it between her legs.

As Olivia began to rub around, feeling Alex's wetness, Alex reached down and did the same to Olivia, causing the detective to gasp.

After a few moments, and an intense eye lock, Olivia slid her finger inside Alex, who she immediately felt clench around her and let out a moan. Easing her way, she watched as Alex tilted her head back and dug her fingers into Olivia's back. The intensity of Alex grabbing her only made Olivia more determined as she moved deeper.

As Olivia picked up the pace, Alex felt waves of pleasure fill her body, slowly losing control. She reached up and pulled Olivia in for a deep kiss, probing the brunette's mouth and sucking on Olivia's tongue. As Olivia thrusted harder, Alex found herself burying her head in Olivia's shoulder, biting down.

Olivia didn't mind. In fact, she smiled when she saw Alex's apologetic face. Then she repositioned herself so her thumb could reach Alex's clit. Fingers curled up inside Alex, she began to stroke the blonde's clit with her thumb, pushing Alex closer.

"Oh, yes, Liv," Alex panted. "Just like that."

Olivia flexed her fingers, and gave Alex two hard thrust before, putting all of her attention on Alex's clit. As Alex begged her not to stop, Olivia only circled it faster in short then long strokes.

Finally, she felt an intense clench around her fingers in waves, then Alex's legs began to shake and the blonde yelled Olivia's name as she came undone. Alex was holding on to Olivia for dear life as her body jolted uncontrollably for what seemed like forever to Olivia. It was only a handful of seconds, but it was now one of the best moments of Olivia's life.

Seeing Alex so out of control of her body and her words, did things to Olivia she couldn't explain. The complete vulnerability of it made Olivia fall even harder for Alex. The tough, strong, lawyer had turned into putty…at Olivia's touch. She couldn't imagine any bigger turn on.

#

It turned out, Alex had the ability to turn Olivia into putty as well, and she did a few times that night. It was nearly daylight when they fell asleep, sweaty bodies against each other, like they had slept like that a million times.

As was habit, Olivia woke at 6 a.m. She had texted Lucy at some point during the night to say she would be home in the morning since it was storming. Lucy didn't mind, of course. When Olivia read it the next morning, she rolled her eyes at her own self for such a terrible excuse. After all, she was a grown woman, almost 50. She didn't need an excuse to spend the night with someone. Not that she would tell Lucy what she was doing, but the excuse wasn't needed. She suspected Lucy was smart enough to know, too, even if she'd never say a word.

"Are you so disenchanted with the naked woman next to you already that you need to be on your phone?" a sleepy Alex teased when she saw Olivia scrolling through her phone.

Olivia put her phone down and rolled over to face Alex. She moved forward and gave her a long kiss. "Not a chance," she said.

"Did neither of our phones really not ring or ding all night?" Alex asked. She sat up and reached for her phone on the other side of the bed.

"No," Olivia said. "Not a single email, text message, phone call. I'm starting to wonder if you put one of those cell phone blockers in your apartment."

"I didn't, but now that you mention it, if we're going to have more nights like last night – and I so hope we do – I should look into investing in that," Alex said, laughing.

"Oh, we're definitely doing that again," Olivia said. "But, unfortunately, not right now. Noah is usually awake by 7 on the weekends and I'd prefer to be there when he wakes up. Fewer questions."

"From a 3-and-a-half-year-old? Did he learn interrogation techniques from his mother?" Alex teased.

"Very funny," Olivia said. "He's just…uh…not used to me being there when he wakes up unless I'm working. And well, I'm clearly not working."

"Oh, I think you worked very hard last night," Alex said. "In fact, so hard, I feel like I should offer you breakfast. But I know you don't have time."

"Unfortunately, I don't," Olivia said.

"Would…um, would it be ok if I brought breakfast over in a little while?" Alex said. "I know you want to be careful with Noah, but…"

"That would be great, Alex," Olivia said. "I mean, he hasn't seen us together like…well, this, so I think as long as we're careful and it's not daily, it should be ok."

Alex kissed Olivia. "Good," she said. "I have to be honest, I kinda missed Noah this week."

"Oh, and I thought you wanted to come and see me," Olivia said, faking hurt.

"Well, you are the reason I want to come over," Alex said. "Noah is just an added benefit."

Olivia got up, stark naked, and started looking around on the floor for her dress.

"I think they ended up in that corner, but to be honest, I have no idea where your panties and bra went," Alex said, smirking. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"There should be a t-shirt and sweats in that bottom drawer you can wear home," Alex said. "My doorman doesn't need to see you in last night's dress. I'll hang it up later with mine and bring it to you."

"Oh, John, yes, he was a very nice man," Olivia said, while she opened the drawer and looked around for her undies.

"You talked to him?" Alex asked.

"I did," Olivia said. "In fact, I have to confess. The flowers were his suggestion. I would have bought roses."

"Ugh, I hate roses," Alex said. "And I had a hunch about the wildflowers."

"That's…new…the roses?" Olivia said. "I mean I remember seeing roses on your desk before, at least before witness protection. I remember being pretty jealous."

"Ok, those were probably from my dad," Alex said. "Anytime he'd send mom roses, he'd send them to me."

"I see," Olivia said. She thought maybe since Alex's mom had passed, it was a bad memory for her.

"But that's not why I hate them," Alex said. "That's…a story for another day. Also, your panties are tangled up in my toes."

Olivia laughed and made her way to the foot of the bed, snatching her panties before Alex could pull them further into bed. She slipped them on and quickly dressed in a t-shirt and the sweats Alex offered.

She moved to the top of the bed and leaned over Alex, giving her a goodbye kiss.

"By the way, if you find my bra, bring it with breakfast," Olivia smirked before leaving.

* * *

A/N: _Ok, I've been kind with my lack of angst, complications, aside from moving slow in the first few chapters. But, you have to know some bumps will have to eventually come, as with all relationships. But, just remember, more mature & older Liv and Alex. So, nothing too crazy, I promise._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	8. Happy

_A/N: We're gonna start seeing a few tests for the women, and see how they handle them._

 _And yes, I did throw them in bed on the first date, but like they said, it's not really a first date, it's like date 14 or something :-)_

* * *

 **HAPPY**

It had been four perfect weeks for Olivia and Alex. They had managed to keep their dates just for themselves, reacquainting themselves with each other's life.

SVU had just wrapped up a case and handed a solid case off to Barba. Olivia had some free time during the day and texted Alex to see if she could meet her for a late lunch. Since Alex was finishing court early, she agreed to meet Olivia at 1 o'clock at  
Luigi's.

The sandwich shop was near the precinct so Olivia headed down a few minutes early since it tended to get busy during lunch time. She figured she'd go ahead and order for them since lunch tended to get cut short. Anything that could save them time. Besides,  
Alex would be 10 minutes late just like clockwork.

Olivia stood in looking up at the menu, even though she had ordered the same thing for 19 years now. She was pretty sure the menu hadn't changed in that time too except for the prices.

She was waiting her turn to order when she heard a familiar gruff voice behind her.

"Let me guess. Number 6, hold the mayo."

Olivia smiled and turned around to see Ed Tucker standing behind her.

"Old habits, I guess," she smiled. "And you're going for the number 3, extra pickles."

"You know how much I love my pickles," Ed said, grinning ear to ear. "How are you? How's Noah?"

"We're…good," Olivia said. She couldn't help but smile thinking about how good she was.

She didn't particularly want to have the conversation about Alex right now. She didn't feel like she needed to tell him, but she also didn't feel like she needed to hide it. But a busy sandwich shop wasn't the place.

"Well, you look happy," he said. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks," she said. "How are you? How is retirement?"

"Next!" The cashier called out and Olivia quickly gave them two numbers and order instructions.

"Well, I miss getting up and having something to do every day," he said. "That's actually why I'm down this way. I had a meeting at 1PP today about doing some part-time work in the public integrity department. I mean, since I was planning to move there  
when I retired, I figured they may still want me. But overall, I'm enjoying retirement. I've been doing a lot of fishing."

"Well, you always wanted more times for that," Olivia said. "I'm glad you're doing well, Ed."

"You know, if it's ok, I always promised Noah I'd take him fishing," Ed said. "That offer still stands if you're ok with it."

Olivia looked up into his sincere eyes. She knew it wasn't a ploy to get back into her life. Ed loved Noah as if he was his own. It had been hard on all three of them after the breakup.

"I think Noah would love that," Olivia said. She paused for a moment thinking of how lucky she was that so many people in her life loved Noah. "Thank you, Ed."

"Noah would love what?"

Olivia turned around to see Alex walking up behind her – right on time for once.

"Alex, hi," Olivia said. "You remember Ed Tucker."

"I do," Alex said. "Lieutenant." She nodded to him, unsure of what was happening and unsure why she felt the need to hate him.

"Counselor," he said. "Always a pleasure. I was just offering to Olivia to take Noah fishing with me one of these days soon."

"Ah," Alex said. She was resisting the urge to rip his blue eyes out, even if they were beautiful. But she also trusted Olivia and knew any jealous was not called for. Still, she found herself moving closer to Olivia, almost to subtly tell Ed his former  
love was taken.

Ed noticed the odd reaction from Alex, but wasn't sure why. He glanced at Olivia who looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Number 87!" The sandwich maker yelled out an order number, indicating Olivia and Alex's sandwiches were ready.

"That's us," Olivia said. She went over and picked up the tray with their food on it, leaving Alex and Ed standing silently.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovely ladies to your lunch," Ed said. "My turn is almost here. Cabot, it was good to see you again. Liv, I'll call you, we'll coordinate when is good for you and Noah. It's good to see you looking so happy."

"Thanks, Ed. You, too," she replied.

Ed made his way up the counter to order while Olivia and Alex searched for a seat. By the time they got settled, got drinks and sat down to eat, Ed had picked up his order to-go and was heading out the door.

"So…how was court?" Olivia asked.

"It was fine," Alex said. Olivia could tell Alex was rattled by the interaction, but was trying not to be as she chowed down on her sandwich. "How's Tucker?"

"Um, well, retired," Olivia said. "Seems good."

"Great," Alex said. The sarcasm in her tone slipped through a little that time. When she looked up and saw Olivia's eyes – filled with sorrow and not anger – she knew she had made a mistake. "I'm sorry, Liv. I really am glad he's good."

"I didn't expect to run into him," Olivia said. "And I understand. I know it was probably uncomfortable for you to see me talking to my ex."

"We're adults, Liv," Alex said. "And I trust you. But yeah, it did make me a little…"

"Jealous?" Olivia asked, smirking.

Alex smiled finally. "Just a little," she admitted. "But, I mean it. We're adults and I'm glad you're on good terms. So, tell me about fishing?"

"Ed has been doing a lot of fishing in his retirement. We went once, but Noah was too young to enjoy it," Olivia said. "He had told Noah he would take him when the weather warmed up, but then, well…"

"You broke up," Alex said.

Olivia nodded.

"Well, it sounds like he cares about Noah," Alex said. "And it's not like you or I are going to be teaching him how to fish."

Olivia laughed. "I can't imagine you've ever been fishing."

"I've…been in an aquarium, and I enjoy eating fish. Does that count?" Alex joked.

"It's good enough for me," Olivia asked.

"Wait a second," Alex said. "Did you just say you went fishing?"

"Hey, I told you. The new me is all about trying new things…even fishing," Olivia said.

"Well, I'm glad you are," Alex said. "You know, I was thinking, we haven't really talked about if/when and with who we're going to share our relationship with."

"Well, I was planning on telling Ed, if that's what you're asking," Olivia said.

"No, I was just thinking more about your squad," Alex said. "I mean, I can only show my face in the squad room so many times before Fin will be on to us."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure he already is," Olivia said. "But that said…I think I'm enjoying just having our own world right now."

"Oh ok," Alex said. She had to admit she was a little disappointed.

"Just because of our jobs and Noah," Olivia said. "I want to be careful."

"I understand," Alex said. "But eventually, if things go the way I hope they go, we're going to have to tell people. We're too old for sneaking around, even if it's not a conflict of interest."

"You're right," Olivia said. "And that's what I want, too."

"Speaking of telling people…have you told anyone?" Alex asked.

"Well, Lucy knows because Noah asks about 'Lex' all the time," Olivia said. "And I'm sure Fin is on to us, but he'd never say anything. Otherwise, that's it. You?"

Alex shook her head. "No, no one," Alex said. "Casey stopped by my apartment the other day, saw flowers and had a lot of questions. Good think you didn't sign your name to the card, because I'm pretty sure she read it while I was in the bathroom."

Olivia laughed. "Good to know," she said. "Casey was always pretty nosey. But usually for good reasons."

"I've actually been thinking about talking to my Dad," Alex said. "He also has figured out I'm dating someone. We've been pretty close since Mom died, or well, at least since I returned from the dead. He's noticed some of my evenings seem less free."

"Ah," Olivia said.

"What do you think?" Alex said. "Not right now, but maybe in a few weeks? I know he liked you the few times he and Mom met you before."

"That's been a long time," Olivia said. "He probably doesn't remember me."

"Who could forget someone as beautiful and smart as you?" Alex smirked.

"Well played, Counselor," Olivia said. "And, sure. I'm ok with that. It's your dad, so you're free to tell him anything you want."

"Anything?" Alex said, raising her eyebrows.

"Ok, maybe not _anything_ ," Olivia said, laughing. "And changing the subject because I have to go back to work soon, I was thinking maybe you'd like to spend the weekend with me and Noah. We were talking about the zoo."

"You sure?" Alex asked. Alex had seen Noah a time or two over the past few weeks, but hadn't spent a lot of time with them, per their agreement to keep Noah out of the equation for now.

"Yeah, I am," Olivia said. "And I know a little boy who would love to see you."

#

Olivia went home that night and told Noah about their weekend plans with Alex to go to the zoo. The boy was thrilled. She also looked at her calendar, then talked to Noah about going fishing with Ed. By bedtime, Noah was over the moon between the zoo  
with Lex and fishing with Ed. It made bedtime a little harder because he was so excited, but eventually he fell to sleep.

She found a comfortable spot on the couch and pulled out her phone to call Ed. She acknowledged it may be a little strange to let her ex-boyfriend spend time with her son, but Ed is the closest thing Noah had to another parent, and a good male influence  
in his life. She didn't really care what conventional wisdom may way, she just hoped Alex would truly be okay with it.

"Tucker."

Even though Ed was retired, he still answered the phone the same say. Olivia figured some day when she retired, she'd still be answering it "Benson" as well.

"Ed, it's me," she said.

"Liv, hi," he said. "I knew that, but you know, habit."

"Yeah, I know," she said. "So, I talked to Noah and he was thrilled about going fishing with 'Tuck.'"

"Thanks, Liv," Ed said. "I appreciate you letting me do this. I miss the little guy."

"He misses you," Olivia said. "So, how does two weekends from now work for you?"

"Works for me," Ed said. "I'll pick him up early that morning and we'll be back by dinnertime…maybe with dinner."

"Well, you better!" Olivia said. The two shared a laugh. It was nice for them. "So, Ed, I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Ok," he said.

"I'm…um…well." Saying the words was harder than Olivia thought. Not because she still had feelings, but because she wasn't sure how it would make Ed feel.

"You're seeing someone," Ed finished her sentence for her.

"I am," Olivia said.

"I thought so," he said. "The look you had today was relaxed, happy, in love. I know that look."

"I don't know if I'd say in love or not," Olivia said. "It's still early."

"Well, you know what I mean," he said. "It was the look of a smitten women. Specifically, it was your smitten look."

Olivia found herself blushing, but also relaxing that he was being so kind about it.

"It's ok, Liv," he said. "I always knew you'd move on eventually. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," she said.

"It's Cabot, isn't it," he asked. "I mean, Alex."

Olivia opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. It surprised her.

"It's ok, Liv," he said. "The icy glare I got from her today, combined with her damn near standing on top of you, told me everything I needed to know."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Olivia said.

"Sorry? Don't be," Ed said. "Hell, I'd have done the same thing. Maybe worse."

Olivia laughed. "Are you happy, Ed?"

"I am, Liv," he said. "In fact, I have a confession of my own."

"Oh yeah?"

"I have been seeing someone the past few weeks," he said. "It's not serious or anything yet, but she's great, and she makes me happy."

"Good for you," Olivia said. "I'm happy for you."

"I'm happy for you, too," he said.

"Goodbye, Ed."

"Goodbye, Liv."

Olivia hung up the phone, glad she had connected with Ed, and even more glad that they had both found happiness, even if it ended up not being with each other.

#

Alex picked up the phone to call her dad that evening before bed. She usually texted him every day and they talked on the phone a few times a week, much like she had with her mom before Witness Protection.

"Hello?" John Cabot said, answering the phone.

"Hi, Daddy," Alex said.

"Alexandra, hi. Finally make some time for dear old dad?" John teased.

"Very funny, dad," Alex said.

"How are you? Still spending time with your mystery woman?" he asked.

"Um...well, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," she said. "July 4th is coming up and I was thinking I may bring her with me to the Hamptons when I visit you."

"Wow, you must really like this one," he said. Alex had rarely brought any dates home to meet her parents.

"Maybe," Alex said. She couldn't hide her grin, even through the phone. "But, I wanted you to know she has a son. He's 3 and a half. I think, if she agrees to come, we'd want to bring him, too. Would that be ok?"

"Of course," John said. "I love kids and somehow my only child has managed to not provide me with any grandbabies."

"Daddy," Alex warned.

"I know, I know," he said. "I'm just teasing you."

"Ok, so it's settled," Alex said. "I'll talk to Olivia and if she can come, we'll be there July 4th."

"Olivia?" John asked. There was a change in his tone.

"Yes, you remember Olivia Benson from SVU?" Alex said. "She's the mystery woman. We just kind of reconnected recently and well, decided to give dating a shot."

"Oh, I see," John said.

"Is everything ok?" she asked. "From what I remember, you and Mom liked Olivia."

"Yeah, everything is fine," he said, doing very little to convince Alex of that. "Did I tell you I shaved a couple of strokes off my golf game?

Alex shook her head at the sudden change of subject away from Olivia. It wasn't like her dad to not take interest in who she was dating. And she couldn't think of anything he could have against Olivia.

She finished up her conversation and racked he brain trying to figure out what her dad could have against her girlfriend.

#

After Olivia's phone call with Ed and Alex's call with her dad, the blonde called Olivia as they got into bed. She wanted to extend the invitation for July 4th weekend, even if her dad was acting weird.

"I think it's a great idea, Alex," Olivia said. "I know Noah will love it."

"It's not too much? A weekend away with you and Noah?" Alex said. She had worried about that.

"No, it's fine," Olivia said. "I mean, we've done a good job, but I think, like with the zoo this weekend, it would be ok to start doing things the three of us. Even though I selfishly loving having you all to myself."

"Ok," Alex said. "Then it's settled. We'll go."

"Hey, what about your dad? He's ok with me and Noah coming?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I mean…he's not really used to me bring people I'm dating around," she said. "So, you know, he's doing the normal protective dad thing."

"Well, it's a good thing you said he already likes me," Olivia said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Alex said.

* * *

 _A/N: Just gonna remind you, I promised this was NOTa love triangle with Ed/Liv/Alex. It's still not. But since I'm playing canon thus far, the recent relationship has to be address. We won't see too much of Ed in this. I only have plans for 1 or 2 other scenes with him. So, take this as assurance, both Olivia and Ed have moved on in this fic. But the struggle with Noah is real, so I'm trying to deal with it in a realistic manner._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	9. Gone Fishing

_A/N: Get ready for feels all over the place._

* * *

 **GONE FISHING**

It was just after 6 a.m. and Olivia already had a huge smile on her face as she made her way out of the bakery with bagels and two coffees. It was Saturday morning and Ed had already picked up Noah to take him fishing for the day.

That mean Olivia had all day to spend with Alex. No cartoons. No cranky toddler naps. And no "mommy" interruptions when she and Alex were having moment. Oh, Olivia loved every one of those things and every moment with Noah, but a break for the day wasn't a bad thing. Besides, she knew Noah would be having the time of his life.

Olivia made her way to Alex's building and made her way up the elevator. The blonde wasn't expecting her and Olivia smiled thinking about how angry Alex was going to be at being woken up. Olivia didn't mind the anger though because she intended to make it up to Alex all day with their plans.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

Silence on the other end of the door. Olivia smiled and knocked a little louder. Of course, she could call or text, but that would spoil the surprise.

Again. _Knock. Knock. Knock._ That was her police knock. It would surely get the blonde's attention.

"I'm coming! Hold on!" Olivia heard a cranky voice through the door.

Knowing Alex would probably check the peephole, she held the coffee up in front of it. A moment later, Olivia heard the door begin to unlock.

"You're so lucky you brought coffee," Alex said in a sleepy and cranky voice.

"And breakfast," Olivia said, smiling and holding up the brown bag of bagels.

Alex took a breath and rolled her eyes, moving aside for Olivia to come in. The brunette handed Alex her coffee, then went straight to the kitchen to get their bagels on plates and ready.

"It's not that I don't love seeing my girlfriend, but what brings you here – unannounced – at this ungodly hour?" Alex said after her first sip of coffee.

Olivia was slicing the bagel she had just put cream cheese on. "Well, since Noah is gone fishing, I figured I didn't want to waste a minute of my free day not being with you. All alone. All day."

Alex took another drink of coffee. "Mmmm," she said.

"The coffee or spending the day with me?" Olivia said, looking up and smirking at Alex.

"Both?" Alex said with a guilty grin. "Also, who goes fishing at this time of the day?"

"Um, people who fish?" Olivia deadpanned. "Early bird gets the worm, or fish in this case."

"I knew there was a reason I've never been fishing," Alex said. "If Noah likes this whole fishing thing, maybe that can just be Tucker's job from now on out."

"Oh, now you're okay with it?" Olivia said, grinning and raising her eyebrows.

"Ok, one: I was always ok with it," Alex said. "And two: if it means I get to sleep in and spend time with you, then yes – but only if you bring me coffee."

"Deal," Olivia said. She took both their plates, stepped over to where Alex was leaning against the counter and gave her a kiss. "Breakfast?"

Alex took her plate and the both took a seat the dining table and they began eating. "So, what's our plan for the day? Please tell me a nap."

"Well, I certainly hope we spend some time in the bed," Olivia said. "But I was also thinking we go to the MET."

"Ah, you know me so well, Liv," Alex said, smiling. "There is this fabulous French place we can eat near there, too. I mean, if you want."

"If it makes you happy, I want it," Olivia said.

When they finished breakfast, Alex took their plates to the kitchen to clean up. "Liv, I realize, it's still pretty early," she said, calling out from the kitchen. "The MET doesn't open until 10 a.m. We have three hours before then."

Alex was startled when Olivia snuck up behind her and slipped her hands around Alex's waist from behind. She planted a kiss on Alex's neck, then moved her lips up to blonde's ear. "Well, I did I wanted to spend some time in bed…but don't count on getting that nap in."

#

After a good part of the morning and early afternoon at the MET, then lunch at the French café, they decided to take a break in Central Park on a grassy area by the castle. Olivia had even packed a small blanket in her bag for such occasion. She found she had a lot more room in it when she wasn't hauling around snacks and juice and toys for Noah.

"This is great, Liv," Alex said. "I couldn't imagine a more perfect day with just you and me."

"Even if I woke you up at an 'ungodly hour'?" Olivia teased.

"Well, I wasn't sure at first, since it's a Saturday and all, but after your performance after breakfast, I'm pretty sure you get a pass on waking me up. Heck, I'll even let you pick dinner," Alex said.

"In that case, will you make that lasagna you use to make?" Olivia asked.

"My mom's recipe?" Alex said.

"That's the one," Olivia said. "I mean, unless you've lost your skill."

"Well, I never had many skills in the kitchen, but that one I haven't lost," Alex said.

"I beg to differ," Olivia said, smirking. "I think you had plenty of skills in the kitchen this morning."

#

"Did you have a big day, buddy?" Ed asked Noah on the drive back home from fishing.

Of course, their day fishing included playing with the worms, both live and rubber ones; Noah laughing at the bobber on the line; skipping rocks; a lunch and two snack breaks; and a few arguments about keeping a life jacket on even though they were fishing from the bank and not the water.

Even so, they still had time to fish and even caught a few; Ed taught Noah the 'catch and release' with the exception of the few he took home for himself to eat. Noah had also learned how to reel the rod in, even though he still needed quite a bit of help. His tendency was to drop the pole as soon as he felt a tug. All and all though, they had a good day of fishing.

"Yep," Noah responded to Ed's question. "We catch big fish."

"We did," Ed said. "A lot of fish, too."

"Are we gonna eat the fish tonight?" Noah asked.

"Well, we brought some with us," Ed said. "But I think your mom will probably already have dinner for you when you get home. But if you can keep some and have her cook them."

"Lex said fish guts was gross," Noah said.

Ed laughed. That didn't surprise him one bit from what he knew about Alex. He wasn't sure why that came up, but he figured Olivia and she had probably talked about what to do with Noah's catch.

"Well, they are pretty gross," Ed said. "So, Noah, how do you like Lex, er Alex?" He caught himself using Noah's words after hearing the boy talk a little bit about Alex that day. Surprisingly, it didn't bother him too much since Noah seemed to like her.

"I like her," Noah said. "Mommy likes her, too."

"Well, that's important," Ed said.

"She makes Mommy laugh," Noah said. Ed chuckled because that was the one thing that did surprise him. Most of his interactions with Alex had been all business, and usually not pleasant. He hadn't been aware she had a humorous bone in her body, but of course, a lot of people could probably say that about him, too, which was far from true.

"That's good," Ed said. "Your Mommy deserves to be happy."

#

Alex was near-elbow deep is ricotta cheese mixture when a knock came on Olivia's door.

"It's probably Noah and Ed," Olivia said. She wasn't sure why she announced it. Alex certainly knew about what time Noah would be home. Maybe it was a heads up in case Alex wanted to make herself scarce. After all, the last time she saw Ed, the temperature dropped a few degrees.

"Thanks for the warning, babe," Alex said, knowing what Olivia was doing. "But I'm ok. I promise."

Olivia shrugged as if to say ok and opened the door. She was immediately greeted by a tackle from Noah telling her about all the fish they caught and how big they were, as he stretched his arms out to show her. Of course, it was more than a bit of exaggeration.

Ed nodded and stepped in carrying a cooler.

"Hi, Lex!" Noah said when he saw Alex step out of the kitchen to greet them, as well. She was going to do her darnedest to get rid of the twinge of jealousy she still felt toward Ed – both with Olivia and Noah.

"Hey, Noah," Alex said, returning his hug. "I hear you caught a lot of fish today."

"We caught…" Noah started then stopped to look at his hands to count, even though he really didn't know how many they had caught. He still held up eight fingers.

"Wow, that is a lot," Alex said. All three adults were smiling at the exciting in the boy.

"Tuck has fish," Noah said, pointing to the cooler.

Ed raised the cooler. "Ah, yes," he said. "Noah said he wanted to eat the fish he caught today. So, if you want to take some, you could wrap it and put it in the freezer and it should keep for a while."

"Well, cleaning the fish is all on you, Liv," Alex said, laughing.

"Yeah, I heard fish guts made 'Lex' a little squeamish," Ed said, giving a cocky, but kind smile to Alex. "But don't worry, I cleaned them before we left the lake. All you'll need to do is cook them."

"Ed, you didn't have to do that," Olivia said. "But thank you anyway. Fish guts make me squeamish, too."

"Can we eat tonight?" Noah asked Olivia.

"Not tonight, Noah," she said. "Alex made lasagna for us tonight. But how about tomorrow?"

"Ok," Noah said. "Can Tuck eat 'sagna too?"

"Oh, um, well," Olivia said, unsure how to respond.

"I can't stay tonight, buddy," Ed said, intervening. "But, another time, ok?"

"Nooooo, I want Tuck to stay," Noah began to whine.

"You know, we have plenty of food," Alex offered. "I mean, I don't see a problem with it."

Both Ed and Olivia looked at Alex with a stunned look.

Olivia again opened her mouth to say something, but was saved by Ed.

"I appreciate the offer, I really do, but maybe another time," Ed said. He bent down to Noah's level and talked to him. "I had a really good time today, Noah, but I have to take my fish home before they smell up your entire apartment. You don't want that, do you?"

Noah shook his head.

"I'll see you soon, I promise," Ed said. "But, remember what we talked about today? How you may not get to see me as much, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. And, you have Alex here with your Mom to play with you, too."

Alex and Olivia's hearts collectively nearly broke. Alex was sure she was about to cry.

Noah nodded that he remembered. "But, hey, we'll always be buddies and you can always call me, ok?" Ed said.

"Ok, Tuck," Noah said. "I love you, too." He gave Ed a hug, then as quickly as he was there, he ran off to the living room to play.

The three adults stood there awkwardly for a moment until Alex spoke up. "I'm just going to go check on Noah for a second. Excuse me." She quickly left the room, feeling it best to give the former couple a few minutes to talk.

"Ed, I…"

Ed shook his head. "It's ok, Liv," he said. "I know I didn't have to. And you know I'll be here for Noah as long as you'll let me be part of his life. But, I also have been told by a birdie how happy a certain blonde makes you. You don't need me complicating that right now."

Olivia nodded, holding back tears as Ed's sincerity and kindness. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," he said. "I mean, even though I'm seeing someone, I'd admit, it's not easy seeing you with someone else. But I know we made the right decision. And I think Alex is great, I really do. So, know I'm always here for Noah…and for you…but, at least for a while, it'll be good for Noah to start looking at Alex like he did me."

Olivia smiled and she couldn't stop herself from giving Ed a tight hug. Alex could see the interaction from the living room, and surprisingly, the twinge of jealousy wasn't there this time; even though Olivia was hugging her former boyfriend. Alex overheard enough of the conversation to know she didn't need to be jealous. In fact, had she been standing over there, she may have even Ed Tucker a hug, too. Of course, that thought was fleeting and she shivered a little thinking about actually doing it.

Olivia closed the door behind Ed when he left and Alex rejoined Olivia in the kitchen.

"So, dinner should be ready in a couple of hours," Alex said. "I hope that's not too late. I will freezer wrap these fish he left."

Olivia stood there staring at Alex as she opened the drawer and got out the freezer wrap. She moved closer and without saying a word, she pulled Alex into a deep, sensual kiss.

"You're amazing," Olivia said when they parted for a moment. Alex smiled back and Olivia kissed her again.

Shortly after, they were interrupted by the sound of laughter and Olivia turned around to see Noah standing at the entrance of the kitchen, laughing and smiling at them.

"Mommy kissed Lex," he said.

"I did," Olivia said. She was pretty sure it was the first time he had seen them kiss. They were still being careful around him, even though Alex was coming around more. "Is that ok with you?"

Noah nodded. "Uh huh," he said. "I love Lex."

"Awww, Noah," Alex said, heart melting. She bent down to him. "I love you, too, Noah." She gave him a hug and again, he took off back to playing.

Alex stood back up next to Olivia. There was an awkwardness between them now that hadn't been there a moment ago. An awkwardness created by the fact that Olivia's son told Alex he loved her before either of the women had even said it to each other – a fact they were both keenly aware of.

"Well, it seems my son has just upped the ante for us," Olivia said.

"Maybe he could give you some tips, because kid's got game; I'll hand it to him," Alex teased.

The rest of the night was spent by the three of them curled up on the couch, watching movies and stuffing themselves on Alex's lasagna.

Olivia had hoped fishing all day would exude all of Noah's energy, but it seems the excitement of it kept him wired well past his normal bedtime. However, she could resist the sight of her son laying his head in Alex's lap as they watched "Toy Story," or the old movie, as Noah called it.

Before the movie was done, both Alex and Noah were asleep on the couch, the three of them tangled up. She couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening than with her adorable son ... and the woman she loved.

* * *

 _A/N: Next up is 4th of July...and the secret with Alex's dad. No one has hit on it quite yet._

 _Also, last you'll see of Tucker for a while that I have planned right now (minus a small scene planned soonish, but not the next one). Depending on how this goes, I have a few things in mind, but nothing definite, and nothing that should be a big part of the story. But, I'm not sure yet. At any rate, the main part of him in this story has passed._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	10. July 4 - Part 1

_A/N: Sorry I missed last night. Day got too long. I should have the second part to this installment tonight. Definitely get some Noah/Lex time. I know you all enjoy it. We'll see even more if it in part 2. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **JULY 4 - PART 1**

"You getting out of here soon, Lieu?" Carisi popped his head in Olivia's office Friday afternoon.

"I'm doing my best," she said.

"Any holiday plans for your time off?" he asked.

"Well, Noah and I are beach-bound," she said. "But we won't be far if you all need anything. Also, make sure you all take some time when you can get it."

They all had split up on-call days during the usually long weekend. July 4 fell on a Tuesday this year, which meant a lot of people would be celebrating Friday night through Tuesday – a 4-day weekend. Even the courts scheduled very little for Monday the 3rd, even if the 4th was the official day off for everyone. Alex was easily able to get her time off. Olivia had the luxury of going away, but she never knew when a case would come.

"Will do," Carisi said. "I'm heading out, too. Have a good weekend at the beach," he said. Her squad, aside from Fin's suspicions, still didn't know about her and Alex. It wouldn't be a problem if they did, but she wasn't the most forthcoming about her personal life. She reasoned it wouldn't matter who she was dating, at this stage, she probably wouldn't share that with them just a couple months into it.

Carisi turned to leave and Rollins picked up her bag to walk out with him, telling everyone goodbye as well.

"No so fast," Fin said, hanging up the phone. He didn't need to say anything, as the look on his face said everything – there was a victim.

Olivia stepped out of her office as the three of them looked around. "You know what? Fin, you and I can handle this one, right?"

"Sure thing," he said.

"Rollins, you and Carisi get out of here. We'll call if you if need you," she said.

"But what about the beach and Noah?" Carisi asked.

"I'll worry about that," Olivia said. "You two deserve at least the night off. If there is anything that needs to be done tomorrow, we'll let you handle it since you're on call anyway."

"This one sounds pretty straight forward," Fin said. "At least according to arresting officer."

"Good," Olivia said. "I'll head to the hospital. I want everyone to get a little bit of time off this weekend."

"Thanks, Liv," Rollins said. "We'll handle everything tomorrow."

Olivia texted Alex and Lucy on her way to the hospital to let them know what was up. Alex offered to relieve Lucy, who was going out of town herself for the weekend. Olivia hesitantly agreed. It wasn't that she didn't trust Alex with Noah – she did. But Alex hadn't been alone with Noah very long, and Olivia wasn't sure how long she'd be. She was hoping it wasn't one of the times he decided to be rebellious.

While Olivia was at the hospital, Fin picked up the suspect from the crime scene and brought him back to the precinct. By the time she returned, Fin was waiting on her so they could talk to him.

"He's being stubborn," Fin said. "Doesn't want a lawyer, but doesn't want to talk."

"Well, that's his right, I suppose," Olivia said.

"Sorry about your weekend, Liv," Fin said.

"It's fine," Olivia said. "Not a big deal. Just beach time with Noah. We still have plenty of days."

"Just Noah, huh?" Fin questioned.

Olivia looked away, not answering. "Ready to talk to this creep?"

Fin nodded, and as they were about to head in, Olivia's phone rang.

"Ah, I need to take this," Olivia said. Alex was calling and Olivia was hoping Noah hadn't already scared her off. "Give me five?"

"Sure thing, Liv," Fin said. "He's in no hurry." He grinned as Olivia walked away, as he was certain he saw Alex's name pop up on her screen before answering.

Noah hadn't scared Alex off, quite the opposite. Apparently, he was being the adorable boy he liked to be whenever Olivia wasn't around. Alex had a proposition for Olivia, though.

"Listen, I was thinking, if you're ok with it, what about Noah and I head out to Dad's in a bit? That way, you can focus on work and not worry about us being stuck here," Alex said. Olivia, in her original text to Alex had apologized profusely for delaying their trip, even though she knew Alex understood.

"Ah…um…well, I don't mind you taking Noah, of course, but that's a lot of responsibility," Olivia said. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to do it," Alex said.

"Babe, I may not be able to come until morning," Olivia said. "This guy is pretty clearly guilty but won't say a word and doesn't want a lawyer. I have a feeling when we do talk to him, he's going to drag it out."

"Then I'll keep Noah tonight," Alex said. "I'm sure between me and Dad, we can figure out a 3-and-a-half-year-old."

"You don't have a car seat," Olivia said.

"So, how about I come and get yours?" Alex said.

Olivia thought for a minute. It would make it easier to not have to worry about Noah tonight, or feel bad for keeping Alex from time with her Dad. And she trusted Alex completely.

"Ok, but what about we just swap cars, if you're ok with that," Olivia said. "Getting those seats in properly is a pain in the ass."

"Then it's settled," Alex said. "I'll get Noah packed up."

"He's already packed," Olivia said. "I did it this morning, but he will need to pick out a few toys. But not too many. He's very indecisive about which ones, so give him a number like 3 or something."

Alex laughed. "Ok," she said. "We'll see you soon and I'll drop off dinner for you and whoever is there with you."

"Fin," Olivia said.

"Good," Alex said. "At least I vaguely remember what he likes."

"You're the best, Alex," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said. "Just don't forget it."

#

A couple of hours later, after getting almost nowhere with their suspect, a patrol officer called to say they were bringing by a couple of witnesses soon who saw and heard parts of the assault.

"Let's get him ready for a lineup," Olivia said. "Hopefully they can ID him and it'll change his tune."

"I'll have the unis to get it and him ready," Fin said. "In the meantime, I'll put him back in the holding cell until the witnesses get here."

"Good," Olivia said. "And get Barba down here for the lineup and a public defender so it can't be called into question."

"How prudent of you?" Olivia and Fin turned around to see Alex speaking and her and Noah carrying take-out Chinese food.

"Hey, um, thanks for the food," Olivia said. She had realized Fin would only have more questions by Alex and Noah showing up, with dinner, but since it was just Fin, she didn't mind too much. "You can put it in my office and we may have some time in just a minute to eat with you, if you want."

"I was hoping as much," Alex said. "Fin, if I recall you like orange chicken?"

"Good memory," Fin said. He eyed both women suspiciously.

Alex and Noah went to Olivia's office and Fin and Olivia finished up their discussion about the lineup.

"So, um, Liv, I have to ask…" Fin finally said. "I mean, I'm not nosey like some people around here, but is there something going on with you and Cabot?"

Olivia took in a deep breath, then let it out and smiled. She simply nodded yes.

"Good for you," Fin said. "It's about damn time."

"What?" Olivia asked amused.

"Oh, come on, Liv," Fin said. "We were all pretty sure you were dating or at ya know… back in the day."

"I can assure you, we weren't doing either," Olivia said.

"I believe you," he said. "But, you know, good for you and Cabot. You both deserve it."

"Thanks, Fin," Olivia said. "I'm happy, so we'll see how it all works. We're going to her dad's beach house this weekend."

"How did this come about, if you don't mind me askin'?" Fin asked in a rare moment of Fin digging a little more.

Olivia paused for a moment, but decided, out of anyone, she could talk to Fin.

"Well, remember that week off I took a couple of months ago?" Olivia said. "We just happened to run into each other and she had some time off, so…I don't know. We just kind of fell into this."

"I knew it," Fin said. "Well, I'm happy for ya. Some things are just meant to be."

Olivia chuckled in response to the slightly sentimental Fin, and the two of them joined Alex and Noah for a quick dinner in her office before the witnesses showed up.

#

"Daddy," Alex said, giving a hug to her dad when they came in the door at the beach house.

"Alex, glad you made it. I was starting to worry," John Cabot said, giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek. "And this must be Noah?"

He bent down and stuck his hand out for Noah to shake. Noah stuck out his hand after dropping his little rolling backpack behind him.

"Where's Olivia?" John asked after he stood back up.

"She's got a case this afternoon," Alex said. "She'll be here later tonight or in the morning. Probably morning."

"So, she just left you with the kid, huh?" John said. He was laughing, but Alex could tell it was an off-handed comment disguised as a joke.

"No, I offered," Alex replied firmly. She eyed him, giving him a silent warning and hoping he didn't make any other comments in front of Noah. She still wondered what his issue with Olivia specifically was.

"Well, have you two had dinner?" John said, tone changing back to friendly.

"We ate with Olivia before we left," Alex said.

"Ok, then, I'm sure this guy would love some ice cream then," John said, looking down to Noah. "What do you say, Noah?"

"Yeah!" Noah said.

Alex shook her head. It was a little late for ice cream, but it was a holiday weekend and if a small bowl would keep her dad from snide remarks, she was all for it.

She put their luggage away while John and Noah went to the kitchen to fix the ice cream, with a warning from Alex not to give Noah too much this close to bedtime.

"So, Noah, I have chocolate, vanilla and mint chocolate chip," John said, pulling all three containers out of the freezer. "What do you like?"

"Chocolate," Noah exclaimed.

"Simple man like me," John grinned. He scooped a small amount for Noah and himself of the chocolate ice cream, then another bowl of mint chocolate chip for Alex.

Alex smiled when she returned. John was good about always having her favorite ice cream on hand when she visited.

"Can you tell me how old you are, Noah?" John asked as they were all sitting and eating their ice cream.

Noah held up three chocolate covered fingers.

"Three," Noah said. "Almost four?" He looked to Alex for confirmation. He had clearly practiced his age with Olivia and Alex.

"Yes, Noah," Alex said. "Four in December."

"You know, I remember when Alexandra was your age," John said.

Noah gave him a funny look as if he didn't know who he was talking about.

"That's me, Noah," Alex said. "My full name is Alexandra." She then looked up to John. "He has probably only heard me called Alex. Or, as he says it, Lex."

"I see," John said "Well, Noah, when 'Lex' was your age she was the meanest little girl you ever met."

Noah's eyes got big. "You know her then?"

"Yep," John said. "I'm her dad. Like Olivia is your mom."

"You were little?" Noah asked Alex.

"So I'm told," Alex said. She wasn't sure she liked where this story was going.

"Anyway, she would go around the neighborhood pulling other kids' hair when she got mad," he said. Noah laughed a big hearty laugh. "Other times, she'd go and try to kiss all the little boys."

"Lex kiss mommy," Noah said and John laughed.

Alex blushed then changed the subject. "Noah, why don't you tell him about our trip to the zoo?"

Noah's eyes got big and excited again, remembering the trip from a few weeks ago. "We saw bears!" he said. "Lex lift me up so I could see."

"What color bears?" John asked.

"The white ones," Noah said.

"Polar bears," Alex added.

"Brown ones too," Noah said. "Then the tiger went ROAR!"

"Yeah, and tried to pee on us, too," Alex said. Noah giggled again. "Oh, boy, I'm going to regret letting you give him ice cream."

John shrugged. "Well, since I don't have any grandkids…yet…I have to spoil someone," he said.

"Noah, I think it's your bedtime," Alex said. "How about you go pick out which story you want tonight and I'll be right there to read to you."

"Ok, Lex," Noah said. He hopped down from his chair, stopping only long enough for Alex to clean the chocolate off his face and ran to the room where Alex had put his backpack and toys.

Alex went to pick up their bowls to wash out, but John stopped her. "I'll get it, sweetheart," he said. "You go take care of Noah."

Alex nodded. She hadn't asked him the question she wanted to ask and she had brushed it off since their phone call as misreading his tone. But after his comment when they arrived, she knew she hadn't misread it.

"Daddy, why don't you like Olivia?" Alex said.

"What makes you think I don't like her?" John asked.

"Don't do that. Don't answer my question with a question. You were off when I told you about her, then you made a snide comment tonight at the door. So, tell me why?" Alex asked.

John hesitated for a moment. "I…I am just protective of my baby girl," he said. "I'm not supposed to like the people you bring home, remember?"

"That's a bullshit answer and you know it," Alex said. "I'm well beyond a child. Good grief, I'll be 50 in a few years."

John just shrugged and took their bowls to the sink to rinse out. Alex was about to challenge him again when she heard Noah call out for her.

"Lex! I'm ready. I picked my stories," Noah said.

"You better go," John said. "Noah's calling for you."

Alex gave her a father a glare, still not believing him, but not wanting to keep Noah waiting any longer.

"Fine," she said. "But we will talk about this. Also, Olivia will be here later. She texted when she was leaving. So, if I'm still in there with Noah, do you think you could be grownup enough to let her in?"

"I think I can manage," John said, matching Alex's tone back. Like father, like daughter.

#

After reading a couple of stories to Noah and trying not to be too angry at her father, Alex was about to tuck Noah in and wait on Olivia.

"Lex?" Noah said. "I sleep with you and Mommy?"

Alex smiled. Noah had never shared the bed with them. Heck, Alex hadn't even stayed overnight at Olivia's yet since they officially started dating, as they were being careful thus far.

"Well, I'm not sure when your Mom will be here, but how about this: I'll lay down with you right now until you go to sleep. Is that ok?" Alex asked.

Noah nodded and Alex laid down next to her. Noah curled up against her like he did when they all snuggled on the couch for a movie – a movie where Noah and Alex nearly always fell asleep leaving Olivia to watch.

This time was no different. By the time Noah fell asleep, Alex was sound asleep next to him.

Olivia arrived a short time later, greeted by John at the door and still not knowing he disapproved of her.

"Olivia."

"Hello, Mr. Cabot," Olivia said. "I'm sorry I'm so late."

"It's fine," he said.

"Is Alex around?" Olivia asked.

"Last I saw she was reading a bedtime story to Noah," he said. "But it's been pretty quiet for a while. Third door on the right."

Olivia nodded and made her way down the hall to the bedroom. When she slowly pushed the door open, she saw Alex and Noah both sound asleep, book still in Alex's hand. Olivia stopped at the door and smiled as she watched them, deciding not to disturb them yet. She'd wake Alex after she got changed and ready for bed.

"They're quite a sight, aren't they?" John said softly from behind Olivia.

"They are," Olivia said. "My two favorite people." She was grinning ear to ear. She pulled the door closed and followed John back into the living room.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked. "Scotch? Wine?"

"After the night I've had, a scotch sounds wonderful," Olivia said.

John moved over to a small bar area and poured them both a couple fingers of scotch from a bottle that probably cost more than Olivia's apartment rent. He handed her a glass, then sat down.

"Have a seat," he said. "You and I have a few things to talk about."

* * *

 _A/N 2: Don't kill me! It was either this now, or waiting until late tonight. I needed to break it up somewhere, but on the plus side, you'll know why in the next chapter. Thanks for reading. Glad you all are enjoying mature Liv/Alex and Lex/Noah stuff._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	11. July 4 - Part 2

_A/N: As promised... Sorry for the cliffhanger, but sometimes it's fitting and necessary. But here you go...some answers and pretty intense moments._

* * *

 **JULY 4 - PART 2**

" _Have a seat," he said. "You and I have a few things to talk about."_

Olivia slowly sat down, caught off guard by what felt like it was getting ready to be an interrogation – an interrogation where she wasn't asking the questions. She clenched her teeth and nervously swallowed.

John took a swig of his drink, then sat it down, leaned forward and looked at Olivia. Olivia was familiar with the technique.

"I take it Alex already told you that I wasn't exactly thrilled when she told me you two were dating," John said.

Olivia cocked her head to the side and gave him a weird look. Alex hadn't told her that and now she was even more nervous than she was a few minutes ago when she expected just a "you hurt her, I hurt you," talk from the elder Cabot.

"Um, no, she hasn't," Olivia said. "Have I done something to offend you?"

John laughed, picked up his drink and finished it before pouring another glass. Olivia followed suit. She had a feeling she would need it. He tilted the bottle toward her glass and she lifted her glass for a refill.

"You know, at one point, Alex's mother, Caroline, and I were certain our daughter had feelings for you," he said. "In fact, Caroline often subtly encouraged it because from meeting you, and what we knew about you, we knew you cared deeply for Alex. We could see it."

Olivia nodded. "I do care about her. I always have," she said.

"I believe that you do, but…" John said, then paused, leaving Olivia holding her breath. He took another sip, smaller this time. "Losing Alex to Witness Protection was the worst thing our family ever experienced. I hope you never have to experience losing a child. I spent some time with Noah tonight. He's a great kid. All kids are. But a parent should never have to bury their children."

Olivia grew more nervous. She was starting to see where this was going.

"I can't imagine your pain," she said.

"Don't get me wrong," he said. "Finding out my daughter was alive was…well, surreal. It's not something you ever consider and I've made sure to not waste a single moment with her since then. But Alex's mother…"

Olivia dropped her head.

"Caroline never recovered from that. She cried daily. She stopped eating. She stopped going out. She stopped caring. And while she tried – for Alex – to go on…she couldn't. Losing Alex killed her. The stress it put on her body, her heart, she just couldn't carry on."

Olivia stayed quiet, despite wanting to vomit. Even still, she took another drink…maybe it would numb her emotions for the next few minutes.

"You came to Alex's funeral," he said. "You and your partner – Stabler was it?" Olivia nodded. "I think all of SVU was there and Caroline and I were so touched by how much Alex mean to your unit, and how devastated everyone was by losing her. Your Captain nearly broke down in tears when he was talking to me about her.

"But you and Stabler remained stoic. Numb, even. I just figured you were in shock. I mean, you were there that night. I'm sure you even felt guilty for not protecting Alex," he said. _Ouch._ Olivia felt a stabbing pain in her side.

"Caroline and I never blamed you, though," he said. "I know you're a good cop. I respect what you all do and how you put your lives on the line for people every day. I have no doubt you and Stabler would have done that for Alex. I never blamed you, and I still don't."

Olivia nodded, she was doing her best to hold back tears. "I would have," she whispered.

"But…there is one thing I haven't been able to get over yet, and to be honest, I don't know how I can," he said. "You knew Alex was alive, you and your partner. You knew the entire time that she was alive. You came to her funeral. You expressed your sympathies for our LOSS. You basically lied to our face.

"And you…you and your partner…you are partially responsible for her mother's death," he said. "You could have said something. You could have told us. Why is it that you got to have that peace and not her parents? And how on earth could you wake up and look yourself in the mirror knowing how we were suffering – an emotional suffering greater than most anything else."

"I…um…," Olivia was at a loss for words.

"Olivia was protecting me."

Both John and Olivia turned around, surprised to see Alex standing near the entryway of the room. She heard everything.

"And how dare you question her?" Alex said.

"Alex, it's ok," Olivia said. "He has a point."

"No, he doesn't," Alex said. "Daddy, Olivia didn't tell you because she was protecting me – and you and mom."

"We didn't need protecting," he said. "We would have taken any risk to know you were safe."

"And jeopardize your own safety?" Alex said. "Who knows how long Velez was watching you and mom?"

"It would have been worth it," he said.

"What, so Velez could have killed mom and not my 'death'?" Alex said. "Olivia and Elliot couldn't tell you. Hell, they didn't even tell Casey when they arrested Connors in court for my murder. They perjured themselves for my safety."

"Yeah, and jeopardized your safety in the process making you come out of hiding," John retorted.

"Would you have rather me stayed dead those next few years until I was able to leave?" Alex said. "Would you have rather not known I was alive?"

"I would have rather known you were alive in the first place!" John said, tears began to fall. "And Olivia could have changed that. SHE could have said something. You mother would still be here if she would have said something."

Olivia began to quietly hyperventilate. Not obviously, but she was sure she was about to throw up or pass out.

"You don't know that," Alex said. "Heart problems runs in mom's family. You know that. And yes, it would have been easier knowing I was alive, but how much stress do you think it would have caused her knowing she still had to worry about me every single day, and wouldn't even be able to talk to me or see me to know I was ok? I mean, it caused me stress. I looked over my shoulder every moment of every day. Do you think that constant fear for my life would have been any better for mom?"

John got up and put the scotch bottle back on the shelf, sitting is glass down and standing with his back to Alex and Olivia.

"Daddy, I know this was traumatizing for you and for mom," Alex said. "I miss her every day and I'd do anything to have one more moment with her. But it's not Olivia's fault and you know that. Look, we all were traumatized by this. I know you were. I was. Olivia was, too, for that matter."

"I just…" John started but Alex cut him off.

"No, listen to me," Alex said. "I love you, but…I also love Olivia. I'm in love with her. And, if I'm lucky enough, my future will be with her…and Noah."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. Suddenly she felt less sick, but no less in shock at Alex saying she was in love with her.

"I'm sorry," John said. He sounded sincere, if not also defeated. "It's just when I found out you were alive, I couldn't believe it. And then I found out that Olivia knew and I felt…betrayed. All of the pain and anger I felt at the entire situation just…I guess projected toward her from that moment on."

"Why didn't you say something then? I mean, when I talked to you, basically told you how I felt about Olivia when I found out I had to leave again. I even left her letter with you to give her," Alex said.

"Wait…what letter?" Olivia asked.

Alex's head snapped toward Olivia, a bewildered look, then a moment of realization that turned to anger. She turned back to John who was looking at the floor.

"You never gave her the letter," Alex said matter-of-factly.

"I couldn't," he said. "I couldn't bear to even look at her and her partner."

Now it was Alex's turn to hyperventilate. "Oh, my god," Alex said. "All this time…and you never gave it to her?"

"What letter?" Olivia questioned again.

Alex finally turned back to Olivia, and took a deep breath. "I…I wrote you a letter before I left for witness protection the second time, before I went to Georgia," she said. "I…well, I said some things that…didn't expressly tell you how I felt, but I left instructions for how you could contact me if you wanted….and when you didn't…well…"

"I didn't know," Olivia said. "I thought you just left…without saying goodbye."

John suddenly realized what he had done. What that letter could have meant for the both of them.

"Allie…I'm…I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" John said.

Alex was in tears and Olivia nearly was.

"I want to go to bed," Alex said. "We can talk about this tomorrow, Daddy."

"I'd like that," he said. "I really am sorry, Alexandra. I didn't do it to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you."

"Yeah, kind of like Olivia wanted to protect me," Alex snapped. "We're going to bed now."

John nodded and Olivia followed Alex out of the room and into their bedroom.

#

Alex quietly got ready for bed and Olivia followed suit. There was no talking, just silence. When they were done, they crawled into bed.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Olivia said. She wasn't sure what "this" mean, since there was a lot they now needed to talk about.

Alex shook her head. "I don't have the emotional energy tonight," she said. "Is that ok? If we wait until tomorrow."

"Of course, sweetheart," Olivia said gently. She pressed her lips to Alex's forehead and gave her a kiss. Alex closed her eyes when Olivia kissed her.

"Just one thing, though," Olivia continued and Alex opened her eyes. "I'm in love with you, too, Alex."

Alex smiled and put her head on Olivia's shoulder, relaxing into the detective's arms for the night.

#

After Alex and Olivia had left John alone in the living room, he poured another glass of scotch – this one bigger. He slowly nursed it over the next half hour, thinking about how badly he had screwed up; how misplaced his anger was.

He knew it wasn't all anger though. He was sad. He missed his wife and he never knew how to deal with it. He'd loss Alex, then he lost Caroline. His entire world was taken from him for a time.

Alex being alive should have been enough for him, he knew that. But it wasn't. In all that time, he had let his world collapse and grew bitter day by day at everything. When Alex came home, for good, he slowly moved out of that, but he had held on so long to this phantom blame on Olivia that he hadn't even realized how wrong he had been.

John knew he had to fix it – he would never risk losing Alex again. He just never anticipated this situation. When he finished his drink, he got up and went straight to his office. He sat down at his desk and opened his top right hand drawer, then his middle center drawer. He pulled out a small key from the center drawer, shut it, then reached into the right-side drawer.

He had a large lockbox in there and unlocked it. He looked down in there. His gun was there. The gun he'd never even used aside from firing it at the range a handful of times over 10 years ago. He looked down in the lockbox then reached in and pulled out an envelope bundled with several other envelopes and documents – all things Alex would need when he died someday. His will, estate information, bank information, passwords. He'd always been prepared; always had his affairs in order for Alex and Caroline, then just for Alex.

After Alex left for witness protection again, however, John added something to that pile of documents – the letter Alex given him to make sure Olivia got. He kept it. He wasn't sure why. He always knew Alex would be angry with him, but he assumed, the day he died, that Alex would be married to someone else and it wouldn't matter.

John reached in and pulled out the envelope. He locked the lockbox back up and closed the drawer. He'd never read the letter, and he wasn't going to start now. It was still sealed.

He waited a while longer, then, after he was sure the two women were sleeping, he slipped it under the bedroom door.

The plain white envelope lay on the floor, blue ink, very obviously in Alex's handwriting. All it said was "Liv."

* * *

 _A/N: There will be more July 4 weekend - Alex and dad have to make up; and we have to have more Lex/Noah time, right? :-) Perhaps Olivia and Alex will get some "adult" time, too. Oh yeah, you'll find out what was in that letter._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	12. July 4 - Part 3

_A/N: Extra long since I missed yesterday. There is a lot to break down from the last chapter, so I try to cover it._

 _Someone asked a good question of something I failed to property communicate. In Ch. 2, I said, "_ _Olivia had never dated a woman, not really at least"_ _,_ _f, then in Ch 4 I said she had never told Alex about the time she dated women. In my mind, which didn't translate to here very well, I mean in the first mention more of relationships. Olivia hadn't had an actual relationship (you're my girlfriend, etc...) with a woman (hence, the "not really at least"), and I didn't clear it up well enough in Ch. 4, when I was talking about more of "dates" versus "dating." That's my fault (i'm gonna go back and clear it up)._

 _So, just so we're all clear, Olivia had been out with women before...on dates...but had never been in an actual relationship with a woman (like Cassidy, Tucker, etc...). Hope that clears up any confusion._

* * *

 **JULY 4 - PART 3**

About two hours after Olivia and Alex went to bed, the detective was woke by the sounds of Noah on the monitor crying. She moved to get up but Alex woke up after hearing Noah crying again.

"What's wrong?" a sleepy Alex asked.

"It's just Noah," Olivia said. "Go back to sleep. I'll get him." She reached over and turned the baby monitor off so as to not keep Alex awake when she went in to talk to Noah. Noah didn't need a baby monitor, hadn't used one in a while, but since they were in a different place, Olivia had packed it for this exact scenario. Waking up in a new place sometimes scared Noah since it rarely happened, especially if he wasn't sleeping with Olivia.

Olivia scooted over to the door, stepping on the envelop John had slid under it. She looked down, saw her name on it and picked it up. It immediately recognized Alex's handwriting, but knew it couldn't have come from the blonde that night. _It must be the letter._

She wanted to open it, but figured it was best to wait until Alex woke up, let her decide. She kept the letter in her hand, then went in to check on Noah.

"Hey, baby, it's ok," Olivia said. "We're at Lex's house at the beach, remember?"

Noah sniffled a little, but calmed down when he saw Olivia come into the room.

"Lex?" he asked.

"Yes, she's sleeping in the other bed," Olivia said.

Noah nodded and Olivia laid down with him for a few minutes. It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep. Olivia stayed there a little longer, then got back up.

She still had the letter in hand and made her way into the kitchen for a glass of water. She had so many questions, so many emotions, and she hadn't slept well at all. Olivia filled a glass with water, trying to be quiet. She turned when she heard someone come into the kitchen behind her.

"It's just me," John said. "I didn't want to startle you."

Olivia nodded, unsure what to say to the man who had only a few hours ago, blamed his wife's death on her. She wasn't angry with him though, part of her understood him. Part of her had always felt guilty for never telling Alex's parents, especially when she learned about Caroline's death.

"You didn't," Olivia said.

John walked over and poured a glass of water for himself. He looked down on the island in the kitchen and saw the letter.

"You open it?" John said.

Olivia shook her head. "No. I figured I should let Alex make that decision."

John nodded toward the living room and Olivia followed him into the same living room where everything had hit the fan earlier in the night. They both sat down; both defeated.

"I owe you an apology," he said. "I've been sitting up all night, thinking about what Alex said, and she's right. My blame was misplaced."

"You were grieving," Olivia said. "And, I mean, it's not like I knew you felt that way until tonight."

"You're being too forgiving," John said.

"Maybe, but…I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd felt guilty about it before," Olivia said. "I don't know how you felt, how it feels to lose your child and your spouse, but I can only imagine the pain you were in. And you were right, I had information that could have changed things."

"And so did I," John said, nodding to the letter.

"Well, I guess we both made decisions we have to live with," Olivia said. "But, I want you to know, I love your daughter. So, maybe I'm too forgiving, but it's a small price to pay for Alex to have a relationship with her father."

"Do you have a good relationship with your dad?" John asked. He didn't know that part of Olivia's background; there's no reason he would.

"I…I never knew my father," Olivia said. "And my mother is deceased."

"Ah," he said. "I remember that about your mother. I'm sorry, I didn't know or I wouldn't have asked about your father."

"It's fine," she said. "It's a long story."

"Well, you're a parent," he said. "And I'm sure there isn't anything you wouldn't do for Noah."

Olivia nodded.

"I'm not making excuses, and I know I was wrong, but hear me out," John said. "If, god-forbid, something ever happened to Noah and you believed he had died…then, years later, you found out he wasn't dead. He was alive, he was well, and there was a very small group of people who knew – one of Noah's friends, let's say – how would you feel?"

Olivia took a deep breath. She would be angry. Mama bear would come out. She would probably hate that person.

"I would be angry," Olivia admitted. "But, I would hope, maybe, I would try to understand why."

"I did try to understand why," John said. "But, at the end of the day, Caroline and I lost all of those years believing she was dead."

Olivia sighed. She really did understand.

"But, Alex was right," he said. "Caroline knowing Alex was alive, but still in danger would have cause as much stress as Alex being dead – maybe more. So, looking back…I made the wrong decision to be angry at you and your partner.

"In fact, after sitting here tonight, I probably owe you a round of gratitude for always putting Alex's life and safety first," John said.

"I always will," Olivia said. "And I think we can move past this. I am sorry for not telling you, but…"

"I understand," he said.

"You know, that night she was shot she was with us. I'm sure you know that," Olivia said. "Laying on the sidewalk with Alex, watching her slip away; then being told she had died…I wanted to turn in my badge. I felt like I had failed. If I couldn't protect Alex, someone I secretly wanted a future with, I figured I was no good to anyone."

"I'm glad you didn't," John said. "It sounds like you have made a big difference during your time at SVU."

The two sat quietly for a few minutes before John spoke up again.

"I owe you another apology, too," he said. "I don't know what is in that letter, but I knew enough from the way Alex talked about you that…well, I should have never denied you that letter and the opportunity for the two of you. If I lost years thinking Alex was dead, I took even more years from you and Alex. For that, I have no excuse or justification. I went against the wishes of my daughter and let my own pain make decisions."

Olivia nodded. "I…I accept your apology." She couldn't tell him she understood on that one, because it angered her that he took that decision away from Alex. "And I forgive you. Alex and I may have lost some time, but…we're here now and that's what is important."

"Well, let's just hope Alex can forgive me," he said.

When they were done talking, Olivia finished her water and went back to bed. The took the letter and put it next to Alex on the night stand. When the ADA woke up, she could decide about what to do with it, and her father.

#

 _Liv,_

 _I'm supposed to be there telling you all goodbye. The marshal's say there is still a threat, so they are relocating me, even if everyone knows I'm alive now._

 _And I should be there, saying goodbye, even getting a chance to hug you this time. But I can't._

 _I can't tell you goodbye again because it broke my heart last time. There were so many things I wanted to tell you that night at the river, things about how I felt about you, and still feel, how much I care about you. Things I should have told you so much sooner._

 _But, even if I didn't have the strength to look into your eyes and say goodbye again, it doesn't have to be goodbye completely this time. I insisted this time (because as Hammond says, I'm a pain in the ass). I insisted, since I'm "alive," that I have a way to communicate with some people. My dad, of course; and you, if you want._

 _I can't have communication for two months, but after that time, call Hammond. He can set up a secure channel for occasional short messages. I'll be eagerly awaiting._

 _This isn't forever, Liv. It can't be forever. But, now that I know the full value of life…I don't want to waste a moment being afraid of my feelings._

 _Love,_

 _Alex_

When Olivia woke up again, Alex was sitting on the side of the bed. The brunette could hear sniffles and knew Alex was crying. When she sat up, she saw the opened letter in Alex's hand.

Olivia moved to sit next to Alex and the blonde, saying nothing, handed the letter to Olivia to read.

Olivia cried, too.

"We can talk about this later," Alex said. "When it's just the two of us. Maybe when Noah naps later?"

Olivia nodded. "I talked to your dad last night. He was still awake when I got up with Noah."

"I know," Alex said. "I could hear talking. I figured that's what it was."

"What are you going to do? With your dad?" Olivia said.

"I don't know," Alex said. "I'm so angry with him…but, he's also all I have."

"Well, I think you should talk to him," Olivia said. "But, he's not all you have. You have me and Noah." Olivia smiled and took Alex's hands. She lifted the blonde's hand up to her lips and kissed it.

"Let's go make some coffee, then maybe I'll have the strength to face this day," Alex said. "The weather is supposed to be perfect today. We should take Noah to the beach, unless he prefers the pool."

Olivia nodded and smiled. "Sounds good. But if you need some privacy with your dad to talk, I'm sure Noah and I can entertain ourselves. Maybe we'll stop by and see Claire."

"I'm sure she would love that," Alex said. "And thank you, Olivia. Thank you for being here, for not being bitter toward my dad, for giving us a chance after all these years. For just always being here for me and looking out for me."

"Always," Olivia said.

"Ok, let's get that coffee," Alex said. "Then we'll figure out the rest of the day and time for me to talk to dad, and later, time for you and me to talk."

When they left the bedroom, Noah was still sleeping and John had cooked breakfast for everyone. Alex wasn't even aware he knew how to cook; she knew he was trying hard to smooth things over.

"So, um, what's the plan for the day?" John asked.

Alex looked to Olivia, who was cleaning up breakfast off Noah's face. "Well, I was thinking, Noah said he'd like to get in the pool. Maybe I can get him ready and stick around here to swim this morning. We have plenty of time for the beach still."

Olivia didn't have to say anything. She was freeing up Alex to spend time with her dad, if she wanted to. Alex took the cue.

"Maybe, Daddy, you and I can go pick up some stuff to make burgers for dinner?" Alex said.

John quickly agreed, grateful Alex even wanted to spend time with him.

#

Olivia and Noah went to visit with Claire before getting in the pool. Alex and John did plan to go to the store, but before that, they drove to a diner for more coffee and an opportunity to talk.

By the time they returned about two hours later, Noah was just about to get out of the pool, having tired himself and Olivia out from all the splashing and the repeated jumps into the pool.

Olivia was just drying him off when Alex joined them out on the back patio and pool area.

"Lex! I go swimming!" Noah said, running over to grab Alex, drenched and all.

"I see that," Alex said, crouching down to him. "Did you have fun?"

Noah nodded yes. "You go swimming with me?"

"I sure will," Alex said. "How about at the beach tomorrow?"

"Ok," Noah said.

"Noah, why don't you sit in one of the chairs while you dry off before you go inside?" Olivia said. "You can sit over here by me."

Noah went toward Olivia, but not before grabbing Alex's hand. "You come sit, too."

When Olivia saw that, she promptly moved to the double lounge chair so Noah and Alex could both sit with her.

"Noah, you're starting to get a little red. Let's get some more sunscreen on you, buddy," Alex said after Noah plopped down in her lap. Olivia handed the bottle to Alex who quickly began to put the cream on Noah.

Olivia smiled in amusement at how motherly Alex was. It was a side of the ADA Olivia had never really seen until recently, a side Olivia grew to love more and more each day.

"What's that look for?" Alex asked when she look over and saw Olivia's face.

"Nothing," Olivia grinned.

Alex smiled anyway, even without an answer. She knew Olivia loved her softer side and Alex herself was becoming more comfortable with it the more time she spent with Olivia and Noah.

"Mommy, can I go play?" Noah asked.

"Ok, but stay under the patio where we can see you," Olivia said. "Away from the pool."

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said. He got up, grabbed a pool noodle and went to the corner of the patio.

"How are things with your dad?" Olivia asked once Noah was out of earshot. "Where is he by the way?"

"He was going to get the burgers ready, then fix sandwiches for lunch for everyone," Alex said. "And things are…going to be ok."

"For what it's worth, he wasn't completely wrong about everything," Olivia said. "I mean, if it was Noah…"

"Don't do that, Liv," Alex said. "Don't blame yourself. He and I talked about that part of it. I understand where he's coming from, but it doesn't change the fact that it wasn't your decision."

"Ok," Olivia said. "Just know that I don't hold a grudge…about any of it."

"I know you don't, even though I wouldn't blame you," Alex said. "Anyway, we talk and I tried to understand, and on some levels, I do. I have a harder time with…the letter."

Olivia just nodded. She understood. She had a hard time with it, too.

"But, I love my dad and I know he's not perfect," Alex said. "I mean, he really screwed up and I'm not completely over it, and won't be for a while, but…we'll get there. He knows where I stand."

"I'm glad," Olivia said.

"I mean, if I was younger, or had known about it at the time," Alex said. "Well, let's just say my response would have been much harsher. But…family is important. I know that and I'm all he has left."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and tilted her head to the side, looking in Alex's eyes. "You know, I'm pretty sure my son is in love with you. You're all he talked about while you were gone this morning," Olivia said.

"And his mom? Is she still in love with me?" Alex teased.

"Oh yes, I am so in love with you," Olivia said. She leaned forward and gave Alex a kiss. It was a kiss that last longer than they would normally kiss with Noah around and the threat of Alex's dad walking in, but in that moment, they didn't care.

It was interrupted again by the sounds of Noah giggling. "You kiss!"

"Yes, buddy, we did," Olivia said. "Is that ok?"

"Yes," Noah said. He grabbed another toy from underneath the lounge chair and went back to playing.

"So, Noah laughs a lot when we kiss," Alex said. "I think I'm going to get a complex."

"I have no idea why he does that," Olivia said. "He never did that with me and Ed."

"Ok, rule number one: while I'm completely ok with him being part of Noah's life and you all being friendly, please don't ever mention kissing Ed Tucker in front of me again," Alex said, laughing. It was obvious she wasn't made about it, though.

"Sorry about that," Olivia said, embarrassed at the dumb thing she said. "No more talking of kissing…anyone else."

#

After dinner, John spent time getting to know Noah a little better. He suggested the two of them watch a movie, letting Noah pick it out, so Alex and Olivia could spend some time together. He knew the two of them would need to talk about the letter eventually.

"Don't worry, I've done this before," John said.

"It's been a while, Daddy," Alex said. "A long while."

"It's like riding a bike," John said. "Besides, Olivia already gave him a bath. Noah and I will watch a movie, I'll read him a story or two, and put him to bed."

Olivia and Alex agreed and a little after dark, the two of them headed outside for a stroll on the beach, hand-in-hand.

After a while of walking without much talking about anything of consequence, Alex suggested they sit. She knew the talk they were about to have was going to be a tough one for a lot of reasons and they probably needed to be sitting.

"So…" Alex said.

"So…"

"I guess we should start with the letter," Alex said. "I…I meant what I said in it. Every word. Even if I didn't explicitly tell you how I was feeling, I hoped that if you felt the same way, you would understand. When you didn't contact me…"

Olivia swallowed and her breathing slowed. "I did feel the same way. I wish…I wish I'd have known."

"I was heart-broken," Alex said. "I finally convinced myself I misread all the signs, that it was all in my head. And then, well, I felt like a fool. I mean, I figured even if you didn't feel that way, you would have still contacted me, as my friend. So, when you didn't, I thought I had messed things up by hinting. Then part of me got angry at you for being so stubborn that something like that would make you not reach out to me, that you would put your awkwardness over the friendship we did have."

"Alex, I would never," Olivia said.

"I know that now," Alex said. "Heck, I knew that after coming back to SVU after a while."

Alex paused for a moment, the next part was hard. The misunderstanding had been the reason for the biggest rift in their 17-year relationship, even if it wasn't something they every talked much about.

"You know, that was the real reason I didn't call when I left Witness Protection and came back to the city," Alex continued. "I was embarrassed. Annoyed. I felt like maybe what we had, friendship or more, didn't matter as much to you as it did to me. So, I avoided your and Elliot's calls because I didn't know how to deal with it."

"What?" Olivia said. "You…you thought…"

"I'm sorry, Liv," Alex said. "I know now that I misread the situation. And when I told you and Elliot that it was just hard for me, the memories, the trauma, that was true…it was. But I guess I was also hurt by you not contacting me. And it was the only way I knew how to protect myself from going straight back to that place we were before, to my feelings."

"Alex, I…I didn't know," Olivia said. "I thought you had just…moved on and I was also heart-broken. I mean, I knew how I felt and I was sure you felt something, but…when you didn't say goodbye the second time, particularly after telling me the night before how you were dating someone, I just assumed, like you, that I had misread the signs."

"You know, I only told you about him to find out if you had moved on, if you were dating someone," Alex said.

"I wasn't," Olivia said. "I couldn't move on. Not yet. At least not until you left without saying goodbye. Then…I tried."

Alex let out an ironic laugh. "I guess my dad really did a number on us both."

"When you didn't call after witness protection I was confused. That turned into questioning myself and what I thought I knew, which just turned into anger," Olivia said. "When I saw your engagement announcement..."

Alex shook her head. "My biggest regret," she said. "I wasn't myself. Everything about trying to come back into my old life was just…not me. When I look at that time period, it was like an out of body experience. I was trying to forget what happened to me. I was trying to forget you."

Olivia chuckled. "Same," she said. "Even though I never told Elliot how I felt about you, he hid the office newspaper from me the day your engagement announcement ran. In fact, I made it through almost the entire day until Munch walked in with a paper at the end of the day."

" _You know, I've been looking for our paper all day, and couldn't find it. I finally broke out and bought one, and wouldn't you know…ol' Teflon is getting married to some rich schmuck," Munch said._

 _Olivia's mouth dropped open and an angry look grew on Stabler's face, as he shot a glare toward Munch. Olivia walked over and snatched the paper from Munch to read the announcement. Her surprise turned into anger and she pushed it back in Munch's hands before storming out to the crib._

" _What was that all about?" Munch said. "Isn't anyone happy for Alex besides me?"_

 _Elliot gave Munch a disgusted look and went after his partner. Fin shook his head. "Man, you really are an idiot sometimes," Fin said, then bumped into Munch on his way to leave._

Alex laughed a little at the story, even if it was sad. "So…they all knew?"

"Well, except Munch apparently," Olivia said. "Or at least suspected. Speaking of which, I told Fin yesterday."

Alex nodded. "Good," Alex said. "I'm sure he had us figured out weeks ago."

"Yeah," Olivia said. "Anyway, after your engagement, I was just angry with you, and stayed angry with you until…well, you arrived back at SVU."

"Oh, you were still plenty angry with me then," Alex said. "I just didn't know why…You know, me going back to SVU was the beginning of finding myself again. Robert and I had just broken up. Partly because of the hostage situation with some of my ADAs and he wanted me to quit working. Of course, I don't think it the hostage situation mattered. He never wanted me working to begin with, wanted me free and at his beck and call. He just used that as an excuse because he cared about my safety."

"Well, for what it's worth, I care about your safety, but I would never ask you to give up something you love, like your job," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said. "Robert was just…well, I'd rather not talk about him right now. Let's get back to us."

"Ok," Olivia said. Alex never really mentioned Robert at all. She didn't know what happened, but knew enough to know the break-up wasn't friendly. She figured in due time, Alex would share, but she wasn't going to press her.

"You know, returning to SVU and the somewhat cold reception I got from you and Elliot was a challenge," Alex said.

"Yeah, we had some rough spots for a while," Olivia said. "Like, there would be periods when I'd think it was getting better, then something would happen and all of that anger I felt come rushing back."

"Yeah, and then you requested a new ADA," Alex said. "That was…brutal on me."

"I know," Olivia said. "I'm sorry. I rescinded it almost immediately. Emotions were so high that week."

"Jack called me into his office the next day, sat me down, and wanted to know if everything was ok," Alex said. "I assumed he was talking about the State Bar being in town. He shook his head and said he wasn't concerned about that in the least because I trust me. He was more concerned about why 'my' detectives requested a new ADA, but then pulled it back. He asked me if I wanted him to move me. He was just worried that something had happened because of the relationship I'd always had with SVU."

"Yeah, not one of my finer moments," Olivia said. "But after that, we somehow managed to work through it, keep going. I still can't believe you never told me about the letter."

"I was mortified," Alex said. "I couldn't believe you never brought it up. So, even after things got better, I figured if you hadn't mentioned it, I shouldn't; that maybe you didn't want to talk about it."

"And yet, here we are," Olivia said.

"Here we are," Alex said. "No thanks to my dad."

"You know, Alex, he really screwed up, but…and hear me out…maybe things worked out the way they were supposed to," Olivia said.

"You mean literally losing years together?" Alex said.

"Well, I wish we would have had those, but think of how different our lives would be," Olivia said. "I know I've been shaped and changed by everything. Even with Noah, I mean, if I'd had been in a relationship then, I don't know if I would have considered fostering him. I mean, maybe we would have had our own kids and Noah would be…I don't know, somewhere lost in the system."

"I guess you're right," Alex said. "I probably wouldn't have gone to the Congo, and yet, I can't imagine my life having not gone."

"When William Lewis happened, one of the things I was so thankful for was that Brian wasn't home, that he was working a double," Olivia said. "If anyone had been there; if I'd been dating someone with a normalish work schedule…if we were together…I just can't imagine what he would have done."

"Liv, you don't know what would have happened," Alex said.

"I know he would have killed anyone who got in his way," Olivia said. "And he would have probably done even worse to you. All I'm saying is, these experiences, good and bad, shaped us. Maybe now is the right time for us, and Noah.

"Besides, we were both pretty hard headed back then, who's to say it would have even worked out without a daily fight?" Olivia joked.

"You're probably right, at least about that," Alex said. "And maybe about the rest. All I know is we're here now, and I don't want to waste another minute without you again."

"And you won't have to," Olivia said.

* * *

 _A/N: Ok, I think one more chapter at the beach...a fun one now that most things are out in the open, that will be Noah-heavy. After that, we'll play it by ear when they get back to city again. And we'll definitely hear more about Robert, the roses, and some flashbacks to some of their past and things they experienced._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	13. July 4 - Part 4

_A/N: Ok, less heavy stuff and some good family stuff and some "adult" time. Here's your smut warning._

 _I'm really glad you all are enjoying this one so much. So am I. Back to the city after this. Still have a few things to tackle._

* * *

 **JULY 4 - PART 4**

Alex woke early the next morning feeling at peace and with Olivia's arm draped around her. It was the same place as it has been when they both collapsed after a night of very intense, albeit quiet, love-making.

After their talk on the beach, it was everything they could do not to have sex there, but with no blanket, the risk of sand getting in places they didn't want to dig it out of was just too high. Besides, public indecency wouldn't exactly look good on an executive ADA and an SVU Lieutenant.

Alex decided to let Olivia sleep and gently pulled herself from under the brunette's grasp. The sun was peaking in and shining down on Olivia, who was completely naked, aside from the thin sheet covering her ass. Alex took a moment to admire the beautiful woman in her bed, wondering how she every got so lucky – not because of Liv's beauty, but because of her heart and who she was.

Alex creeped out of the bedroom after pulling on some pajamas and a robe. The house was quiet, so she made some coffee. Once it was ready, she poured a cup and went to check in on Noah, as he was a pretty early riser.

She poked her head in his door and smiled when she saw him sitting on the floor playing with blocks. She was right, the boy was wide awake.

"Hi Noah," Alex said, coming into the room and taking a spot on the floor next to him. "What are you building?"

"I make building for my car," Noah said. He picked up a couple of cars and trucks and showed them to Alex. The two of them continued to build the building and when they were done, Noah took one of the trucks and put it inside.

"You put other one in," Noah said. Alex took one of the cars and put it inside.

"No, silly," Noah said, laughing. "Not like that. Like this." He grabbed the car she put in head first and put it in backwards, to match the truck he put in.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex said. "I don't like driving much."

"I know. Mommy said Lex slow driver," Noah said.

"She did, did she?" Alex said. She laughed wondering what brought that conversation on, although she knew Olivia didn't like riding with her. Alex was a bit of a rule follower on the road and Olivia, well, speed limits were more of suggestion for her unless Noah was in the car. Even then, she definitely drove like a cop.

"What else does Mommy tell you?" Alex asked after a few minutes.

"Mommy loves you," Noah said. Alex smiled.

"So, why is it you always laugh when I kiss your mom?" Alex asked.

"Cause you're both girls," Noah said.

"Oh," Alex said. "You've probably never saw two girls kiss each other."

Noah shook his head. "No, but Mommy says it's ok," he said. "I see two boys though."

"You did?" Alex said. "Where was that?"

Noah thought for a minute. "Um, we went on the plane with Tuck for a long time," he said. He scrunched his face to think more. "I can't remember."

"That's ok," Alex said. "Was it Paris?"

"Maybe," Noah said.

"Was there a really tall building you saw? Like a tower?" Alex said.

"Yes," Noah said. "That's it."

"So, you saw two boys kissing in Paris," Alex said. "What did you think of that?"

Noah shrugged. "Mommy said they loved each other," he said. "Mommy says I can love anyone I want."

"That's right, you can," Alex said.

"I think I just want to live with you and Mommy forever," Noah said. "Kissing is funny. I don't like it. Sophie tries to kiss me."

"Who's Sophie?" Alex said.

"She's at my school," Noah said, referring to his preschool.

"Well, maybe she likes you," Alex said, then realized that didn't make it ok if Noah didn't like it. "But, if you don't want to kiss her, you don't have to."

"I don't want to," he said. "I tell her that. I told her my Mommy would take her to jail."

Alex laughed at the somewhat awareness Noah had of Olivia's job and how she had clearly talked to him about boundaries.

"How about you and I go make some breakfast for your mom and my dad?" Alex said. "You still like chocolate chip pancakes?"

Noah nodded eagerly, then got up, took Alex's hand and followed her to the kitchen.

In the bedroom, Olivia laid awake. She woke up a little when Alex got out of bed and figured the blonde would return with coffee. But soon after, she heard voices coming from the baby monitor in Noah's room.

Her heart was full as she laid there listening to Alex and Noah play and talk. Especially when Noah said he wanted to live with them forever. She wanted forever, too (or at least until Noah went to college).

#

That afternoon, the four of them went to the beach to take Noah swimming, as promised. After getting Noah lathered with sunscreen, John offered to take the first round with Noah. He was going to try to teach the young boy how to boogie board, even if Alex insisted he was too young.

"It's ok, Alex," Olivia said. "The worst that can happen is he'll scrape a knee on the sand. I have a kit in my bag. But that's still unlikely."

"If you say so," Alex said. "I just don't want him to get hurt."

"I know, but unfortunately, we can't' lock him up forever," Olivia said. "I've already thought about that." She laughed and got a smile out of Alex.

"It's just part of parenting you learn," Olivia said. "You let them try new things in as safe a manner as possible. And your dad is with him, so he'll be fine."

"Well, you're much more experienced at this than I am, so if you say so," Alex said.

"I don't know," Olivia said. "From what I can tell, you're a pretty good parental figure. I mean, you were pretty much super mom this morning, getting up, playing with Noah, fixing breakfast."

Alex looked at Olivia curiously.

"Ok, the monitor was on," Olivia said. "I could hear everything. And I thought it was adorable. Noah loves you."

"Noah says you love me," Alex grinned.

"Noah is a smart kid," Olivia said. "But, even if he thinks he's living with us forever, he's not going to."

Alex laughed. "Just until he's 30?" she teased.

"Yeah, something like that," Olivia said.

"You know, if you heard everything, you probably also know your son told on you," Alex said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Olivia said, playing coy.

"Oh, he told me all about how you think I'm a bad driver," Alex said.

"I don't think I've ever used the words bad driver," Olivia said. "But Noah also talks too much around 'Lex.' We're gonna have to talk about that, me and Noah." She laughed, knowing she had been busted.

"Uh huh," Alex said. "I should start quizzing him more. Maybe I'll start by asking questions about how you like my cooking."

"I'm pretty sure using my son as a weapon against me is against the rules," Olivia said.

"I'm pretty sure spying on people through a baby monitor is, too," Alex joked.

"Mommy! Watch!" Noah yelled from the water. She saw Noah and John get the boogie board and slide it along the beach, Noah trying to step on it.

The two women got up and walked closer so they could get a better look. John tried again, sliding the board slowly across the receding water, and Noah getting just enough running start to step and slide on it.

"Mommy! Lex! Did you see?" Noah said. "I surf!"

"We see, Noah," Olivia said.

John walked down to meet Noah at the end, and get him set up to go back the other way toward Alex and Olivia.

"Your grandson is adorable," an older lady told John as he was helping Noah get set again.

He glanced over at Olivia and Alex, who both blushed and just stood awkwardly, providing no help to him. "Oh, thank you. He's not exactly my grandson, at least yet. But, he's a good kid. Thank you."

Alex gulped when John said "yet." She knew neither her nor Olivia were anywhere near that level in their relationship, but it's not that she didn't want that…someday.

"It's ok," Olivia whispered, feeling Alex get nervous standing next to her. "I know what he meant. So no pressure, either way, ok?"

Over the course of the next few hours, the four of them swam, built sand castles, napped in the sun and threw a beach ball around. Noah kept all three adults running the entire time almost. Olivia wasn't sure where he got all of his energy, but by the time they left, he was zonked out.

"You want me to carry him?" Alex said. "Don't worry, I remember how heavy he is."

"It's ok," Olivia said. "If you can get my bag, I have him this time." She picked up the sleeping boy and tossed him nearly over her should. He woke just enough to wrap his arms around her neck and the two of them headed back toward the house.

Alex and John followed, having gathered up all of their things, and walked slowly behind them.

"I'm sorry if I made it awkward for you two earlier," he said. "I just kind of froze, wasn't sure what to say. I mean, sure, I could have just said, this is my daughter's girlfriend's son, but all of that just seemed complicated."

"It's ok, Daddy," Alex said. "I mean, we're not there. We both know that. But, it's ok. Neither of us were upset."

"Well, I wouldn't expect you and Olivia would be there yet," John said. "But, I think or hope at least, you'll get there."

Alex smiled. "Me too."

"And you know, I really wouldn't mind being called Grandpa before I die," he said. "So, make sure you don't wait forever, and whatever you do, don't let go of Olivia this time. I think you got a good one."

Alex looked up at her father who had a big smile on his face. He was being sincere, despite his initial hesitations about Olivia. She leaned into him and returned the smile. "Thanks, Daddy."

It was one step closer to healing for the father/daughter pair.

#

Later that night, after dark, the community put on their fireworks show. They were fortunate enough to be able to see it from the back patio, sitting around the pool, while Noah played with glow sticks that Alex told him was a sparkler. He jumped around with each boom, oohing and awing each time at the colors. He was old enough for the first time to actually enjoy fireworks for the fourth of July, even if it was a few days early.

Earlier in the day, John had made champagne popsicles for the adults, after making sure to have some regular ones for Noah on hand. It was a warm night, so he brought them out and surprised everyone.

Olivia and Alex sat curled up on the double lounger again, watching Noah, as well as some neighbor kids John invited over. One of his golf buddies' grandkids were in town, so they came over to give John company and he encouraged them to bring the kids. Noah was in heaven with the fireworks and the kids to play with.

"Have you had a good weekend, babe?" Alex asked Olivia as they were pulling their popsicles out.

"I have had an enlightening weekend, in a lot of ways," Olivia said. "But yes, it's been very good. The best, even."

"The best, huh?" Alex asked. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, we have learned things about each other we didn't know. I have gotten to spend uninterrupted time with my son. I somehow managed to make your dad like me, despite some early opposition. Noah has had a blast," Olivia said, then leaned in to talk quieter. "And, I've had some of the best sex of my life…and the weekend isn't even over."

Alex looked at Olivia who was smirking with a raised eye brow. The blonde raised her popsicle to Olivia's.

"I say we toast the weekend though, with our champagne," Alex said. Olivia laughed, but did as Alex did. "To a wonderful weekend with my girlfriend. To our future…and to even more of this 'best sex' you speak of." The two women clinked their dessert and Alex couldn't resist bringing her tongue out to lick hers, rather than putting it in her mouth. The visual drove Olivia crazy.

Alex leaned closer to Olivia and whispered in her ear. "How about we get Dad and his company to watch Noah for the next hour or so?" she said, letting her tongue barely graze Olivia's ear. "I know this deserted place at the beach up the road where we can park?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "You want…to go parking?"

"I have tinted windows and _plenty_ of room in the backseat of my SUV," Alex reminded her. "And I can guarantee we won't get caught."

#

45 minutes later, at a deserted spot by the beach, the tinted windows in Alex's SUV were fogged up and both women were half naked in the back seat of the vehicle.

"I cannot believe we're making out in a car," Olivia said. "We're basically 50."

"Ok, stop saying that," Alex said. "We're still in our 40s. We're in our sexual prime. And you have to admit, this is hot." She climbed up on Olivia's lap, straddling her, only wearing her capris pants and a bra. "I mean, unless you want me to get off…"

"That is just cruel," Olivia said. "And I definitely want you to get off." Olivia reached around and squeezed Alex's has while she buried her head in Alex's breasts, quickly unhooking and sliding her bra off.

She took an already hard nipple in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it as Alex rocked up on down on her, her hand between their legs to give friction to both of them.

"Lean back," Olivia whispered, and with a sweeping move, laid the blonde back against the front seat, using one hand to support Alex' back and slid the other down the front of her pants.

"Oh, God, Liv," Alex said as she felt Olivia inside her, working her way deeper. Alex had no choice but to grab hold of Olivia's arms for support.

Finally, Olivia pulled Alex back straight up, both of their bodies against each other and let Alex rock up and down as Olivia delve deeper inside the blonde, letting her breasts rub against her own and using her tongue to trace along Alex's collarbone as the blonde whimpered at each thrust moving faster.

It didn't take long before Olivia slipped her thumb against Alex's clit before she saw the blonde grasp as the back of the seat and lose complete control of her body.

"Fuck! Liv…please…don't….stop…." Alex panted, moaning louder, until finally the uncontrollable spasms started and kept going, Alex screaming until she collapsed into Olivia's arms.

Olivia worked to catch her own breath while Alex panted. "My God, Al…that was the hottest thing ever," she said.

"I told you," Alex breathed out.

After several minutes of the two of them catching their breath, Alex motioned for Olivia to lay down on her back. She crawled between Olivia's legs and worked on unbuttoning the brunette's pants while kissing her way down Olivia's body.

Olivia knew what was coming, her body clenching just thinking about what was about to happen. Alex didn't waste time. She pushed down Olivia's pants and underwear and made herself comfortable between her legs. She kissed Olivia's stomach and peppered kisses down to Olivia's inner thigh, teasing the crease at the very top of Olivia's leg.

"Baby, please," Olivia said.

"Please what?" Alex said. She smirked when she looked up at Olivia who tilted her head back to control her urges.

"I need you, please," Olivia said.

"Well, you know, I'm a slow driver," Alex said. "I apparently like to take my time."

"Oh, my God, are you serious," Olivia said. "You're not a slow drive. You're the best driver. The best fucking driver I've ever seen. Please, Al…"

Alex grinned, deciding not to torture Olivia any longer before letting her tongue slide the length of Olivia's center, eliciting a long moan, much anticipated moan from the brunette.

"Jesus, Alex," Olivia said. "You're so good at that."

Alex's warm mouth sent tingles through Olivia's body. She wanted to touch Alex, stroke her head, encourage her…but all she could find herself doing was laying back and reeling in the feeling of pleasure Alex was giving her – a feeling that ran from her head to her toes, as they curled up in her sandals that were still on her feet.

Alex grinned again as she looked up and watched Olivia, eyes rolling back in her head as she grasped at the side of the back seat with her left hand and the headrest with her right hand. The blonde felt Olivia's hips start to rock up, a sure sign she was close.

Alex's tongue began to make quick flicks up, right on the tip of Olivia's clit, causing a louder moan to come from Olivia.

"Fuck, baby….please," Olivia said. "God, Alex…Alex…Alex…" At one point, Olivia's hand even went back against the backseat window, much like in Titanic. She hadn't planned it, as it was cheesy as fuck, but she was quickly losing all control of her limbs and vocals.

"I'm so close…please….yes…Alexandra!" Olivia was close and the sound of Alex's full name always turned her on when Olivia said it in bed. It was all the motivation she needed to take her girlfriend over the top.

As she zeroed in her tongue right where Olivia needed it, she also pushed two fingers quickly inside Olivia, the brunette's body reacting immediately.

"Ahhh," Olivia said. Once Alex curled up her fingers, and used all the force and quickness she had with her gone, Olivia lost it. Her hips shot up, but Alex kept going through Olivia's moans and pleas not to stop.

Finally, it all went silent and still. The only sound Alex could hear was Olivia gasping for breath. Every window in the car was fogged, even the handprint Olivia left on the window was beginning to fog over. Alex crawled up and collapsed on top of Olivia, letting the detectives strong, toned around wrap around her and pull her close.

After a few more deep breaths, Olivia got enough energy to speak. "I love you so fucking much, Alex," she said. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I mean that in every possible way."

"Good," Alex said. "Cause I think you're pretty ok, yourself. And by ok, I mean, you are definitely the woman of my dreams."

Olivia smiled and leaned forward to kiss Alex. A much slower, but no less passionate kiss than they shared during their sexcapades. It was a loving kiss and lasted much longer than normal, neither of them wanting to ever come out of that moment.

* * *

 _a/n: So, back in the city, and we'll get answers to some of those Alex questions about Robert, the roses, etc... Probably have one more Tucker appearance. Despite the "future" tones in this chapter, I'm not gonna rush them into things like marriage or moving in. But we will see them more as a "family" unit...and all that can come with that._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	14. Three lawyers walk into a bar

_A/N: Disclosing time. Fun (and hopefully funny) chapter, easing back into the city from vacation._

* * *

 **THREE LAWYERS WALK INTO A BAR**

 _Knock. Knock._

Barba looked up from his desk to see Olivia pushing the door open. It was the week after 4th of July and Olivia and Alex had decided it was time to disclose their relationship.

"Busy?" Olivia asked.

"Well, usually, but I have time for you," Barba said. "What brings you over here for a personal visit mid-day? Please tell me nothing is wrong with the Spicer case."

Olivia smiled and shook her head. She shut the door behind her and made her way to one of the chairs. "No, it's nothing like that."

"Ok?" Barba said. "So, what's up?"

"I just wanted to inform you, properly, that I'm in a relationship," Olivia said. "I just came from 1PP."

"Uh, ok," Barba said. "I assume if you're 'disclosing' it's someone in NYPD or the DA's office. You and Tucker giving it another go?"

Olivia laughed. "No, it's not Ed," she said.

"Are you going to keep me in suspense all day?" Barba quipped. "It's not someone I'm investigating again, is it?" He chuckled as he said it.

"Why? You planning on reporting me again?" Olivia said. They had made up since their fight over Tucker. All they could do now was laugh about it.

"It seems I don't need to," Barba said. "So, spill. Who is it?"

"It's Alex Cabot. We're involved and I just wanted you to know," Olivia said. "I can't think of any possible conflict, but all the same, I wanted to go about it the right way this time."

"Oh, I see," Barba said. He was a bit caught off guard. "I didn't know, well, no I guess I never asked. It doesn't matter. Cabot, huh? That's uh, great."

"I can't tell if you approve or not, but I guess that is ok," Olivia said.

"Oh, no, I approve," he said. "It's just…well, I mean, I heard rumors when I was a law clerk, but then, I just assumed it was rumors. That's been forever though."

"Yeah, we took a little unusual path to get here," Olivia said. "But it's good. And I'm happy."

"I've noticed," Barba said, grinning at Olivia. "And I'm happy for you."

#

Alex returned to her office after meeting with the DA then stopping for lunch. It had been less than an hour since she left the DA's office, but by the time she got back to her office, Casey Novak was waiting with a smirk on her face.

"Casey, what brings you by?" Alex said, while unlocking her office door. Casey followed her in and leaned against the door as it closed.

"I knew it. I always knew it," Casey said.

Alex sat down her bag and gave Casey a weird look. "Knew what?"

"You and Liv," Casey said. "I understand you and the detective finally got your head out of your assess. Though, I have to say, at this point, I had long since given up."

"What the hell?" Alex said. "I literally just left the DA's office."

"Oh, come on, Alex," Casey said. "You know this place leaks worse than Washington. Besides, I'd already heard rumors you've been making quite a few trips over to the 1-6 precinct."

"How do you – never mind," Alex said.

"I told you," Casey said. "Worse than Washington."

Alex finally sat down and took in a deep breath, then slowly exhaled.

"So, I take it isn't true?" Casey said.

That drew a smile from Alex who nodded. "It is. Olivia and I are…dating. And it's all official now."

"Good for you," Casey said. "I've noticed a bit of a pep in your step."

"Thanks," Alex said shyly.

"So…I won't ask about your sex life," Casey said. "It's written all over your face. But, how is it dating someone with a kid. I never exactly pegged you for the 'mom' type."

"It's…different," Alex said. "And I've always liked kids, just…never really thought I'd find someone, so I kind of pushed that out of my mind. But Noah…he's adorable. He's stolen my heart."

"Like his mom?" Casey said, eyebrows raised.

Alex smiled and blushed, telling Casey everything she needed to know.

"By the way, what did you mean you always knew it?" Alex said.

"When I came to SVU, I wasn't exactly…welcomed with open arms," Casey said. "I understood. They'd lost you, tragically. But Liv…she was a little harder to crack than everyone else. Everything I did was always compared to you. 'Alex wouldn't do that.' 'Alex preferred this.' It was so annoying.

"Eventually, she opened up to me a little, but the way she talked about you, I just…wondered. After you came back from the dead, seeing how protective Liv was of you, seeing how hurt she was when you left…well, let's just say I always suspected you two were together."

"We weren't," Alex said. "But it seems like we should have been."

"Well, you have a good one," Casey said. "I hope you know that."

"Oh, I do," Alex said. "More than you know."

#

Olivia called Alex when she got back to her office and got caught up on a few things. She wanted to let her know how things went with 1PP and with Barba, and hear how things went with the DA.

"So, everything went well and we're officially official now?" Alex asked when they both shared their news.

"I guess so," Olivia said. "Um, Barba asked if we were interested in getting a drink tonight. Since Lucy stays late on Tuesdays and I have everything nearly wrapped up here, what do you think?"

"Funny you mention that," Alex said. "Casey asked the same thing. She was waiting when I got back to my office today to grill me about you."

"How did she know?" Olivia asked.

"Apparently the DA's office and 1PP contain leaks about as well as Washington," Alex said.

"Well, there is truth in that," Olivia said. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"Any reason all four of us can't go?" Alex said. "Maybe Fin, too?"

"You want me to call Elliot and Cragen, too?" Olivia laughed. "It's fine. How about just the four of us. Fin knows, but I'm not ready for a full squad interrogation yet, even if I suspect they know by now."

"Ok," Alex said. "Meet you about 6?"

"Sounds good," Olivia said. "I hope I don't regret this."

"I'll make it up to you later," Alex teased.

#

A couple of hours later, Olivia made her way into the pub to find the three ADAs already there and waiting for her.

"Sorry I'm late," Olivia said. "I was waiting on Carisi and Rollins to get back. This woman called and…" Olivia stopped talking as all three of them were staring at her like they'd just as soon she shut up. "Um, what's wrong?"

"Is it anything that needs to be dealt with tonight?" Barba said.

"No," Olivia said.

"Is anyone in danger or being harmed?" Alex asked.

"No, she just had questions," Olivia said.

"Then, forget about it for a few hours," Casey said. "We've already decided this is going to be a work-free night."

"I told you this was a bad idea," Olivia said, rolling her eyes and glancing at Alex. "Also, I'm not sure I've ever seen the three of you in once place before. At least with me."

"You know, we could call up Sonya and what's her name…Greyleck, and really have a trip down memory lane for you," Alex joked.

"No thanks," Olivia said. "The last time I was in a bar with Sonya it didn't end well…at least for her. And Greyleck…well, let's just say no thank you."

Olivia took a seat and took a sip of the beer in front of her that Alex had already order for her.

"So, what were you all talking about before I got here?" Olivia asked.

"Which one of us you liked better as an ADA," Barba said.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Olivia said. "I'm leaving."

"No, I think you should answer," Alex said. "I mean, we've always wondered. And you're not allowed to answer someone other than us, because…well, it would be a lie."

"Why does it even matter?" Olivia said.

"We're lawyers," Casey said. "That makes us competitive by nature. Also, you must go by work alone. Yours and Alex's extracurricular activities isn't allowed to sway the vote."

"This isn't fair," Olivia said. "You all are excellent at what you do."

"Yeah, but, come on, Liv," Barba said. "You have to have a preference."

"You all have different strengths," Olivia said. "It's like comparing apples to oranges."

"It's really not," Alex said. "Why is it so hard? I mean, overall, who do you prefer working with?"

"We should probably give up," Barba said. "She obviously preferred working with Alex."

Alex had a smug look on her face. Olivia laughed out loud pretty loudly, not exactly meaning to.

"What was that?" Alex said, head snapping to Olivia.

"Uh oh," Casey said. "The truth is coming out."

"This is really not fair, guys," Olivia said.

"Why did you laugh?" Alex asked, amused. "Are you saying you didn't like working with me?"

"That's not what I said," Olivia said, taking another sip of beer. "It's just…"

"Just…?" Alex said.

"Oh, come on," Casey said. "You all fought like cats and dogs. Although, Liv would never have admitted it after you left. But I heard ALL about your epic fights."

"In fairness, I've fought with all of you," Olivia said.

"Yeah, but not all of us reported you to 1PP," Alex smirked, giving Barba a look.

"Not all of us caused Liv to request a new ADA," Barba shot back, giving as well as he took.

Casey let out a smug laugh.

"Don't get so cocky," Alex said. "You got censured for a year."

"And you got suspended for 30 days for lying to Liv and Elliot about a warrant," Casey said back. "And you got a suspension, too, Barba, so don't even start."

"Ok, that's enough," Olivia said. They were all laughing and having fun, but it wasn't a road she wanted to go down. They had all done questionable things – for the sake of justice – over the years. "If I answer, will you drop this and let's enjoy the night?"

"You're actually going to answer us?" Casey said. Olivia nodded.

They all three sat quietly, with bated breath, waiting on her answer.

"Barba," Olivia said.

"What?" Alex and Casey both exclaimed.

"Listen, it's more about me and you all," Olivia said.

"Oh, it's the 'it's not you, it's me' speech," Casey said.

"I feel like I'm getting dumped," Alex said.

"No, I just mean, I worked with you both when I was a lot younger, a bit more…willing to bend the rules," Olivia said. "Then when you both came back, it was not my best time after Elliot left.

"Barba showed up as I was moving up, taking on more responsibility," Olivia continued. "So, I think, for that reason, as I became more seasoned, and with Barba's experience already coming in, we just kind of meshed well."

"Ha!" Barba said.

"Wow, and I was just complimenting your maturity," Olivia said. "I just mean, I think it's an unfair comparison because I worked with you all at different stages."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you and I would have been dangerous if I'd have been here as early in my career as Alex and Casey here," he said.

"I'll accept that," Casey said. "Besides, you hated me the whole first year I was there."

"That's not true," Olivia said. "I was mourning."

"Oh yes, you were mourning the woman you loved that you and Elliot knew wasn't dead, yet still arrested someone for her murder," Casey quipped.

"Hey, don't forget I had to come back from the dead to save your ass," Alex said. "But sure, go ahead and pick Barba over me and Casey."

"I'm starting to get why you're so challenging of me sometimes," Barba said. "If I had to put up with them for years, I'd be grumpy with ADAs, too."

"Shut up and buy the next round," Alex said.

"Why do I have to buy? I won," Barba said.

"That's exactly why," Casey said.

#

When they all left the pub a while later, Alex got into the cab with Olivia. Olivia gave the driver her address.

"Did you forget where I live?" Alex said. "It makes more sense to stop and drop me off first."

"I was thinking…why don't you stay tonight," Olivia said. "I mean, unless you have an early morning. I know you'll need clothes and stuff."

"Oh, um, ok," Alex said. This was something new for them, aside from staying together on their vacation. "Won't that mess with Noah's morning schedule, or confuse him?"

"I think he'll be ok," Olivia said. "I mean, I'd hope eventually you'd stay over some. So, he should get used to that."

"Ok," Alex said. "But you taking me home doesn't mean you're off the hook for saying Barba was a better lawyer than me."

"Ah, sweetheart, you're mistaken," Olivia said. "I said I preferred him because I've mellowed out with age. I never actually said who I thought was the best lawyer."

Alex cocked her head and raised her eyebrows.

"Don't worry, you win that one hands down," Olivia said.

"Really?" Alex said, genuinely surprised. "I mean, they are good lawyers."

"Yes, they are," Olivia said. "And like I said, you all had different strengths. Barba for instance calms me usually, and for the most part, keeps a more professional demeanor – something you and Casey struggled with at times when you got particularly emotional about a case."

"Fair enough," Alex said.

"And Casey wins personality, hands down," Olivia said. "No offense. She was great with victims after the first couple of months. Very passionate about things. Not to say you weren't, but sometimes…you come across as a bit…uptight?"

"Ice princess? Is that what you wanted to say?" Alex said, smiling.

"Maybe," Olivia said. "But, I know otherwise. It works well. You can be the ice princess in the courtroom, and when you are with me and Noah, I get to see what a softy Lex is."

"Oh my God, please don't ever let Casey hear you use that name," Alex said. "Or anyone from work. I'd hate to ruin my Ice Princess reputation. It scares the defense attorneys. Gives me an advantage."

"It'll be our little secret," Olivia said. She leaned over and kissed Alex before the cab stopped and the two of them made their way up to Olivia's apartment for the night.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	15. Flowers

_A/N: So, I definitely goofed in the last chapter. I completely blanked on Sonya Paxton dying. Sorry about that, but it has no impact on this story. I knew she was dead, just had a memory lapse._

 _As for the couple of people who think Barba is my favorite ADA - the answer is no, he's not (but I like him a lot). But it really shouldn't matter since this is fiction. Alex obviously is my personal favorite. That wasn't so much the question posed in the chapter, though. It was who Liv preferred. I gave one potential answer, based on how I see Liv and Barba's relationship...less contentious for the most part then Liv and Casey or Alex. I think it's the nature of her supervisory role now, the relationship is more respectful of each other (again, for the most part), kind of like Cragen/Alex (which is an underrated friendship, BTW). Again, based on the less contentiousness of it, I can imagine it's less stressful on Liv, which is why I had her say Barba - really just an age/maturity thing. But I can see arguments from all sides. Just wanted to clarify that just because I write something, doesn't mean it's my personal belief._

 _WARNING: Just want to give a heads up this chapter contains violence (what I consider mild in terms of writing it, but if you are sensitive, proceed with caution). It's not sexual violence, though, and it's brief._

* * *

 **FLOWERS**

Two months later.

#

It was Tuesday night, and usually the night Olivia and Alex would get out of the apartment. Lucy always stayed late, and it had been a pseudo date-night for the couple. It had been a good get away, even if they made time for each other nights, too. In fact, they had been spending pretty much all of their free time together and with Noah.

 _Alex: Dinner out tonight, then my place?_

Olivia looked down when her cellphone buzzed on her desk. It had been a long day, even if it was barely half over. It had been a long couple of weeks for that matter. Olivia felt like she hadn't stopped or had a moment alone in weeks.

She read the text and sighed. No, she really didn't want to go out for dinner – again. She finished up the email she was responding to before she picked up her phone again to reply to Alex.

 _Olivia: Not tonight. I just want to go home and chill._

Alex's phone buzzed as she was on her office phone with a defense attorney. She was hoping a night out would help Olivia out of her funk. She'd seen Olivia often over the past few weeks, but she seemed distracted, even a little standoffish. All Alex wanted was a nice night out with her girlfriend without her worrying about work or Noah.

When she saw Olivia's reply she rolled her eyes – again.

 _Alex: Ok…So, maybe I can order in at my place and we can Netflix and chill ;)_

 _Olivia: I gave Lucy the night off. Just want to spend time with Noah. You're welcome to come over, if you want._

Alex was more annoyed when she read Olivia's text. _You're welcome to come over?_ It sounded like a sympathy-invite and not like Olivia actually wanted to see her. But, her maturity kicked in and reminded her Olivia probably did need to spend time with Noah.

 _Alex: It's fine. I don't want to impose._

Now it was Olivia's turn to roll her eyes. She hated the word _fine_. When Alex said it, it never meant fine.

 _Olivia: Just come over. Do you really need an invitation?_

Alex clenched her jaw. She didn't want an invitation. She wanted Olivia to pretend like she even cared about spending time with her.

 _Alex: Fine._

Olivia groaned when she read the text. Now she was really confused and didn't know if that meant Alex was coming over or not.

"Everything ok?" Fin asked. When Olivia looked up he was standing in the doorway.

Olivia just shrugged. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Nah, I know that look," Fin said. "Trust me, I've pissed off a lot of women in my life."

Olivia chuckled and nodded for Fin to come in. He did, shutting the door behind him, and sat down on the couch. "What's up?"

"You still dating Alicia?" Olivia asked. Finn nodded yes. "Do you ever have a hard time balancing the job and relationships?"

"Oh, man," Fin asked. "That's a can you just opened, Liv."

Olivia smiled. She knew it was. She didn't know why she was talking to a member of her squad about her love life; she made a point not to do that. But Fin was different, and Fin knew Alex better than anyone else Olivia saw on a regular basis.

"You know, with Tucker, we struggled a bit with this. He was ready to retire, settle down. Spend his days going fishing," Olivia said. "And…I'm not there yet. I know things have changed here, and I've changed, but I still feel like there is so much more work I have to do – that I want to do."

"Tucker didn't get that?" Fin asked.

"No, he did," Olivia said. "That's why our decision, as hard as it was, was easy. He was willing to walk away because we both recognized we weren't in the same place anymore, and weren't going to be anytime soon."

"And Cabot?" Fin said. "Surely she's not ready to retire. I mean, I know she's got that Cabot money and probably could, but that doesn't seem Alex's style."

"No, she's still as committed to the job as I am; if not more," Olivia said. "But, maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not cut out for relationships. It's hard with work and with Noah. I mean, he's still so young and I feel like time not spent with him is stealing from him."

"Liv, I'm not sure I'm the best person to give advice about raising kids," Fin said. "I was a terrible dad when Ken was young. All I did was work and me and his Ma just weren't willing to make it work."

"And now?" Olivia said. "How is it with Alicia?"

"She doesn't fully understand the job, but she's getting used to it," he said. "But you know, both our kids are grown. We don't have that extra obligation. But yeah, there are times when I don't see her, or if I do, I'm thinking about the last crime scene we worked, and I just check out. And she lets me know about it. So then I gotta spend a week making it up to her."

"See, Alex should understand all of that," Olivia said. "She knows the job. She knows that Noah and work are my top two priorities. They have to be."

"You talked to her about it?" Fin said.

"Not really," Olivia said. "I've been busy. And when we have been together, she has all these things planned and all I want to do is go home and take a nap. Keeping up with a 3-year-old is tough."

"Tell me about it," Fin said. "Ken's son is running all over the place and he's just barely walking."

"I guess I shouldn't expect Alex to understand all of that," Olivia said. "She's great with Noah, but she's not with him all the time."

"Well, if you're not talking to her about it, how is she supposed to know?" Fin asked.

Olivia smiled and cocked her head. Fin had a point.

"You're right," Olivia said.

"Besides, the two of you lost so much time," Fin said. "I'm sure she wants to spend as much time with you as she can."

"You know, you're pretty smart, Grandpa Fin," Olivia teased. "And quite the softie, too."

"Don't let the kids know," Fin said. "So, you gonna make it up to Alex?"

"Yeah, I guess I better," Olivia said. "Thanks, Fin."

"Anytime, Liv," Fin said. He got up to leave and headed out to the squad room.

Olivia picked up her phone to text Alex back and smooth things over, but then thought better of it. She'd send flowers and order dinner. Even if they were home with Noah, they could still spend time together and talk after he went to bed.

Olivia pulled out her phone and searched for the number of a nearby florists. She'd send flowers to Alex's office. That should put a smile on her face.

Once she had the number, she jotted it down on a piece of paper, then dialed the number in front of her.

"Mary's flower shop, can I help you?" a woman on the other end said.

"Hi, I need to order some flowers for my girlfriend and have them delivered," Olivia said. While she was talking, Fin, Rollins and Carisi came in her office.

"Sure thing," the woman said. "Can you hold for just a moment while I'm with a customer in-shop?"

"Uh, yeah," Olivia said. She nodded to her squad to go ahead and talk while she was waiting.

"Sorry, Liv," Rollins said. "We've got two teenage girls at Bellevue. Say they were assaulted by their teacher."

Olivia rolled her head back and Rollins continued talking. "They won't talk to the patrol officers, so I was going to head down there and get some statements."

"I'll go with you," Liv said.

"I was about to go talk to the teacher," Fin said. "I have some friends at that school. I should be able to get some information out of them."

"Ok, ma'am," the woman said. "I'm sorry about that. What can I get for you?"

"Oh, sorry, um, can you hang on one second," Olivia said. She started writing something down on a card. "Yeah, I need to order some flowers for my girlfriend."

"Ok, when do you want them delivered?" the woman said.

"Liv," Rollins whispered. "We need to go. Patrol just texted, said one of the girls is freaking out."

"Hang on," Olivia said again to the woman. Olivia jotted down a few more things on her note card and handed it to Carisi. "Carisi, can you order these flowers for me?"

"Sure, Lieu," Carisi said.

"Thanks," she mouthed to him, then returned to her call. "I'm going to have someone call you right back. I'm so sorry. Emergency."

Olivia quickly hung up and rushed out the door. "Send to Alex's office. Tell her to join me for dinner at 7:00, my place. My credit card is in my purse under my desk. Then start scouring social media for these girls and the teacher."

"I'm on it," he said.

Olivia and Rollins rushed out of the precinct and Fin left shortly after.

Carisi looked at the phone number on the card and looked at the scribbles Olivia left. He smiled, happy Olivia trusted him with something so personal. He dialed the florist back, explained what happened, and ordered flowers for Alex.

#

Alex silently stewed in her office much of the rest of the afternoon. She felt bad for stewing, though. She knew she couldn't really understand everything on Olivia's plate. Sure, she understood the job and she knew how much of a handful Noah could be, but she also realized she wasn't with Noah all the time like Olivia. It's not that it was Noah's fault. It was just part of being a parent, setting priorities and making sure that the kids were first. Alex did her best to understand it all, but she was still disappointed there seemed to be distance between her and Olivia.

Alex's phone rang, her new assistant calling.

"You have a special delivery," the woman said. "And it's beautiful."

Alex smiled. While she would have rather that beautiful special deliver be Olivia herself, she knew enough to know it was probably flowers.

"Thank you, Lisa," Alex said. "I'll be up there in a few minutes."

"Actually, Ms. Novak is standing right here staring at me. She said she would bring them back," she said. "If that's ok."

"Of course," Alex said.

She leaned back in her chair, finally relaxed. Of course, Olivia didn't need to send flowers or make up anything to her. But Alex was happy Olivia was at least trying, thinking of her. That's what was important to Alex.

"Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight," Casey said as she pushed through Alex door.

Alex looked up and saw Casey standing there holding flowers – a dozen red roses.

The blonde's face immediately fell.

"Or not," Casey said, seeing the change in her friend. "What'd Benson do?"

"Nothing," Alex said, getting up and grabbing them from Casey. She immediately pulled out the card, to make sure they were indeed from Olivia – the same Olivia who knew better than to send her roses.

The card confirmed it. They were from Olivia. Apologizing for not spending enough time and hoping Alex would join her and Noah for dinner. Assuring her of her love.

Alex sighed.

"Ok, so, Olivia didn't do anything, sent you roses, and you look like you are going to the dentist," Casey said. "What gives?"

"I told you. Nothing," Alex said. "They're beautiful flowers. If you don't mind, I need to finish up some work before my plans tonight."

Casey didn't believe a word Alex was saying, but left it alone and said goodbye. No sooner was Casey gone than Alex threw the flowers in her garbage can.

#

After interviews and ensuring the two teen girls' safety, Olivia called it a day and headed home just in time to get Lucy out on time. She ordered dinner, then made dinner for Noah and bathed him so that was already out of the way before Alex got there. She played hard with him, in hopes of wearing him out. She hoped when Alex arrived, she could put on a movie for Noah and by the time dinner was done, Noah would be ready for bed.

It was almost 7:15 p.m. and Olivia realized she hadn't heard from Alex all day. Olivia didn't text her because she wanted the flowers to be a surprise, but she kind of expected to hear from Alex once the flowers were delivered. Hopefully they arrived, Olivia thought.

A few minutes later, there was a quiet knock on the door. Olivia wasn't sure if it was the food or Alex, both should be there by now.

When she opened the door, Alex was standing there in jeans and an old t-shirt. Not exactly their "date night" attire, even if they were at home. She was also holding the take-out food and carrying her large bag.

"I got here at the same time as the food," Alex explained. "I just paid and took it from him. He recognized me."

"Oh, thank you," Olivia said. "Come in. You didn't have to pay. I wanted to treat tonight. Especially after I was being a little clueless earlier today. Or, well, for the past week or so."

Alex was quiet as Olivia closed the door behind her. She sat the food on the table and sat her bag next to it.

"I'll get us some plates," Olivia said. "Noah is watching a movie, so maybe we can have some distraction-free time. I wore him out playing tonight."

"Actually, I don't think I'm staying, Liv," Alex said.

"You're not staying? What?" Olivia said. She stopped in her tracks as she was reaching up for two plates. "Why?"

"You don't even know," Alex said. "That's the best part of all of this."

Olivia walked back over to where Alex was. "Look, I'm sorry Alex that I haven't been as attentive as I need to be. I was hoping we could talk about that tonight and come up with a good solution for both of us – a healthy balance."

Alex scoffed and laughed sarcastically.

"Ok, now I'm just confused," Olivia said. "Are you breaking up with me? I don't understand what's so bad that I've done."

"I'm not breaking up with you, Liv," Alex said. "But I'm upset and I just don't want to be here tonight."

Alex dug into her bag, pulling out the flowers she had trashed earlier. She decided at the end of the day, she'd return them to Olivia, to drive her point home.

"By the way, next time you want to smooth things over with me, trying remembering something about me, like say how much I hate roses," Alex said, tossing the flowers down on the table next to the food.

"The flowers," Olivia said. Her eyes went big when she realized what had happened. "No, wait." Alex was starting to move toward the door.

"I didn't order the flowers for you," Olivia said. "Carisi did."

"Oh, that makes it so much better," Alex said. "And really, Liv? You're having your detectives order flowers for your girlfriend? I don't even ask my assistant to do stuff like that for me, even though most ADAs do."

"No, wait Alex," Olivia said. "Shit. It's not like it seems."

"Mommy say bad word," Noah said from the other room. "Shit."

Alex looked at Olivia, giving her a glare that said, 'look what you've done now.'

"Yes, Noah, Mommy did say a bad word. I shouldn't have," Olivia said, walking toward Noah. "But, you shouldn't repeat it, ok?"

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said, returning to his movie.

When Olivia looked up, Alex was nearly at the door. She ran over to it and go in between the blonde and the door. "Can we take this to the bedroom?"

Alex didn't say anything, just glared at her.

"Not like that. I just mean, so we can talk. I promise I can explain," Olivia said.

"Fine," Alex said. Olivia grumbled under her breath at the word again. Alex followed Olivia into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"Ok, let me start with the flowers," Liv said. "I was ordering them myself when Amanda pulled me away. There was an emergency at the ER. Carisi was staying behind, I asked him to finish the order for me. I scribbled down some notes about the card, where to take them, and I specifically said NO roses."

Alex didn't say anything, just took in what Olivia was saying.

"Look, I promise," Olivia said. "I know you hate roses. I wouldn't be so careless. And I sent flowers just because I was trying to make tonight at least a little special, even if we couldn't go out."

"Ok," Alex said. "I guess I can accept that. But Liv, you've been so…"

"I've been inattentive, I know," Olivia said. "I've been struggling with balancing work, Noah and you, and I realized I hadn't talked to you about it. I just assumed you understood."

"Liv, I do understand most of it," Alex said. "But it doesn't mean I don't emotional needs, too. I want us to work. I want to be part of your life – all of it, including Noah. That means dealing with your job, like you do mine, and understanding you have different needs than I do because of Noah. I just want you to share that with me. And when we do spend time together, don't act like you're a million miles away."

"I know, you're right," Olivia said. "I didn't mean to. It's just, sometimes I feel like I never have Olivia time anymore. It's hard when you've been used to it for most of your life."

"I understand that need," Alex said. "Let's just communicate better about what we need. When I need more of your time, I'll tell you. When you need alone time, tell me."

"It's not so much alone time," Olivia said. "I love spending time with you. But sometimes, I just want to relax, nap, read a book. Not feel like we have to do something or go out."

"And here I've been trying to get you out of the apartment so you could get away from things and relax," Alex said, smiling.

Olivia reached down and took Alex's hands. "We good?"

"We're good," Alex said.

"Good," Olivia said. "Because dinner is getting cold and Noah will be asleep soon. He's already had his bath, so you can I can spend time together tonight. I promise you all of my attention."

Alex smiled and leaned forward to give Olivia a kiss.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too," Liv replied.

#

After dinner and after Noah was sound asleep, Olivia and Alex curled up together on the couch with a glass of wine, dim lights and candles lit.

"Hey, Al?"

"Uh huh," Alex replied. Olivia's arms were wrapped around her as she sat between Olivia's legs, sitting lengthwise on the couch.

"Tell me about the roses," Olivia said, cautiously. "Why do you hate them so much?"

Olivia could feel Alex tense up and then she took a deep breath before taking a sip of wine. Alex moved to sit next to Olivia and sat her glass of wine down.

"It's a Robert thing," Alex said. "He would send them anytime I was angry. No, wait. He would have his secretary – who he was sleeping with – send them to me when I was angry."

"Yikes, he slept with his secretary?" Olivia said.

"Well, I can't judge him for that," Alex said. "I…I wasn't exactly faithful to him either, at least after I learned of his tryst. I had a weak moment soon after."

"Why not just break up?" Olivia asked, concerned.

"Oh, you know, it was the perfect relationship," Alex said, rolling her eyes. "He got an accomplished trophy wife with a great sob story, and I got all of his elitist friends to support me if and when I ever decided to run for DA."

Olivia shivered. She remembered why she didn't like "that Alex" very much.

"Yeah, I feel the same way," Alex said, seeing Olivia's reaction. "Anyway, it wasn't even so much him always sending roses. I mean, that was part of it, but the kicker came at the end of our relationship."

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"I'll tell you, but please don't overreact," Alex said.

Those words were a guarantee Olivia was going to overreact now. "No promises."

"Ok, just at least remember Robert was forever ago," Alex said. "I don't even know where he's at or what he's doing now. He's out of my life."

"Ok," Olivia said, still wondering what had happened.

"Shortly after we got engaged he heard a rumor about me sleeping with my deputy ADA," Alex said.

"You're kidding?" Olivia said. "He believed it?"

"Um, well, I guess rumor isn't the right word," Alex said.

"Alex Cabot!" Olivia said, shocked at what her girlfriend was revealing. "You slept with your deputy ADA? And I couldn't even get a kiss when we worked together." Olivia tone turned jovial so Alex knew she wasn't judging.

"Anyway," Alex said, rolling her eyes and smiling at Olivia. "He heard about Jim and confronted me. So I admitted it, but also told him I knew all about him and his secretary, and I'm sure whoever the hell else he was sleeping with."

"Yikes," Olivia said. "So you broke up?"

"If only," Alex said. "That argument actually turned physical. He grabbed my wrists, pushed me against the wall and call me a slut and all sorts of other names. I pushed him off me and told him if he ever touched me again, I would put his ass in jail. Then I left."

"Good," Olivia said.

"Yeah, well, the next day, he sent like two dozen roses," Alex said. "Then showed up at the hotel where I was staying. We lived together and I was trying to figure out a new apartment."

"You know, you could have made him leave. The law—"

"Liv, I know the law," Alex said, smiling. "But I didn't want to deal with him and I didn't need to worry about the money."

"Ok, sorry," Olivia said.

"Anyway, he showed up at the hotel, crying, apologizing, promising to change. You know, all the classic things people like him do," Alex said. "I thought I was smart enough to see through it, but…I guess I wasn't. I did care about him, even loved him a little."

"So you went back," Olivia asked.

Alex nodded. "I did and for … oh, a couple of weeks or so he was perfect," Alex said. "I thought maybe he had actually changed. So attentive. So caring. Then, we were at event and he'd had probably a few too many drinks when he saw Jim, who was there was some random girl whose dad has a shit ton of money. Anyway, it was all I could do get him to not cause a scene."

"I didn't think elitist caused scenes," Olivia joked.

"Oh, you have no idea," Alex said. "The only difference is no one outside of the circle would have known about it."

"So, what happened?" Olivia asked.

"The event was at a hotel and we had a room," Alex said. "I basically dragged him out of the ballroom and upstairs. He accused me of being in love with Jim and asked if I knew he was going to be there and where was I earlier when he was looking for me. Then accused me of fucking Jim in some coat closet.

"He was so angry. I'd never seen him like that," Alex continued. "That's when I told him he needed to leave, get his own room. That he was scaring me and I didn't want to be alone with him."

Alex paused to take a deep breath and Olivia listened in silence, afraid of what was next.

Alex clenched her teeth together. Olivia knew it was to hold back tears. She reached out for Alex's hand and stroked the stop of it with her thumb.

"When I tried to push him out of the room he smacked me," Alex said. "Really hard. Enough to knock me back down on the bed. Then I lost it and started screaming at him, once I came out of the shock from being hit. I think it startled him, too – hitting me. He just turned around and left. As soon as the door shut, I latched it and called the front desk, told them I was an ADA and that I was assaulted in their hotel and unless they wanted me to go public with the allegations against one of their richest clients, they'd immediately change the key code lock on the door and bring me a new key card. So they did."

"And Robert?"

"He came back and of course his card didn't work," Alex said. "He beat on the door for what seemed like hours. It was probably more like half an hour. Hotel security came up, but of course, they weren't going to call the police on him. Eventually, they got him to leave.

"I sent my dad for my things the next day and moved into the apartment I'm in now a few weeks later," Alex said. "I took a few days off work until the bruise on my face healed.

"Wow," Olivia said. "Alex, I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"Oh, so back to the roses," Alex said. "For probably two weeks straight he sent roses to my office every single day. Each with a card begging me to take him back, apologizing, promising to change. All the same stuff. And each day, I put them in the garbage. He'd call and leave voicemails, too. All the with same excuses.

"Finally, he got the hint and stopped sending them, but not before leaving me one last voicemail," Alex continued. "I almost didn't listen to it because I was tired of it and it was the same every day. In fact, I wish I hadn't. Anyway, he went on some angry rant again about how I was a whore who slept my way to the top. Accused me of sleeping with my boss. Told me I was a bitch and horrible in bed and that if I'd had been able to satisfy his fantasies, he wouldn't have needed his secretary. His borderline rape fantasies, mind you."

Alex felt Olivia's fists clench.

"Either way, it wasn't great for my self-esteem or ego," Alex said. "And I shouldn't have slept with Jim, whether I was with Robert or not. It was an inappropriate boundary I crossed. But, a couple days after Robert's final phone call, while I was still reeling from everything, Jack called and asked me to come back to SVU, immediately. So, I accepted. I needed a fresh start."

"I'm glad you did," Olivia said. "But I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

"I've moved past it," Alex said. "I just…don't like roses for that reason. They just seem to disingenuous."

"No, I understand," Olivia said. "And I'm so sorry for the mix-up today. I promise to never send you roses." They laughed at the irony of Olivia's statement.

"You say such sweet things," Alex laughed.

"Also, just know that I don't judge you for any part of that," Olivia said. "You know, the Jim stuff."

"Yeah, well, like I said, no my finest moment," Alex said. "But thank you, all the same."

"It's not like I've not had my share of questionable relationships," Olivia said.

"David Haden?" Alex teased.

"How did you know about that?" Olivia said.

"Liv, how many times do I have to tell you the DA's office leaks like Washington," Alex said. "And Bayard Ellis?" Alex asked.

"I..uh…why would you ask that?" Olivia said.

"Come on, Liv," Alex said. "Remember that fight we had over that ex-football player. Don't tell me Ellis just showed up in your squad room. I saw you two talking during the trial. That wasn't a relationship you have with most defense attorneys."

"It was never really anything," Olivia said. "Maybe just a moment. Besides, at least I never went on a date with Trevor Langan."

"Very funny," Alex said. "That wasn't a date."

"Bullshit," Olivia laughed. "You in that red dress. Trust me, Trevor thought it was a date."

"Well, I did get something out of it," Alex said, smirking at Olivia.

"What's that?" Olivia said.

"I made you jealous," Alex said. "And besides, why does it matter? You got the girl in the end."

"I did get the girl," Olivia said. "Or maybe the girl got me."

"Thanks for tonight, Liv," Alex said.

"I should be thanking you," Olivia said. "I can't imagine how upset you must have been with me today. It probably reminded you of Robert all over again."

"No matter how upset I was about the roses, there is no way you'll ever compare to the disgust that is Robert," Alex said. "So, don't worry about that. Let's just forget he exists."

"I still would like to kick his ass," Olivia said.

Alex smiled and kissed Olivia. "Come on. Let's take this to the bedroom…and I do mean it that way."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	16. Babysitting

_A/N: Fun chapter for you. Enjoy and thank you for the continued reviews and feedback!_

* * *

 **BABYSITTING**

"Ugh."

Alex groaned as she woke up to the sound of a cellphone going on.

"Is that yours or mine?" she sleepily asked.

Olivia reached for the nightstand, grabbing her phone. "It's mine," Olivia groaned. "Benson…uh huh…uh huh…ok, thanks. We'll be there as soon as we can…ok thanks, officer."

"Work?" Alex asked. She was still draped across Olivia in the bed, neither of them wanting to move at such an early hour of 5 a.m.

"Yeah," Olivia said. Alex moved so Olivia could sit up. "They found a body, looks like she was sexually assaulted. Frat party. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Alex said. "Duty calls."

Olivia was texting Rollins, Fin and Carisi to meet her at the scene. From the way it sounded, it was bad and there were several witnesses in the house.

"Would you mind to stay until Lucy gets here?" Olivia asked. "I'd rather get there sooner rather than later."

"No, but…I can keep Noah today if you want," Alex said. "I mean, if you're ok with that. I'm sure Lucy wouldn't be thrilled about getting up at this hour anyway."

"I'm ok with it, but are you sure you want to do that?" Olivia said. "Lucy is used to my weird hours and I have no idea how long I'll be gone. You said you had to go home and to some work today for some motions you're filing next week." Olivia was getting dressed as she was talking to Alex. "I can guarantee when I'll be home."

"Ok, what about this?" Alex said. "I'll stay with Noah this morning, and this afternoon, if you're not back, I'll take him to my apartment. I've mostly toddler proofed it just in case he's ever there."

"Really?" Olivia said, smirking at her near-naked girlfriend in the bed.

"Yeah," Alex said. "I mean, I would expect at some point he'd have a reason to come to my place with you."

"Make sense," Olivia said. "Are you sure? Noah is a handful sometimes."

"I'm well aware," Alex said. "And yes. In fact, I'm excited for it."

Olivia smiled and leaned down to kiss Alex. "You're the best," she said. "Call me if you need anything? Or call Lucy if you see you have things to do."

"I will, but I'm sure we'll manage," Alex said.

Olivia, now fully dressed, headed out the door for the crime scene. Alex laid down and went back to sleep.

#

About an hour and a half later, Alex woke up to someone tugging at her arm.

"Hey, Noah," she said. "You're awake awful early." It wasn't exactly that early and Alex knew it. It was about 6:30 a.m., which was about a normal waking time for him on mornings he went to preschool. But it was early for her on a Saturday. In the past, when she'd stayed over, Olivia had always quietly gotten up with Noah and let Alex sleep.

"Where's my mom?" Noah said.

"She's working, sweetie," Alex said, making sure to pull the covers up. She wasn't completely naked, but she still wanted to try and be modest.

"Where's Lucy?" Noah asked. He was old enough to know if Olivia was working, Lucy was normally there.

"I'm going to stay with you today," Alex said. "Is that ok?"

Noah gave Alex a funny look, as if he was thinking about it, then nodded. "Ok, Lex. Can I watch movie?"

"I'll tell you what," Alex said. "Why don't you go pick one out while I get up and you can put one on while I fix us some breakfast?"

Noah nodded and turned to leave to go find a movie. Alex got up, shut the door and quickly put some yoga pants on before shuttling out to the kitchen to start coffee. When she got there, there was a note in front of the coffee pot.

 _I turned the coffee to be done about 6:30 a.m. for when Noah wakes up. You'll probably need it! XOXO –Liv_

Alex smiled and poured a cup of coffee before looking through the cabinets and fridge to figure out what to fix Noah for breakfast.

"Noah, do you want eggs for breakfast?" Alex called out to the living room.

"No."

"Cereal?"

"No."

"Oatmeal?"

"No."

Alex sighed.

"What if I make us some pancakes?" she asked.

"With chocolate chips?" Noah asked, finally looking up at her.

"Um, hang on," Alex said. She dug through the drawers and cabinets to see if Olivia had any chocolate chips. There wasn't any. "There's no chocolate chips, buddy. How about I cut some fruit up on the pancakes?"

"No," Noah said. "I want chocolate chips."

"There are no chocolate chips, Noah," Alex said, a little more firmly, but still gently. "I'll just make us some eggs and pancakes."

"NO," Noah said. "I don't like eggs."

Alex cocked her head a little. She was pretty sure that wasn't true, but decided to go with it. She walked into the living room and knelt beside where he was sitting on the floor.

"Ok, well, Noah, you have to eat something for breakfast," Alex said. "Choose between cereal, oatmeal or eggs."

Noah sat quietly for a moment, not happy with his choices. "Cereal," he finally said.

Alex nodded and went fix both of them a bowl of cereal. She poured Noah some juice and put their bowls on the table with drinks.

"Breakfast is ready, Noah," Alex said. "Let's stop the movie and eat."

Noah stayed sitting.

Olivia was right. She had told Alex before about how grumpy Noah could be in the mornings. She'd seen a little of it during their vacation, but not like this. She sighed and walked into the living room.

"Noah, let's pause the movie, sweetheart," she said. "We can finish it after breakfast. Your cereal is getting soggy." She picked up the remote to pause the movie.

"I want oatmeal," Noah said, getting up from the floor.

Alex laughed internally. "Well, I already fixed cereal because you said you wanted cereal," Alex said. "If you eat your cereal and are still hungry, you can have some oatmeal."

Alex knew enough from Olivia that being gentle, yet firm with Noah was Olivia's parenting method, rather than giving in to the young boy all of the time.

Noah took a seat in front of his cereal and juice and Alex breathed a sigh of relief that he was eating. She sipped coffee while eating her cereal and scanning the New York Times.

She was midway through an article about the newest political scandal in Washington when she heard a thud. She looked over and saw Noah had somehow overturned both his juice and cereal bowl and was covered in milk and orange juice. Noah just stood there after jumping out of his chair.

Alex ran to the kitchen to get a towel to clean everything up.

"Noah, can you go get out of those clothes while I clean this up?" Alex said. "You're gonna need a bath."

"I don't want a bath," Noah whined.

"Noah, go, now," Alex said. "You're dripping. Just get out of those clothes and put something else on for now."

Noah did as he told while Alex worked to clean up the mess. She was thankful Olivia didn't have carpet in her dining area. When she finally got it cleaned up, she went to Noah's room to check on him. He had changed clothes as he was asked, but she could still see the sticky on him.

"You don't have to take a bath Noah, but we have to clean you up," she said.

She took Noah to the bathroom, got a wash rag and began to help him clean the milk and juice off his arms and legs. She heard her cellphone buzz in her robe pocket. Once Noah was clean, he went back to his movie. Alex put his clothes in the wash and looked at the message on her phone.

 _Olivia: How's it going with Noah? I've told you he's grumpy in the mornings, right?_

 _Alex: Great!_

She wasn't sure why she lied about the morning. It wasn't terrible by any means, but great was not a word you could use to describe it. But, Alex didn't want Olivia to worry or think Noah was too much for her to handle and call Lucy. She wanted to show Olivia she could handle Noah, even at his worse.

#

A bit later in the morning, and after a few more tantrums from Noah, Alex decided to get Noah out of the apartment and take him to the park to get some of his energy out. That seemed the cheer the boy up.

While they were there, she watched closely as he climbed on the equipment. She hadn't realized how stressful it would be to watch him playing. She'd been to the park with him and Olivia before, plenty of times, but Olivia was always there and, while Alex watched Noah, she never had the sole responsibility of watching him.

"Noah, please be careful," she shouted to him. "Don't jump off the slide like that."

A mom sitting on the bench near her smiled. "He's a cute kid," she said. "How old is he?"

"He's almost 4," Alex said, eyes never leaving Noah.

"That's a fun age," the woman said, keeping eyes on her own children. "My oldest is 7 and my youngest out there is 3. Do you have any other children?"

That question made Alex turn to the woman for a second, the question catching her off guard. "Oh, no, he's not my son," Alex said. "I mean, he's my girlfriend's son. She had to work today."

"Oh, I see," the woman said. "Well, you obviously care for him as your own. A lot of moms and babysitters here barely look up from their phones while their kids are playing. And he listens to you."

Alex laughed out loud. "Yeah, well, I'm a little nervous today," she said. "It's my first time watching him alone for any long period of time. And, he may be listening to me now, but this morning was a completely different story."

The woman laughed with Alex. "I'm Jill," she said. "It's nice to meet you."

"Alex. Nice to meet you, too."

"I wouldn't worry about this morning," Jill said. "He was probably just testing you if he's not used to you keeping him. My kids do that with every new babysitter they've had. I think you're doing pretty well, if you ask me."

"Thanks," Alex said, smiling as she continued to watch Noah playing.

#

After the park, Alex took Noah to lunch, then to her apartment. She figured he'd be ready for a nap soon. Finally, the day had turned around. Noah was in better spirits and they had a fun lunch with no mess. He even seemed excited to see where Alex lived.

"You live here?" Noah said, looking around Alex's apartment.

"I do," Alex said. "Do you like it?"

Noah shrugged.

"How about a nap? You played pretty hard this morning," Alex said, crossing her fingers he was.

"Ok," Noah said. He followed her to her bedroom, helped him take his shoes off and let him crawl up in the middle of her bed. She shut the door and grabbed some of her work while he was napping. She knew at this point it was probably the only time she'd have to work until Olivia came home.

She had just started working on her motions when she got another text from Olivia.

 _Olivia: I'm sorry I'm still dealing with all this. It'll probably be this evening before I'm home. How is everything? Should I call Lucy and give you a break?_

 _Alex: We're fine. All is well. No need to call Lucy. We're at my place and he's napping right now._

 _Olivia: Hm, if you say so. Maybe I should let you babysit more often. Thanks again, babe. I love you and will see you and Noah later._

Alex got about two hours of work done before Noah woke up. She didn't even hear him coming into the living room until he was standing right next to her.

"Did you have a good nap?" Alex asked.

"I had an accident, Lex," Noah said, his head hung.

Alex wasn't sure what she meant until she looked down to see his hands covering the wet spot on the front of his pants.

"Oh," Alex said. "Hey, it's ok. It happens."

"I didn't know where the potty was," Noah said.

"It's ok, Noah," Alex said. "I should have told you where it was before you went to sleep." She was sure the boy woke up in a new place and was probably a little scared. "Let's get you some dry clothes on."

Alex was thankful she had anticipated Noah getting dirty at the park and packed another outfit. He didn't get that dirty at the park, but the clothes were going to come in handy now.

Once Noah was cleaned up and changed, she went into the bedroom – her bedroom – where Noah had been napping. Sure enough, there was a big wet spot on her bed – right on her $250 300-count Egyptian sheets.

"They're just sheets, Alex," she mumbled to herself as she pulled them off the bed. She pre-treated them and put them in some cold water to soak for a while, then re-joined Noah in the living room.

"Do you want to play a game?" Alex asked, sitting down on the couch next to Noah.

"I'm sorry I peed in your bed," Noah said. He was still bothered by his accident.

Alex reached out and pulled him to her for a hug. "It's ok. You're not in trouble; accidents happen. You're in a new place and I goofed up and didn't tell you where the bathroom was. So, it was kind of my fault."

Noah smiled and hugged Alex back.

"Whatcha doing, Lex?" Noah asked, pointing to Alex's books and notes on the coffee table.

"I am working," Alex said.

"Like Mom?" Noah asked.

"Well, not exactly," Alex said. "But we both work to put bad guys and girls in jail."

"Are you police, too?" Noah asked.

"No. I'm what's called a lawyer," Alex said. "So, when your mom arrests someone she thinks did a bad thing and takes them to jail, lawyers get to decide argue whether he's innocent or guilty."

"Like on tv?" Noah said.

"Close enough," Alex said. "My job is to work on the same side as your mom. So I try to keep the bad guy in jail. But another lawyer, who works for the bad guy, tries to help him."

"Why help the bad guy?" Noah said.

"So he can get a fair trial," Alex said. Noah looked at her funny. She was clearing talking over his head now.

"Think about it like this: have you ever done something you got in trouble with your mom for?" Alex asked.

"Uh huh," Noah said. "I broke Mommy's watch and got time out."

"I remember," Alex said. "Ok, so Mommy was mad, huh?"

"Uh huh," Noah said.

"Now, if we were in court, I was try to get your mom to give you the longest time out possible," Alex said.

"What? Why?" Noah said, eyes-wide.

"Well, that's my job," Alex said. "But, let's say you broke that watch by accident."

"I didn't mean to break it," Noah said. "I was putting it away. Mom told me to be careful."

"That's right," Alex said. "So, if I was your lawyer, I would say to your Mom, 'Noah shouldn't have been playing with the watch, but he was trying to do the right thing and put it away,' or something like that."

"I was," Noah said.

"I know you were," Alex said. "And when you told your Mom that, what did she do?"

"She told me I only had a few minutes' timeout," Noah said. "And she let me watch a movie. She wasn't going to."

"Do you think that was fair?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Noah said.

"So, you did something wrong, but you didn't mean to break your Mom's watch, right?" Alex said. "But, if you got her watch and broke it on purpose, or didn't listen to her when she told you to put it away, do you think your Mom would have been madder?"

"Yeah," Noah said.

"So, you got in a little trouble, but not too much trouble," Alex said.

Noah nodded. "That's your job?"

"Kind of," Alex said. "Your mom figures out who did the bad thing, like breaking the watch. She tells me what she found, and then I talk to another person like me and we come up with a punishment if the person is guilty. Then we let a judge decide if it's fair."

"I think I understand," Noah said.

"It's ok if you don't," Alex said. "I don't understand sometimes."

"Do you work with Mom? Like Fin?" Noah asked.

"Not anymore, but we used to," Alex said. "Do you know Barba?"

Noah nodded.

"I used to have his job," Alex said. "But that's been a long time."

"You should go work with Mommy again," Noah said.

"Well, we can't now," Alex said. "When I worked with your mom before, we were just friends."

"You're girlfriends now," Noah said, grinning. "Mom told me."

"Yes," Alex said.

"That means you kiss," Noah said.

Alex laughed. "Yes, we do kiss and spend time together."

Noah got up and walked over to a bookshelf, pointing at a picture on it.

"You have a picture of me!" he said. The picture was one they had taken 4th of July weekend at the beach. It was one of Alex's favorite.

"I do," Alex said. "I have one on the fridge, too. And a picture you drew me."

Noah smiled, as Alex showed him the photo and drawing on the fridge. In her entire life, Alex had always kept her fridge clear of magnets and photos and all the stuff that cluttered them up. It wasn't until Olivia came back into her life – and Noah – that she no longer cared about how the fridge looked and how fancy the sheets on the bed were.

After Noah's questions, the two of them spent the afternoon playing game, then Noah helped Alex cook dinner for Alex. In fact, Noah had even requested 'Lex spaghetti.' Alex's heart melted a little bit when she realized he remembered something she cooked and actually liked it.

When Olivia finally made it to Alex's apartment, after a 13-hour work day, she was exhausted, and hungry.

"I'll have dinner ready soon, babe," Alex said. "Can you wait a few minutes?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, giving Alex a kiss on the cheek as the blonde was chopping tomatoes for the salad. "How was Noah?"

"He was…fine," Alex said.

"See, you're always lying when you say fine," Olivia said. "How bad was it?"

"We survived, didn't we, Noah?" Alex said.

Noah nodded. "Lex gonna be my…law-yer…when you put me in time out," he said.

Olivia chuckled and Alex smiled. "Is that right? What happened to supporting your girlfriend?" she teased.

"Hey, I just want justice," Alex said. "Isn't that right Noah?"

"Yep!"

"Oh, boy," Olivia said. "So, things were really ok today?"

Alex turned around and wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist. "No," she said. "Even with the spills and mess, today was perfect. The only way it could have gotten better is if we'd had you here to spend it." She leaned forward and gave Olivia a kiss.

"I missed you today," Olivia said. "Both of you."

"We missed you, too," Alex said.

Olivia yawned. "I think I'm going to take a short nap while you're getting dinner ready," she said. "Is that ok?"

"Of course," Alex said. She was focused again on her salad. "Noah and I can handle getting dinner ready. Go sleep."

Olivia shook her head, smiling and headed off to the bedroom. Just as Alex was putting the final touches on the salad, she heard Olivia holler from the bedroom.

"Why isn't there any sheets on your bed?"

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	17. Birthday

_A/N: A bit shorter than other chapters. Mostly fun stuff, and planting some seeds for down the road._

* * *

 **BIRTHDAY**

"I can't believe you talked me into doing this," Olivia said.

"Well, I can't believe I let a 4-year-old talk me into jumping in a ball pit," Alex said.

They were driving home from Noah's 4th birthday party, the young boy exhausted and zonked out in the back.

"That's what you get for coming up with this fabulous idea to throw a birthday party with a dozen toddlers in some place with a rodent mascot," Olivia said.

"Noah loved it, so no regrets. Ok, maybe a few," Alex said, grinning. "Besides, I can't believe you weren't going to have a party for him."

"He's 4. He'll barely remember this," Olivia scoffed. "And I was going to have a party for him."

"Inviting your squad and Lucy over for cake isn't a party," Alex said. "But 12 kids in super hero costumes, pizza, a germ-infested ball pit…now that's a party. At least for a 4-year-old."

"I bet you had princess birthday parties as a kid, didn't you?" Olivia teased.

"I did, and before they were even cool," Alex said.

"Alexandra Cabot, the original Elsa," Olivia said, smirking.

"Heyyyy! Was that an Ice Princess joke?" Alex said. Olivia continued grinning while driving. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that one. Maybe next year I'll plan a pool party for Noah."

"In December?" Olivia said. "And what's this next year? Feeling awful confident in yourself, are you?"

Alex smirked. "Well, after the things you said and the noises you made last night…wouldn't you come to that conclusion?"

Olivia immediately blushed, recalling the flirting, teasing and taunting that led up to Alex giving Olivia a strip tease, then pleasuring her in ways she never had before. That, combined with the buildup and Olivia's stress over the party, made Olivia completely lose herself in Alex.

"I mean, what was it you said when I slipped my –"

"Ok! That's enough," Olivia said, thoroughly embarrassed now. "Noah could wake up any moment. You win. And you can plan any kind of party you want next year for Noah, and for as many years as you want after that."

Alex chuckled. "I'm going to hold you to that, you know."

"Oh, I have no doubt you will…your highness," Olivia said, getting in just one more ribbing as retribution for Alex embarrassing her.

Alex tilted her head toward Olivia, giving her some side eye before smiling and reaching out to take her hand as they finished driving back to Olivia's apartment.

#

The following day Noah and Olivia joined Alex and her father at Alex's apartment. John Cabot wanted to celebrate Noah's birthday, but was unable to make it down for the Saturday party.

After lunch and cake, John brought out far too many gifts for Noah, who was in heaven with round 2 of gifts and cake. Once gifts were open, he lost all interest in the adults and focused on his new monster truck.

"John, you know Christmas is here in a week," Olivia said.

"Yeah, don't you think you may be spoiling a Noah a little," Alex said, smiling.

"Oh, like you don't either," Olivia laughed. "I don't know what I'm going to do with the two of you."

"Alex, you never complained about me spoiling you," John teased.

Olivia laughed. "Yes, Alex told me about all the princess parties when she was a little girl."

"A little girl?" John said. "Hell, I'm pretty sure she was wearing a tiara and a 'princess' dress for her Sweet 16. No, it was definitely 16 because that's when we bought her a car."

"Daaadddddyyy!" Alex said, mortified. She had always played down her spoiled rich girl upbringing around Olivia, and well, anyone she worked with.

Olivia bust out laughing. "Wow, so all these years of telling me you weren't a spoiled rich girl was a lie."

"Technically, I think I said I wasn't a spoiled rich brat," Alex said. "Brat being the key word."

"Lex is a brat!" Noah said, surprising all of them. Apparently, he had made his way back over and was listening in on part of the conversation.

"Please tell them I am was not a brat," Alex said to her dad.

"She wasn't brat most of the time," John said.

"Hmm, ok, I'll take that," Alex said. "Besides, it's not MY fault you spoiled me."

"That's true," John said. "Your mother blamed me for all of that. She got so mad when I bought you that car. Looking back, I probably should have told her first."

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "Well, spoiled or not, I think Alex turned out pretty well. In fact, if you didn't know it about her, you probably wouldn't know. Aside from the occasional call to 'Uncle Bill,' that is."

"Thank you," Alex said, feeling vindicated. "And I wouldn't have had to of made those calls to Uncle Bill if not for my SVU detectives." She grinned and gave Olivia a slight nudge. Olivia just rolled her eyes at the blonde.

"You know, speaking of Christmas coming up, you never got back with me about your plans," John said, looking at Alex. "Karen was wanting to start planning dinner for everyone. She's excited to meet Olivia and Noah and was disappointed she couldn't join us today."

Karen was John's girlfriend he had been seeing for a few months. Alex had met her once, briefly and unexpectedly.

"I…um…," Alex looked to Olivia.

"It's my fault," Olivia said. "I should be off, but…it's just been busy unfortunately."

"I understand," John said. "Alex, you can still come, right? Bring Noah if you want."

"Um, I think Liv and I will have to talk about that," Alex said.

John gave Alex a confused looked, like he wasn't quite buying her excuse.

"Lucy will want to spend some time with Noah, so I'll check with her and we'll work something out," Olivia said. "Hopefully I'll have time off and we won't have to worry. I'll talk to Lucy tomorrow and we should be able to give you some sort of idea by Tuesday."

"Sounds good, Olivia," John said. "I'll let Karen know. She'll be happy to get started on meal prep."

Olivia reached out and took Alex's friend, seeing her girlfriend take a deep breath.

John left a couple of hours later. Noah was completely entertained by his new toys so Olivia and Alex took an opportunity to lay on the couch and watch a movie.

"So, are we going to avoid your dad's girlfriend forever?" Olivia asked.

"You've been lucky enough to avoid her," Alex said. "I had to meet her that day he ambushed me in my office with her. That was the most awkward lunch in my life."

"Is she really that bad?" Olivia asked. "Or do you just not like her because she's not your mom?"

"Excuse me?" Alex said. "Yes, she's that bad!

"Ok, I was just asking," Olivia said. "I mean, you don't want to do to your dad what he did to you with me."

"Liv, this is completely different," Alex said. "I'd appreciate your support."

"You have my support, babe," Olivia said. "I mean, I basically lied to your dad to cover for you."

"Then trust me when I tell you she's that bad," Alex said.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex, who was laying in front of her, and put a kiss on her cheek.

"Well, then if you want me to hate her, I'll hate her," Olivia said. "But you know as well as I do we have to visit for Christmas. I worked thanksgiving, so I have the time off unless there is an emergency…besides my girlfriend hating her dad's girlfriend."

"Ugh, fine. We'll go," Alex said.

"Hm, who's being spoiled now?" Olivia teased.

"Mom," Noah said, walking over with his toys. "Whatcha doing?"

"We're watching a movie," Olivia said. "Do you want to join us?"

"Ok," Noah said, sitting in the floor in front of them.

"We were just talking about going to see John for Christmas next week," Olivia said. "What do you think of that?"

Noah turned around to look at them. "Will Santa know where I am?"

Alex and Olivia chuckled. "Yeah, buddy, he'll find you," Olivia said.

"Ok," Noah said. He turned back around to look at the TV, and then turned back around toward them. "Is John my grandpa?"

Olivia and Alex were both a little caught off guard by the question. "Um, what made you think of that?" Alex asked, deflecting his question with another question.

"Lucy has a grandma and grandpa," Noah said. "Her grandma came to see her. She said she was Lucy's mom's mom."

"Well, Noah, you know my Mom went to heaven, right?" Olivia said. "Grandma Serena?"

"Yeah," Noah said. "John is Lex's dad?"

"Yes," Olivia said. "John is Alex's dad. But…um, well…because he's not my dad, he's not your grandpa."

"Oh," Noah said, disappointed. "Can he be? I want a grandpa."

"Come here," Alex said. She reached out for Noah and pushed his hair back from his face, resting her hand on his shoulders. "I think he can be like a grandpa, even if he's not really. Would that be ok? I think he would like that."

"Ok," Noah said. "Kind of like you are like my mommy sometimes?"

"Um, yeah, something like that," Alex said. Olivia tightened her grip on Alex, the brunette enjoying how Alex was helping take on the difficult conversation with Noah.

#

After Noah went to bed, Alex got ready to leave. It was Sunday night and she had to be at work extra early the next morning. Neither her nor Olivia had talked about their conversation with Noah yet.

Olivia walked Alex to the door, stopping to take her hand.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Olivia said. "You are so great with Noah's questions sometimes. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to tell him."

"I'm glad to help," Alex said. "I mean, we knew when we started this that Noah was part of it, and we had to know at some point he would have questions. Of course, he's going to relate it to what he does know and understand from other things."

"I…uh…hope it didn't make things awkward," Olivia said.

"Never," Alex said. "Listen, I know I love you and I know I want a future with you…and Noah. But we're also smart enough to be darn sure about everything because of Noah."

"I love you," Olivia said, giving Alex a hug. "I'm going to miss you tonight. I get used to you on the weekends."

Alex leaned into Olivia and kissed her. "I love you, too. And I feel the same way. But…"

"No, I know, but I can still miss you, right?" Olivia said.

"You better always miss me when I'm gone," Alex said.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	18. Christmas - Part 1

_A/N: Christmas is here. It'll be a 2-parter (eh, maybe 3, depending on my time tomorrow). Some tension building here, and Alex is a little out of sorts with Dad's girlfriend being around. But, just as a teaser, she also has some other stuff going on causing stress that we'll get into soon._

* * *

 **CHRISTMAS - PART 1**

"Do we really have to do this?" Alex said as she pulled into her dad's place in the Hamptons on Christmas Eve.

"You're driving, so I suppose you could keep going," Olivia teased.

"Don't tempt me," Alex said, glancing over at Olivia. She parked the car and Olivia reached over and squeezed her hand.

"It'll be fine," Olivia said. She gave Alex an encouraging smile before they got out of the car.

Noah fell asleep on the drive, so Olivia packed him inside while Alex got their bags out. She wanted one more moment of peace before having to play nice with her dad's girlfriend.

John let Olivia in and directed her up to their room, then he went outside to help Alex with the luggage.

When Olivia put Noah down, she rejoined Alex and John in the living room just as Karen was coming out of the kitchen.

"Alexandra!" Karen said loudly, going straight to Alex to pull her in for a big hug.

Olivia grinned for a moment at how uncomfortable looked…that is until Karen looked her way.

"You must be Olivia!" Karen let go of Alex and then gave Olivia a hug, nearly squeezing the detective to death. Olivia saw Alex raise her eyebrows in an I-told-you-so manner.

"Nice to meet you," Olivia said politely when Karen let go.

"Where is Noah?" Karen asked looking around

"He's napping right now," Alex said firmly. "We should probably keep it down so he doesn't wake up."

Olivia tensed up. She could tell on the drive over Alex was on the edge. Her passive-aggressive comment just gave her a hint of how the next couple of days were going to go.

Karen looked a little hurt, but didn't say anything.

"I have dinner in the oven, so it'll be a while," Karen said. "John, why don't you open us a bottle of wine so I can get to know these ladies a little better."

John smiled and kissed Karen on the cheek before going to the kitchen. He was clearly smitten with the woman.

Everyone retired to the couch and John brought out a bottle of wine and four glasses. He made quick work of the cork and poured them each a glass of wine.

"So, John hasn't told me all that much about you, Olivia," Karen said, clearly intending to dominate the conversation. "How did you and Alex meet?"

"Yeah, I've pretty much told her nothing about your history," John admitted. "I figured it's best left to the two of you."

Alex picked up her wine and took a drink, leaving Olivia to answer since she was addressed.

"Well, we worked together a long time ago. I'm an SVU detective and Alex of course is a prosecutor," Olivia said. "So that's how we met. We became friends and well, Alex was gone for a while-"

"Oh, you mean when Alex died? Or well, was in witness protection?" Karen said, interrupting.

Olivia glanced at Alex to see how she was handling the casual mention of her "death." So far, so good.

"Um, well, yeah," Olivia said. "Anyway, at some point she came back and then was reassigned to SVU. We'd been friends for a while. Anyway, we ran into each other in the late spring up here actually."

"Oh, do you have a home here, too?" Karen asked.

"Oh, no, not me," Olivia said. "Just a friend of a friend."

"Well, that makes more sense. I can't imagine a detective's salary would afford something like that unless you have family money," Karen said.

Olivia was a little taken aback at how blunt Karen was. She was starting to see what Alex disliked, but she wasn't offended. Everything Karen said was true.

"Olivia is actually a lieutenant of special victims unit," Alex said. "She hasn't been just a detective in a long time."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it," Karen said. "You know that, right, Olivia?"

"Yeah, I know," Olivia said. "It's fine." Alex rolled her eyes and took another drink of wine. John seemed oblivious to the 20-questions taking place.

"Tell me about Noah," Karen said. "He's four, right?"

"Yeah, he just turned four," Olivia said.

"Well, I've seen pictures," Karen said. "He is adorable. He has some of your dark features. Does he look more like you than his father?"

Olivia looked at Alex, then to John. He really had told her nothing, which she was partly grateful for, but in the moment, she was mortified. John finally took noticed of Olivia's deer in the headlight look.

"Honey, that's a bit of a long story," John said. "Perhaps Olivia can share that another time?"

"Oh, I'm sorry for getting carried away," Karen said. "You'll have to forgive me. I've just heard so much about all of you, but very little details about your lives."

"It's quite alright," Olivia said. She smiled at the woman, and took some solace in know Karen realized she was getting carried away with questions. "How did you and John meet?"

Olivia thought it best if she asked some questions for a while because she was sure if Karen asked anymore, Alex would polish off the wine bottle herself before dinner was done.

"We actually met years ago, actually," Karen said. "We faced each other in court one time when John had the state senator Thomas' case up in Albany. Of course, we were opposite counsel then. I won that case, by the way. Anyway, it was forever ago. But then, several months ago we literally ran into each other in the bagel shop out here. He spilled his coffee on me, actually, and didn't recognize me, but I knew him. I recognized those eyes immediately."

"You didn't tell me you already knew each other," Alex said to John, suddenly taking interest.

"Well, you didn't exactly ask many questions," John said.

"I would hardly say we knew each other, at least well," Karen said. "But, anyway, he was a gentleman when he spilled his coffee on me. Offered to replace or dry cleaning, which of course meant I had to give him my phone number. When he called, he invited me to dinner, as a way to 'make up' for everything."

"If I recall, I bought you dinner that night and breakfast the next morning," John teased, nudging Karen.

"Oh my God, dad," Alex said. "Please stop."

"Come on, Alex," John said. "We're all adults here. Don't tell me the two of you didn't hop in bed soon after, especially as long as it took you to get together."

Olivia blushed. Yeah, they hadn't waited, either.

"John, you're embarrassing Alex," Karen interjected. "No child wants to hear too much about their parent's love life."

"Thank you, Karen," Alex said.

"Ok, fine," John said.

"I think I'm going to go check on Noah," Olivia said. "Alex, do you want to come with?" She looked up at John and Karen. "Noah loves when 'Lex' is there to wake him up."

"Lex?" Karen said. "That's the most adorable name I've heard."

Alex silently groaned and shot Olivia a look.

"Yeah, let's go," Alex said.

"Well, I'll go check to see how dinner is progressing," Karen said. "Olivia, you and 'Lex' just relax and come back down when you're ready. It'll be another hour before we're ready."

Olivia and Alex made their way upstairs and before they reached Noah's room, Alex nearly pushed Olivia into their bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

Before Alex could speak, Olivia stopped her, knowing exactly what she was going to say.

"Alex, I'm sorry about the Lex thing," Olivia said. "I was just trying to distract them and get you out of that situation."

"Yeah, well, thanks a lot for making it worse," Alex said.

"Sweetheart…"

"Don't sweetheart me," Alex said. "Ugh, we should just go. I can't handle another day of her. Heck, I don't know if I can tolerate her tonight. And my dad! What is his deal? He would never talk about his sex life with my mom in front of me."

"Babe, you've said yourself he's loosened up a lot in the past few years," Olivia said. "He's probably gotten used to the bachelor life, and you're not exactly young enough to be his little girl anymore."

"So now I'm old?" Alex said.

"That's not what I said," Olivia said, realizing nothing she said was probably going to make much difference.

"And what the fuck? They knew each other? I remember that case when he was representing that state senator being sued," Alex said. "That was when Mom was still alive."

"Ok, so they'd met before," Olivia said. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah, but she said she remembered his 'eyes,'" Alex said. "Ugh."

"Hon, that doesn't mean much," Olivia said. "You and your dad have the same eyes, and they are beautiful."

"Stop defending her," Alex demanded.

"Ok, I'm sorry," Olivia said. "Can we please just breathe though? I understand why you aren't crazy about her. She's…intense. But, maybe harmless."

"Hmph," Alex said. "We'll see."

"Ok, well, your dad wasn't crazy about me at first," Olivia said.

"That's different," Alex said.

"It is, but, you made it clear to him you didn't care," Olivia said. "Listen, your dad clearly likes her. So, let's just relax a bit, lay down maybe. If you're still feeling this way after dinner, we'll…I don't know, we'll go to a hotel if you want. Or home."

Alex finally took a deep breath. "Promise?"

"I promise," Olivia said. "But during dinner, maybe slow down on a wine a little bit?"

Uh oh. Olivia knew as soon as the words came out of her mouth she was in trouble. Alex shot her an icy glare.

"I'm gonna go check on Noah," Alex snapped. "And if he's still sleeping, I'll nap with him."

She turned and left, slamming the door behind her. Olivia was sure everyone in the house heard it, too.

* * *

 _A/N 2: In part 2, we'll get plenty of Noah. Don't worry. But we'll also see Alex/Karen butt heads a little more and Olivia try to keep Alex calm._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	19. Christmas - Part 2

_A/N: Ok, there will be a part 3 cause I want to get something out tonight before bed. But part 3 will likely be short and pure Christmas Day fluff with mostly all Noah._

* * *

 **CHRISTMAS - PART 2**

"These mashed potatoes are delicious, Karen," Olivia said. They were sitting around the table for Christmas Eve dinner. Alex and Noah napped right up until dinner time.

"Thank you, but I can't take credit for them," Karen said. "It's Alex's mother's recipe."

 _Oh_. Olivia smiled and glanced over at Alex. Alex was picking at her food. She looked more interested in the wine than the food.

Dinner was relatively quiet; the tension from earlier was still heavy.

"Santa come tonight?" Noah asked.

"Hey sure will, buddy," John said. He was sitting next to Noah. "But we also get to open a couple of gifts tonight, I think."

"We do?" Noah said. His eyes lit up and he looked for Olivia.

"We do," Olivia said, smiling at the young boy. "Alex's family opens some gifts on Christmas Eve, and since we're here, we'll do what they do."

"When in Rome," Karen joked.

"Lex, will Santa visit you?" Noah asked.

Alex finally cracked a smile and looked down at him. "I sure hope so."

"What did you ask Santa for?" Karen asked, proceeding cautiously.

"ROBO-DINO!" Noah said, all excited.

Everyone laughed a little at his excitement.

"What's robo dino?" Karen asked.

"Lex, tell her about the dinosaur we saw," Noah said, tugging at Alex.

"It's a dinosaur that's remote controlled," Alex explained. "It's nearly half a big as him."

"It's that tall!" Noah said, holding his hand next to him on the floor. It was a bit exaggerated, but his awe about Christmas lightened the mood for everyone.

"Well, hopefully Santa got the message," John teased.

Alex grinned at Olivia.

"Oh, Santa definitely got the message," Olivia said, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend. Santa got the message when Alex came home with it one day without telling "Santa".

The mood picked up and the five of them finished dinner. When they were done, things seemed almost normal.

"Karen, why don't you let me and Olivia clean up the dinner dishes?" Alex said. "Since you went to all the trouble."

John smiled, hoping Alex was coming around.

"Ok," Karen said. "John, if you can entertain Noah, I'll go up to our bedroom and finish wrapping a few gifts."

She got up and kissed John on the cheek before leaving.

Alex clenched her teeth and sat there until John took Noah to the living room, then her and Olivia started clearing the dinner dishes.

"Dinner was good," Olivia said, making small talk with Alex as they were scraping dishes and rinsing them. Alex was silent.

"Or not," Olivia said.

"Did you hear her?" Alex said.

"Um…"

" _Our bedroom?_ " Alex said. "So, she just lives with him now? I mean, doesn't she have her own house or two?"

Olivia learned the lesson earlier and said nothing. Just nodded to Alex knew she was listening.

"I mean, at least she was less annoying with her questions tonight, but still," Alex said. She handed another place to Olivia to put into the dish washer.

"Uh huh," Olivia said.

"Also, her mashed potatoes sucked," Alex said. "She may have followed Mom's recipe, but they were nothing like them. Noah could have followed directions better."

Olivia chucked.

"Olivia, don't…"

"I didn't say anything, sweetheart," Olivia said, standing up and grabbing Alex's wet hands. "And I agree, her mashed potatoes sucked. I just was trying to find a way to be polite."

Alex let out a breath and relaxed some. "You think I'm being irrational."

"Nope," Olivia said. "I think you are behaving perfectly normal."

"You're lying, but I love you for it," Alex said. She kissed Olivia on the cheek. "You learned from earlier I take it?" She grinned at Olivia.

"I did."

"Well, I'm sorry I yelled at you," Alex said. "Thank you for listening to me."

#

After everything was cleaned up and after Noah asking nearly 100 times, Olivia finally agreed that he could open gift from her and Alex and one gift from John.

Noah wasted no time in tearing into the paper, not even caring about how much time Alex spent on wrapping his Batman Legos. The same attention to detail – or lack of – was given to the gift Karen had just finished wrapping up for Noah from John – a Batman mask.

Noah immediately put it on to play with the matching Legos, which got dumped out on the floor.

The adults sat around the living room watching Noah play, with the fire going. Alex sat on the floor, leaning against the chair Olivia was sitting in.

"When do you go back to pre-school, Noah?" John asked.

"I don't know," Noah answered, looking to Olivia.

"Next week," she said.

"It's grandparent day," Noah added. "Can you come?" He was looking up to John, who immediately looked at Olivia and Alex. They had hoped Noah would forget about the conversation, and were surprised to hear about grandparent day.

"Um, well, you would need to ask your mom about that," John said.

"Do you want John to go with you?" Olivia asked. "He asked a few days ago if you were his grandpa. We explained to him that you're kind of like a grandpa." She explained to John.

"I want him to go," Noah said.

John smiled. "Ok, buddy," he said. "I'll be happy to go with you." Alex smiled thinking about how they were becoming more of a family.

"You be my grandma and go?" Noah said, looking at Karen, stunning the adults.

Alex laughed out loud sarcastically, but didn't mean to.

"Well…" Olivia said.

"You know, Noah, I can't," Karen said. "I'm actually going to be out of town, but thank you for asking."

"Is Karen and John like you and Mommy?" Noah asked, looking to Alex.

"Karen is my special friend," John said. He wasn't sure how much Noah understood about relationships, but he could tell everyone was uncomfortable.

"So you don't kiss like Mommy and Lex?" Noah asked.

"Ok! On that note, I'm going to fix some hot chocolate or get more drinks," Karen said, hopping up. "Can I get anything?"

"I'll take some coco," Olivia said.

"More wine, please," Alex said, rolling her eyes and polishing off her glass. Olivia gave her a concerned nudge.

"Noah, do you like baseball?" John asked.

"Uh huh," Noah said. Olivia wasn't sure he knew much about what baseball was, but he would answer positively to anything John asked.

"Why don't you come with me to see my baseball collection?" John said. "Maybe you and I can figure out this grandpa thing and tag team your mommy and Lex."

Olivia smiled and shook her head; even Alex let out a small smile, as annoyed as she was about the 'grandma' thing.

Karen came back a few minutes later with Olivia's hot chocolate and Alex a glass of wine. She only poured a half of a glass, picking up on a subtle signal from Olivia when she left the room earlier. Alex didn't notice the unspoken signal earlier, but she certainly noticed the half glass, but didn't say anything.

"Alex, I know this is all probably awkward for you," Karen said, not beating around the bush. "I know your dad kind of sprung me on you that day in your office."

"Yeah," Alex asked.

"SO, I understand the attitude with me," Karen said.

"I don't have an attitude," Alex said. "I just want to make sure my dad is making good choices."

"Ok, and I want him to be happy," Karen said. "I mean, he's 70-years-old. He's made pretty good decisions his entire life."

It was clear Karen was trying to make nice, but also wasn't going to back down.

Alex rolled her eyes. Olivia sat silently, figuring it best not to get involved unless necessary.

"Look, I'm not after his money; I have enough of my own," Karen said. "And I have nothing but respect for you and your mother's memory. But I care deeply for him and unless he wants me to, I'm not going away just because you are acting like a teenager."

Olivia's jaw clenched. She didn't have a major problem with Karen, but she certainly wasn't going to let her talk to Alex like that.

"I think Alex just needs a little patience," Olivia said. "And I think this issue is between Alex and her dad, not you."

Karen smiled. "You have a protective one, huh?" she said to Alex. "Look, I will give you as much space as you need," she continued. "But, unless something changes, you and I are going to have to figure out how to get along."

"Fine," Alex said. "No, I mean, you're right. He can make his own decisions. I will…try to accept that."

"Good," Karen said, as if everything was settled, even it wasn't. "You know, in February John and I are going to Hilton Head, South Carolina, for a week. The three of you should come if you can get away, at least for a long weekend."

Olivia chuckled to herself. In Karen's mind, everything was fixed and they were all BFFs now.

"We can't," Alex said.

"You don't even know the date," Karen said.

"I'm going to be gone all of February," Alex said.

"You're what?" Olivia said. It was the first Olivia was hearing of it.

"Um, a leadership program in Albany," Alex said. "I mentioned it."

"You did not," Olivia said. She then realized Karen was still in the room. "Or, maybe. We can talk about it later."

"Well, if something changes, we'd love to have you," Karen said. "I'm going to go check on the boys."

#

Alex managed to avoid the conversation with Olivia until Noah was tucked into bed later that night and they were in bed themselves.

"So…Albany," Olivia asked.

"I thought I told you," Alex said. "I was sure I mentioned it a couple months ago, but it was when you were pretty busy, so maybe you didn't hear me."

Olivia sighed. It was possible. She hadn't been the best listener to during those times.

"Oh," Olivia said. "It's possible. I'm sorry if I didn't remember. But…you haven't mentioned it since?"

"Well, you seemed pretty unfazed when I told you," Alex said. "And, I guess I was just avoiding it, putting it off."

"You're going to Albany for a month," Olivia said. "I really wish you had mentioned that."

"Actually…two months," Alex said.

"I'm sorry…what?" Olivia said.

"I actually leave mid-January and come back mid-March," Alex said.

"Mid-January as in like TWO WEEKS?" Olivia said. "When were you planning to tell me again? What, were you going to call me from the road?"

"No, I was going to tell you after we got back from this trip," Alex said. "And I waited because I wanted to make sure I was going. I just got the final go ahead earlier this week from the DA."

"So you've known all week?" Olivia said.

"I'm sorry, Liv," Alex said. "It's part of why I've been so stressed. I didn't want to have this conversation."

"Look, I'm happy for you," Olivia said. "I'd never want to stand in your way of doing stuff like that. But…two months?"

"I know, it's a long time," Alex said. "But it's only 4-days per week, so I'll have long weekends that I'll come home for."

Olivia sighed.

"I'm sorry," Alex said again.

"I know," Olivia said. "I wish you'd told me sooner. Or told me again, talked to me about it, but I understand."

"You're not mad?" Alex said.

"I'm disappointed," Olivia said. "Not in you, but I'll miss you."

"I know, I'll miss you, too. And Noah," Alex said.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "Speaking of Noah…we'll need to talk to him. He's still young, and if you're suddenly not around….well, I just have to make sure he's ok."

"Oh, I … I didn't think of that," Alex said. "I mean, I knew I'd miss Noah…I just didn't consider him missing me."

"Alex, of course he'll miss you," Olivia said. "He loves you."

"I know," Alex said. "And I love him, too."

Olivia kissed Alex on the forehead. "I know you do," she said. "Just…please do me a favor in the future?"

Alex nodded, waiting for Olivia to finish.

"The decisions you make affect more than just you…and me," Olivia said. "Just talk to me about these things, especially big decisions like you being gone for two months."

"I will," Alex said. "I'm still figuring out all of this … family thing."

"I know," Olivia said. "And I love that you are still here and willing to do it with me."

* * *

 _A/N: You all have to know, it's killing me to not throw in crazy angst in this story. I'm trying to keep the drama mostly the external stuff with them, rather than A/O themselves, but there are some small bumps coming. But no crazy tension/angst, I promise :-)_

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	20. Christmas Day

_A/N: Thanks for continuing to read. Fun chapter here. I forgot a question for the last chapter. Someone asked about referring to Olivia as a detective, when she's a Lieutenant. So, at least in my experience, I would consider Olivia still a detective, even though she's a lieutenant, since detective is a job function and Lt. is a rank. So, rank wise, Rollins/Carisi are officers, who work as detectives, so are referred to as detectives. Liv is a Lt. over the SVU detectives, but it's still part of her job function (at least that's how I interpret it based on my experience...I have no idea how NYPD does it specifically). So I'd say she's a detective, but refer to her as Lt. Benson. Hope that helps clear up my train of thought. It was a good question._

 _I will be gone for ONE WEEK on vacation, well, actually 8 days, starting Friday. So, this could be the last chapter until I'm back, but I think it's a good stopping point. If I add one more tomorrow night, it'll be a filler before Alex heads off to Albany. I will try to do that, but I can't promise. Lots of work to get done before then._

* * *

 **CHRISTMAS DAY**

"Mommy! Lex! Mommy! Wake up! Santa came!"

Olivia groaned. It was so early Christmas morning and Noah was yanking at her arm.

"Mommmmmmmy!"

"Ok, Noah," Olivia said. "Go ahead to the living room and I'll be right there. But…don't open anything yet."

Noah ran out of the room and Olivia and Alex heard him scuffling through the house.

"What time is it?" Alex grumbled.

"It's 7 a.m., which is that time I told him he had to wait until," Olivia said. "He's probably been awake for an hour waiting."

"You should have told him 9 a.m.," Alex said.

Olivia kissed Alex and got up. "You coming?" she said as she pulled her robe on and tightened it up.

"I'll be there in a minute," Alex said. "I have a killer headache."

"I figured," Olivia said. "I left water and pills on the night stand last night for that very reason."

Alex rolled over and grabbed the water.

Olivia grinned. "Maybe next time you'll listen to me when I tell you to slow down on the wine," she said, throwing a smirk toward the blonde, then turned back toward the door.

 _WHACK!_ A pillow went flying across the room and hit Olivia in the back of the head.

"Hey!" Olivia said, turning around, but smiling.

"And maybe next time you'll remember my aim is impeccable," Alex smirked.

#

A short time later, everyone was downstairs and Noah wasted no time tearing into his gifts – of course finding his Santa gift first.

"ROBO-DINO!" he exclaimed. "Look, Lex! Just like the one we saw!"

"Santa must have thought you were a really good boy," Alex said, heart full of love at how happy he was at the gift from "Santa."

John and Karen sat nearby, drinking coffee and smiling at the boy, too. He was the star of the show and made everyone forget – at least for the time – about any problems they all had.

Everyone else opened gifts too. Alex got Olivia a nice cashmere sweater, new purse and tickets to a show Olivia had been talking about. Olivia got Alex a pair of heels she knew the woman had been drooling over and then pulled out a smaller box and handed it to Alex to unwrap.

"Liv?" Alex said, looking at the small square wrapped box. "We had a limit."

"Yes, and I know exactly how much that purse cost. It went over the limit all on its own," Olivia joked.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was a knock-off?" Alex asked, clearly lying.

"Alex Cabot going to some dark alley in Chinatown to buy a purse? I don't think so," Olivia said smiling.

"Ok, fine," Alex said. She then tore off the wrapping paper and found a black box.

"Uh oh," John said. "Should I break out the champagne?"

"Shh," Karen said nudging him. "Don't make things awkward."

Alex appreciated Karen's words, for once. But she looked back nervously at Olivia. Surely Olivia wouldn't propose in front of everyone. Alex would hate that and Olivia knew it.

Olivia took the box from Alex, who was taking too long for the brunette.

"Relax," Olivia whispered to her. She then opened the box to display a beautiful set of earrings containing a sapphire that perfectly matched Olivia's favorite blue dress of Alex's.

"Liv…they're beautiful," Alex said. "Thank you."

Olivia just smiled and leaned forward to give her a chaste kiss on the lips.

Noah went straight back to opening his gifts once the commotion of the earrings was over.

"Mommmmm, clothes?" Noah said. "I have clothes."

"I know," Olivia said. "And you grow out of them faster than I can buy them."

When all the gifts were open, Noah's full attention was on his new dinosaur – complete with batteries that Alex and Olivia forgot until John reminded them and saved the day.

John and Karen went to the kitchen to put some breakfast together and give Olivia, Alex and Noah a moment of family time.

Noah fumbled around with the remote control for a moment, trying to figure it out before Olivia asked if she could help him – she couldn't. She couldn't get the darn thing to move either.

"Give it to Lex," Noah said. "Lex knows how to do it."

Olivia raised her eyebrows and handed the remote to Alex. "Lex. I guess you are the expert on this."

"We may have played with it in the store," Alex admitted. She took the remote then waited on Noah to come and stand in front of her. She put her arms around him and helped him hold the remote while teaching him which buttons to push to make it go forward, then back.

"Make it growl, Lex!" Noah said.

"Yeah, Lex, make it growl. I hear you're good at that," Olivia teased, raising one eyebrow and smirking.

Alex blushed, but didn't miss a beat. "You hear? More like you practically beg – like the other night."

It was Olivia's turn to blush now.

Alex found the button and made the dinosaur growl, much to Noah's delight. He was fortunately far too young to understand or care about any part of their banter.

Olivia sat on the couch watching Alex and Noah play with the dinosaur. Noah finally caught on enough to do it himself, then used it to chase Alex around the living room. Olivia couldn't believe how lucky she was, how much she wanted this family with Alex.

She had thought about talking to Alex about moving in together, taking the next step. But she was also hesitant for a couple of reasons. Her and Ed had also talked about it, and dated longer than her and Alex had so far. Of course, her and Alex have known each other much better and much longer, at least well. But still, things didn't work out with Ed when she thought they would, so it gave her pause about moving too fast.

Even still, she had planned to talk to Alex about it, maybe seeing if the ADA had thoughts on it, or even if she wanted to. She planned to do that right after Christmas, to at least have the conversation. But that was before she knew about Albany and Alex being gone for two months.

"I hear someone likes chocolate chip pancakes," John said, rejoining them from the kitchen.

"I do!" Noah said.

"Well, you're in luck," John said. "I have a whole griddle full of them with your name on them."

"Mommy? Can I have choco cakes?" Noah said. He knew Olivia's rules.

"Of course, Noah," Olivia said.

"Come on," John said. "You can show much how much whipped cream you like on them, too."

Noah's eyes lit up and he gave John a big smile before takings his hand and going to the kitchen.

Olivia sat there, looking at Alex as she kept playing with the dinosaur, trying to figure out all the other motions it would make. She looked over and saw Olivia staring.

"What?" Alex asked, stopping what she was doing.

Olivia smiled. "Do you have any idea how adorable you are?"

Alex got up and sat down next to Olivia on the couch. "Hm, I'm not sure. How about you tell me?"

"I love how much you love Noah. I love how much he loves you. I love how you just focus on him and give him all your attention at the drop of a hat when he asks. I love how he so very obviously melts the ice princess into a bucket of water," Olivia said. "And how you turn into a complete child…in a good way."

Alex pressed her lips against Olivia. She put her hands on Olivia's face and slid her tongue into Olivia's mouth. They didn't have much time, but she wanted to show Olivia how much she loved her, too.

"I love you, Alex. Merry Christmas," Olivia said.

"I love you, too, Liv," Alex said, pausing for a second. "Do you really think I act like a child?"

"Well, only with Noah," Olivia said. Then she leaned forward. "For me, you act _very_ adult-like."

"Maybe after Noah wears himself out…we can sneak off to that beach parking spot again and you can hear again just how good I am at making things growl," Alex said, before winking and getting up, and strutting away from Olivia.

#

"I can't believe we're doing this again," Olivia said as Alex put the car in park at the beach.

"Well, we can leave if you want and do this at my dad's house," Alex said.

Olivia rolled her eyes. She reached down and laid her seat back. "Come here."

"Oh, front seat this time?" Alex said and began to crawl over on top of Olivia.

"You do remember our son has to sit in the back seat tomorrow on the drive home, don't you?" Olivia said. She didn't even realize she said "our" instead of "my" in reference to Noah.

Alex did and inhaled sharply, stopping in her tracks.

"What?" Olivia said.

"Nothing," Alex said. Olivia clearly didn't mean it. She finished moving on top of Olivia.

"No, what is it?" Olivia said. She put her hand up and pushed Alex's hair back from her face, looking her in the eyes to try to figure out what was wrong.

"You said our," Alex said. "You said 'our son.'"

"Oh," Olivia said. "I…um…I'm sorry?"

"No, it's ok," Alex said. "I know it was a slip of the tongue."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Olivia said. "I mean, I know we've told Noah before how you're kind of like his mom, but…"

"No, not at all," Alex said. "I love Noah."

"I know you do," Olivia said. "You know that I hope…someday…well, I hope that's where we're headed. You know, Noah being 'our' son."

"I hope so, too, Liv," Alex said. "And I know this is still…well, it's not new, but it's only been 7 months. But, yes…I hope that is our future, too."

Olivia smiled and put her hand behind Alex's head, pulling the blonde to her and kissing her deeply and slowly. This time in the car was less like teenagers and more like two adults making love, two adults in love.

Olivia tugged at the bottom of Alex's sweater, helping her pulling it over her head, revealing a braless Alex. The blonde smirked, having make a point to change right before they left. Then Alex reached down and helped Olivia pulled her shirt off, then slipped her bra off.

Alex moved her lips down Olivia's neck, tugging at her ear, knowing it drove her crazy.

"Ah…Alex," Olivia said, moving one hand to Alex breast, another to Alex's ass.

She finally managed to position herself where she could take Alex's nipple in her mouth. As she swirled her tongue, she felt Alex unbutton her pants and slip her hand inside, teasing the outside of her panties.

Olivia growled.

"That was quick," Alex whispered, giggling at her girlfriend.

Olivia's head went back as Alex slipped her fingers inside the brunette.

"You're already so wet, Liv. Geez," Alex said.

"Can you blame me?" Olivia breathed. "You've been teasing me all day."

"So…" Alex pushed deep inside Olivia, then slid her fingers almost out. "What you're saying…" Thrust. "Is..." Thrust. "I should just…" Faster, harder thrust. "Give you what…" Thrust. "You…" Thrust. "Want…?"

Olivia swallowed hard, unable to speak, only nodded. Alex grinned and pulled her fingers out of Olivia suddenly, causing a whimper from Olivia.

Alex maintained contact and slid her fingers right up to Olivia's clit.

"Fuck, Alex," Olivia growled…again.

Using the tip of her middle finger, Alex began working small, slow circles on Olivia, watching as goosebumps formed, then latched her mouth on the nape of Olivia's neck.

"Baby…"

Alex took that as encouragement and continued what she was doing, only faster, feeling Olivia being to squirm and sweat beneath her.

"Yes…oh, Jesus, yes….Alex….Alex…Alex…"

Alex sank her teeth into the side of Olivia's neck, not meaning to, but the moment took over her, especially when Olivia's hand gripped her ass hard, the other hand's fingers digging into Alex's back.

"Ahhhhh. Fuuuuuck!"

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex as the waves slowed through her body. Alex kissed her on the cheek and snuggled up against her. The two of them laid there in silence for a bit, letting their heart rates slow.

"Now I'm going to really owe you," Olivia teased.

"Oh yea?" Alex said.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Shit!" Alex said. A sheriff's deputy was knocking on their driver's side window, unable to really see in because of the fog.

Alex quickly covered herself with her sweater and Olivia did the same and they sat up, Alex in Olivia's lap mostly. Alex reached over to turn the key so she could roll down the window.

"Yes, sir?" Alex said.

"You know it's past hours to be out here," the deputy said. "Wait, Alex Cabot, is that you?"

Olivia's eyes were wide. Not only did they get caught having sex in public, but the deputy out there knew who Alex was.

"George?" Alex said. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize there were hours out here now."

"I...um…well, I guess we didn't have hours out here when we were in high school," he said, looking down

"Look, we'll leave right now," Alex said. "My dad has a new girlfriend and me and Olivia here just needed to get out of the house."

"Uh, yeah, I heard that about John," George said, still looking down. "Yeah, just um, this area closes to guest at 8 p.m."

"Thank you, George," Alex said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, ladies," he said. He turned to leave and Alex rolled the windows up. They both put their shirts back on and Alex climbed back to the driver's seat.

"So, you came out here in high school?" Olivia smiled. "Did you come out here with George?"

"No, but one of his friends," Alex smirked. "And well, not this spot specifically. I wouldn't bring you someplace I'd been before. Anyway, we didn't have a house out here then, but always spent summers out here in some condo my parents had. So…yeah. I told you, I knew people."

"Apparently," Olivia said. "Ok, new rule."

Alex looked at her curiously.

"No more sex in public," Olivia said. "Even out here. Neither of us need that getting out."

"Deal."

"I still owe you," Olivia said.

"It's ok," Alex said. "I'll take a raincheck."

"Well, if you can promise to be extra quiet, we'll see how good I am tonight at making things growl."

* * *

 _A/N: I'll see you all in a bit over a week (a week from Saturday). Maybe with a quick chapter before, but if not...don't fret, I'll be back. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it all._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	21. Leaving

_A/N: June 25, 2017 - I'm back after a wonderful vacation. I'm off to work today, but here's a quick chapter to tide you over. After this one, we'll get into Alex's time away._

 _Thanks for the reviews and reading and patience while I was gone._

* * *

 **LEAVING**

"All done, Mom," Noah said, handing a homemade card to Olivia.

"That's great, Noah," Olivia said. "Lex is going to love it."

Noah smiled and put his crayons down, looking pleased with the big, but awkwardly shaped, heart he drew under the words Olivia wrote for him, "We'll miss you, Lex!"

Alex was leaving the next day for two months in Albany. They had explained this to Noah, but still wasn't sure he understood why Alex was leaving. He had grown to seeing Alex several days out of the week; Olivia had, too.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Noah grabbed his card and ran, knowing it was likely Alex. Olivia followed to check and make sure, then unlocked the door to allow Noah to open it and let the blonde in.

"Aren't you a handsome doorman?" Alex said when she saw Noah standing there. Olivia leaned against the wall to the side and grinned.

"I made for you, Lex," Noah said, handing the card to Alex.

She stepped inside and shut the door behind her, sitting down her overnight bag so she could hold the card with two hands and get a better look.

Alex smiled when she read it, holding back tears at home much she was going to miss the two of them.

"It's very good, Noah," Alex said. "Thank you. Did you draw the heart?"

Noah nodded yes. "Mommy wrote the letters."

"Oh, I would have never known the difference," Alex teased. She bent down and gave Noah a hug. "I'm going to miss you, too, buddy. But it'll just be a short while and I'll visit."

"Ok," Noah said, then turned this attention to Olivia. "Can I watch a movie?"

"Yes," she answered. "You can finish the one you started earlier while I get dinner ready for us, ok?"

Noah nodded and ran off to the living room. Alex walked over to where Olivia was leaning against the wall.

"He's so adorable; I don't know how I'm going to leave him for two months," Alex said, putting her arms on Olivia's shoulder.

"And his mom?" Olivia said, sliding her hands around Alex's waist to pull their bodies against each other.

"Oh," Alex said, putting her lips on Olivia's neck and slowly kissing her collar bone. "I'm going to miss her the most." Alex looked into Olivia's dark brown eyes before pressing their lips together.

Knowing Noah was close by, they keep the kissing brief, but still filled with the lust of two people who were barely going to see each other for the next two months.

Olivia moved into the kitchen and Alex took a seat at the breakfast bar, watching as Olivia began to slice tomatoes for the burgers she was making for dinner. Alex's eyes followed her around the compact kitchen, smiling each time their eyes met.

"Before I forget," Alex said, reaching into her purse. "Here's the key to my apartment so you can check in on it and water the plants like you agreed to do."

"I'm pretty sure I didn't agree to that when you asked," Olivia laughed. "I mean, I'll water them, but no promises on whether they'll be alive come March."

"It's ok, there's no guaranteed I'd be able to keep them alive until then even if I was there," Alex said. She took the key ring and walked over to the key holder by the door where Olivia kept her keys.

Olivia followed behind her. "That reminds me," she said. The brunette reach up for a single key on a key ring that depicted a map of Central Park. "Here. It's um…uh…key to my apartment."

"Liv, I don't think I'm going to be coming from Albany just to water your plants," Alex joked.

"No, I…well…I thought when you do come to visit, if I'm not here, you could still come over," Olivia said. "I mean, in general, it's probably a good idea. There's no reason for us to keep passing keys back and forth when we need in the other's apartment."

"Oh," Alex said, realizing Olivia was giving her a key to her apartment. "That…make sense."

"That doesn't mean you have to give your key to me, or well, let me keep it when you return," Olivia said. "We spend more time here anyway."

"Liv," Alex said, taking her hand. She gave her a quick kiss. "It's ok. And I agree. I think it's time we…took that next step of at least having keys to the other's apartment."

Alex did agree. It was a simple thing really, exchanging keys and something they probably should have done sooner. But it was still a symbol that they were moving forward. Of course, Alex had hoped before her trip they could broach the topic of moving in together when she returned. A key was a little bit of a letdown comparatively, but still going in the right direction. Besides, with Noah, Alex thought it best to leave that decision of timing up to Olivia.

Over dinner, the two women talked about Alex's trip and schedule, and when she expected to be back in the city to visit.

"I don't have a full detailed itinerary yet, but I know the first week there is a social function thing Friday afternoon and evening, then some organized 'get to know you' fun on Saturday," Alex said. She had already shared this with Olivia, but wanted to remind her she wouldn't be home the first weekend of training. "I guess being Week 1, they want the leadership class to get to know each other a little better."

"That makes sense," Olivia said. "But we'll see you the following weekend?"

"Yes," Alex said. "I'll be home either late Thursday or Friday mid-morning. I mean, I know you'll be working, but at the very least, I should be here when you get home from work. And now that I have your key, I can literally be waiting at home here for you."

"That sounds nice," Olivia said, then turned to Noah. "So, Noah, we won't get to see Alex for two weeks. Is that ok?"

Noah nodded. "You go work?" he asked.

Alex smiled. "Yes, I have to go away for work."

"Mommy goes for work, too. Sometimes she's not here when I wake up," he said.

"That's right," Olivia said. "And Lucy stays with you. But this time, Alex will be gone a little longer than when Mommy has to work at night."

Noah looked a little worried and studied Alex for a minute. "Is Lex gonna be gone like Tuck?"

Olivia's heart sank. So did Alex's. It was what Olivia feared most about relationships and about Alex leaving. She and Ed had been so careful with Noah, just like her and Alex, but even still, when they broke up, it affected him more than Olivia would have imagined. Her fears of him equating Alex leaving to Ed leaving were coming true.

"Oh, no, Noah," Olivia said. "Alex is just gonna be gone for a little while. She'll be back, I promise. Right, Alex?"

"That's right," Alex said, wiping a tear that had seeped out away from her eye. "And I'll call and we can FaceTime. You'll barely know I'm gone."

"Ok," Noah said, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

#

After the night of the three of the cuddling on the couch, Olivia and Alex put Noah to bed and then made their way to the bedroom. It had been a mellow night for them, both dreading the following day and the weeks to come.

"I'm sorry," Alex said when they were both in bed and facing each other.

"For what?"

"For leaving," Alex said. "I shouldn't have done this."

"Of course, you should have," Olivia said. "You have to do it."

"But Noah's so confused," Alex said. "He thinks it's going to be like Tucker."

"Sweetheart, Noah is four. He'll be ok," Olivia said.

"But you know I'm not leaving, right?" Alex said. "I mean, like Tucker."

"Yes, and Ed didn't exactly leave me," Olivia said. "That was my decision, or our decision, I guess. Look, you're not Ed. I know that."

The words were simple to say, but the truth was Olivia had to keep reminding herself over and over. It was true. Alex wasn't Ed. Olivia's feelings for Alex had been around longer and were stronger, as much as she had loved Ed.

But still, there was this lingering doubt in the back of her head. If she couldn't make it work with Ed, as easy going as he was with her and Noah, why did she think it would be different with Alex? Perhaps she wasn't cut out for having a partner.

Then, there was the fact that it seemed Alex was always leaving her. Granted, this time was much shorter than other things in the past, but for Alex, work would always be her top priority. As much as she loved the blonde, and knew Alex loved her and Noah, was Alex really cut out for motherhood? Olivia knew Alex would make a great mom, but was it really what she wanted out of life? Would it be enough for her if she had ever had to choose between work and family?

Olivia knew she was crazy to question Alex on it, it's why she didn't. She knew Alex would tell her that Olivia and Noah were her top priority. Olivia even believed that Alex believed it. And Olivia of course wanted Alex to achieve her goals, be it the DA's seat or something even bigger. She knew she needed this leadership program; she had just been taken aback when Alex sprung it on her.

Of course, maybe all those doubts were just excuses for the fact that Olivia was afraid that she was the one that wasn't cut out for relationships. Even after all these years of counseling, she felt like maybe she didn't deserve what everyone else had. It was those fears after all that sank her ship with Ed. She was going to fight like hell against them with Alex.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Alex said, kissing Olivia, who was still lost in thought.

"I'm going to miss you, too," Olivia said. "More than you'll know."

"Well, we only have one night left," Alex said. "Why don't you show much how much you'll miss me?"

With that, Olivia leaned forward and rolled Alex back. She slid her hand down Alex's side, then back up her stomach, caressing her breasts under the blonde's shirt. Her lips trailed down Alex's neck, pausing behind the ear.

"I love you so fucking much," Olivia whispered before letting her tongue drape across Alex's earlobes, knowing it drove her crazy.

Alex let out a low moan, then sat up for Olivia to pull her shirt off. Olivia laid Alex back down and let her hand slip between the blonde's leg, caressing the outside of her panties before sliding them down. Alex arched her back up, aching for more contact. Olivia took the hint and slid a finger, then two inside Alex, feeling the blonde clench around her and let out a whimper as Olivia pushed deeper inside, making love to the blonde slowly with her hands and mouth for the next hour until both collapsed in each other's arms. Exhausted and in love.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: _Sorry for the delay everyone. Strep throat hit after vacation and then I was away this past weekend, too. This chapter is kinda short, but I need to get back into my routine, so here you go!_

 _Missed you all._

* * *

 **22\. Tired**

Two weeks.

It had been two long weeks since Olivia and Alex had seen each other. They talked frequently and FaceTimed a few times, but it felt like it hadn't been nearly enough – or at least not as much time as they had hoped.

But it was Friday night and Alex was finally back in the city, eager to see her girlfriend and Noah. Olivia had promised to pick up dinner for the Friday and they'd spend time with Noah, then they'd go out Saturday night for a date to have alone time.

Alex went to her own apartment first to pick up a few things and drop off some laundry. As she was looking through some paperwork, she got a text from Olivia.

 _I'm so sorry, but we caught a case this evening. It's a bad one. Lucy is with Noah. You're welcome to go over there or relax without Noah and I'll text you when I come home. Again, I'm so sorry. Love you._

Alex hung her head and sighed. She knew Olivia didn't have a choice, but she was disappointed.

 _I understand. I'll be at your place whenever you come home. Can't wait to see you. Love you._

The ADA was tired, but she also had missed Noah dearly. She quickly finished up what she needed to do, called in to order dinner for her and so Olivia could eat when she got home, then headed out, picking up dinner on her way to Olivia's apartment.

When she reached the door, she started to knock, knowing Lucy was there, but then she remembered she had a key now and hadn't used it yet. She pulled it out and unlocked the door, knocking as she opened the door, so as to not startle Lucy.

"Alex, you're home. Welcome back," Lucy said.

"Lex!" Noah yelled when he saw her, running to her to give her a hug.

A large grin filled Alex's face, seeing how excited Noah was to see her.

"You didn't have to rush over here," Lucy said. "I know you're tired. I'm free to stay as long as you want."

"No, I wanted to," Alex said. "I missed this little guy quite a bit. I'm happy to stay with him until Olivia gets home."

"She was disappointed she missed you this evening," Lucy said, giving Alex a small smile. "Anyway, if you're sure, then I'll get my stuff and take off. You and Noah can catch up. He's had dinner, but not a bath yet."

"I'll take care of it," Alex said. "Thank you, Lucy."

Lucy left shortly after and Alex ate her dinner while Noah sat next to her telling her all about his two weeks at school and his visit to a nearby fire station.

"Really?" Alex asked. "Did you have fun at the fire station?"

Noah kept talking a mile a minute. "We got to honk the horn, too," Noah said.

"You got to get up in the truck?" Alex asked.

"Yes, but they no let us slide down pole," Noah said.

Alex laughed and Noah moved on to telling a story about his teacher telling them about how some places don't get snow and that he wanted to live at the beach. "I don't like snow," he said.

Over the next hour, Alex had dinner, a glass of wine and talked to Noah about school, Olivia and Alex's training. Then she got him into the bath and put on a cartoon after while he settled down for the evening.

Eventually, she put Noah to bed, then decided to read in bed while waiting on Olivia to get home. She knew better than to call or text, because she knew SVU was out at a crime scene. She tried her bed, but fell asleep just after midnight, having had a long day and two weeks. She didn't sleep well while she was gone. She missed Olivia. She missed Noah. She missed work. She was exhausted from the early mornings and late nights having to "network."

About 1:30 a.m., Olivia finally made it home, tired, but happy to see her girlfriend, even if she was slumped over a book in the bed sleeping. She had managed to quietly make it all the way in the apartment and into the bedroom before Alex began to rouse.

"Hey," Alex said sleepily.

"Hey, baby," Olivia said. "I'm so glad to see you."

"You, too," Alex said, eyes heavy. "Tell me all about your night."

"You sure? You look tired. I'm pretty beat, too," Olivia said.

"Yeah," Alex said. "I miss your voice. And your lips."

Olivia smiled and walked over to Alex's side of the bed. She leaned down and gave Alex a gentle, but loving kiss. She had forgotten how soft the blonde's lips were.

"Ok," Olivia said. "I'm going to get a glass of water and get some crackers or something. Be right back."

Alex nodded and rolled over on her side facing the middle part of the bed, waiting for Olivia to return.

Olivia headed to the kitchen for some water. She made a couple peanut butter crackers to tame her growling stomach. She was hungry and hadn't had dinner, but she decided she'd rather than time with Alex and sleep than food; breakfast was just a few short hours away.

She returned to the bedroom, looking forward to some intimate time with Alex, even if she knew it would be short since they were both so tired. But when she got back in there, she saw Alex sound asleep, snoring. Olivia sighed. Disappointed, but not upset. She knew how tired Alex was. She was tired herself.

There was always morning.


	23. Climbing

_A/N: Back. Working my way back into this story. I'm sorry for the delay. Just "stuff" going on. But all is good and I'm feeling better, but it may take me a few days to get back into my routine. I'm trying. If you have ideas on this, please let me know. I'd love to hear them because I'm struggling a bit._

* * *

 **CLIMBING**

"Mmm, Liv…so good."

"I've been thinking about this all day, babe," Liv moaned.

"Babe, I'm so close…come with me," Alex breathed.

Olivia repositioned herself. She was close and ready, too, and let out a moan as her need grew.

"Ah…ah…ah…Liv…fuck!"

"Alexxxxxx!"

Waves of energy ripped through both women's bodies as they laid back and let their orgasms take over. After a moment moments, it was just heavy breathing and then silence.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Alex said, rolling over on her side and changing the phone to a different ear.

"I can't believe you've never had phone sex," Olivia said.

"And I can't believe you have," Alex said. "And I don't even want to know who with."

"Should have been you during witness protection," Olivia teased. _If only_ , they both thought.

Alex sighed. "So, I'll see you this weekend?"

"Yes," Olivia said. "Just come over when you're back. I'll do my best to get home as soon as possible, but you know…"

"Yeah, I know… Rapists don't take days off," Alex said.

"It'll be fine," Olivia said. "I love you."

"I love you," Alex said.

#

Olivia laid in bed a little longer then got up to clean up and check in on Noah, who was sleeping. She smiled thinking about how shocked Alex had been when she first suggested phone sex during her time away.

Sure, it was a little awkward, but at least they got to do it together, and it sure made them a lot more verbal about what they wanted from the other. Olivia could still see Alex's face turning red with embarrassment. It surprised her because there wasn't much that embarrassed Alex, particularly in their line of work.

They had done it a couple of times now, and Alex was getting more comfortable. Perhaps they would even work up to FaceTime soon. Olivia smirked imagining Alex's reaction to that, but she also knew neither of them would be willing to text things too explicit or send photos…not with the things Olivia saw every day and the potential of their phones getting hacked.

#

Friday afternoon Alex made it back to the city and made her way straight to Olivia's apartment, even if she knew Olivia wouldn't be home yet. Noah and Lucy were though.

"Liv said you're heading out of town this weekend," Alex said. "I'm happy to watch Noah if you want to take off early."

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked. "Olivia just called and is stuck out in Queens, I'm not sure what for, but they had some trouble with one of the squad cars. She'll probably be late."

"No problem at all," Alex said. "I could use some time with Noah. It's been harder than I thought being away."

"I get it," Lucy said. "I have the same problem and he's not even my child. I mean, I know he's not technically yours, but…someday, right?"

Alex smiled. "Hopefully, yes."

Lucy got her things together and Alex changed clothes before starting a game with Noah. While they were playing, Alex's phone kept buzzing with text messages and phone calls from her office. They knew she got back in town on Fridays and saved all their questions for then.

"Let's put a movie on, Noah," Alex said. "Stay right here while I got get my computer."

Noah nodded and Alex went to the bedroom to quickly get her laptop. She retrieved it and on her way back into the living room, she was looking down at her phone, replying to text messages.

"Ok, are you ready for the movie?" Alex asked, then looked up to see Noah gone from the living room. "Noah?" she called out.

"I get us cookies," Noah said from the kitchen. Alex looked up and saw Noah standing on the counter top, reaching up on top of the fridge.

"Noah, no," Alex said. "No cookies. You shouldn't be up there. Stay there." She started toward the kitchen to get him down, but Noah ignored her command for no cookies and continued reaching.

About the time Alex reach the kitchen entrance, Noah slipped and fell, hitting his head on the counter on the way down.

"Noah!" Alex ran, but missed catching him. She cradled his head, seeing it was split and bleeding a little.

Guilt ran through Alex, feeling like it was her fault for leaving the room and being on her phone. She grabbed her phone to call Olivia, but it just rang and rang. Olivia had terrible service in Queens.

Alex picked up Noah and took him to car to take him to the emergency room, continuing to try and call Olivia. When she couldn't reach her, she called the office and got Fin.

Fin told her the same thing. Liv's cell service sucked in Queens, but he'd try to get ahold of Carisi.

Alex took deep breaths as she pulled up the ER, then carrying Noah inside, who was now crying. A nurse took him in to stop the bleeding while Alex filled out paperwork. Fortunately, she knew most of his information.

"Are you his mother?" the nurse asked. "The doctor can stitch him up, but we need your signature."

"I'm not," Alex said. "I'm…well, I'm dating his mother."

"Ok, well, let me check his file," the nurse said. "It looks like he's been here. If you're on his emergency contact list, it should be fine. The doctor will also want a scan of his head."

Alex nodded while the nurse left her and Noah sitting on a bed, Alex putting pressure on Noah's cut.

"I don't seem to have you down as an emergency contact," the nurse said when coming back. "Can you get ahold of Ms. Benson?"

"I've been trying. She's an SVU detective and well, I just haven't been able to reach her," Alex said. "But you have to treat him."

"He's not in any danger right now, and we will," the nurse said, trying to calm Alex down. "But, I do have to have permission of an emergency contact to stitch him up and run the tests we need."

"Ok, well, I don't know who that is," Alex snapped. "Lucy maybe? But she's out of town. She's his babysitter."

"Yes, we have a Lucy listed after an Ed Tucker," she said. "Do you know him?"

Alex took a deep breath. Of course, she thought.

"I…uh, yes, I know him," she said.

"Ok, we'll call him," the nurse said. "He can give us a verbal."

"Fine," Alex said.

A few minutes later, the nurse came to get Noah. "We'll get him fixed up and run some tests on him," she said. "Mr. Tucker said he'd be here soon."

Alex rolled her eyes. She still couldn't reach Olivia. She found a seat in the waiting room since she wasn't allowed to go back with Noah.

A few minutes later, Ed showed up. Alex turned her head when she heard his gruff voice. "I'm looking for Noah Benson," he asked hurriedly.

The receptionist pointed to Alex and asked him to have a seat after giving him some information.

"Where's Liv?" he asked when he walked over to Alex.

"I don't know," Alex said. "Stuck in Queens I think. She's not answering her phone."

"Her cell phone doesn't work in Queens," he said. "I tried to get her to switch providers forever."

Alex shrugged.

"What the hell happened?" he asked.

"He climbed on the counter in the kitchen," Alex said.

"What? Why'd you let him do that?" he said.

"Excuse me? I didn't let him," Alex said.

"Well, why weren't you watching him?" he said.

"I was watching him! I looked at my phone for a minute," she said, voice rising.

"That's all it takes," he snapped back.

"It was an accident," she said, "And I already feel horrible enough. So save the 'I'd have been a better parent' speech for later."

Ed was speechless at Alex biting back. He realized he had been out of line blaming her.

"I'm…I'm sorry, I'm just…stressed," he said. "It could have happened to anyone."

"Even you?" Alex said, skeptically.

"Even me," he said. "Look, I just worry about him when he's hurt, you know."

Alex let out a breath and calmed down. "No, I get it," she said. "And I should have been paying more attention."

Ed shook his head. "No, really, you can't blame yourself," he said. "I was out of line."

"Family of Noah Benson?" a woman's voice in a doctor's jacket said, walking into the waiting room.

"That's us," Ed said.

"Noah's going to be fine," she said. "But, we'd like to monitor him for a bit. We just need your permission."

Alex looked to Ed, knowing he'd have to give permission, not her.

"Alex?" Ed looked to her.

"Oh, um, yeah of course," Alex said, taken aback by him giving control to her.

"Ok, I can bring you all back to see him if you want," the doctor said.

They nodded and followed her back to where Noah was. He was excited to see them both, even if he was a little out of it.

"I have stitches, Lex," he said, seeing Alex.

"I know," she said. "You have another visitor, too."

"Hi, Tuck," Noah said when Ed poked his head in.

"Hey, buddy, you gave us quite the scare," Ed said.

"Doctor said I might have a scar," Noah said. "But my hair will cover it."

Ed and Alex laughed.

"Noah, I'm going to take off, but you'll be just fine here with Alex," he said.

"You're leaving?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, but you are going to be well taken care of by 'Lex' here," he said.

Alex smiled, knowing he was trying to step aside and let her "parent."

Alex walked him out of the room, thanking him for coming and giving permission for treatment.

"Of course," he said. "And I'll remind Olivia to update those forms. I know she was working on it around Christmas. Or mentioned it to me."

"Oh," Alex said. She wondered why Olivia hadn't yet.

"Look, Alex, I'm not a threat to you, I promise," Ed said. "I have someone who I care about a lot. I love Noah and I'll always care about him and Olivia. But she's with you and the two of you belong together. Just don't take all this for granted."

"Never," Alex said. "And…thank you."

On his way out, Ed ran into Olivia, who was rushing inside.

"Ed!" she said. "What are you here for?"

"Noah," he said. "You never changed your emergency contact forms and Lucy is out of town."

"Oh, right," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry," he said. "You know I'll always be here for Noah. But Alex is with him now and taking good care of him."

"Thank you," she said. "Stupid Queens."

Ed laughed. "Hey, make sure you update those forms. Not because I care to be here, but because Alex is going to make a great mother to Noah someday."

Olivia looked down, awkwardly and nodded. She believed the same thing, but it was a weird conversation to have with her ex.

She made her way inside, stopped to talk to the doctor, then found Noah falling asleep, and Alex sitting by him, rubbing his hand with a worried look still on her face.

"Hi," Olivia said, trying not to startle Alex. "Thank you for being here."

"Well, Ed helped," Alex said.

"Maybe, but he said you were great with Noah," Olivia said, taking a seat next to Alex, and taking her hand. "I'm sorry about the paperwork. I should have already done it."

"It's…ok," Alex said. "It all worked out."

"I know, but you have more of a place in Noah's life than Ed does now," Olivia said. "So, we should make that more formal."

Alex nodded, then tears began to form. "I wasn't paying attention, Liv," she said. "I was distracted by my phone and went to the bedroom for my laptop."

"Babe, no," Olivia said. "Accidents happen. There is no way we can watch him 100% of the time. You think I don't get distracted at times? I can't tell you how many accidents he's had when I blamed myself for not paying more attention."

"I know, but…"

"No buts," Olivia said. "Sure, we could both probably detach from our phones a little, but kids have accidents and Noah likes to climb."

"He was going for the cookies," Alex said.

"I figured," Olivia said. "I need to just move those things. It's not the first time he's done that. He's testing you."

"It could have been worse, though, Liv," Alex said.

"It can always be worse," Liv said. "We take precautions, but we can't live in a bubble and we can't expect Noah to, either. Yes, it could have been worse, but it wasn't. We'll move the cookies. We'll talk to Noah about climbing."

Alex let out a sigh of relief. She couldn't believe Olivia wasn't at least a little mad at her.

"I love you and Noah loves you," Olivia said. "When he's cleared to go, we'll go home, take care of Noah and have a relaxing weekend."

"You need a new cell phone or provider," Alex said.

Olivia laughed. "I know," she said. "I'll take care of it Monday."

Alex put her head on Olivia's shoulder.

"We'll probably have to keep Noah awake tonight, the nurse said," Olivia said. "To make sure he isn't concussed. Which means, we'll have to find something to do to entertain ourselves." She grinned at Alex and smirked.

"I love you, Liv," Alex said. "And Noah. I hope you know that."

"I know," she said. "And we love you, too."


	24. Sick

_A/N: Still finding my routine and time again. The news business has been a little busy lately. Setting up a few things here. I appreciate all the comments and that you all enjoy this story. I can't promise daily updates right now, but I'll get you another by Tuesday night at least._

* * *

 **SICK**

Alex was sick. She had managed to make it through her week of training, but the drive home was not going to happen. By Friday night, she could barely get off the couch and was disappointed to tell Olivia earlier in the day she would not be making it home for the weekend.

Friday evening Olivia called Alex as promised. Alex was happy to hear her voice, even if she didn't get to see her.

"How are you feeling?" Olivia asked.

"A little better," Alex said. "I think I just need rest. I've had a lot of late nights this week. I'll order some soup or something in a little while."

"No one is there to help take care of you?" Olivia asked. "No one from your program?"

"Liv, I'll be fine," Alex said. "They're all either home or going out tonight, I'm sure."

"Well, if I was there, I'd take care of you," Olivia said.

"I know, baby. But don't worry. It's just a head cold," Alex said. "Are you still driving? Did you have to work late again?"

"Just had to run some errands," Olivia said. "In just a few short minutes, I'll be able to get out of this car and relax."

"Ok, well, I'm going to get some more medicine in me and try to find some take-out menus," Alex said. "Call me when you're home?"

"Ok," Olivia said. "I'm actually pulling up now. Stay on the line with me for a few minutes until I get inside?"

"Sure," Alex said, shrugging off the odd request. It was dark though, maybe Olivia was concerned about safety for some reason.

A few moments later, Alex heard a knock on the door.

"Hang on for a second, babe. Someone is here," Alex said.

"Did you order food already?" Olivia asked.

"No," Alex said.

"Well, maybe one of your friends from the program is checking in on you," Olivia said.

"I doubt it," Alex said. She pulled herself up off the couch, checked to make sure she was decent enough and dragged her feet to the door. She did not want company, not feeling like this.

When she opened the door, she saw Olivia standing there, brown paper sack and flowers in hand.

"Liv?" Alex asked, half confused, half excited. "What…what are you doing here?"

Olivia smiled and walked past Alex to come in, kissing the blonde on the check as she slid by her.

"You were sick and I didn't want you to have to be alone," Olivia said.

"When…How…when did you leave?" Alex said.

"Pretty much right after you called today," Olivia said.

"Where's Noah?" Alex said, looking behind Olivia.

"I would have liked to brought him, and maybe I still can before you're done, but I figured with you being sick, it wasn't the best time," Olivia explained. "He's splitting time this weekend with Lucy and Amanda. They were both more than happy to help – in fact, it was Amanda's idea when she heard you were sick."

Alex smiled softly and pulled Olivia in for a hug. "Thank you. And thank Amanda and Lucy. Maybe we should take Jesse for her some weekend," Alex said.

"I'd like that," Olivia said. "And it would probably be good for her, too. Now, I want you back on the couch and I'll get you some dinner ready."

Alex did as she was told as Olivia looked in the tiny kitchenette in the hotel suite for a bowl. The soup was still warm, as Olivia found a nearby place to pick up the soup for the two of them.

She rejoined Alex on the couch, sitting her soup in front of her with some water. "I brought some different cold medicine, too," Olivia said. "I know how stubborn you are about taking medicine and figured you didn't have any."

"I actually did get some," Alex said, rolling her eyes, and nudging Olivia lightly.

Once they finished up their soup, Olivia took their bowls to clean them up and Alex laid back down on the couch. As Liv washed out the bowls, she heard a knock on the door.

"Expecting anyone?" Olivia asked.

Alex shook her head and Olivia went to look through the peephole.

"Looks like lawyers to me," Olivia said, chuckling.

"How…just open the door," Alex said, shaking her head as Olivia open the door to two women.

"Oh, hi," one of the ladies said. "We just stopped by to check on Alexandra. We're from the leadership program."

Olivia smiled at the name _Alexandra_. "Come in. _Alexandra_ is just in the living area," Olivia said, moving out of the way to let the two women inside. She saw Alex give her a look when she used her full name, then sat up to greet her guests.

"Liv, this is Kaitlyn and Ellie," Alex said. "This is Olivia Benson." She nodded toward Olivia as everyone gathered in the living area. Kaitlyn and Ellie took a seat on the couch and Olivia sat across from them in a chair.

"How are you feeling?" Ellie asked.

"A bit better now that I've had some food and medicine," Alex said. "This is the longest I've been upright. I spent most of the day horizontal."

"Ha! Just like college, huh?" Kaitlyn joked.

Ellie laughed and Alex awkwardly laughed. Olivia just smiled and gave Alex a weird look. Alex hadn't really talked about many people from the program, so Olivia was surprised at how comfortable they seemed to make jokes like that around Alex.

After checking in on Alex, the attention turned to Olivia.

"So, Olivia, what do you do in Manhattan?" Kaitlyn said. "Alexandra hasn't old us much about you except that she has this mysterious girlfriend."

"I'm a detective in the special victims' unit at NYPD," Olivia said.

"A Lieutenant, Liv," Alex corrected in a proud tone.

"Oh, so you found you a cop, huh?" Ellie said. "And you didn't tell us how beautiful your girlfriend was."

Alex shrugged. "I like to keep some of my life private," Alex said.

"You also didn't tell us you're a badge bunny," Kaitlyn said. "I took you more for dating another attorney." Kaitlyn smirked at Alex and Olivia noticed. She didn't like it – the comment about Alex being a badge bunny, Alex dating lawyers, or the look she gave her girlfriend.

"I wouldn't call Alex a badge bunny," Olivia said. "In fact, I think she'd prefer I not be a police officer."

"That's not true," Alex said, smiling. "But I am NOT a badge bunny. I'll have you all know, Olivia is the only cop I've ever dated."

"And lawyers?" Kaitlyn asked.

"Anyway," Alex said.

"We should give Alexandra a break, Kaitlyn," Ellie said. "She is sick, after all."

"Fine," Kaitlyn said. "So, how long have the two of you been together?"

"Since last year, early summer I guess," Alex said.

"You said you work SVU?" Kaitlyn asked. "Alexandra, didn't you also work SVU?"

"I did," Alex said. "That's actually where I met Olivia, many years ago."

"And you all just started dating last year?" Kaitlyn asked.

"Yeah," Alex replied.

"Well," Olivia said. "I mean, it wasn't like there wasn't something there before. It just…took us a while to get here."

"Well, and there was that whole me dying thing," Alex joked.

"I can see how that happens, but it would be challenging for me," Ellie said, as much as I go rounds with some of my detectives.

"Oh, we went rounds," Alex said. "And round. And round. And round."

Olivia laughed. "Definitely a lot of times I wanted to either yell at her or kiss her. I usually opted for the yelling," Olivia said.

"Usually?" Kaitlyn said.

"Well, I guess, always," Olivia said. "That, or just walking away."

"We should probably let Alex get some rest," Ellie said. "I'm sure her and Olivia want to get caught up, too."

"Well, I hope you feel better soon, Alexandra," Kaitlyn said. "Are we still on for next week?"

"Yeah, I expect I'll be feeling back to normal Monday," Alex said.

"Good. Looking forward to it," Kaitlyn said. "I'll make a reservation at Saphora's."

Olivia walked Ellie and Kaitlyn out after Alex said goodbye.

"I think I'm about ready for bed," Alex said when Olivia returned. "Do you feel like calling it an early night?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Olivia said. "Um, hey, so what are you and Kaitlyn doing next week?"

"Oh, she is about to launch a campaign next year for district attorney in her district," Alex said. "She wanted my advice on a few things."

"Oh," Olivia said. "So, like a group of you all are helping?"

"Well, no," Alex said. "It's just me and her. She thought I may have some good insight and asked for my help."

"I see," Olivia said. "Do they always call you Alexandra?"

"Yeah, I guess everyone does," Alex said. "I mean, it was what was on my name tag the first day and I just never corrected anyone. I mean, it sounds more professional I guess."

"Yeah, I guess so," Olivia said. "Ok, well, I'm ready for bed whenever you are."

"Is everything ok, Liv?" Alex said.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Olivia said.

"You tell me," Alex said. "You've been acting weird since Ellie and Kaitlyn got here."

"I just…wasn't expecting people," Olivia said.

"And I wasn't expecting you," Alex snapped.

"Oh, well, I mean, if I interrupted your evening, I can leave," Olivia said. "I just thought I'd come to take care of you, but it seems you already had someone for that."

"No, Liv, wait," Alex said. "I didn't mean that. I just…I wasn't expecting them either. It's not like I invited them. I was just pointing out that even if I did, I didn't know you were coming."

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I'm just tired. It's been a long week and I missed you. And you're sick, so I should be acting nicer."

"Well, I won't complain about that," Alex said. "But, I am very grateful you drove all the way up here just to take care of me."

"I would do anything for you, Alexandra," Olivia said, giving Alex a smirk.

"Ugh, no," Alex said. "Save that for other times. Now, take me to bed."

Olivia raised her eye brows, and Olivia shook her head.

"Unfortunately, I still feel a little gross and like my head is full of snot, but if I have you all weekend, hopefully tomorrow night will be better for us."

"You are never gross," Olivia said. "But, I'll be more than happy to hold you all night, clean up your snot rags, and feed you soup and medicine. All weekend long, I'm at your service."

"I could get used to that," Alex teased.

"Me, too."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on Twitter -rileyclocks!_


	25. Date Night

_A/N: As promised. Hopefully you like this one. It has a little of everything. Jealousy, Noah/Alex, and "adult time."_

* * *

 **DATE NIGHT**

"Hey you."

Olivia looked up from her desk, glasses falling down her nose, to see her tall, blonde girlfriend leaning against the doorframe of her office. The way Alex's head tilted and her soft smile made Olivia smile for quite possibly the first time in days.

"Hey yourself," Olivia said, relaxing her shoulders and moving the case file away from her as Alex came into her office and shut the door. "How was the drive back?"

"Pretty light since I left early," Alex said, plopping down on the couch across from Olivia's desk. "Kaitlyn agree to give me her notes from what I missed as a thank you for my help this week."

Olivia rolled her eyes and let a breath out her nose. "Didn't she already buy you dinner at some fancy restaurant?"

"Yes, but I'm not going to turn down a chance to come home early to you," Alex said. Olivia smiled, realizing the ping of jealousy she felt was probably unfounded.

"Good point," Olivia said.

"Besides, I'll probably keep helping out when I can," Alex said. "It'll be good experience when I give my campaign a go."

And all of a sudden, the jealousy was back. Olivia looked down and grabbed her bag to put some files in. "Give me just a minute, and we can go home."

"I probably need to stop at my place, at least to get some clean clothes and a nice dress," Alex said.

Olivia gave Alex a curious look. "Plans this weekend?"

Alex got up from the couch and walked over toward Olivia's desk where the brunette was still sitting, packing things up.

"Well," Alex said, slide up on the desk like she used to do years ago. "I was thinking I could convince my girlfriend to take me out to a nice dinner this weekend. You know, have a proper date?"

Olivia looked nervously out her office window to make sure no one was watching Alex propped up on the side of her desk. She looked up and forgot about being jealous a few moments ago.

"I don't know how nice, since we'll have to take Noah, but that sounds like a good idea to me," Olivia said, placing her hand on Alex's knee.

"Actually…don't get mad, but…" Alex said, cringing her face and standing up from the desk. "I texted Lucy and asked if she'd be willing to watch Noah for a few hours tomorrow night so we could go out."

"You what?" Olivia said, surprised.

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "I should have talked to you, but I thought it would be a nice surprise and I didn't want to stress you. You have been seemingly busy this week."

 _Busy. Yeah, or just insecure about all the time Alex was spending during the week with Kaitlyn._

Olivia shook her head. "No, it's fine, sweetheart," she said. "And it's a nice surprise. Thank you."

#

"Hey, Noah, Mama is home and I have a someone special with me," Olivia said, as she came into the apartment.

"Lex?" Noah said, looking up and eyes widening when he saw the blonde come in the door behind Olivia.

"Hey buddy," Alex said, walking over to give him a hug as he got up to greet her.

"You sick still?" Noah asked, looking up at her.

"No, I'm all better," Alex said. "I think the 'Get-Well' card you made me helped, though."

"Mama had to write your name for me," Noah confessed.

"I couldn't tell," Alex said, looking up to wink at Olivia. "It looked the same to me."

Noah laughed then went back to the puzzle he was putting together.

"You want some help with that?" Alex asked Noah. He nodded and she sat down beside him, making sure to put her cellphone in her purse and away from him. "How's your head?"

"Doctor said I might have scar," Noah said, pointing to the top. "It doesn't hurt, though."

"I'm glad you're better," Alex said, tussling his head before reaching down for a puzzle piece.

Olivia made her way to the bedroom to change then came back to the kitchen to start dinner.

"I probably should be cooking for you," Alex said. "You worked all day."

"It's ok," Olivia said. "You and Noah can get caught up."

Alex went back to the puzzle and Olivia back to cooking dinner, occasionally stealing glances of her son and her girlfriend being very serious in their quest to put together the 30-piece puzzle. Olivia laughed every time Alex "accidentally" put a piece in the wrong place and Noah corrected her.

"No, silly," he said. "This goes on the edge cause it's straight."

"Ohhhh," Alex said, pretending like he was teaching her.

After about 10 minutes, Alex's phone started buzzing from text messages. She looked back at her purse a couple of times, but Olivia could tell she was trying hard to ignore it. She knew she was still probably worried from Noah's accident.

"You know, I think it'll be ok if you want to look at your phone," Olivia finally said. "Noah isn't going to be climbing anymore, are you, Buddy? Besides, I'm here to watch him, too."

"No, it's fine," Alex said. "Whoever it is can wait."

"What if it's your dad?" Olivia said.

"It's not," Alex said. "He calls on Sundays."

"What if he got engaged?" Olivia teased. Alex shot her an icy stare as Olivia laughed at her own joke.

"Fine," Alex said, reaching back for her purse. "But if he's getting engaged, just remember you're going to have to deal with an angry girlfriend all night."

Olivia laughed as she got the plates out of the cabinet for their dinner.

Alex looked down and started replying to the multitude of text messages she had.

"Who is it?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, it's Kaitlyn," Alex said.

Olivia rolled her eyes again, thankful Alex didn't see. She didn't know why she didn't like Kaitlyn, it wasn't just jealousy. There was something she didn't like.

"She need more help?" Olivia asked.

"Huh?" Alex said, still replying to texts. "Oh, no. She and her girlfriend just broke up and she's venting."

"I'm sorry, her what?" Olivia said, stopping mid-cut into a tomato for the salad.

"Her girlfriend," Alex said, not even registering Olivia's shock.

"I didn't realize she…um, had a girlfriend," Olivia said.

Alex finally looked up. "Liv, it's 2018. You think I'm the only gay ADA in the state of New York?"

"No, I didn't mean…I just…didn't realize she was a lesbian," Olivia said. "You didn't mention that."

"Technically, I think she's bi-sexual, as I know she's dated men, too. Kind of like you, I guess," Alex said. "Anyway, I didn't think her sexual orientation was important."

"No, it's not," Olivia said. "I'm just…tired." _And jealous, again._

"Anyway, I told her we're about to eat dinner, so I think she's done texting me," Alex said. "Oh, and she said to tell you hello."

 _Eye roll again._

"Dinner's ready," Olivia said, ignoring what she was feeling.

#

Alex check-in for their reservation at the restaurant the following night. Most of the men, and women, coming in and out of the place were eyeing the two women. They both looked stunning.

Olivia, for her part, was in a little black dress, with a deep cut into the back. It wasn't what she planned to wear. When Alex said to wear a dress, she thought a little less formal – until she saw what the blonde was wearing. That's when Olivia stepped it up and realized they weren't just going out for a nice dinner – they were going out for a fancy dinner.

Alex was in a low-cut long red dress, not unlike the one she had been wearing the night Olivia and Elliot interrupted her dinner with Langan years ago.

"Alexandra Cabot," Alex told the host.

"Right this way Ms. Cabot," the young girl said, leading them to their seat.

Olivia was feeling a little uncomfortable. They had been out to nice dinners before, even fancy dinners, but this place was over the top. Olivia hadn't even heard of it before.

They were seated at their table and Alex began looking over the wine menu.

"Red or white?" Alex asked.

"Whichever you want," Olivia said. "You know I like all wine."

"I'm not sure some of the stuff you drink could even count as wine," Alex said, smiling.

A waiter came back over and Alex ordered something very French sounding. Olivia scanned down to see what kind of wine it was, her mouth nearly dropping over when she saw the price next to it.

"Alex, do you realize what you just ordered?" Olivia said.

"Yes," Alex said. "It's fantastic, Liv. You'll love it."

"Yeah, but, did you see the price?" Olivia said.

"Yes," Alex said. "Don't worry, tonight is my treat."

"I'm not worried about paying," Olivia said, tone harsher. "I've just never known you to ever spend even half that on a bottle of wine. I mean, I know you're a rich girl, but you've never been the spoiled rich girl."

"Are you saying I'm spoiled because I happen to want to have a nice night with my girlfriend and a good bottle of wine?" Alex said, her eyes never left Olivia.

"That's not what I mean," Olivia said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I'm sure it's lovely wine. It's just…this place is not just a 'nice' place. This is a place jet-setting celebrities and dignitaries have dinner."

"You're right," Alex said. "This wouldn't be our normal nice or even fancy night out. I just heard good things about it from some of my classmates and thought since we actually live in the city, we should try it."

"You mean Kaitlyn?" Olivia said.

Alex cocked her head a little and was about to say something when the server showed up with their wine and to take their orders. He poured a small amount for Alex to taste and when she nodded, he finished pouring them both a glass.

They both took a drink, unsure what to do with their silence.

"Wow, you're right," Olivia said. "This is good wine." She was trying to break the ice, knowing she had crossed a line.

"I told you," Alex said, relaxing and a smug look coming up on her face. "As I was saying, Joyce and Lynn told me this place was good."

Olivia got the message loud and clear. And pretty soon, the amazing food and wine kicked in and she forgot about any stress she had felt about Alex and the small changes she was seeing in her.

#

Olivia checked in on Noah when they got home, seeing that he was sound asleep. She told Lucy goodbye and made her way back to the bedroom where Alex was starting to get undressed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Olivia said.

"Um, I thought I'd put on pajamas before bed," Alex said, laughing. "I certainly don't want to sleep in this."

Olivia stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind her, locking it. She slowly walked over to Alex and put her hands on Alex's bare shoulders and arms from behind.

"I hope you don't sleep in it," Olivia whispered leaning forward. "But, I was hoping I could help you with the undressing part." She let her lips graze the side of Alex's neck.

"Mmmm," Alex moaned. "I like this plan better."

Olivia slowly unzipped Alex's dress and gently pushed it down, letting it drop to the floor. Alex turned around and stepped out of it, standing in front of Olivia in nothing but panties – lacy red – and a barely-there adhesive bra covering just her nipple area.

Alex reached around and unzipped Olivia's dress, letting it fall down next to hers. Within moments, both women were in nothing but their panties. Olivia sat Alex down on the bed and stepped between her legs, leaning down to kiss her. She slid her hand behind Alex's head and slowly let her tongue explore Alex's mouth, letting the kiss grow deeper by the second.

Alex's hands slid around Olivia's back, pulling her down on top of her as she laid back on the bed and feeling Olivia put her weight between her legs.

Olivia slid both hands down, then back up under Alex's arms, pushing them up over the blonde's head and holding them there. She moved her lips to the side of Alex's neck, moving up to take the blonde's ear lobe in her mouth, and grinning when she heard Alex whimper. She then moved down and latched on to the nape of Alex's neck, letting her tongue circle around the porcelain skin.

Alex gasped as Olivia bit down just slightly, and slid her hand down to caress her breast.

"Liv…God, I've missed you," Alex breathed.

Olivia pressed her core against Alex's as her hand slid down farther, letting it graze the outside of Alex's thighs. Olivia raised up just long enough to slide Alex's panties off.

Alex ran her hands through her hair as she watched Olivia pull her own panties off, too, and watched as her naked girlfriend crawled back on top of her.

Olivia kissed Alex again, harder and deeper this time, right before she slid one finger, then two, inside Alex. She felt Alex clench around her as she made contact and slowly thrust inside the blonde.

Alex's breathing got louder and faster as Olivia picked up the speed.

"Oh, Liv…" Alex said, reaching down to grasp at the sheets. "I've missed you inside me."

Alex's words only turned Olivia on more, encouraging her to thrust harder. When Alex started with the short, high-pitched yelps, Olivia bent her fingers inside, pushing right up against Alex's g-spot. Alex's breath became unsteady and Olivia knew she couldn't wait much longer.

Knowing she wanted to drag it out a little longer, Olivia slid her fingers out of Alex, getting a crazy look and whimper before dropping to her knees and pulling the blonde back to the edge of the bed.

Olivia slid her arms under Alex's thighs and buried her face, looking up at Alex right before she let her tongue part the blonde's lower lips.

"Ahhhh," Alex said when Olivia made contact.

Alex slid her hands into Olivia's hair, letting her fingers run through and grasping harder as Olivia worked her magic tongue on her clit.

"Fuck," Alex said. Olivia grasped Alex's thighs harder, feeling them start to quiver as her hips squirmed. The more Alex squirmed, the more Olivia dug her fingers into her thighs and the faster she circled her tongue over Alex's swollen bud.

Alex gasped sharply, then latched her legs around Olivia's back as her body began to spasm in ecstasy. Her hands gripped the side of the bed and her hips shot up as far as Olivia would allow them.

"Liv, Liv, Liv…yes!"

Olivia kept going until the blonde stopped shaking, then slowly licked around until Alex had enough time to recover for a moment.

"Jesus, Liv," Alex said. "Fuck."

"Are those the only words you can say?" Olivia said smugly. "Did I leave you speechless?"

"Yeah, my vocab is gone," Alex said, laughing. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you," Olivia said. "Only a few more weeks."

"This is so much better than phone sex," Alex said. Olivia crawled up next to Olivia and wrapped her arm around Alex's waist.

"Agreed…but you know, I was thinking," Olivia said, "maybe this week we can try it on video."

"Are you kidding me?" Alex said.

"No," Olivia said. "Come on, it may be fun."

"Or mortifying," Alex said.

Olivia rolled to the side and kissed Alex's neck again.

"Oh, I see what you're doing. You're trying to bribe me," Alex said.

"Is it working?" Olivia said.

"We'll see," Alex said.

"You know, we don't have to if you really don't want to, if you're not comfortable," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said. "And it's not that I'm not comfortable with you…I just…I don't know, seeing myself on video."

"yeah, but you get to see me, too," Olivia said, raising her eye brows.

"I really can't believe my SVU Lieutenant girlfriend wants to have cam sex," Alex said. "Isn't this how most of your teen cases start?"

"We're not teenagers, and we're not recording," Olivia said. "It's better than pictures, right?"

"Yeah, it is," Alex said. "Maybe we can try a few things."

"Ok, up to you, and for what it's worth, I'm not suggesting like full on um, sex…but you know, just a little show," Olivia said.

Alex rolled over and laid on top of Olivia. "You are lucky I love you," she said.

"How much do you love me?" Olivia asked.

"So fucking much," Alex said. "And I'm about to show you how much."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	26. Direction

_A/N: Enjoy! This is putting several blocks in play for future storylines. I work late tomorrow night (Thursday), so don't expect an update tomorrow. But I'm getting back into the midst of where I'm wanting to go, so we're moving forward._

* * *

 **DIRECTION**

"How many more weeks?" Olivia asked when she woke up Saturday morning lying next to Alex. "I miss waking up with you."

"Two more weeks and I'm home for good," Alex said. She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows, leaning forward to give her girlfriend a good morning kiss.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's back and pulled her on top of her.

"Speaking of 'for good,'… um, I was thinking maybe you'd like to live here, with me and Noah," Olivia said.

She had spent time over the past week trying to get her feelings in check. She knew she had no reason to be jealous of Kaitlyn. And she knew she had no reason to distrust Alex or be afraid of her leaving her. They were solid and Olivia didn't want to let her insecurities and fears get in the way of that. That meant maybe initiating the next step with Alex.

Alex wasn't exactly surprised, but it caught her off guard since Olivia had been a little distant since she'd been in Albany.

"Oh…um, you really want me to move in here?" Alex said. She wanted to make sure Olivia was sure and that she didn't feel rushed.

"We don't have to live _here_ ," Olivia said. "I know it's a little smaller than you're used to, especially with Noah here. And it would be tough with three of us."

"No, that's not what I meant," Alex said. "I think it's a great idea, regardless of where we live. I just meant, I want you to be sure that we're not rushing things. I mean, it's not been a year yet."

"I know, but…it feels like 10 years," Olivia said.

"Excuse me? You already feel like an old married couple?" Alex teased, reaching down to pinch Olivia's side.

"No," Olivia said, rolling Alex off her and holding her hands down so she couldn't tickle or pinch her. "I mean, I feel like I've loved you forever, so even though it's been less than a year, my love for you is far deeper than it would be if we just met on that beach in May."

"Good save," Alex said, giving Olivia another kiss.

"So, you really want to move in with us?" Olivia asked. "I mean, Noah isn't the best at cleaning the bathroom, but…."

"Yes, I would love to," Alex said. "Once I get home from Albany, we can start figuring out where we want to live – here, my place, or elsewhere – and make arrangements."

"Good," Olivia said. "We don't have to be in a hurry, but I wanted to make sure you know how much Noah and I love you, and that I'm ready to move forward."

"Me, too," Alex said.

The two women embraced before beginning a lingering kissing that slowly became more heated – that is until they heard a tiny voice calling for them outside the door.

"Mama? Lex?" Noah said.

"I guess play time is over," Alex said, grinning.

"For now," Olivia said, giving Alex a smirk and eyebrow raise. She jumped out of bed and threw her robe on before greeting Noah at the locked bedroom door.

Olivia leaned down and whispered something to Noah. His eyes lit up as he stared up at his Mama.

"I'm going to make us some pancakes," Olivia said. "When you two sleepyheads decide to wake up, they'll be ready." Olivia looked down and winked at Noah before disappearing to the kitchen.

Noah walked in the bedroom and crawled up in bed with Alex, who made sure to pull the covers up over herself as he snuggled up close.

"You gonna live with us?" Noah asked.

"Well, that depends," Alex said. "What would you think about that? Me living here with you and your Mom?"

Noah nodded his head fast. "I like!" he said.

Alex's heart melted seeing his exciting at her moving in with them. She didn't know Olivia had already talked to Noah about it before the weekend to see how he would feel about it. She figured he would love it – and it did – but she wanted to make sure first.

"Well, then I would love to move in with you," Alex said.

"You can be my mama, too!" Noah exclaimed. "Yeah?"

Alex almost lost it at that point, eyes filling with water. She nodded. "Well, if that's what your mom wants, then someday, yes, I would love to be your other mom."

Noah smiled and gave Alex a hug, wrapping his tiny arms tight around her neck. The tears Alex was holding back were suddenly streaming down her face.

"Hey, why don't we go see if your Mom needs help with pancakes?" Alex finally managed to say.

Noah nodded and crawled out of bed, heading off to the kitchen and leaving Alex alone to wipe away her tears. She put on her robe and joined her hopefully-soon-to-be family in the kitchen for breakfast.

#

After a lazy morning and early afternoon, Olivia took Noah out for some new shoes while Alex went to her place to check in and pick up a few things for her last two weeks of training. After shopping, Noah and Olivia were going to join Alex at her place for dinner; she insisted on cooking dinner for them.

While catching up on emails from her office, she heard a knock at the door. She jumped up to open it, assuming it was Olivia, even though she had a key. When Alex opened it, she was surprised to see Kaitlyn and not Olivia.

"Oh, Kaitlyn, I wasn't expecting you," Alex said.

"Well, I know I'm not your beautiful girlfriend, but it's good to see you anyway," she said.

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "I didn't mean that. Come in. What brings you by? I thought we had plans with Ellie tomorrow?" Kaitlyn walked by and Alex shut the door behind her.

"We did, but plans changed and I was hoping to convince you to come out with us tonight," Kaitlyn said.

"Who is us?" Alex said. "Actually, it doesn't matter. Olivia and Noah are coming over in a little while for dinner."

"You cook?" Kaitlyn said, almost laughing.

"Hey, I can cook," Alex protested.

"A rich girl like you? If you say so," Kaitlyn joked. "Anyway, Ellie and I were going out with some friends in the city. Some of them work for the DA's office and the city. You may know some of them."

"Like I said, Liv and Noah are coming over," Alex said.

"For dinner," Kaitlyn said. "We won't go out until at least 10 p.m. Surely the rug rat and his mom will be asleep by then." She gave Alex an eye roll.

"I really can't," Alex said. "I don't have enough time with them as it is."

"So, you're really into this family thing with them, huh?" Kaitlyn said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Alex said. "I think we're moving in together after I get back from Albany."

"Hm," Kaitlyn said. "I just…I don't know. I can't imagine being with a cop. Especially one with a kid."

"Well, I happen to love Olivia," Alex said. "And Noah."

Kaitlyn shook her head. "Clearly," she said. "I just mean, how's the family life, being a mom, gonna work with the political ambitions I know you have?"

"We'll figure it out," Alex said. "We always do."

"You've been together less than a year, though," Kaitlyn said.

"Yeah, but I mean, we have a long history," Alex said.

"I see," Kaitlyn said. She had walked across the room and picked up a photo of Olivia and Alex from a bookshelf. The photo was nearly 14 years old and was taken when the SVU squad was out at the bar.

"What about you and your girlfriend? Jessica? How is that situation?" Alex asked, hoping to change the situation from her and Olivia since Kaitlyn was obviously a little judgmental about it.

"We are…working on things," Kaitlyn said. "She wants to live together, get married…and I, well, I don't know. I love her, I really do, but I like freedom and independence."

"Shocking," Alex joked. "So, have you seen her? Are you still broken up?"

"Yeah, we're not together again, yet, but we talked last night," Kaitlyn said.

"How did that go?" Alex said.

"Well, I mean we left it up in the air when I left this morning," Kaitlyn said.

Alex shook her head. "So, you're still sleeping together?"

"Of course," Kaitlyn said. "Why wouldn't we be? We are good together in bed."

Alex laughed.

"Oh, come on," Kaitlyn said. "I know you aren't as uptight as you come across. In fact, I know for a fact you snuck away from our group one night last week to go have phone sex with Olivia."

Alex blushed. "How?"

"I saw some suggestive text messages when you laid your phone down," Kaitlyn laughed and admitted. Alex's mouth dropped open, faking shock. "Don't worry. I wasn't doing it intentionally, but when I see your girlfriend's cleavage, albeit covered, and you suddenly run away…I know what's about to go down."

Alex laughed. She remembered that night…and that photo. It wasn't sexually explicit by any means, but it certainly got Olivia's message across.

"Anyway, I should get going," Kaitlyn said. "I'd hate for your girlfriend to catch me here. I get the feeling she doesn't like me."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know," Kaitlyn said. "Maybe she's jealous. Could you blame her? I am beautiful."

"Yeah, and arrogant," Alex said. She got up and walked Kaitlyn to the door.

"If you change your mind about coming out, give me or Ellie a text," Kaitlyn said. "And Alex…good luck with your whole 'family' thing. Even if I don't understand it."

"Thanks," Alex said. "And good luck with Jessica."

"Thanks," Kaitlyn said. "I'm sure I'll give in soon enough and give into her pleas to take her back."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Goodbye, Kaitlyn."

Alex shut the door and laughed as she leaned back against it. Kaitlyn was …. Something else. In the real world, she'd probably hate her, but she'd gotten to know her pretty well over the past few weeks. She was a snob and arrogant, but Alex also knew she talked a bigger game and was pretty insecure in some areas of her life – particularly her career goals, even though she was an accomplished woman.

But, Kaitlyn said something that made Alex think twice. _Was Olivia jealous of Kaitlyn?_ _Was that why she's been acting so strange lately?_ Alex had to admit, if the situation was reversed, she'd probably be jealous of Kaitlyn.

#

After dinner, Olivia put Noah to sleep in the guest bedroom and rejoined the blonde on the couch with a glass of wine. Alex finished replying to a text and put her phone away.

"Who was that?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, just Kaitlyn and Ellie," Alex said. "They went out tonight and tried to get me to go with them, but I declined."

"Oh," Olivia said, slowly sipping her wine. "Did you want to?"

"No," Alex said. "Like I told Kaitlyn when she stopped by earlier, I don't get enough time with you and Noah as it is."

"Kaitlyn was here?" Olivia asked carefully, trying to hide the twinge of jealousy.

"Yeah," Alex said. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Olivia said, suddenly nervous.

"I could be wrong, but it seems that you're not a big fan of Kaitlyn," Alex said.

"Well, I probably wouldn't run her fan club," Olivia joked.

"Are you…jealous?" Alex said.

"Um…should I be?" Olivia said.

"God, no," Alex said.

"Then, no, I'm not," Olivia said. "I mean, ok, maybe I have been a little. She's so…I don't know, something."

"Aggressive?" Alex laughed.

"Yeah."

"Look, I should have figured it out earlier," Alex said. "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize."

"No, it's fine," Olivia said. "I mean, I trust you. I just don't exactly trust her. But I trust you and I should have remembered that. Besides, you've dealt with your jealousy pretty well."

"I have?"

"With Ed, sure," Olivia said. "I mean, here I am jealous of someone that you've never even dated and probably never would. But I asked you to be ok with my relationship with my ex."

"Well, at one point, I would have said you would have never dated Ed Tucker," Alex said. "But, it's different."

"It is different. I was jealous over someone you have never expressed interest in," Olivia said. "You could have been jealous, and I assume were, over someone I was in a fairly long relationship with. I asked a lot of you…to be ok with that."

"Olivia, I know you would never ask me if there was still anything between you and Tucker," Alex said. "And it wasn't just about me and you…it was also about Noah. He needed Ed."

Olivia shrugged, acknowledging the truth in what Alex said.

"Besides, I haven't always kept my cool," Alex said. "The green-eyed monster came out at the hospital."

"Oh?" Olivia said.

"He didn't tell you?" Alex said.

"No," Olivia said. "He just reminded me that I needed to update my emergency contact list and that you were going to make a great mother to Noah someday."

 _Tears._ Alex couldn't help it…again.

"You know, this morning, while you were cooking breakfast, Noah asked if I was going to be his mom," Alex said.

Olivia smiled. "And? What did you tell him?"

"I told him if that's what you wanted, then I would love to be his other mom," Alex said.

"And I would love that, too," Olivia said. "Also, I may have over heard that conversation this morning. I was listening from the living room."

"I knew it!" Alex said. "I could tell by the grin on your face when we came in there."

Olivia grinned and shrugged, taking a sip of wine. After a quiet moment of Alex just smiling at her, Olivia put her glass down, then took Alex's glass and sat it down. She put her hand on the side of Alex's face.

"Alexandra, I love you," Olivia said. "And I know things aren't always perfect and we've had a long road to get here…but I'm so glad we are. And I think we are headed in the right direction."

"Oh yeah? What direction is that?" Alex teased.

"Well, moving in together, for starters," Olivia said. "Then, maybe we'll have to work on a more…um permanent relationship…I mean, if you're going to be Noah's mom and all."

Alex smiled. "I love you," she said. "And right now, I know one other thing we should add to our whole 'moving in the right direction' thing."

"And what direction would that be?" Olivia questioned, confused.

"The direction of the bedroom," Alex said. She kissed Olivia's hand then got up and winked as she pulled Olivia with her to bed.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	27. Past

_A/N: Ok, new arc starting here with multiple layers. Strap in, it's about to get bumpy._

* * *

 **PAST**

"Alex home soon?" Barba asked. He was sitting in Olivia's office on a Friday morning, having just gotten a guilty plea and closed out a case they had spent months working on.

"She came in late last night," Olivia said. "She's not back at work until Monday and is probably sleeping today."

"Is she ready to throw her name in for a District Attorney run?" Barba asked, trying to get a little information out of Olivia about the EADA's intentions.

"Why? You thinking about it?" Olivia teased.

Barba laughed. "God, no," he said. "But I'd certainly support Cabot. This guy now is so inconsistent, especially when it comes to his Wall Street friends."

Olivia nodded. She had heard the same complaints from Alex. The truth was, Olivia was sure Alex wasn't ready, at least for the next election, but she also didn't want to miss her chance. She just shrugged and avoiding answering for the blonde, especially since she could always change her mind.

"Hey, Lieu, we have a vic over at Bellevue," Carisi said. "She…she asked for you."

Olivia gave Carisi a strange look and exchanged a look with Barba. "What's her name?"

"Nicole Lions," Carisi said, looking down at his notebook. "Early 20s, 23 I think."

Olivia squinted her eyes to think, but came up with nothing. She shook her head. "It doesn't ring a bell, but I'll head down there."

Carisi left and Barba stood to leave. "Well, at least we had a moment of winning today," he said. "You don't know this girl?"

"I don't recognize the name, but you know, it could be anyone. Maybe a friend of someone I've met over the years," she said.

"Well, keep me posted if you need anything," Barba said.

#

"Hey, Lieutenant, she's pretty shaken up," Rollins said when Olivia arrived at the hospital. "She asked if you were still here and when I said yes, she insisted on only talking to you. She said she knows you."

"Did she say how? The name didn't ring a bell," Olivia said.

"She didn't, but I got the feeling she has experienced a sexual assault before," Rollins said. "She's married, or at least was. So maybe you knew her by her maiden name."

"I guess we're about to find out," Olivia said.

Rollins and Olivia headed down the hall toward Nicole's room, only to be met by a nurse at the door.

"How is Ms. Lions?" Rollins asked.

"She's calmed down a little," Nurse Roberts said. "But please, keep your questions short."

"We will," Olivia said.

"Oh, and she prefers to go by her maiden name of Sherman, not Lions," the nurse said. "Nikki Sherman."

Olivia's mouth dropped open and her blood ran cold. Rollins stared at Olivia while she processed the information.

"You know her?" Rollins finally asked.

"Yeah, I know her."

#

Olivia got home later than she had hoped. She was worried about Nikki. She remembered the suicide attempt last time when things weren't going well. She was devastated that the girl was having to go through something like this again and spent most of her day tracking down leads to make sure they found her attacker and would be able to prove it without any complications.

That case, and those few days, was a time in Olivia's life that wasn't pleasant. Dickie went missing and his best friend was killed. Alex had the BAR in town investigating her and things between SVU and the attorney were chilly to say the least. A lot of mistakes had been made, and Olivia swore she wasn't going to let that happen again.

When she came through the apartment door, Alex was sitting on the floor playing cars and trucks with Noah. It was the first time Olivia had smiled all day since she arrived at the hospital.

"Hey, you're home late," Alex said, looking up to Olivia.

Olivia had texted her earlier to say she would be late and that they had caught a case, but didn't tell her anything about it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Olivia said. She pulled her shoes off and locked up her gun before plopping down on the couch near Alex and Noah.

"Everything ok?" Alex said, glancing up, while still focusing on what she and Noah were doing.

"Do you remember Nikki Sherman?" Olivia asked.

Alex froze for a moment then snapped around. "Are you kidding? That was one of the worst weeks of my career. It's not every day I'm under investigation by the Bar. Why?"

"She was raped," Olivia said. "Again."

"Oh, my God, Liv," Alex said. "That's horrible. Is she ok?"

"She's as well as could be expected," Olivia said. "We weren't able to get a lot of details today, but have a few things to go on."

"Does she know her attacker?" Alex asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No, at least that she remembers. Someone broke in her apartment in the middle of the night. She didn't see much."

"Geez," Alex said. "Random or targeted?"

"We don't know yet, but you know, we're rounding up the usual suspects," Olivia said.

"I hate that for her," Alex said. "As bad as that time was for me – well, for all of us – it was worse for her."

"Yeah," Olivia said, nodding. "Let's talk about something else…like maybe moving in together. Have you figure out what you want to do?"

"I'm open," Alex said. "I know Noah is comfortable here and I don't want to uproot his world."

"Well, the fact of the matter is, this place isn't big enough for the three of us, and I could use a bigger place in general," Olivia said. "I mean, I literally turned a closet into a bedroom for Noah."

Alex laughed. Noah's room was quite small, even though she had some ideas on how to make it bigger, but it would take away much needed closet space from Olivia, and her.

"Do you want to move in with me, or just look for a new place?" Alex said. "If we had a new place, we could find something that works for all three of us."

"I like that idea," Olivia said.

"It's settled then," Alex said. "Next week, once I'm back to work, I'll make some calls and we'll start looking at apartments."

"New apartments?" Noah asked, vaguely aware of the conversation.

"You know how we talked about Alex moving in with us?" Olivia asked. Noah nodded. "Well, how about if we all moved to a new, and bigger, apartment? You could have a bigger room, and maybe we could find something a little closer to the park."

Noah smiled. "Big room?"

"Maybe," Olivia said. "Would you be ok with moving to a new home?"

"With you and Lex?" Noah asked.

"OF course, buddy," Olivia said. "You, me, and Lex."

Noah smiled and shook his head yes.

"Well, I guess NOW it's settled," Alex said, smiling while looking between Olivia and Noah.

#

"Are you coming to bed?" Alex called out to Olivia in the living room.

"I'll be right there," Olivia said. "I need to call Carisi back. I guess he got some sort of lead on something."

"Ok, I'll wait then," Alex said.

Olivia dialed the squad room but was surprised when Fin picked up instead of Carisi.

"Fin? What are you doing there at this hour?" Olivia asked.

"We might have a problem," Fin said.

"A problem?"

"Well, a problem and a suspect," Fin said. "Sam Baylor."

"Nikki's first attacker?" Olivia said.

"Yeah," Fin said. "He spent some time in prison, and then lived in Colorado for a few years. But, guess who just moved back to the city?"

"Well, I'd imagine he has some motive," Olivia said. "Maybe he'll make it easy this time."

"Yeah, well, there's something else you should know," Fin said. "I haven't mentioned it to anyone else yet. I wanted to come to you first."

"Ok…"

"TARU pulled some messages from social media and phone," he said. "Did you talk to her today?"

"Not for long," Olivia said. "They didn't give us long and she was a little drugged up, too. Why?"

"She dated someone a while back," he said. "It didn't end well. I mean, it didn't look like there were any threats or anything, but he thought she was cheating on him."

"Ok, so she had a boyfriend and they broke up. That's normal," Liv said. "Bring him in for a chat. If he's innocent, he's probably willing to help regardless of how it ended."

"I know we'll have to, but…"

"But what, Fin?" Olivia said, getting a little frustrated.

"It's Dickie," he said. "Dickie, or I should say, Richard Stabler, was her boyfriend."

"Fuck."

* * *

 _A/N: I won't make you wait long for an update to this, but know it will be several chapters. I know I've been less regular lately, and I apologize for that, but this should be a fun arc that leads into us wrapping it up. (But not for a bit, don't worry."_

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	28. Dickie

_A/N: Glad you liked the twist. Like I've said, this arc is an onion and there will be a lot of layers to peel through. Expect a few more twists and turns._

 _I work late tonight, so no chapter tonight. (That's why I am getting one out early in the day.) But I will have an update Wednesday evening (and I usually drop them late)._

* * *

 **DICKIE**

" _It's Dickie," he said. "Dickie, or I should say, Richard Stabler, was her boyfriend."_

" _Fuck."_

#

Olivia made an excuse to leave the apartment, not telling Alex the real reason. She would when she got home, but this was something she needed to do herself – even if she knew she shouldn't.

She made some phone calls, got the information she needed and headed across town. It was late and it wasn't a great part of town. She checked the address again before starting up the steps when someone reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"Fin?" Olivia said, turning around to see her senior detective standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing you're doing," he said. "I figured you'd come here and well, truthfully, neither one of us should be here. At least if we're here together, we have witnesses to whatever happens."

Olivia took a deep breath. Fin was right. Without speaking, she nodded her head, acknowledging his words and indicating for him to follow her inside the apartment building.

They made their way up to the third floor and down the hall to an apartment door. Before Olivia knocked, Fin stopped her.

"How long has it been since you saw him?" he asked.

"God, years," Olivia said. "Probably just after he joined the Army."

"I take it he's out now?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, couple of years, I think," Olivia said. "Ready?"

Fin nodded and Olivia reached up to knock on the door. A young man in his mid-20s came to the door, no shirt on and looking like he just got out of the shower.

"Can I help you?" the guy said.

"Dic—er, Richard Stabler here?" Olivia asked.

"Who's asking?" the shirtless guy said.

Fin lifted his badge. "NYPD."

The guy rolled his eyes and looked back. "Yo, Dick, the cops are here to arrest your ass."

A few moments later, Dickie Stabler came to the door. "Olivia?" He looked like he was seeing a ghost.

"Hey, Dickie. Can we talk to you a few minutes?" Olivia asked quietly.

Dickie looked over to Fin, trying to figure out what was going on. "Is it my dad? Is he ok? I just saw him yesterday."

Olivia quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing like that. Can we talk in private somewhere?"

Dick turned around to look at his roommate. The guy took the hint, grabbed a hoodie, a pack of cigarette and headed outside. "If you go to jail for that weed, you still owe rent," he said before heading down the stairs, laughing.

"I ain't going to jail, asshole," Dick shot back before stepping aside to let Olivia and Fin inside.

Once inside, he cleared off a spot on the couch for them to sit down, and sat down across from them, clearly nervous. "He was kidding about the weed."

Olivia raised her hand. "Don't worry. That's not why we're here and trust me, we don't care."

Dick relaxed a bit then a spoke. "So, what's going on?"

Olivia and Fin shared a glance. Dick didn't seem like he was aware of what happened to Nikki.

"Do you know a girl name Nicole Lions?" Fin asked.

"You mean Nikki?" Dickie said. "Yeah, we were together for a while."

"How'd that relationship end?" Olivia asked.

"What?" he asked.

"You said you dated, so when did you break up? Why?" Olivia asked gently.

Dick looked away, then down. "I don't know. Why does any relationship end? Just…she decided to move on."

"And you didn't want to?" Fin asked.

"Well, I mean, not then, but it's whatever now," he said.

"So, you didn't think she was cheating on you?" Olivia asked.

"What the hell is going on?" Dick said, finally frustrated with the questions. "Is Nikki ok?"

Olivia and Fin shared another glance, which only annoyed Dick more.

"I'm not answering any more questions until you tell me what's going on," Dick said.

"Nikki was attacked," Olivia said.

"What do you mean attacked?" he said. "You mean sexually assaulted? Like that asshole, Sam Baylor, did to her in high school?"

Olivia nodded to confirm and they watched Dick's face turn red with anger and his fist clench.

"She's ok, though, right?" he asked.

"Yes, she…will be," Olivia said.

The three of them sat in silence for a moment.

"So, Dickie, we have to ask…where we you last night, early this morning?" Fin said.

"What? You think I did this?" he said. "Is that what she said? If she did, she's lying."

"Whoa, calm down," Olivia said. "Nikki doesn't know who attacked her, and no, she didn't say you did it. But, we don't have any suspects."

"Well, it wasn't me," Dick said. His demeanor told him he was starting to shut down.

"So, your alibi for last night?" Fin asked.

"I was at work, then I came home," Dick said.

"Ok, great," Olivia said. "So, your roommate can confirm what time you got home?"

"He wasn't here," Dick said. "He had a date last night and didn't come home until sometime today."

"But you worked, then came home. So, work can confirm what time you left there?" Fin said.

"Yeah," Dick said. "They can." His tone was not pleasant anymore.

"Ok, well, just give us a name and I'll have the detectives check it out tomorrow and we should be ok," Olivia said. "Perhaps you can stop down to the station tomorrow and make a statement. You can maybe help us with some details. Anyone bothering Nikki recently, anyone you saw hanging around. Things like that. Then this whole thing will be cleared up."

Dick eyed them, unsure whether he trusted them.

"Fine," he said. "I'll stop by on my way to work."

"Great," Fin said, standing up. Olivia stood up next to him.

"Do I need to bring my lawyer?" Dick asked, sarcastically.

"That's up to you, but if you don't have anything to hide…" Olivia started.

"Yeah, yeah, then I don't need one. I've heard my dad spout that lie a thousand times," Dick said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He got up and walked them to the door, not even saying goodbye before shutting the door behind them.

Olivia and Fin walked down the steps then outside, passing the roommate on their way.

"You believe him?" Fin asked.

"Well, he genuinely didn't seem to know why we were there," she said. "Even if he did get defensive later."

"Well, he is Elliot's kid. Would you expect any less?" Fin said.

"Touché," she said. "And I guess if I thought someone was accusing me of rape, I'd be defensive, too."

"Hopefully tomorrow we can clear this whole thing up, and find Nikki's actual attacker," Fin said.

"Hopefully. She doesn't deserve this," Olivia said. They started walking and Olivia reached out to stop Fin before they went to their separate vehicles. "Tomorrow we should let Rollins and Carisi handle this. If he does turn out to be a suspect…"

"I know, Liv," Fin said.

#

Olivia quietly came into the apartment, trying not to wake Noah or disturb Alex, who she figured would wait up on her.

She was right. Alex was on the couch, half sleeping with Olivia creeped through.

"Hey, everything ok?" Alex asked sleepily.

"Yeah, we just…had to check on something," Olivia said.

"Is it Nikki's case? Is she ok?" Alex said.

"Nikki is fine…well, I mean, physically she ok," Olivia said. "It was about her case, but not her."

"Suspect?" Alex said.

"I hope not," Olivia said. She didn't explain her words even though Alex gave her a funny look. "I'm pretty beat and ready for bed. I promise to give you a full update tomorrow, but right now, I just want to sleep."

Alex nodded and followed Olivia to the bedroom.

#

 _Saturday_

"So, the victim, Nicole, you know her? She's been through this before?" Carisi asked Fin and Olivia. It was Saturday morning and everyone was in the office, determined to figure out who Nikki's attacker was. Until they had a solid lead, it was all hands on deck.

"Yeah, several years ago when she was in high school she was sexually assaulted by a boy," Olivia said. "There was also pictures of her naked passed around the school. It was…a challenging case."

"And this guy, Richard you said? The ex? You know him?" Carisi asked.

Fin and Olivia exchanged a glance while Carisi and Rollins looked on, trying to figure out what was happening.

"My old partner, Elliot, it's his son," Olivia said.

"Oh, shit," Rollins said. "You sure you don't want to handle the interview?"

"No," Olivia said. "We do this by the book. If he turns out to be a suspect, it'll get messy, so Fin and I will stay as far away from anything relating to Richard as possible until we clear him."

"If – if we clear him," Carisi said. Everyone glared at him. "What? I'm just saying, it's usually the boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend." Rollins nudged him, hinting for him to shut up.

"No, Carisi is right," Olivia said. "Given the history with Nikki and how things ended, we have to take him seriously as a suspect. Stabler's kid or not."

Everyone nodded in agreement then Rollin's eyes went to someone behind Olivia. She nodded for the Lieutenant to turn around.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" Olivia said. She then motioned for her girlfriend, and son to head into her office. Noah, however, had other plans and found Carisi right away, who took the boy to the snack machine.

"I just thought we'd bring you some lunch," Alex said, smiling and handing a bag to Olivia. "You seemed stressed and tossed and turned all night."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah," she said. "You didn't have to watch Noah all day. Lucy is available."

"I know," Alex said. "But, we wanted to have lunch with you. Lucy is coming over later and I'll go to my place to start getting caught up on the one million emails that is going to hit me Monday."

"Well, thank you for lunch," Olivia said.

"What did you mean when we came in?" Alex said.

"What?"

"Stabler's kid or not?" Alex said. "Which one? And what happened?"

Olivia was about to fill Alex in on everything when she heard someone say her name out in the squad room. Before she could get up to see who it was, Elliot Stabler had barged into her office, mad look on his face.

"You think my kid is a rape suspect?" he shouted. No hello, how are you. Nothing. He was angry.

"Good to see you too, Elliot," Olivia replied.

Elliot calmed a little, but remained focused. "Liv, don't do that. I need to know what you said to Dickie and why the hell you think you can talk to him without at least picking up the phone to call me?"

Alex sat on the couch trying to take everything in. Elliot hadn't even noticed she was there.

"Elliot, he is a grown man," she said. "He doesn't need a parent present for an interview."

"There won't be an interview," he said. "Not without a lawyer. And whatever he told you last night isn't admissible."

"El, last night was a courtesy visit," she said. "Fin and I were hoping to clear it up so he wouldn't even need to come in."

"A courtesy would have been to call me," he said, still narrowed in on Olivia.

"Yeah, you're so good at phone calls, aren't you?" Olivia snapped back.

Silence.

Elliot hung his head, voice calmed a little. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know…well, I know I haven't been the best of friends in the last few years. But Liv, this is my kid."

"I know, Elliot," Olivia said gently. "And I want to get this cleared up as much as you do – trust me. The quicker he cooperates, the quicker we'll be able to do that."

Elliot put his hands on the back of his neck and turned around, seeing Alex for the first time.

"Alex? I didn't even see you. What are you doing in here?" he asked. "You're not back in SVU, are you?"

Alex realized, for the first time, he had no idea she and Olivia were dating.

"She just stopped by for lunch," Olivia said, jumping in. It wasn't a conversation she was ready to have with him, especially given how he reacted to her dating Ed Tucker.

"Oh," he said, not giving it more thought. Then he started laughing sarcastically. "You know, the last time the three were in a room talking about Dickie and Nikki…"

"Yeah, don't remind me," Alex said flatly. "Elliot, it's nice to see you. And even though I have very little idea what is going on, I'm sorry it's under these circumstances."

Elliot nodded, acknowledging her words.

"Is Dickie still going to come by today, or…" Olivia asked, re-focusing back on the reason they were all there talking about Dickie and Nikki.

"Yes, but I'm coming with him and I will sit in on the interview," Elliot said.

"El—"

"It's me, or it's an attorney Liv," Elliot said.

"Technically, that's Dickie's call," Alex said. Both Elliot and Olivia shot her a look that told her she wasn't helping.

"Ok, you can sit in the interview…if Dickie wants," Olivia said. "Rollins and Carisi will be conducting it."

Elliot nodded and before he turned to leave, Noah came running into Olivia's office, ready to eat.

"Noah, do you remember Elliot?" Olivia said, picking him up so he could greet her former partner.

Noah eyed him curiously. "Doggie?"

Elliot smiled. "Yes, we have a doggie at our house," he said. "The thing craps all over the back yard."

Olivia laughed. She had been to see Elliot shortly after her and Ed broke up and Noah had been mesmerized by the dog. She hadn't seen or talk to Elliot much in the past couple of years, but Kathleen was having a baby shower and Olivia wouldn't have missed that for anything.

"It bring your kid to work day?" Elliot joked.

"Um…" Olivia was trying to figure out how to respond without dropping the news that her and Alex were an item. There was too much going on for that conversation and she wasn't quite sure how he would respond.

"I brought him," Alex said. "Olivia needed some help this morning until her babysitter arrived." She was playing along, knowing full well Elliot didn't know, even if she wasn't thrilled about why Olivia hadn't told him.

Elliot laughed. "You? Taking care of a kid? Now that's something I didn't think I would ever see."

Alex gritted her teeth and Olivia knew the comment struck a nerve with her girlfriend. She whispered something to Noah, and he went back out to the squad room, this time to Fin.

"Anyway, it really is good to see you, El," Olivia said. "Though, I'm sorry like this. Hopefully we can clear all of this up this afternoon."

"Yeah, well, you better," he said, back to being focused on the reason for his visit. "Alex." He nodded and headed out of her office.

Olivia leaned back in her chair, relieved he was gone and was about to take a bit of food when she noticed the stare coming from Alex.

"Yes?" Olivia asked.

"You haven't told Elliot about us," Alex said, matter-of-factly.

"Alex…do we have to do this now?" Olivia said. "I just haven't talked to him much recently."

"I thought you all made up, re-connected after him suddenly leaving and not telling you?" Alex said.

"We did, but it's never been the same," she said. "We get together for big life events and stuff. The last time I saw him was Kathleen's baby shower, probably a few months or so before we started dating."

"So a year?"

"About a year, yeah," Olivia said. "Listen, when he found out Ed and I were dating, it…well, it put a bit of a strain. He wasn't crazy about it."

"Can you blame him?" Alex said. "I mean, Tucker made both of your lives hell for years."

"Ed was doing his job," Olivia said.

"He arrested you," Alex said.

"Alex, we've been through this and now is not the time," Olivia said. "He arrested me because he was doing his job and he apologized for it later."

"I know," Alex said. "I just saying, knowing Elliot, I can imagine he wouldn't take that news well. But, Liv…I'm not Tucker."

"No, you're not," Olivia said.

"So, why not tell Elliot? If not before, why not today? It was clear you were avoiding it," Alex said.

"It just wasn't the time," Olivia said. "There is just too much going on with this case for him to have to deal with that."

"Why would he need to deal with it?" Alex said.

"Look, the focus needs to be on Nikki and Nikki alone. And in his case, Dickie," Olivia said. "It's not time to catch up on personal lives."

"Fair enough," Alex said. "I'm going to take Noah and get going. You'll fill me in on all this stuff with Dickie tonight?"

"I promise," Olivia said. She got up to walk Alex to the door, kissing her on the cheek as the blonde left.

She sat back down to finish her lunch, dreaded the day she did have to tell have to tell Elliot about Alex.

He was confused about Tucker and genuinely didn't like the guy. With Alex, he wouldn't be confused, even if he liked Alex as a person, he had been crystal clear about what he thought about how Liv felt about their one-time ADA.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	29. Hurt

_A/N: Quick chapter today and I'll have another tonight, but I figured I'd get this one out now._

* * *

 **HURT**

"Are you going to tell me what the hell that was about today?"

Olivia was barely through the door, coming home from work when the sharp words were out of Alex's mouth. The blonde's arms were crossed and the sparkle in her blue eyes was gone.

Olivia set her keys down and locked up her gun before looking around for Noah. Alex saw Olivia's eyes looking around and knew why.

"Noah is napping," she said. "Lucy said he refused to nap earlier and was a handful today. I ended up coming back early to help her."

"You could have called me," Olivia said.

"Maybe I should have since you know, Elliot thinks I'm not _motherly_ enough," Alex said.

"Well, he's an idiot," Olivia said. "Who cares what he thinks?"

"You apparently do since you haven't told him about us for some reason," Alex snapped back.

Olivia gestured her head toward the couch for Alex to join her and talk. Alex, arms still crossed, moved slowly across the room to join Olivia. She sat at the opposite end of the couch.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I should have already told him. I should have told him today, maybe. I just…I mean, his kid is potentially a rapist. I don't think he cared to hear about how in love I am."

"Ok, fair enough, but why haven't you told him?" Alex said. "I mean, I know you're not close like you used to be, but it's Elliot. Wouldn't he want to know?"

"He would," Olivia said. "But…"

"But what?"

"Look, he didn't respond to Ed that well," Olivia said.

"So you said," Alex said. "Surely I rank higher than Ed Tucker in Elliot's eyes."

"Oh, you do, trust me," Olivia said. "But when it comes to who I date, Elliot gets…protective. In fact, I can't think of many people he's approved of."

"Brian?"

"Hell no," she said. "In fact, I think deep down, as much as he hated Ed, he thought we were a better match than me and Brian. He never thought Brian was mature enough for me."

"Well, we agree on that," Alex said. "So, I hope I'm more mature than Cassidy. I've never arrested you and hopefully have never made your life a living hell. So what's the problem?"

"Alex, he is…like a protective big brother," Olivia said. "He just…would caution me to…be careful."

"Be careful? With me?" Alex said, arms STILL crossed. "Jesus, I mean, I thought we all used to be friends. Maybe I completely misread everything."

"No, you didn't," Olivia said. "It's not about Elliot, really; it's about me."

"So, you're the reason Elliot doesn't like me?" Alex said.

"Do we have to rehash this?" Olivia said. "Look, it's old news. I'll call him tonight and tell him."

"What exactly are we rehashing?" Alex said.

"Ok, fine. Elliot will just…well, he will want me to not get my heart broken," Olivia said.

"And I'm going to break your heart? Is that what you think?" Alex said.

"No…I mean, I don't think so. I hope not," Olivia said.

"You hope not?" Alex said.

"Look, when you left…the first time…I was…it was hard on me," Olivia said. "And then when you didn't call for three years…."

"Liv…"

"No, I'm just explaining why I'm worried about Elliot," Olivia said. "I'm past that, but Elliot may not be. It was hard on me and Elliot was there. Then when you did come back, things were…different. You were different."

"Well, I was different," Alex said. "I think I had a pretty damn good reason."

"You did, I know that, but it still hurt me, Alex," Olivia said. "God, I was so in love with you and then you just show up on a crime scene, and act like nothing ever happened, like there was never anything between us."

"Technically, there wasn't," Alex said.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Olivia said. "We've both acknowledged that."

"Ok, you're right, but people can change," Alex said. "I mean, I've tried to work out of that place I was in."

"I know, and you did, but it was hard for a while," Olivia said. "I mean, Nikki's case…the first time, was hard on us."

"You requested a new ADA," Alex said flatly.

"I filled out a form that I never submitted…technically," Olivia said. "But then…I don't know, it was like a turning point for us. Things started to get better, or so I thought."

"You thought?"

"You left Alex. You left me…again," Olivia said.

"I left you because I thought whatever there may have been between us either never existed or was gone!" Alex said. "I mean, you made that abundantly clear by not having my back on Nikki's case and then requesting a new ADA!"

Olivia looked back toward Noah's room, hearing a noise and fearful they woke him. She spoke softer when she replied.

"You left...because of me?" Olivia said.

"I left because I cared about the cause, but I didn't see any reason for being here," Alex said. "You say me leaving was hard on you, well, being here with you, but not being able to tell you how I feel, believing you had moved on was hard on me. You broke my heart that day, Liv, at the crime scene."

Olivia took a sharp breath. They really had talked about all of this early on, but now…how they really felt was coming out, and it was hard to hear for both of them.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I didn't know."

"I know you didn't," Alex said. "And I didn't know how much I hurt you, either."

"I know," Olivia said. "And believe me Alex, I really am past that. I've moved on and I couldn't be more in love with you."

Alex smiled and finally uncrossed her arms.

"Look, Alex, I just was trying to explain to you about Elliot," Olivia said. "You know how he is, and I should stand up to him. God, it's been so long and I'm so much stronger since he left SVU. I don't know why I still struggle with that around him."

"Just please don't hide me, Liv," Alex said. "I want to be with you, but only if we can be together in front of anyone."

"I won't," Olivia said. "I'll call him tonight. He may still be in the city actually, as he and Dickie left SVU just before I did."

"How was the interview with Dickie?" Alex asked.

"Well, better than the last one I did with him years ago," Olivia said, rolling her eyes. Alex gave her a curious look.

"He asked me if I left slept with my partner," Olivia explained.

"Oh?" Alex said. "You didn't, right?"

Olivia's mouth dropped open until she saw a grin on Alex's face.

"I'll tell you what I told him," Olivia said. "Never."

"Well, I mean, you slept with Ed Tucker, so you never know," Alex laughed.

Olivia shook her head, also laughing. "Ok, can we not talk about Ed or Brian or Elliot anymore tonight, please?"

"Deal," Alex said. "But Dickie…do you think he could have done this?"

"No," Olivia said, shaking her head. "I mean, I know how hard Elliot and Kathy worked to instill consent and things like that into their children, especially the boys. But beyond that, he seemed genuinely surprised when Fin and I showed up last night, and that Nikki was attacked. Their relationship didn't end on great terms, but…I just don't see it."

"And his alibi?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, well, that's part of the problem," Olivia said. "We know what time he left work, but it still leaves open plenty of time since we don't have anyone to vouch that he was at home. I have Carisi and TARU looking at security videos between work and his apartment to see if we can get a timestamp somewhere, anywhere."

"But what about Nikki? I mean, you have any leads on her attacker? You can't spend your time trying to clear Dickie," Alex said.

"I know," Olivia said. "And, no, we don't. I mean, Sam Baylor is out of prison now and back in the area recently, so he would be a good suspect if he didn't have an alibi."

"What is his alibi?" Alex asked.

"He was at some family function," Olivia said. "We have several people that confirmed seeing him there, but as far as motive goes…"

"Don't forget he comes from a rather wealthy family, too," Alex said. "If it's his family vouching for him…"

"That's the problem, it's not just his family," Olivia said. "A doorman saw him go in and service staff saw him pretty close to when the attack took place. Trust me, I'd love to nail him for this, but, it may not have been possible."

"Well, he's a snake, so make sure your detectives know that," Alex said.

"They do," Olivia said.

* * *

 _A/N: Next up...conversation with Elliot._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	30. Bring Him In

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Glad you all are theorizing. Still more layers to go._

* * *

 **BRING HIM IN**

It wasn't how Olivia planned to spend her evening. She would have rather been with Noah and Alex, but after her tense conversation with Alex, the lieutenant found herself in a familiar place.

It was dark and drab. Her eyes scanned the room before she walked farther inside, scooting up on a wooden barstool that probably hadn't been replaced in the 80s.

"Can I get ya something?"

"I'll have what he's having," Olivia said.

"It's a double," the bartender said.

Olivia nodded and reached to hold a lowball glass as he poured the scotch. When he was done, she picked it up for a sip, then sat it down and look at the familiar face next to her.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper earlier, barging in like that," Elliot said after taking a drink.

"It's your kid," Olivia said. "If it had been Noah…well, let's just say I understand a parent's need to want to protect their child."

"He didn't do this, Liv," Elliot said.

"I believe that," Olivia said. "But…things are different now. I'm in charge, I have to…"

Elliot raised his hand. "I know, Liv. You probably shouldn't even be here, huh?"

"Probably not, but no one knows…except Alex," Olivia said.

She knew she needed to broach the Alex-subject, even if they had more pressing issues to figure out.

Elliot nodded and took another drink. "So, Cabot?"

"Cabot, what?" Olivia asked.

"Come on, Liv. You expect me to believe she's just randomly babysitting Noah?" Elliot said.

Olivia took a drink and looked away.

"Is it serious?" Elliot asked.

"It is," Olivia said.

"She's not leaving again is she?" Elliot asked.

"No," Olivia said, firmly. "She's not, Elliot. I love her. And she loves me."

Elliot looked over and a grin slipped out. "Well, you've been in love with her for years, Liv. And I really am happy for you and Alex. It's about time, actually. And she's easier to stomach than Tucker."

Olivia chuckled.

"I just…I know how much she hurt you and even if we're not as close as we used to be, I don't want you to ever go through that again," Elliot said.

"Thank you," Olivia said. "You're support means a lot, but I want you to know, I don't need it."

"You never did," Elliot said. "I never really understood the same-sex thing, but, hell, I figure if the two of you make each other happy, and can avoid killing each other, I can't imagine anyone better."

Olivia nodded. She finished her drink and pushed her glass forward. The bartender walked by and poured another round for both.

"Look, if Dickie is innocent – and I believe he is – then we'll figure that out," Olivia said. "Just make sure he keeps that Stabler temper in check in the meantime."

"If only I knew how," Elliot said. "You know, I've been better with mine in the last several years, but I just sound like a hypocrite when I try to tell him something about his temper. And he knows it."

"The joys of parenthood, huh?" Olivia said. "So…there isn't any part of you that thinks he could have done this? I mean, I know you're a dad, but you're also a cop, or at least still have your cop instincts."

"Liv…"

"Look, it's just me and you talking, El," Olivia said. "This goes nowhere."

"I really don't think he's capable," Elliot said. "Sure, he has a temper like I did when I was his age, and older. But, with his dates, his mom, his sisters, I've never seen him treat them with anything but respect, Liv. I know I'm biased, but…"

"I trust your instinct," Olivia said. "But we still have to do our job."

"I know."

#

 _Monday_

"Alright, everyone. This is an all-hand on-deck day. We are going to run through anyone who came in contact with Nikki on a regular basis. Delivery driver. Doorman. The guy that makes her sandwiches. Look for security videos around her apartment. Talk to anyone you can," Olivia said, instructing her squad. "I want to find this bastard."

"Understood, Lieu," Carisi said before turning to give instructions to some patrol officers.

"Rollins, can I see you?" Olivia said, motioning for the detective to come to her office.

Rollins followed and shut the office door behind her.

"I want you to look into Richard Stabler," Olivia said. "Dig into their relationship and any activity leading up to the attack."

"You thinking he did it now?" Rollins said.

"No, just the opposite," Olivia said. "I don't think he did it, but I also don't know if my judgement is clouded since I've known him since he was probably Noah's age."

"So, you want to make sure we cover all our bases with him in case something comes back on us?" Rollins asked.

"Exactly," she said. "If he's guilty, I want him prosecuted like we would anyone else. And I trust your instincts."

"And Sam Baylor?" Rollins said. "He still on our radar?"

"Definitely," Olivia said. "But Fin and I are going to pay him a visit today. See if we can shake him up. He has a good alibi, but…I don't trust him."

#

"Detective Benson. How good to see you again," Sam Baylor said when he saw Olivia and Fin come into his office.

"It's Lieutenant," she said flatly. "We just have a few more questions for you."

"Well, I already talked to your other detectives, but sure, if you need me to spell things out for you all," he said.

"Tell us again about the night Nikki was attacked," Fin said, ignore the snarky comment from Sam.

"What night was that again?" he said.

"Thursday night, early Friday morning," Olivia said. "The night of your family event."

"Oh, right," Baylor said. "My grandmother's 90th birthday."

"Your family had a bash well into the night for grandma's 90th?" Fin asked.

"Sure, why not? It's not like she'll have that many more all-nighters," Baylor said. "It was like a mini-family reunion. You know how it is."

"What time did you leave?" Fin asked.

"I didn't," Baylor said. "Are you trying to trip me up because I specifically told that pretty blonde detective that. It won't work because if you're telling the truth, you don't have to remember anything, right?"

The next half hour was back and forth with Sam Baylor. He'd answer questions, but not after giving a smart-ass answer. Unfortunately, though, his answers were consistent with what he told Rollins and Carisi. And his alibi was still air-tight. He had witnesses and again, provided names and phone numbers to contact them. He also told them to talk to his parole officer – a parole officer who said he'd been the model parolee.

" _If only all of them could be like Baylor," the parole officer told them._

At the end of the day, and after regrouping with the squad, no one except Dickie was sticking out as a potential suspect.

So far, TARU couldn't catch him on any cameras going back to his apartment right after work when he said he did. Worse yet, Rollins found a witness who thought they saw Dickie at a market that night in Nikki's neighborhood. The accounts of their relationship were not of a happy couple, at least not in the end.

"Should we go out for another interview?" Carisi asked. "Or bring him in?"

"Bring who in?" Barba said, entering the squad room. Olivia had kept him in the loop on the investigation and why she and Fin were trying to keep out of investigating Dickie.

"Dickie. He's at work right now," Olivia said. She paused to figure out where to go to his work and bring him in, or potentially look like she was playing favorites and waiting until morning.

Barba saw the look in Olivia's eyes and jumped in. "Why don't Rollins and Carisi catch him first thing in the morning? He's not a flight risk and doesn't know we know more than we did this weekend. He's been cooperative so far, right?"

"Yeah," Carisi said. "And surely, his dad being a former cop, knows how bad fleeing would be."

"I agree," Barba said. "And will take responsibility for that decision if it's questioned. If he were any other suspect, in this situation with only limited evidence, we'd wait to pick him up. He doesn't have a criminal history and Nikki is in a safe place."

Olivia nodded in agreement. She hated not taking the lead on one of her investigations, but she appreciated the support from her squad.

#

Sam Baylor pulled out his cell phone to send a text.

 _That detective, Benson, was here today. She needs to back off from harassing me._

#

Elliott's phone buzzed with a text message. He pulled it out and read the message from an unfamiliar number.

 _Get your kid an attorney and have 'em here first thing in the morning._

#

Olivia sat playing with Noah. Alex was at her own apartment tonight, trying to get caught up on work her first day back in the office.

 _Olivia: Want to go look at some apartments later this week?_

 _Alex: I don't know if I'll have time. I'm swamped._

 _Olivia: Ok….We're bringing Dickie in in the morning._

 _Alex: I'm sorry. How is Elliot going to react?_

 _Olivia: I don't know, but I think he'll be ok._

 _Alex: I hope so. You know how he can be._

 _Olivia: We'll see. Will I see you tomorrow?_

 _Alex: I don't know, Liv. I'm pretty busy with work._

 _Olivia: Ok. Goodnight. I love you._

 _Alex: You, too._

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	31. Suspect

_A/N: Hope you enjoy this one. Moving it along, and laying out some pieces of the puzzle. I love everyone's theories on the mystery part of who did it?_

* * *

 **SUSPECT**

Alex sat at her desk trying to focus on writing the motion in front of her. She couldn't stop thinking about Nikki Sherman, even if she hadn't been with SVU for years. The case just bothered her and she wasn't sure why. It could have been Dickie's possible involvement. It could have been how it was weighing on Olivia. It could have been how much she remembered not liking Sam Baylor. Or, it simply could have been just bringing up all those past feelings and hurts that surrounded that entire time period.

Whatever it was, it wasn't helping her focus on the task at hand. When someone knocked on her door, she looked up, almost relieved for the distraction.

"Come in," she shouted, sliding her laptop back and leaning back in her chair to stretch.

In walked Kaitlyn and Ellie. Alex wasn't entirely surprised, she knew they were in the city for a couple days this week, but they hadn't made plans.

"Alexandra, are we interrupting?" Ellie asked, seeing the paperwork stacked on Alex's desk.

"Yes, but it's a welcome interruption," Alex said. "Today is not the day for focus."

"I have a hard time believe Alexandra Cabot is ever unfocused," Kaitlyn said.

"Well, it's been an interesting few days," Alex said. "Anyway, enough about me. I didn't think you two were in town until tonight."

"We weren't supposed to be," Kaitlyn said, glaring over at Ellie. "But this one here managed to get an interview with the Manhattan DA's office for a bureau chief job. So, I figured I'd tag along early."

"Oh wow," Alex said. "White collar?"

"That's the one," Ellie said. "It's a long shot. I was surprised they even called. I mean, I love where I am, but I wouldn't mind a bit more challenge. Besides, small town politics is the worst."

"You think big city politics is any better?" Alex laughed. "Just asked Kaitlyn."

"Utica is no NYC, or even Buffalo," Ellie said. "But like I said, it's a long shot."

"I don't know, you've made quite a name for yourself," Alex said. "I'll see what I can find out and put in a word for you."

"I have no expectation of that," Ellie said. "Not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but I'm sure you have a lot of friends in the running."

"You'll figure out soon enough that the word 'friend' in the DA's office here is …. Well, let's say it's subjective," Alex said.

"Alex probably has some weight around here, too," Kaitlyn said. "Ellie didn't even want to mention it to you because she is too proud to ask for favors. But I'll ask for her. Please, put in a good word for her."

Ellie shook her head and rolled her eyes at Kaitlyn, clearly bashful about Kaitlyn's ask.

"I'm glad, too," Alex said. "What time is your interview?"

"Not until after lunch," Ellie said.

"Speaking of…you should join us," Kaitlyn said.

"Oh, well, I'm supposed to have lunch with Olivia today," Alex said. "She's had a challenging week."

"We don't want to impose," Ellie said.

"Of course we do," Kaitlyn said. "I mean, you all practically live together, right? You'll see her tonight."

"Well…" Alex said, thinking.

"If you need to have lunch with her, we understand," Ellie said. "Regardless of what Kaitlyn says. But, obviously, if you want to join us, Olivia would be welcome, too. That is unless she's still jealous of Kaitlyn."

Alex laughed as Kaitlyn rolled her eyes.

"She's not jealous," Alex said, smiling. "That will probably work. Let me just text her."

#

Half-an-hour later, the four women were sitting in a booth in a nearby diner. Olivia was the last to arrive and apologized as she slid in next to Alex. She made a point to kiss her on the cheek. Even if she wasn't "jealous" of Kaitlyn, she still wanted to make it clear she was a proud girlfriend.

"Nice to see you again Lt. Benson," Ellie said. "I hope you're not too upset about sharing Alex with us today."

"Not at all," Olivia said. "I'm just glad I could get free to meet you all."

"Alex said you've had a challenging week. New case?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah, and we brought my old partner's son in this morning for questioning as a suspect," Olivia said.

"Ouch," Kaitlyn said. "No professional courtesy there, huh?"

"Well, I know how you lawyers are," Olivia said. "I'm trying to stay as hands off as possible."

"Still, that must be tough," Ellie said. "You really think he did it?"

Olivia glanced over to Alex, who was quick to speak up.

"She's taking him seriously, but I've encouraged her to look beyond," Alex said. "The victim was one of the victims I had when I was in SVU."

"What?" Kaitlyn said. "She was assaulted twice?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Olivia said. "It's been several years, but we're hitting a lot of dead ends."

"Well, I hope you can clear your partner's son if he's innocent," Ellie said.

"If he is innocent, we will," Olivia said.

"I still have a bad feeling about her former attacker," Alex said.

"Who's that?" Kaitlyn said.

"Ah, I'd rather not put his name out there, since right now, he seems to have an air tight alibi," Olivia said. "Besides, it would be very ballsy to attack the same woman twice, years later."

"But not unheard of," Alex said. "Besides, he's kind of a prick."

"Yikes, sounds like you don't like him," Ellie said. "Maybe you should look into him."

"We are, with a fine-tooth comb," Olivia said. "But so far, nothing."

"I can't imagine doing the work you do as long as you've done it," Ellie said. "It takes a special kind of person. Alex makes you sound like a saint."

Olivia smiled and put her hand on Alex's hand.

"She is," Alex said.

"I agree," Kaitlyn said. "As someone who…has experienced a sexual assault, having someone caring makes a huge difference."

"Ok, well, I didn't come to lunch to hear how great I am," Olivia said. "I'm just doing my job, and hopefully the best I can, though I know I've made some mistakes along the way."

"Well, thank you," Ellie said.

#

Olivia was just cleaning up Noah's dinner when Alex came over. The blonde had gone home to change and get something clean for work the next day. She sat her bag down, went to hang up her suit for the next day, and rejoined Olivia back in the kitchen where she was washing dishes.

She slipped up behind her and wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist, planting a kissing on the side of her neck.

"Hey, babe. How was your day?" Alex asked.

"You mean besides watching my detective interrogate a kid I've known since he was Noah's age?" Olivia said. She took a deep breath and relaxed back into Alex.

"Anything come of it?" Alex said.

"Unfortunately, more reason to question the nature of their break-up and whether he was over it," Olivia said. "Not enough to arrest him yet, but…we just put in a request for a search warrant for his texts and social media. If there is anything there…"

"I'm sorry, Liv," Alex said. "I'm still hopeful. Anything on Sam Baylor?"

"The staff that night all vouches for him, as does his family, of course," Olivia said. "There is one woman who we haven't been able to get in touch with yet though. Fin is looking for her."

"How convenient," Alex said. She turned and poured them a glass of wine.

"There are some leftovers in the fridge," Olivia said. "I haven't eaten yet either."

Alex made them both a plate and they took it to the living room for a late dinner while Noah played with Olivia's iPad and sat next to Alex.

"So, I know this week has been hectic," Alex said. "I call the realtor and told them we wanted to postpone looking until at least next week. If that is ok?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I know you asked yesterday and I never got back to you."

"It's ok," Alex said. "Are you still sure?"

"Of course I am," Olivia said. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"I don't," Alex said. "I just want to make sure. I know it's a big step for you and Noah."

"We're ready," Olivia said. "And I promise to make time next week. Just pick some days for us."

#

Things went from bad to worse for Dickie the following day. He had been communicating with Nikki in the weeks leading up to her attack, begging her to take her back while still accusing her of cheating on him when they were together.

Olivia decided to bring Nikki in and get her input about if she felt threatened by Dickie and to see if anything else had come to mind.

"I just…I don't want to think it was Richard," Nikki said. "I mean, he did get a little clingy, but…do you really think it was him?"

Rollins took in a deep breath. "Well, we can't account for his whereabouts during the attack and we know he was harassing you over social media."

"I wouldn't call it harassing," Nikki said. "I mean, he wanted to get back together and I told him no. Then he'd get paranoid like when we were dating and ask if I cheated on him."

Rollins nodded, allowed her to continue to talk.

"I mean, I didn't cheat on him," Nikki said. "Although, I did go out with the guy he was jealous of a few times after we broke up. But I didn't cheat on him. We waited."

"Nikki, even if you had cheated, and I believe you when you say you didn't, it wouldn't give anyone the right to assault or harass you," Rollins said.

"I know. And I know I shouldn't be making excuses for Richard's behavior," Nikki said. "Him getting like this is part of the reason we broke up. I mean, he was never abusive, but he'd just get so angry with people, fly off the handle over little stuff. I just didn't want that in my life."

"And that is understandable," Rollins said. "Is there anything else you can remember about that night, or leading up to that night?"

"I remember feeling scared," Nikki said. "But, it also seemed, I don't know. I mean, I've obviously been with Richard before, sexually, since we dated and it just didn't _feel_ like him. I don't know if that makes sense."

"It does," Rollins said. "I know you didn't see your attacker. But what about smells, voice, anything like that? I know you initially said you didn't know, but…"

"The smell was…I don't know, like someone just got out of the shower," Nikki said. "And he didn't speak to me. Just some grunts. He may have said something when he left, but I…I'm sorry, I can't remember."

"You mentioned you dated a guy after Dickie, er, Richard," Rollins said. "How did that end?"

"Well, we went out like twice, maybe three times," Nikki said. "But, he moved to Colorado, so…unless he's back."

"We'll check it out," Rollins said.

"I'm sorry I can't be more helpful," Nikki said.

"You're doing great, Nikki," Rollins said. "Just call me anytime if you think of anything. Doesn't matter what time."

"I will," Nikki said.

"Are you still upstate with your aunt?" Rollins said.

"Yeah, in Buffalo," she said. "I just had to come down here to take care of some things at work. They're setting me up to work remotely."

"Good," Rollins said. "I'm glad they are being supportive."

"I'll call if I think of anything," Nikki said before standing to leave.

"Ok, remember, anytime," Rollins said. "And I'll keep you posted here."

#

"NYPD!" Fin sound, knocking loudly on yet another apartment door. He'd been trying to track down this lady all from the Baylor party all week.

Finally, a kid answered the door. "Grandma, police man is here." The kid just looked up at Fin without saying anything to him.

The woman came to the door and Fin thought looked vaguely like the description of the woman he was looking for.

"Ms. Valdez?" he asked gently, since the kid was still standing there.

She looked around nervously.

"Look, I just have some questions about a party you worked," he said. "I don't care about your status or anything else."

She nodded and shooed the young boy away. "Come in," she said quietly.

"Sam Baylor," Fin said, not wasting anytime. "You worked at a family event he attended recently? Someone's 90th birthday?"

"Mrs. Baylor, yes," the woman said.

"Mrs. Baylor. Ok," Fin said. "You work for her, or her son?"

"Oh, I work for Mrs. Baylor," Ms. Valdez said. "For many years. But I don't want her to have any problems. She doesn't know…"

Fin put up his hand. "Like I said, I don't care about your document status," he said. "So you must know the family pretty well."

"Yes sir," she said.

"What can you tell me about that night? Was Sam there?" Fin said.

"Yes, Mr. Sam was there," she answered.

"Was he there all night?" Fin said.

The woman became silent.

"You know, you've been a hard woman to find," Fin said. "Everyone else, I had no trouble tracking down, either at work or at home. But they seemed to have left you off the list. Why is that?"

"I don't know, sir," she said. "But Mr. Baylor, Mrs. Baylor's son, gave me two weeks of paid vacation."

"Is that normal?" Fin said. "I mean, did you request vacation?"

"No, I didn't," she said. "But Mrs. Baylor has been very generous to me over the years. I haven't had a vacation in a while, so I didn't question it when Mr. Baylor offered. And I get to spend more time with my grandson. His mother…is in jail."

"That's nice of her to offer," Fin said. "And your grandson is lucky. I have a grandchild, too. They make parenting worth it, huh?"

Ms. Valdez smiled. "Yes, they do."

"So, back to Sam," Fin said. "You said you saw him that night, but was he there all night? Did you see him, say, after 10 p.m.?"

She shook her head. "He stayed out the house, I believe," she said.

"What time did you leave?" Fin asked.

"Oh, I stayed the evening because it was so late," she said. "But I came home for a while to pick up my grandson. He was sick and throwing up that night."

"Your grandson?" Fin asked.

"Yes," she said. "He got sick in the middle of the night. I saw Sam about 3 a.m. I think. He was coming out of the bathroom."

"He was awake?" Fin said.

"Yes," she said.

"If he had left the house, would you have known?" Fin asked.

"Usually, unless he left while I went to get my grandson," she said.

"What time was that?" Fin said.

"About midnight," she said. "I came back around 1 a.m. Everyone seemed to be in bed."

"If someone had come in after you got back, would you have known?" Fin said.

"I…I don't know," she said. "Marco was very sick, so maybe not, but I usually am aware."

"So, it's possible Sam left while you were gone and came back and you didn't know it," Fin said.

"I guess, but…I don't think so," she said.

"Why not?" Fin asked.

"He's a good boy," she said. "I can't imagine he'd be out that late."

"The family tell you he's a registered sex offender?" Fin said.

"Mr. Sam? No, that can't be," she said.

"It's true," Fin said.

"Oh," she said.

"Let me ask you…when they gave you vacation, did they tell you not to talk to the police?" Fin asked. "I mean, we tried calling you and got a disconnected number."

"No, they didn't," she said. "But Mr. Baylor's sister-in-law gave me a new phone. She said they were upgrading their plans. Since I care for Mrs. Baylor the most, she wanted me to have an upgraded phone, too."

"That phone come with a new number?" Fin asked.

"Yes," she said. "But I only use it for Mrs. Baylor, so it made no matter to me."

"So, let me get this straight: they didn't tell you Sam Baylor was a sex offender, they randomly gave you vacation, and a new phone number?" Fin asked.

"Well, yes, but…" she said. "Look, I don't want to get fired. I don't know what you think Mr. Sam did, but I think you're wrong."

"Two more questions," Fin asked. "When you saw Sam, you know, before you left, what was he doing?"

"He was going to take a shower I think," she said. "He had a towel in his hand from the closet."

"And when you saw him at 3 a.m…" Fin said. "What was he wearing?"

"He was…well, he was in jeans and a t-shirt," she said.

"Shoes?" Fin said. She nodded yes. "So, he took a shower, then got fully dressed again in the middle of the night?"

Her mouth dropped open a little and she looked scared.

"Look, I won't bring you into this if I don't have to," he said. "But, we're talking about a young lady who was sexually assaulted. Possibly by Sam."

She shook her head. "I…She was raped?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said. "And I don't know if Sam did it, but she was the young lady he assaulted before."

"I can't believe it," she said.

"Are you willing to testify to what you told me, if it comes to that?" Fin said. "Your testimony is the only thing so far to indicate he may have left the house that night."

"Will it help this girl?" she said.

"It will," he said. "But we'll only ask if we really think it's him."

"Then I'll do it," she said. "I know what it's like…what she's been through. If Mr. Sam did that, then he deserves to be in jail."

"Even if it costs you your job?" Fin said.

"Detective, I've been in this country a long time. Mrs. Baylor has been good to me, but I've survived some hard times and I save every extra dollar I have so I can provide a good life for my grandson. If it costs me my job, then so be it. I will find another job, or work three if I have to."

Fin smiled. "Thank you, Ms. Valdez. Here's my card if you remember anything else."

#

 _Later that evening_

Alex was getting ready to join Olivia in bed. She was glad they finally had a break in the case, as Olivia had just filled her in on Fin's interview. They had also tracked down a few more employees to talk to again, specifically, anyone who worked overnight in the home, and had lot less certain answers than before.

Before Alex got into bed, she got a text message.

 _Cabot, we need to talk first thing in the morning. 6 a.m. Moe's Diner. Don't mention this to Olivia, yet._

Alex stared down at her phone for a moment before replying and agreeing.

"Who was that?" Olivia said.

"Huh?" Alex said. "Oh, just work."

"Everything ok?" Olivia said.

"As far as I know," Alex said. "But I know I don't want to think about work until tomorrow." She crawled into bed next to Olivia, rolling over and planting a kiss on the brunette.

"So, what is it you'd like to think about instead?" Olivia said, smirking.

Alex leaned down and whispered something into Olivia's ear that made the brunette blush for a moment, before reaching over to turn the lights out and embracing Alex.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	32. The Letter

_A/N: Let's do this...progressing quickly now. Just be patient with this chapter, and the story, before jumping to conclusions, please :-) And for those who asked, there is no cheating, not even a hint of it...so don't worry about that._

* * *

 **THE LETTER**

"What the hell is so important I had to be here at 6 a.m.?" Alex said when she arrived at the diner the following morning.

She slid into the both, giving a frosty stare to her companion.

Barba slid a manila envelope across the table.

"Open it and read it," he said.

Alex did as instructed, taking time out to read every word in the one page letter. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what it was.

"Where did you get this?" She asked.

"Anonymously delivered to me late last night," he said.

"This isn't even true though, what they're implying," she said.

She looked back down at the letter, reading it again word for word.

 _Not only are Lt. Olivia Benson and EADA Alexandra Cabot currently involved, but given their intimate relationship in the past years, it could create a serious conflict. Further, if this witch hunt continues, we may have to make this information known. As you know, relationships between detectives and prosecutors working together is frowned upon. Any case that Lt. Benson and Ms. Cabot worked together could be ripe for appeal if allegations of their past relationship be made public._

"Either way, this wouldn't be good for you or Liv," he said.

Alex sighed. She hated being bullied and blackmailed, especially when she and Olivia had nothing to hide. They were open about their relationship early on and hadn't worked cases together in years.

"This is blackmail," Alex said.

"I agree, but you, and Olivia, aren't the biggest fan of Sam Baylor, if it's him. I mean, it could be argued you are influencing the investigation because of the relationship," he said.

"That's ridiculous," Alex said. "Liv would never allow that and you know it."

"I do know that, but judges, and more importantly, the public, may not," he said.

"What are you suggesting?" She asked.

"I'm not suggesting anything, I just wanted you to know that people may be looking at you real soon," he said. "In the meantime, is there any way you can slow down the moving in process? Distance may be your friend. Or at least, maybe not be so public about it."

"Liv won't go for that," she said.

"Liv perhaps shouldn't know until we see who sent this letter and how serious they are," he said.

"Barba..."

"I"m not saying we keep it from her; I'm saying let me figure something out first," he said. "You know as well as I do how trying this case is for her. Between Dickie and now this, I don't know. And I know she'll fight me tooth and nail if I suggested she step back even more from it."

"Alex, this isn't just about you. From the outside looking in, it could look like she's trying to cover for her old partner's kid," he said. "I know she's not, but we need to be able to prove that. And we do that by nailing this bastard. Unfortunately, that means Liv can't touch it, outside of her normal duties. You know as well as I do, if she thinks you are being threatened, she will go full force on Sam Baylor, assuming he's behind this."

Alex looked at him, considering his argument.

"Please, just give me 3 days," he said.

"Two. By tomorrow night, if this isn't sorted, we have to tell her," Alex said.

"Ok, tomorrow night," Barba agreed. "I'm sorry about all of this. I know this could jeopardize your aspirations, too."

"I don't care about that," she said. "But we have to protect Liv."

#

"Hey, boss, how's the apartment hunting coming along? You and Alex see any yet?" Carisi asked Olivia at some point in the day when someone mentioned helping a friend move.

"Not yet," she said. "We were supposed to see some this afternoon, but Alex said she was tied up and would have to reschedule."

"She's not getting cold feet, is she?" Carisi joked. Rollins nudged him. "What? Obviously, it was a joke. I figure if anyone get cold feet, it'll be Lieu, here." Rollins nudged him again.

"Anyway, back to Nikki's case," Olivia said. "Where are we on Sam Baylor? And Dickie?"

"Unfortunately, Dickie still looks good for it," Carisi said. "But we do have a bit more reason to question Baylor's location that night and whether he was in the house. I mean, Fin talked to Valdez. I tried to talk to the guy at the front gate last night, but he just shut me down. Wouldn't even confirm what he already told us, which was that Sam never left the grounds. But a few cracks are starting to form in his story."

"Ok, well, for now, we operate as if Dickie is still our prime suspect unless or until something changes," she said.

"Don't we have enough to arrest him now?" Rollins asked. "I mean, not that I want to, but it may help us get to the truth quicker."

"Barba says no," Olivia said. "Based on what Nikki told you, he said he'd like us to have some kind of physical evidence putting him there, or at least nearby before we arrest him."

#

Back in her office, none of her conversation with Barba sat well with Alex. She couldn't figure out who would make allegations about her and Olivia being in a relationship years ago. It's not that they maybe didn't both want it, but they never crossed the line - and if they would have, they would have done it the proper way and disclosed it when it was time.

She also knew keeping it from Olivia, while maybe harmless enough, is not something she could do, regardless of what she told Barba. Alex made up her mind that she was going to do some digging, and if it was a dead end, she would tell Olivia later that night when they were both home. She had already cleared her schedule to go apartment hunting until that got scrapped.

Alex looked up when she heard a knocking on her door.

"Casey, what brings you by?" Alex asked.

"I can't just drop in on a friend?" Casey asked, coming in and shutting the door behind her.

"Sure, but I know that look in your eye. You want something," Alex said. She wasn't really in the mood for chit-chat as her mind was consumed by Olivia's case.

"Fine. Do you know about Ellie Campbell?" Casey said. "I'm on the selection committee that's choosing the Bureau Chief for white collar."

"Oh, Ellie is great, from my experience," Alex said. "In fact, I emailed Joann and told her what I knew about her. We were in leadership together. I've heard good things from Utica."

"I just heard through the grapevine you may know her," Casey said.

"The grapevine?" Alex said.

"Kaitlyn McCain," Casey said. "I met her a few years ago and bumped into her after interviews. She mentioned she and Ellie had gotten to know you during leadership."

Alex chuckled and shook her head. "Yeah, she's quite...a character. Not sure I'll ever really trust her, but I've learned she's mostly harmless I think."

"Hm," Casey said. "Ok. I get kind of an untrusting feeling, too."

"Well, you know what they say - keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Alex joked.

"And that makes us...?" Casey joked.

"Definitely friends," Alex said. "A friend I'm glad to have."

"And I am glad to have you as a friend, Alex," Casey said. She emphasized the word Alex, causing the word to kind of hang in Alex's mind, but she wasn't sure why.

"Can I get your advice on something, Case?" Alex said.

"Of course," Casey said.

Alex spent the next 15 minutes filing Casey in on the Nikki Sherman case and her conversation with Barba.

"But that's...that's not even accurate," Casey said. "I mean, are they just hoping someone will buy it, because trust me, anyone who has worked with SVU or with us at the DA's office would know you two never hooked up back then. I understand a lot of money was lost in the betting pools."

"So I've heard," Alex said.

"I mean, seriously, I think the official over/under on Olivia Benson and Alex Cabot was somewhere around your return to SVU. But then you went to the Congo and well, it killed it."

"Yeah, yeah," Alex said. "Anyway, focus on who would start this."

"Sam Baylor?" Casey said.

"Yes...but how would he know anything about mine and Olivia's past?" Alex said. "I've been trying to figure that out all day."

"True," Casey said. "Well, what about someone from the DA's office? Any more enemies around here maybe wanting to challenge you for the DA's seat?"

"I can't imagine even anyone here would do this," Alex said. "I mean, I know there are people who think I'm a bitch, but this? I don't know Casey. I like to think my work is at least respected."

"Politics is brutal though," Casey said. "But it would be hard to see someone from the DA's office, at least that I can think of, going after Olivia like that. Not to mention it would be a big black-eye for the DA's office if what they are threatening came to fruition with the appeals."

Alex sat quietly, still thinking.

"There is one more option," Casey said. "And it's worse than the last one."

"Go ahead," Alex said.

"Well, I mean, Stabler, or by virtue, Dickie, may know a little about your history with Olivia. At least enough details to make a believable story."

Alex stood up and ran her hands through her hair. "No, I just...Elliot would never do that to Liv."

"Elliot may not, but I mean, do we really know what kind of person Dickie is? If he actually raped Nikki, is he really the person Liv thinks he is?" Casey said.

"Ugh, Casey..." Alex said, not wanting to agree that she could be right.

#

Casey left and Alex went home to Olivia's apartment. Liv wasn't there yet, but Alex changed into something comfortable and prepared herself for the difficult conversation - not just the threats, but that her former partner's son may be behind it.

She sat playing a game with Noah until Olivia came home, who looked tired.

"Hey, after you change...we need to talk about something," Alex said.

Olivia smiled, gave Alex and Noah and kiss and nodded. She went to the bedroom to get change and returned to the living room.

"Hey, Noah, why don't you take mama's iPad and play your game at the kitchen table," Olivia said. "Then I'll make you dinner in a few minutes. Mama and Alex need to talk."

Noah nodded, grabbed the iPad and let Olivia unlock it before taking off to the table.

"So, today was interesting," Alex said.

"Tell me about it," Olivia said. "I know you wanted to talk to me, but I need to tell you something first, if that's ok."

"Um, ok, sure," Alex said. "Is everything ok?"

"Not really," Olivia said. She paused to take a breath, giving Alex a hint of nervousness.

"Rollins and Carisi are going to arrest Dickie as we speak," Olivia said. "Some security cameras in Nikki's neighborhood picked up Dickie. We haven't put him in the apartment, but he was within two blocks that night, on the other side of town from where he lives."

"Oh, Liv..." Alex said. "I'm sorry."

Olivia shook her head. "I'm not. I mean, I hate it for Elliot, but if Dickie did it...and let's face it, it's looking like he did, then I'm not sorry. It's one less rapist off the street."

"Well, I'm still sorry. I know it's been hard on you," Alex said. "And regardless of what happens, I love you."

"I know," Olivia said. "You said you had something to tell me?"

"Oh, right," Alex said. "Well, I'm probably about to make your night worse, but...it looks like it's possible Dickie may be planning his defense already."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	33. Arrest

_A/N: Ok, some pay-off._

* * *

 **ARREST**

"… _it looks like it's possible Dickie may be planning his defense already."_

Olivia took Alex's news about as well as Alex expected…which was not good.

She was torn. Angry. Dumbfounded. She didn't want to believe Dickie would do this, any of it, but it didn't look good.

More than anything, though, she was furious at anyone threatening Alex.

"What are we going to do?" Alex asked when Olivia finally stopped pacing and calmed down somewhat.

"We did nothing wrong, Alex," Olivia said.

"I know that, but…other people don't," Alex said.

"We ask Dickie," Olivia said.

"What?"

"We ask Dickie," Olivia said. "He's at the station right now. I'm going to go ask him flat out."

"Liv," Alex said.

"No, if he did this, any of it, I want to know," Olivia said.

"You're not going alone," Alex said. "I'm going with you."

"Alex, that's not a good idea," Olivia said.

"I don't care," Alex said. "You're not doing this alone, and it affects me as much as you."

"Fine. I'll call Lucy if you will text Amanda and tell her we're on our way," Olivia said. "Tell her to delay his interrogation until we get there."

#

An hour later, both women were at SVU with Olivia's squad all curious what was going on. Barba met them as well after Alex texted to let him know she told Olivia.

"I had a feeling you would cave," Barba said when he arrived. "Heck, I almost did earlier today."

Alex nodded and watched carefully as Olivia gave instruction to Rollins and Carisi about what to ask.

"This may help," Barba said, offering up the letter to Rollins.

The two detectives took the letter and went into the interrogation room to talk to Dickie, who was there with his attorney, Trevor Langan.

When Rollins and Carisi entered the room, Trevor stood up.

"My client has been waiting here over an hour," Trevor said. "On what grounds do you have to hold him?"

"Oh, we have enough evidence and we'll be arresting him for the rape of Nikki as soon as we're done here," Rollins said.

"What about DNA?" Trevor asked.

"There wasn't any, but we have Richard within two blocks of Nikki's apartment that night, well after he said he was at home," Carisi said.

"What's that?" Dickie asked, looking at the letter Rollins was holding.

"This? This is what is going to get you a coercion charge on top of rape," Rollins said.

"Let me see that," Trevor said, reaching for the letter and scanning it.

"Well?" Dickie asked.

"You think Richard wrote this?" Trevor said.

"We do," Rollins said.

"Wrote what?" Dickie said.

"They think you sent this letter a prior relationship, during Nikki's first case, between Benson and Alexandra," Trevor said.

"Who is Alexandra?" Dickie said, reaching for the letter to read it. "You mean Alex?"

Out in the viewing room, the realization on Alex that Dickie had likely never heard her full hit her. Her mouth dropped open and she pulled out her phone.

"Where are you going?" Olivia asked, seeing Alex shift to leave.

"I…I don't think it's Dickie," Alex said.

"Then who is it?" Barba asked.

"I…give me minute," Alex said. "Keep talking to him, I'll back in a few minutes."

Olivia and Barba shared a confused look, unsure what was going on.

Back inside the room, Rollins continued asking Dickie questions.

"So, you're saying you didn't know this?" Rollins asked. "I mean, you've known Benson most of your life. You may know who she was friends with in the past."

"I had no idea she was even gay," Dickie said. "In fact, I thought she was screwing my dad for the longest time."

Olivia cringed, and Barba looked over at her sympathetically.

"Richard has made it clear he has no knowledge of this letter," Trevor said. "And frankly, the assertion of a relationship is absurd. Anyone working in the court system here knows neither of them would risk that."

Olivia knocked on the window for Rollins and Carisi to come out. She wanted a break for a moment until she figured out what Alex was up to.

#

Alex ran to her office a block away as quickly as she could, nearly plowing straight into Casey on her way in.

"In a hurry?" Casey said.

"Kind of," Alex said. "I think we know who attacked Nikki and I think I can prove it. I just need to get into my office."

Casey moved out of the way and followed Alex into the office, where the blonde grabbed her computer and started scrolling through photos of her leadership program until she came to one of her with Kaitlyn and Ellie. She quickly sent it to her phone.

"You think…it was her?" Casey said. "Why?"

"I don't know yet," Alex said. "But something about my name. No one calls me Alexandra. Even here, with the exception of Petrosky and Liz, and neither of them are around. But in leadership, that's what people called because it was on my name tag the first day. I didn't correct them because, I don't know, it sounded more professional."

"But…what's the connection?" Casey asked. "I don't know, but I know someone who may. Come with me."

The two women went back to SVU, making record time with Casey barely able to keep up with Alex.

"Fin, where's Ms. Valdez?" Alex said. "Is she still here?"

"Yeah, she's just making a phone call," he said. "I just got a formal statement from her, just in case things didn't pan out with Dickie. What's going on?"

"I need to ask her a question," Alex said. She looked around to see where Ms. Valdez was and made her way over to the waiting area. She waited for the woman to end her phone call.

"Ms. Valdez, Ms. Cabot here has a question for you," Fin said. "If that's ok."

"Of course," she said.

"You've worked for the Baylor's for a long time," Alex said. She pulled out her phone and pulled up the photo she had just put on it. "Have you ever seen this woman?"

She used her finger to point to Kaitlyn.

"I'm afraid I haven't," Valdez said. "I'm sorry."

Alex let out a defeated breath. She was sure she was on to something, but now, she was back to square one.

"Ms. Ellie isn't around a lot," Ms. Valdez said.

"Wait? I thought you just said you had never seen her?" Casey asked.

"No, I've never seen the woman Ms. Cabot pointed to," Valdez said.

"Wait? You thought I was talking about Ellie?" Alex said, looking at Casey.

"Yeah, I mean, you said you didn't trust her when we talked about her job interview," Casey said.

"No, I didn't. I was talking about Kaitlyn," Alex said.

"I…I misunderstood that," Casey said. "I had a bad feeling about Ellie from the get. She was very two-faced."

"That's Ms. Ellie," Ms. Valdez said.

"So, how do you know Ellie?" Alex asked.

"She is Mrs. Baylor, Sam's mother, her sister. She's Sam's aunt. She's…not a very nice woman, at least to me," Ms. Valdez said. "She came to my house the other day. Told me how generous the Baylors had been to me. She does legal work for them sometimes."

"What exactly did she tell you?" Casey asked.

"Nothing, just reminded me all staff sign contracts about privacy, and whatnot," she said.

"What did you tell her?" Alex asked.

"I didn't tell her anything, but I called Mrs. Baylor, Sam's grandmother, and quit," Ms. Valdez said. "I don't want to be involved with a family like that. And I found a good job. Even though I will miss Mrs. Baylor."

"And Ellie knows about yours and Olivia's history?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, very sneakily and supportive, I may add," Alex said. "I can't believe I didn't see it. She was always so nice, especially compared to the brash Kaitlyn."

"Oh yes, Ms. Ellie will always say nice things in front of you," Ms. Valdez said. "She looks very innocent."

"Go tell Liv," Fin said. "I'll get an updated statement here. But it looks like maybe we need to pick up Baylor."

"Wait," Alex said. "Don't pick him up until Casey and I do something."

#

"Do you think this will work? Do think she'll actually admit to it?" Casey said.

"I don't know, but we'll try," Alex said.

They were waiting at a diner for Kaitlyn and Ellie, who had stuck around for a second interview that week.

"Hey ladies, good to see you," Kaitlyn said greeting them.

Alex and Casey smiled.

"What's the reason for celebrating?" Ellie asked. "This was an unexpected surprise, given how busy you've been this week, Alexandra."

"Oh, just finally excited Liv and I are moving in together and she is about to wrap her case," Alex said. "So, I'll have my girlfriend back."

"Oh, that's great," Kaitlyn said. "Of course, that means it'll be harder to pry you away from her now for our little excursions in the city. Especially if Ellie ends up getting this job."

"So…you said Lt. Benson wrapped up the case?" Ellie said. "Did she find Nikki's attacker?"

"She did," Alex said. "A little prick by the name Sam Baylor. He was her high school attacker."

Casey and Alex noticed Ellie moving around uncomfortably.

"Oh? What about your partner's son? I thought he was your prime suspect," Ellie questioned.

"Well, turns out, it wasn't him," Casey said. "SVU has Baylor dead to rights. Even has a witness that blows his alibi."

"Wow. Who was the witness?" Ellie asked.

"Why all the questions, Ellie?" Kaitlyn said, getting impatient with case talk. "They got the asshole."

"I'm just asking. I'm curious," Ellie said.

"A now-former employee. Long-term employee actually," Alex said.

"Yeah, and can you believe the family sent some goon to subtly threaten her?" Casey said, eyes narrowing in on Ellie.

Kaitlyn took notice and began to look around at the ice-cold states between her dinner companions.

"What's going on?" Kaitlyn asked. "I'm missing something."

"Perhaps Ellie should tell you what's going on," Alex said. "Or maybe you're in on it, too."

"In on what?" Kaitlyn said. "What is going on?"

"Tell me, Ellie, how did you know the victim's name?" Alex asked. "I know Olivia didn't tell you when we talked about it. She's real careful about that kind of stuff."

"Are you? Are you saying …. Ellie, did you have something to do with this?" Kaitlyn said.

"The biggest question is why? What did I ever do to you?" Alex said.

"Not me," Ellie finally said. "It's what you did to Sam."

"What I did to Sam?" Alex said. "You mean like how I forced him to sexually assault Nikki…twice?"

"He didn't do that," Ellie said. "Those girls made it up and you allowed them to do it to save your ass from the State Bar."

"I'm afraid they didn't make it up," Alex said.

"Do you have any idea what they did to him in prison?" Ellie said. "What you said would happen to him?"

Alex's mouth dropped and her face fell. She remembered. She regretted those words more than nearly any she had spoken as an ADA. _You'll feel exactly what Nikki felt when you raped her on the bathroom floor._ Oh, they came out so smugly. Of course, she never wanted Sam, or anyone, to experience that…but after the week she'd had, she couldn't control the words as his smug little face turned to surprise learning he was going to prison.

"I…I shouldn't have said those things," Alex said. "And I didn't mean them, but it doesn't change what Sam did to Nikki. I am truly sorry if something happened to him, though."

"Oh my God, Ellie, what the fuck?" Kaitlyn said. "And here I thought your sole interest in Alex was to use her connection to get a job in the DA's office. You mean all that was just…for what? Revenge?"

"Did you and Sam conspire to rape Nikki this time? I mean, how long have you planned it?" Alex said.

"Of course not," Ellie said. "I'd never do that and I was horrified when I realized Sammy may be involved."

"Then why the letter? What was this all about?" Alex said. "I met you before Nikki was assaulted this time."

"I already knew about you, and already knew about you and Benson. I did my homework," Ellie finally admitted. "I had planned to use the information against you, either to file a suit to get Sam's conviction overturned or in the election for the DA's seat."

"You thought you were gonna win an election for DA in NYC, already?" Kaitlyn said, almost laughing.

"You have no idea how far my money and power goes," Ellie said. "Which is why I'm not worried about this little conversation."

"So, why bring Nikki into it?" Alex said, still focused on why.

"I don't know," Ellie said. "You'll have to ask Sam, if he even did it."

"He did it," Casey said. "You know he did it."

"So when he became a suspect, you decided to cash in on your fairy-tale about me and Liv," Alex said.

"Fairytale?" Ellie said. "It sounds to me like you and 'Liv' were pretty involved back then."

"We never crossed a line," Alex said firmly.

"And who will back that up?" Ellie said. "Casey? Casey who told Kaitlyn how she was sure the two of you had been dating when she took over for you after you 'died'?"

"What the hell?" Kaitlyn and Casey both yelled.

"You kept asking questions, digging about Alexandra," Kaitlyn said.

"And Olivia had just lost her best friend. Having feelings for someone doesn't constitute a relationship," Casey said, then glared at Kaitlyn. "I can't believe you told her that."

"I…Yeah, I didn't realize she was a psycho bitch," Kaitlyn said.

"All I'm saying is there is enough people who speculated, I'm sure of it," Ellie said. "Either way, it'll put doubts in people's mind, and a jury."

"I'm done with this," Alex said. "Casey, let's go."

"Yeah, I'm going with you," Kaitlyn said. "Ellie, you can get your own cab."

"Yeah, I don't think she'll be needed a cab," Fin said, walking up with a set of handcuffs. "We have a personal escort for her."

"Kaitlyn, call my assistant Marco and have him call my attorney," Ellie said.

"Yeah…that's not going to happen," Kaitlyn said.

"You get Sam?" Alex asked, looking at Fin.

"We did," he said. "Liv just picked him up. He's in custody and Barba is getting all the search warrants we need."

"And Dickie?" Casey asked. "Why was he in Nikki's neighborhood that night?"

"Weed," Fin said. "He was visiting his dealer. I guess when he and Nikki broke up, he kept the same guy he used in her neighborhood. He was afraid to tell us that because he was wanting to go back into the Army."

Alex rolled her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. "Liv still at the station?"

Fin shook his head. "Right now, probably, but I insisted she head home. You should meet her there."

Fin left with Ellie and a patrol officer, headed back to SVU to book her. Alex said goodbye to Casey and Kaitlyn and headed home to meet Olivia.

"So, you got plans tonight?" Kaitlyn asked Casey, raising her eyebrows.

"This wasn't exciting enough for you?" Casey laughed.

"I suppose I have to go back to Buffalo tomorrow now," Kaitlyn said. "You could show me around town."

"Didn't you and your girlfriend just get back together?" Casey said.

"Yes…and? I'm still allowed to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman," Kaitlyn said.

"You know I'm not gay, right?" Casey said.

"Eh, give me a few hours and we'll see," Kaitlyn said, laughing.

Casey laughed. "No way. You're on your own tonight."

Kaitlyn smiled and shrugged before the two of them left…separately.

* * *

 _A/N: We'll get to Liv coming home and her and Alex having some time to reconnect after the stressful case. Hope you enjoyed the mystery arc ... even if it didn't go as smoothly as I hoped. Up next, some time for Liv and Alex together and moving in._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	34. Couch

_A/N: A little gift for you all._

* * *

 **COUCH**

"I'm so glad you're home."

Olivia made it home about 45 minutes after Alex, and she looked worse for the wear.

"I'm glad to be home," Olivia said. "And I'm glad to be home." She placed her keys on the table by the door, then locked up her gun.

"Noah asleep?" she asked, looking around.

"For hours, apparently," Alex said. "Lucy said he was out like a light."

The blonde got up from the couch and walked over to Olivia, embracing her in a hug.

"I'm so sorry you got dragged into this," Alex said.

Olivia shook her head. "It's not your fault. It was Sam's fault, and well, Ellie's for dragging you into it."

"I know, but…if I hadn't been so smug with Baylor back then…" Alex said, walking to the kitchen to grab the wine and glasses she had sat out for when Olivia got home.

"Al, you can't blame yourself for that," Olivia said. "We've all said things that, looking-back, are a little cringe-worthy now. It doesn't excuse it, but don't forget Sam Baylor raped Nikki – twice. And his aunt attempted to blackmail you and me."

"You're right," Alex said. "And Nikki is the real victim here. God, I can't believe she had to go through this again." She poured them a glass and Olivia followed her back to the couch.

"You know, when I called to tell her, she told me she had a hunch it was Sam, but didn't want to sound crazy," Olivia said. "She figured the likelihood of him raping her twice was low – especially after all this time. And to be honest, it wouldn't have really changed our investigation."

"How's Dickie? And Elliot and Kathy?" Alex asked.

"Dickie is…pissed off at the whole situation," Olivia said. "Elliot just told me 'I told you so,' but said he did understand we had to go with what evidence we had. And Kathy, I think she's just happy to not have to cry herself to sleep. I guess the whole ordeal was hard on her, too."

Alex shook her head. "Think of all of the lives Sam and Ellie disrupted," she said. "There is a special place in hell for those people."

Olivia sat her wine glass down and scooted closer to Alex, putting her hand on Alex's leg, which was folded up on the couch.

"Well, they could have done a lot more damage if you hadn't figured out it was Ellie," Olivia said.

"It was blind luck, really," Alex said. "If I'd have even tried to explain it to anyone, it wouldn't have even made sense."

Olivia reached and took Alex's wine from her. "Well, blind luck or brilliant, Nikki's real attacker confessed and is behind bars and the consequences for Ellie should at least cost her her law license and maybe some jail time."

"She won't go to jail, but she will get disbarred," Alex said. "Trust me, she has enough money and can call in enough favors to get probation at most."

"The point is, it's over," Olivia said. "Nikki can begin recovery. Dickie was cleared. And you and I don't have to worry about being blackmailed over something that didn't happen – but probably should have."

Alex smiled and Olivia moved both her hands to the blonde's face. "I love you, Alex Cabot. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you – starting with finding us a new apartment next week."

Olivia leaned forward and gently kissed Alex, slowly opening her mouth and sliding her tongue between Alex's lips. As intensity of the kiss grew, Olivia slowly laid Alex back on the couch and positioned herself between Alex's legs.

"Mmm, Liv, I've missed you so much. Your body against mine. Your lips," Alex groaned, letting her hands slide up under the back of Olivia's shirt. The intensity, the stress, the tension, all of it had been building and it showed in the bedroom – the few nights they'd even had together since Alex returned from Albany.

Tonight was different. Everything that was important was clear and the monsters chasing them, in person and in their heads, were dead.

"I've missed you, too," Olivia said. She raised up, and pushed Alex's yoga pants down, then moved so Alex could sit up and remove her t-shirt.

Once done, Olivia moved back on top of Alex, lips immediately attacking the blonde's neck.

"You said Noah was fast asleep, right?" Olivia mumbled into Alex's shoulder, as her mouth found its way down to the blonde's breast.

"Like a light," Alex said, reaching to pull Olivia's shirt off, then unhook her bra.

When Olivia moved back down, she immediately latched her mouth onto Alex's breast while her left hand caressed the other one. Her tongue swirled, then flicked the tip of Alex's nipple – she knew how it drove Alex crazy.

"God, Liv, I'm already so wet," Alex said. "I've been thinking about this ever since I got home."

Olivia slid her hand down between Alex's legs, rubbing first on the outside of Alex's panties. _Yep, she's wet._ Olivia looked up and smirked at Alex, who didn't look amused with Olivia's teasing.

As Olivia slid in one finger, her lips crashed against Alex's…prodding her mouth as she thrusted inside the blonde with one, then two fingers. She missed Alex. She missed how she felt. She missed her noises, her soft skin, the way she dug her fingers into her back when she needed more.

"Fuck, Liv, how are you so good at that," Alex panted, as she wrapped her legs around the brunette's legs and tilted her head back. Olivia always knew just the ways to touch her. Every move inside her, the way her hands knew just the spots to touch and how to touch them. The way the palm of her hand rubbed her clit. The tandem of her tongue and her fingers.

Olivia could tell Alex was getting more tense, slowly building toward orgasm, and knew exactly what she needed. She started to move down, to put her mouth on Alex's core, but Alex stopped her.

"Use your hands. I need you here, looking at me," Alex said. She wanted the intimacy of them being face to face, as much as she loved Olivia's tongue between her legs.

Olivia slid her fingers up to Alex's clit, stroking back and forth between her opening and her bud. She kept going as Alex's breathing staggered and became sharp, the moans increasing in number and volume. At this point, she didn't even care if they woke up Noah.

"Ah..Liv…just…like…that…" Alex begged when Olivia touched her just the way she wanted, the way she needed. Other nights, Olivia may have teased her a little more, let her build up a little more, but they both needed this. Olivia was just as worked up as Alex was and knew it would only take one touch from the blonde for her to explode.

Alex opened her eyes to see Olivia watching her with asking eyes, wanting to know if she was ready. Without a word, Alex barely nodded and Olivia knew. She let her left hand grasp the back of Alex's head and neck, and then gave Alex what she wanted. Working her fingers faster, circling, until there was no stopping.

Alex's head tilt back, but Olivia's arm held her steady, watching as Alex's eyes rolled back and her body began to convulse under her. Alex screamed. Loudly. Loud enough Olivia wondered for a nilla-second if the neighbors heard, and knowing Noah probably did. But she didn't care, and Noah, if he heard, didn't leave his room.

"Yesssss, Liv, Liv, Liv!"

Olivia only stopped when Alex stopped, holding the blonde as her breathing steadied and heartrate slowed. They were both sweating and Olivia laid her head down on Alex's chest. They stayed that way without a word for nearly 10 minutes, Alex's arms wrapped tightly around Olivia on top of her.

Olivia finally looked up and Alex pushed her hair out of her face and wiped away some of the sweat. Olivia slid up just enough to place a kiss on Alex's mouth.

"I love you," Olivia said.

"I love you," Alex said. "I'm sorry I was loud."

"I'm not," Olivia said. "God, Alex…I love the way you feel and sound when you come."

Alex gave a sheepish smile, slightly embarrassed by Olivia's words. "Hey, I was thinking…maybe we could take tomorrow off. Get a head start on the weekend and head out to the beach with Noah. We could both use some time away."

"I love that idea," Olivia said. "And I already told the squad I wouldn't be in tomorrow. I may have to be available so we'll have to take two cars, but I think we all need it."

"Then apartments next week?" Alex said.

"Apartments next week," Olivia said. "But now…sleep."

"Oh, no…we're not sleeping yet," Alex said. "Once I get you in the bedroom, I'm gonna see if I can make you scream louder than you did me."

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	35. Moving Day

_A/N: Ok, sorry for the delay. Work has been busy and this weekend has been, well, distracting because of the horrible stuff going on in Virginia. But a light, sexy chapter for you._

* * *

 **MOVING DAY**

Six weeks later, Olivia and Alex had selected an apartment and were ready to move — neither of them wanting to waste a moment being apart anymore.

"You need anything else, Liv?" a sweaty Carisi asked once he brought up the last box. He and Fin volunteered their day to help Olivia and Alex move while Noah spent the day with Amanda and Jessie.

"No, but you don't have to run off," Olivia said. "I planned to pay you and feed you today."

"Not a chance I'm letting you pay me," Carisi said.

"And I have a thing with Ken and Alejandro later," Fin said.

"Raincheck on dinner then? When we're all set up?" Olivia said, giving them a look like she wanted to give them something.

"We'll take you up on that," Fin said.

"Well, thank you," Olivia said. "I don't know what we'd have done without you. Well, actually, I do. Alex would have just paid someone, but I trust you all more. I really wish you'd let us—"

"Stop it, Liv," Fin said. "We're not taking your's or Alex's money.

"Ok," Olivia said, finally giving in. She looked around at the boxes scattered throughout the living room. "There is less than I thought. I was worried about how much stuff Alex had."

Fin give Carisi a look, whose eyes widened. "Um, yeah, about that, Liv…" Fin said. "You haven't seen the back bedroom yet, have you?"

"What?" Olivia said, turning around to look toward the back bedroom, but the door was closed.

About that time, Alex came in the door, carrying yet another box she went to retrieve from her apartment. Carisi rushed over to take it from her and sat it down in an open spot.

"On that note, we better go," Fin said, grabbing Carisi to rush him out. "We'll see you later, Alex."

With that, both men were gone and Alex was left trying to figure out what was going on.

"They're leaving so soon?" Alex said. "I thought we were going to take them to dinner."

"Fin had some place to be so I offered a raincheck for when we get settled in," Olivia said.

"Did they let you pay them?" Alex said.

Olivia shook her head. "I told you they wouldn't, but I'll figure out a way to make it up to them."

"Maybe I can drop a few dinners off when you all are working late," Alex said, walking over to give Olivia a kiss. "And we'll have them all over for dinner, too."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her tight. Alex relaxed into her and leaned forward for a kiss. Right as her lips was about to touch Olivia's, the brunette stopped her with her finger.

"So, tell me about this back bedroom," Olivia said.

Alex's eyes grew wide. "It's not _that_ much stuff…" she said, trailing off and looking toward the room to see how big of truth stretching it was.

Olivia raised her eye brows and tilted her head down.

"Ok, maybe it is more than we talked about, but Livvvv, I have a lot of … stuff," Alex argued.

"Stuff?" Olivia asked curiously, releasing Alex from her arms and following the blonde to the bedroom.

When Alex opened the door all the way, displaying boxes filling the room, and stacked, Olivia's mouth dropped open.

"Alex Cabot, what in the world?" Olivia said. "You said a 'few more boxes' this morning. This room wasn't even half full then."

"I…I mean…Look, it's important stuff," Alex said.

"Like what?"

"My shoes. And notebooks. And…I don't know. Stuff," Alex said.

"Wow," Olivia said. "I'm glad I talked us into the bigger of the two apartments we were considering. Of course, I was thinking more about the additional stuff Noah will undoubtedly need as he gets older."

"We'll purge. I'll purge, I mean," Alex said.

"Ok, let's start now," Olivia said.

"What?!" Alex said.

"You said we could purge," Olivia said. "Let's start now. There's no point in making room for this stuff if you're not going to keep it. And Amanda has Noah all evening."

"Baby, now?" Alex said, sitting down on a box and taking Olivia's hands. "Isn't there _other_ things you're rather be doing since we're without Noah tonight?" Alex gave the brunette a smirk and look up at her with her big blue eyes, pleading.

"Al, I'd rather do it while we're already sweaty," Olivia said. "That way we have enough time to take things to the charity shop before dark, then shower and go out for dinner."

"I can think of other things that would be fun to do while we're hot and sweaty," Alex said, this time leaving out any subtleness of what she wanted. She reached around and hooked her fingers through Olivia's belt loop, pulling her closer so Olivia was standing between her knees.

Once Olivia was close enough, Alex took a free hand and ran it through her hair, making sure to tilt her head and neck back, giving Olivia a good view since Alex was wearing a low-cut V-neck t-shirt.

"I mean, we could take a shower now…together…then unpack a few thing and head to dinner," Alex said. She made sure to keep on hand firmly placed on the small of Olivia's back, sliding her hand under her t-shirt.

Olivia sighed and Alex stood up, pressing her body right against Olivia's.

"I mean, I just thought …we're going to be busy getting settled in over the next week…" Alex pressed her lips Olivia's neck. "And Noah will be here…." She kissed the other side of Olivia's neck. "I mean, it is our first apartment together…we should…break it in, shouldn't we?"

This time, she went straight for the brunette's mouth, surprising her with a hard kiss, sliding her tongue in forcefully. Before Alex could pulled back to tease Olivia more, the Lieutenant grabbed the blonde, picked her up and carried her to the bathroom.

Before Alex knew what happened, they were both feverishly undressing in between kissing and before Olivia backed her into the shower against the wall. While her lips were pressed against Alex's, her left hand was turning the water on – first freezing cold, then steaming, then just the right temperature – not that it mattered.

"I take it you liked my idea," Alex mustered out when Olivia's mouth moved down to her neck and she slid her hand down the blonde's thigh.

"You knew exactly what you were fucking doing," Olivia groaned.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alex breathed. "But, God, Liv, I need you so much right now."

That was all Olivia needed before she dropped to her knees and took Alex's lower lips in her mouth, letting her tongue run between the blonde's leg. Her fingers dug into Alex's hips and the blonde tangled her fingers in Olivia's hair, tilting her head back against the wall.

"Liv…so good…fuck…."

Alex came and came hard, knees buckling beneath her and Olivia holding her up.

"God, I love you," Alex said once Olivia was upright again, arms around each other as the water shot down on them. "And I think I owe you…"

After a moment of catching their breath, Alex turned Olivia around, pushing her against the back wall and sliding a finger inside the brunette, knowing Olivia was already wet.

"Alex…ah…" Olivia began to moan as Alex thrusted harder insider her, then bit down ever so gently on Olivia's shoulder. "Fuck…"

"That's what I'm doing," Alex said, smirking before taking Olivia's ear in her mouth and pulling on it, knowing it drove the brunette wild.

"God, Al, you … feel…so…good…" Oliva moaned, her fingers digging into Alex's back, and sliding them down to the blonde's ass.

Alex slid her fingers up to Olivia's clit, quickly stroking, knowing her lover needed to come and come quickly.

"Jesus, Alex," Olivia nearly yelled.

"Too much?" Alex wasn't sure if it was a good Jesus or bad Jesus.

"Don't you dare fucking stop," Olivia said.

Alex felt Olivia's knees start to buckle and she picked up the pace. Olivia held on to Alex, partly to be closer, partly to keep herself upright.

"Ahhhhh! Alex!" Olivia took a sharp breath before letting out one last yelp and collapsing against Alex.

Alex smiled and pushed Olivia's wet hair out of her face, then gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I love you," Olivia said.

"I love you, too," Alex said. "Now, how about we wash up, go get some dinner to get some energy back and christen that new King size bed of ours?"

"I think…I love your ideas," Olivia said.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	36. Ice Cream

_A/N: Rushing to get this out before work. Light and easy. I think we all need that right now._

* * *

 **ICE CREAM**

"Can we have ice cream?"

The big brown eyes - not too different from Olivia's - stared up longingly at Alex as the small boy held her hand.

Alex stopped and bend down to Noah's level.

"Buddy, we shared that big brownie at lunch today before we went to the park," she said gently. "I don't know if your mom would want you to have all that sugar today."

"Yes, she would," Noah said, matter-of-factly and Alex chuckled at his confidence.

"How about we stop and buy some ice cream and you can have some tomorrow? I'll make use ice cream sundaes on Sunday," Alex said, mildly proud of herself for her cheesy joke that went over Noah's head.

Noah hung his head then looked up again, this time, his eyes seemingly even bigger.

"Pleasssse, Lexxxxxx?" he said.

That was it. Alex was putty in his hands and she knew it. That same look worked for Olivia on Alex and now here was Noah, using it to his advantage.

"Ok, fine," Alex said. "You did run around a lot today. But just a small cone, ok?

"Ok!" Noah claimed, jumping with a fist pump in victory – a fist that went straight into Alex's chin. Noah gave a surprised, scared look until Alex smiled at him.

"It's ok, Noah," Alex said. "I'm ok."

"Ice cream'll make it feel better," Noah said, grinning.

Alex laughed again. "You're probably right. Let's go get some ice cream."

Inside the ice cream shop, Alex got their ice cream cones and they found a seat in a booth. Noah chose the superman ice cream and Alex went with the mint chocolate chip. Alex soon realized she should have gotten Noah's ice cream in a cup. His face was quickly covered in blue, red, and yellow from the ice cream.

Alex's instincts were to immediate clean him, but since he was still eating, she decided to let him finish and enjoy it, even though every lick around the cone meant that much more on his face.

"How are you liking your room?" Alex asked. She knew all the chaos with moving couldn't have been easy on him and was probably a little bit confusing. And, even though he was used to Alex spending the night often, they all lived together now, so she wondered how he was feeling about it.

"I like that my room is bigger, but I miss my old room," Noah said. "But I like my new car bed!"

"I'm sure you do miss the old room," Alex said.

"Do you miss your house?" Noah asked, sweetly.

"Not too much," Alex said. "I sometimes miss knowing where everything is."

"Mommy says everything has place," Noah said, mimicking Olivia's words about putting his toys and things away each night.

"I know she does," Alex said, grinning. "She tells me the same thing when I leave my shoes in front of the closet."

"Mommy says you have too many shoes," Noah giggled.

Alex rolled her eyes and laughed. "Nonsense. You can never have too many shoes," she said.

Noah laughed and returned to his ice cream. Alex watched him carefully, wondering how long it would take before his entire body was blue, red, and yellow.

"How do you feel about me living with you all the time now?" Alex asked carefully.

Noah shrugged. "It's ok," he said. Alex's face fell a little in disappointment before he continued talking. "When Mommy is busy, at least I have you to play with. I like that."

Alex smiled.

"And I don't have to share my bathroom with girls!" he said, taking Alex by surprise.

"What do you know about having to share your bathroom with girls?" Alex mused.

"My friend from pre-school said his sister takes forever in the bathroom," Noah said. "He said he peed his pants cause of her."

Alex giggled. She couldn't imagine what Noah and his friend were talking about at school that led to that conversation.

"Am I going to have a sister?" Noah asked.

Alex's mouth dropped open. Certainly both her and Olivia were past the typical age to have children. They had also decided given their ages, job demands, and being content with Noah, they weren't specifically planning more children at this stage in their lives.

But still, the question caught Alex off guard, mostly because she wasn't sure they'd ever discussed whether Noah wanted siblings.

"I don't know," Alex said. "Do you want a sister or brother?"

Noah thought for a minute then spoke.

"Not really," Noah said. "I like having you and mommy all to myself."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, even if it showed Noah's mildly selfish side. But he was 4-years-old, and it was to be expected.

"Well, you don't need to worry about it right now," Alex said. "If me and your mom ever wanted a brother or sister for you, we'd let you know and talk to you first."

"Ok," Noah said. He finally put the last bite of his ice cream cone in his mouth and Alex wasted no time grabbing napkins and moving to his side of the booth to clean him up.

"Come here," she said, then dipped the napkin her water and started wiping his face. Noah pulled away at every turn.

"Let's get your hands now," she said. Noah held them out easier than his face.

Even though his shirt was still sticky and covered in ice cream, his face and hands were mostly clean.

#

Olivia was cleaning the kitchen when Alex and Noah returned home from their Saturday afternoon excursion. She hadn't been feeling well earlier, so stayed home to do some paperwork and few things around the still-new apartment.

"Hey! Did you all have a fun afternoon?" Olivia asked when they came through the door.

Noah immediate ran to Olivia to give her a hug but before she reached down, she heard Alex's voice.

"I wouldn't do that…" Alex said, nodding down at Noah's shirt.

Olivia looked down and saw the mess her boy had made, keeping him at arm's length to instead pat him on the back.

"Honey, why don't you go get out of those clothes and I'll give you a bath," Olivia said. "It seems like you and Alex had a lot of fun today."

"It was da best!" Noah said. "We had ice cream AND a brownie!"

Olivia laughed. "I see that," she said. "Go on and get that shirt off, pick out of PJs and I'll meet you in your bedroom."

Noah ran off and Alex sat down her bag and walked into the kitchen to greet Olivia with a hug.

"Are you sure you're not covered in ice cream, too?" Olivia teased, checking her over before embracing her.

"I can be if you want," Alex smirked and gave Olivia a kiss.

"Maybe later," Olivia blushed. "But what's this about a brownie and ice cream?"

Alex groaned and threw her head back. "Liv…those eyes. He may not be your blood, but he has your puppy dog eyes down pat. Did you teach him that?"

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "I didn't, but I know the look all too well," Olivia said.

"He uses it on you, too?" Alex asked.

"Yes, but I was actually referring to you," Olivia grinned.

"Heyyy, I do not…" Alex said, then realized she was definitely lying. "Ok, maybe sometimes."

"You mean like how you somehow convinced me to let you not sort through those boxes the day we moved in?" Olivia said. "Which, may I add, you still haven't done?"

"Babyyyyy, I will," Alex said. "I'll do it tomorrow."

"Why not start tonight while I give Noah a bath and cook dinner?" Olivia said.

Alex smirked, stepped closer to Olivia, pushing her back toward the counter. Her hands looped behind Olivia's belt loops once again.

"I thought…you said something about…ice cream later?" Alex said, leaning close to Olivia's ear. Then she tilted her head down and gave her own version of puppy dog eyes to Olivia.

Olivia smiled and leaned in to give Alex a kiss – one that slowly built until they were interrupted by Noah standing at the kitchen entrance.

"Ughhhhh! I thought you said I wasn't gonna have a sister!" Noah said when he saw them kissing.

"What?" Olivia said, confused.

"You're kissing," Noah said. "Andy said that's how he got a sister, his parents kissing."

Olivia cocked her head to say what again, but Alex stopped her.

"Don't worry Noah, remember what we talked about?" Alex reminded him.

Noah nodded but still looked unhappy as he made his way back to the bedroom.

"What on earth was that about?" Olivia said. "Also, I really hope we don't have to explain the birds and bees to Noah this soon. I'm not ready for that."

"It's…I don't know, I'll explain later," Alex said, laughing.

She turned to walk away but felt the brunette pull on her hand.

Olivia raised her eye brows and smirked, "Over ice cream?"

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	37. Money

_A/N: Quick chapter to kind of move this along. End is in sight...then back to finishing up Noah series. Been swamped with work over the Eclipse and just recovering._

* * *

 **MONEY**

"Alex?"

Olivia was sitting in their extra bedroom, now finally and office, and going through the bills to pay them

"Yeah, Liv?" Alex replied wandering down the hall to the office.

"I'm looking for our cable bill," Olivia said. "Did we get it?"

"Um, I don't know, but it's been paid," Alex said.

"What?"

"I set it up for autopay," Alex said. "It was deducted yesterday, I believe."

"Oh, how much?" Olivia said.

"Ummm, $150 or something, I think?" Alex said.

"You think?" Olivia said.

"Yeah, I mean, roughly," Alex said. "That was the package we picked because it had the cartoon channel Noah likes."

"Did we get a statement or anything?" Olivia said.

"I may have gotten an email," Alex said. "Liv, it's been paid. So we'll have a statement of all of our monthly bills each month on the bank statement."

"But, you didn't look at the bill?" Olivia said. "You don't even know how much they charged you. What if they charged you extra?"

"Honey, why would they do that?" Alex said. "Besides, I saw it come through my bank. I would have noticed if it wasn't the right amount."

"You don't even know what the right amount is," Olivia said, exasperated.

"I told you, around $150," Alex said. "That includes our internet, too."

"Fine," Olivia said. "What about the electricity bill? I haven't seen it either."

"Same," Alex said. "Geez, Liv, what are you? 70? I mean, even my dad uses online bill pay."

"I'm not against online bill pay," Olivia said. "But I do like to know what I'm spending. Sometimes they tack on extra charges. One time I was being charged an extra $10 a month on my cable bill for a second TV in my one-bedroom apartment. I mean, who knows?"

"Ok, I'll forward the email to you," Alex said. "My detective can look it over."

Alex leaned down and kissed Olivia on the cheek. Olivia just rolled her eyes.

"I just think we should monitor our finances, Alex," Olivia said.

"Ok, you're right, but it's not like we're struggling," Alex said. "We both have good jobs, with good salaries, and money in savings. In addition to my trust, CDs, other stuff."

"Well, it doesn't mean we should be irresponsible," Olivia said. "We weren't all born with a trust fund."

Alex raised her eyebrows at Olivia, letting her know she was not pleased at Olivia's jab at her wealthy upbringing.

"I'm sorry, I just mean, we never know what could happen," Olivia said. "I have Noah to think about."

Alex finally sat down across from Olivia.

"Liv, I know that," Alex said. "We're not being irresponsible. In fact, I can't tell you the last time we went out to eat. Noah is in a good school. I know you have a college savings account for him. I actually do, too."

"You what?" Olivia said, surprised.

"I started a college savings account for Noah, or for whatever he needs," Alex said.

"Why?" Olivia said. "I mean, we're not even married…yet. You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't," Alex said. "And I know you can more than take care of Noah and his future needs. You don't need me for that, and I know that. But…I just thought, just in case anything ever happened…well, he'd have a padding."

"How long?"

"Um, pretty much since we started dating," Alex said, a little embarrassed. "I knew I wanted to be part of yours and Noah's life forever. So, it was just kind of my little way of reminding myself about it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia said.

"Well, I guess early on, I didn't want to freak you out in case, well, we ended," Alex said. "And then, I just figured you'd find out when we moved in together…and you did."

"You know, you still don't have to do that, even if we live together," Olivia said. "I've saved since…well, even before I even knew I would have Noah. Just in case."

"I know," Alex said. Olivia gave her a weird look. "I saw a statement on the desk the other day and was surprised by how much was in it. Then I saw the date opened and it made more sense."

Alex slid her chair closer to Olivia.

"Listen, Liv, I hope to be Noah's mother some day," Alex said. "And whether the money I've put aside goes toward his college or something else, our retirement, let's say, I plan on spending my life with you and Noah, and in that includes my time, resources, money and everything I have."

Olivia reached up and wiped away a small tear coming out of her eye, then kissed Alex gently.

"I love you for being so thoughtful," Olivia said. "And I want you to be Noah's mother, too. I mean, you basically already are."

"And I can't wait," Alex said.

"So, can we at least look at these bills, organize them or something?" Olivia said. "We can pay them online, but I just want to know what we're paying."

"Of course," Alex said. "Do you need me to teach you how to use the internet, too?" She laughed and got a swat from Olivia.

"I'l have you know, I know how to use the internet," Olivia said.

"Yes, you are quite the instagrammer," Alex said. "But you maybe need to calm down on those hashtags."

"My hashtags are hilarious," Olivia said.

Alex chuckled. "If you say so," she said.

"What do you say we get Noah changed and go out to dinner tonight? You made a good point about having not been out recently?" Olivia said.

"Oh, now you want to go out to dinner, huh?" Alex said.

"Well, my girlfriend is a trust fund baby, she can pay," Olivia joked.

"Ha! As if you'd ever let me," Alex said.

"I'm gonna go get Noah ready and we can go…anywhere you want," Olivia said.

"You mean anywhere I want that lets kids in," Alex joked.

"Hey, the life of a parent," Olivia said.

"I can't wait," Alex said.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	38. You're leaving?

_A/N: Popping in a short update for you. Few more chapters of this left before hopping back in Noah series to hopefully finish up. Thanks for all the notes. Sorry for the delay, but...work. Always work._

* * *

 **LEAVING**

Olivia looked down at the letter on the table, reading it carefully again and again. She was grateful Noah was distracting himself with a game since she wasn't quite sure she understood the words on the page.

She sat down at the kitchen table and just waited. She waited on Alex to come home from work and hopefully get answers and explanation about what she was reading. What was putting a million thoughts through her mind.

 _Was Alex not happy? Had Olivia not noticed? Was the life she had planned for them still in the future?_

Finally, her ears perked up when she heard the key turn in the lock. The brunette's heart was racing. She had no idea what to say, what to ask. She started to get up to greet Alex, but decided to remain sitting. It was the only thing keeping her calm and not freaking out.

"Hey, Liv. I'm sorry I'm late," Alex said as she dumped her bag and turned back toward the door to lock it behind her.

Alex hadn't even turned around when Olivia, unsure what to say, just blurted out words she hadn't planned.

"You're leaving? Again?"

Alex spun around and froze, unsure who Olivia was talking to.

"What?" Alex asked.

"You're leaving. You're leaving and you didn't even tell me…your girlfriend? Where is it this time? Back to the Congo? D.C.? Wisconsin?"

"Liv, what the hell are you talking about?" Alex said. It had been a long day, but she had no idea what was going on with Olivia and she was suddenly pissed at the accusing tone.

Olivia stood up with the letter in her hand and held it up.

"Right here. You're leaving the DA's office? Don't you think that's something you should talk to me about? I know you're not retiring," Olivia snapped, angry at Alex pretending like she didn't know what was going on.

Alex started laughing sarcastically.

"Ok, one, that's just a draft," Alex said. "I haven't made up my mind. And two, I'm not going anywhere, but I'm glad to know you think I would just up and leave everything I have here with you and Noah. Thanks a lot."

"So, what's it about then?" Olivia said, not backing down. "You're thinking of leaving your job and didn't bother mentioned it?"

"I told you, it's a draft and I don't know what I'm doing yet," Alex said. "And we have talked about this."

"When?" Olivia said.

"When? How many times have we talked about me running for DA?" Alex said.

"What?" Olivia said. "A lot. But you've never mentioned leaving your job. And you made it sound like this was years off."

"So, what if I leave me job? Do you think I want to work for the DA I'm going to run against?" Alex said.

"Lots of people do it," Olivia said.

"Yeah, and they pay hell for it," Alex said. "Besides, the ones that stay have no chance at winning. I'd like to think I do."

"Of course, you do, but Alex, isn't this the kind of thing we talk about?" Olivia said, finally calming down.

"We have! A million times and you usually fall asleep when I start talking about future plans," Alex snapped.

Olivia sighed.

"And, like I said from the start…that is a DRAFT. I planned to talk to you about it this weekend. I was just working out what I wanted to say this morning after you and Noah left. I forgot I left it on the table," Alex said.

"Ok, but I thought we had a few years," Olivia said. "I mean, I figured by the time you ran, I could just retire and it would give me time to be home with Noah and help you in your campaign."

Alex took a deep breath and finally smiled. She was touched by the sweet gesture – one Olivia had never mentioned to her. She reached for Olivia's hand and the two sat down on the couch to continue their talk.

"Liv, I'd never ask you to do that," Alex said. "I know how much you love your job. You can't seriously be thinking about retiring. I mean, isn't that why you and Tucker broke up?"

"Yeah, but…things are different now," Olivia said. "And I said I figured it'd be a few years down the road."

"Look, I don't know if now is the right now," Alex said. "But I've been talking to Dad and a few other people who think the next election is the best chance."

"So, what would you do?" Olivia said.

"You mean for work?" Alex said. Olivia nodded. "Well, I wouldn't have to do anything if I didn't want to. I mean, I've never needed to rely on my trust fund, but it's there if we needed it. But, to answer your question, I would do private work."

"You'd be a defense attorney?" Olivia asked, almost rolling her eyes.

"I mean, I could, but I'd probably do something in immigration, advocate for victims, do some pro-bono work for nonprofits," Alex said. "Everyone needs lawyers."

"Is that what you'd want to do? I mean, I know you love helping others, but you also love kicking ass in the courtroom and being a prosecutor. You said you missed it so much in Witness Protection," Olivia said.

Alex smiled thinking back on their conversation when she came back for the Connors trial, how she wanted so much to tell Olivia everything about how she felt that night, but knew she'd just have to leave again.

"I would miss it, but truthfully, as DA, I wouldn't be in a courtroom anyway," Alex said. "I mean, I'd be a prosecutor, but not exactly trying cases. And it's not like I spend that much time there now as it is. I think I could manage. I would just get to kick ass in a different way."

Olivia smiled. "So…what do you want to do?"

"I'd like us to talk about it more this weekend, the implications for you and Noah…and for us," Alex said. "It's really important to me to think about you and Noah and I care what you think Liv, even if this feels like I'm dropping it on you suddenly."

Olivia shook her head. "No, it's no. I guess I just didn't think about you leaving the DA's office, but it makes sense. And Noah and I will be fine," Olivia said. "We'll talk, but know that no matter what you decide, I'm behind you 100 percent. You're ready, Alex. And I'll be right here next to you."

Alex reached out for Olivia's hand again and leaned in and kissed her.

"I love you," Alex said.

"I love you," Olivia said.

"Have you really thought about retiring just so you could help me?" Alex said.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "I don't know that I'm ready now, but if it helps you in your campaign, I'll do it."

"No way," Alex said. "Liv, I know how much you love your job. I'm prepared to do this with you still at SVU and letting you support me like you currently do."

"So, it sounds like you're going to do this," Olivia said. "I mean, we can still talk this weekend, and should, but maybe just to work out the logistics. I think you should do it."

"Do I have your vote?" Alex said, a smirk on her face, as she leaned forward on Olivia and pushing the brunette back on the couch.

"I'm pretty sure this is some sort of vote buying," Olivia said, sliding her hand up the back of Alex's shirt as the blonde was now fully on top of her.

"You going to report me?" Alex teased.

"Nah…I have a feeling I'll be a very satisfied constituent," Olivia said.

* * *

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


	39. Election

_A/N: Election night...(so there is a time jump)._

* * *

 **ELECTION**

 _18 months later…_

 _"To recap earlier results, Alexandra Cabot has won in a landslide and will be Manhattan's next District Attorney. She upset the incumbent, Mark Clever, in a surprise victory tonight. Ms. Cabot has been with the DA's office for a number of years unit last year when she announced her campaign. She is known as a tough-as-nails prosecutor, but she is most known for coming back from the dead after being shot and placed in witness protection by an international drug dealer. She will take office as of Jan. 1."_

Alex reached for the remote and turned the television off. She was still in her suit from the election night hoopla, only taking off her heels when arriving home before collapsing on the couch.

"You sure you don't want to keep watching?" Olivia said. "I can't believe you're not still out celebrating. This is a big deal." The brunette was rubbing Alex's feet. Alex had been in 6-inch heels all night and Olivia knew her feet were killing her.

"It is a big deal, and we can celebrate tomorrow," Alex said. "But, I did my duty, shook hands, kissed babies..."

"You kissed babies?" Olivia said, cutting her off.

"No, not really. I'm just saying, Liv, we had enough post-election fun, but now, I just want to relax," Alex said. "The last 18 months have been hard on all of us. I'm glad it's over."

"You and me both," Olivia said. She had to admit, the campaign had been harder and more work than she ever imagined, especially with running SVU and keeping up with a more active Noah. "You must be starving. You didn't eat any of the food at the event center."

"I actually am," Alex said, tilting her head back.

"How about I go pick up Noah from your dad and I'll bring some food back," Olivia said. "It's late, but I'm sure we can find something open."

"I think our Chinese place stays open until 2 a.m.," Alex said. "But, don't worry about Noah. Dad texted before I finally turned off my phone and said Noah was having a blast with them. He's probably tuckered out by now and fast asleep."

"If you say so," Olivia said. "I'll still go get us some food. The usual?"

Alex nodded and Olivia jumped up, then leaned down to give Alex one more congratulatory kiss, then headed out the door. Once she was gone, Alex sat up, turned her phone on and sent a text message. Once she got a reply, she turned it on silent and made her way to the bedroom to change out of her power suit.

#

 _One hour later_

"Alex, I texted you, but I guess your phone is still off," Olivia said, trying to make her way through the door with more food than the two of them could eat. "It took them forever, then they messed up your order and I know how picky you are."

Olivia continued into the dark apartment, not seeing Alex and wondering why it was dark. She'd understand if Alex had already fallen asleep. It had been a long day and night, but she had to admit, she was going to be a little disappointed if all their food turned into leftovers instead of a late dinner.

"Alex? Are you asleep?" Olivia said. She looked around the apartment. Alex's phone was still on the coffee table. She was sure the blonde was still there. Olivia turned on a lamp and saw a soft light coming from the bedroom and the door was ajar. It looked like the bedroom lamp.

"She fell asleep," Olivia chuckled to herself. She looked back at the food and considered putting it away, but she decided to go tuck Alex in before she did that. She just knew Alex would be sprawled across the bed. She'd be surprised if she even bothered to change out of her clothes.

"I know I was gone a long time, but I can't believe you're already asleep…" Olivia said as she pushed the door open to the bedroom.

"Alex…" Olivia said, stopping dead in her tracks. "Wha….?"

The light Olivia saw was a lamp. It was candles…a lot of them lit around the bedroom. The bed and floor covered in lillies, Olivia's favorite flower. Alex, now in a satin robe over satin nighty, was on one knee, ring in hand and smiling at the stunned look on Olivia's face.

"Olivia Margaret Benson…I love you. I love how you take care of me. I love how you and Noah make me happier than I've ever been. I love that you love me, that you make me laugh, that you care about the same things I care about, that you challenge me to be better at everything. I love Noah and how his smile lights up a room, just like his mom. I love his mischievous side and his serious side. Mostly, I love what we've created, the future we all have…together."

Olivia edged closer to Alex, slowly, tears falling down her face and letting Alex take her hand.

"I want a future with you and Noah. I want us to be a family. I want to be your wife and Noah's mother. Olivia…Liv…Will you marry me?" Alex said, hands slightly shaking.

Olivia could only nod as she covered her mouth with her right hand and watched as Alex slipped the inset diamond ring on Olivia's left hand.

"Yes…" Olivia finally whispered out. "Yes, I'll marry you."

She knelt down facing Alex and embraced the blonde…her fiancée. Olivia kissed Alex passionately, letting her hands run behind Alex's neck and pulling her closer.

Finally, the separated and stood, moving over to sit on the bed.

"When? How? I mean, how did you plan this with the campaign and everything going on?" Olivia finally asked.

"It…it wasn't hard and I had help. Specifically, from dad and our Chinese place," Alex said.

"Oh! You're the reason they messed everything up tonight," Olivia said, laughing.

"Guilty. I'm sorry, but I needed time to get things together," Alex said. "I first was going to wait and plan some big extravagant proposal, but I figured that's not really us and definitely not you."

"You're right about that," Olivia said. "So, you planned this night all along?"

"I did," Alex said.

"And if you lost?" Olivia said.

"Liv…come on, have some faith. I don't lose," Alex teased. "But to answer your question, yes, win or lose, I want to spend forever with you."

"Maybe I wouldn't have said yes if you lost," Olivia joked, eliciting a bump from Alex. "I mean, who wants to be married to a defense attorney."

"Oh God, thank goodness those days are over," Alex said. "Though I do have a bit more empathy for some of them."

"Oh really? Even Langan? Buchanan?" Olivia said.

"Ha! Never," Alex said. "Anyway, can we get back to me and you…and how overdressed you are right now?"

"I thought you were hungry?" Olivia said.

"Oh, I'm hungry alright…but the Chinese food can wait," Alex said. "I need something else right now. Namely, you."

"Well, you can have me…for the rest of our lives," Olivia said.

* * *

 _So...I know, I threw in a surprise there. And that's where this story ends (sorry, I can't do weddings). This was fun, started as a one-two-shot...and kind of evolved. Some day, I'll write a one-shot and it'll truly be just that. Anyway, I appreciate all the reviews through the whole thing. But now, I need to tie of a few other stories :-) (I'll be back, don't worry)._

 _As always, your reviews are appreciated. Love it, hate it, have ideas? Let me know with a comment or on twitter -rileyclocks!_


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